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Losing Battles	By : tasukigirl Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1274 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
Before I begin I'd like to thank everyone who supported this story despite the ridiculously long breaks between chapters... Yes, yes, it only took me about a year and a half to write this story -_- But at least, I can say with a little pride, that I finished it. :)

Without further ado, I give you the last chapter.

Losing Battles Ch. 12

Second Chances

"You're not obligated to win. You're obligated to keep trying to do the best you can every day."

~ Marian Wright Edelman

Battle 28:
*Kankuro*

Kankuro glanced out the window. The long yellow streets were still empty save a few kids kicking around a ball in the rising clouds of dust. "You sure they're supposed to show up today?" He tilted his head, eyes glancing across the mud clay buildings to the high rising wall protecting the hidden village.

"I received word they would arrive by my midday. Evening time if they were delayed. The desert is too difficult to travel when the sun is highest." Gaara's loose red curls were bent over a scroll. "They assured me they would be in time for the dinner ceremony tonight. Help me if you're so restless." Gaara held up a long scroll, waving it at his brother.

"What is this stuff?" Kankuro peered over his brother's shoulder. He glanced at a long list of names with small symbols etched out next to each one.

"The council compiled a list of all shinobi present and their ranks. Use this list to finish marking names. I need it to make sure I speak to the important ones and show the proper amount of respect to the rest of them." Gaara stood from his seat. He stretched his thin torso, arms sprouting slowly to either side. He bent his head from one shoulder to the other.

Kankuro chuckled. "You're the Kazekage. I figured you could do whatever you want. They all have to kiss your ass." Kankuro slid into the wooden chair. He picked up a brush with one hand, slid his pointer finger down the scroll to match up the names and skipped over the ones Gaara had already marked. "What are you going to do?"

"Some of the guests are eating breakfast in the commons. I was requested to join them." Kankuro raised an eyebrow. Gaara had already eaten breakfast at dawn. He knew that because he was one of the few people awake early enough to join him.

Gaara occupied Kankuro's former position by the window, face turned and one eye watching the yellow sun still rising over the wall. "I understand you're impatient. Keep yourself busy and the time will pass quickly enough." Kankuro paused. Uzumaki hadn't shown up with the first batch of delegates either. Of course he would hang back and accompany Haruno. He was her teammate. Kankuro looked back down at the list. He wondered if his brother would ever speak up about what happened that night. He and Temari were still waiting for him to broach the topic.

Gaara's robes shifted behind him. A desk drawer opened at his right, his brother's pale hand sliding it open. He grabbed a small black box resting on top of a few boxes of ink.

"Planning to propose to someone down there?" Kankuro joked. His brother failed to react. He stared at the box in his hand then slowly placed it on the desk.

"I have a favor to ask you." Gaara's eyes stayed fixed on the small box. Kankuro wondered about snatching it away and opening to tease his brother, but if Gaara was this quiet, chances were, it could be something dangerous.

"I'm listening. What's up bro?"

"I'm assigning you to host the incoming group of Konoha shinobi. Show them their rooms, make sure they're comfortable. And when you think it's appropriate, please," Gaara picked up the box and shifted it closer to Kankuro, "give this to Uzumaki."

Kankuro frowned at the small package. "What's in it? A bomb?" Gaara glared at him. "Why don't you give it him yourself?"

Gaara hesitated to speak. He pulled his chin a little higher and walked away from the desk, clasping his hands behind his back the way Baki always did before saying something important.

"I am the Kazekage. I must treat all my guests with the respect their ranks afford. I cannot be seen as giving special preference to anyone in particular. I cannot give gifts."

"So why don't you just wait until after?"

"It's important," Gaara replied quickly, his tone rising.

Kankuro lifted up two hands. "I got it, it's important. It can't wait." He picked up the small box and stuffed it in his pocket. "I'll give it to him when we have a private moment."

Gaara nodded. He stopped pacing and allowed his hands to rest at his sides. I'll be in the commons room. You're free to join us when you're done." Kankuro smiled at his brother, picking up the brush to continue where he left off.

"See you."

Gaara walked away slowly, giving his brother one more worried glance before shuffling off. The office door clicked shut behind him. Kankuro waited for the footsteps to fade down the hall before stuffing his hand into his pocket and pulling out the mystery box. He checked for tape, or seals or anything that might make it difficult to open. But there was nothing to prevent him. It was a plain, simple, plastic black box. Kankuro lifted the lid very slowly, eyes darting up to the office door expecting his brother to rush in any minute. When nothing happened, he pulled away the top and looked at the contents inside.

Kankuro paused. His mouth hung open before he remembered to close it and slowly, he began to smile. He replaced the lid on the box carefully, and gently slid it into the pocket stitched into his pants leg. He couldn't think of a safer place to keep it.

Kankuro twiddled with his puppets trying to keep himself busy. He glanced at the clock, noting the slim minute hand had only moved up a few notches. He wondered if he could convince his brother to allow him to go search for the missing party. Everyone else had arrived and surely they should have made it to Suna by noon. There were no storms, no bandits (he hoped), or any reason for such remarkable delays. Something must have gone wrong, he thought to himself, squeezing the narrow piece of wood in his hands tightly.

He startled when the rod of wood cracked beneath his fingers. Kankuro cursed and let the pieces fall. He huffed and let the pieces of his puppet clatter to the floor. This was not helping him concentrate. Kankuro climbed onto his feet and dusted the wood shavings off his black clothes. He glanced at himself in the mirror, still unaccustomed to seeing his face looking back at him and shut his eyes tight. She would be here soon. She would. He needed to get a grip and stop freaking out like a genin about to enter his first mission.

His hand instinctively reached inside his pocket. He fingered the slim metal chain, the cool touch restoring his calm. He would go downstairs and see if anyone needed help. He knew Gaara was entertaining most of the guests in some sort of ice breaker in the commons, but he was too wound up to socialize just yet. He would see if Temari was faring any better since her supposed genius lover boy was also in the last party. He wondered if that's why she was so bitchy to him earlier in the day.

The hallways were empty when he descended from the upper wing. His footsteps echoed and faded in time for the next one. His head rose when he heard pattering feet rushing up the steps.

A young face appeared with pale cheeks red from exertion. "Kankuro-dono! Kazekage-sama sent me to fetch you. The last group of Konohan dignitaries arrived." Kankuro froze and his heart skipped a beat before his senses kicked in. He nodded dumbly and rushed down the steps after the small figure leading the way.

The courtyard was bustling by the time he arrived. The Suna shinobi were neatly lined up, ready to greet guests. Some of the lower ranked shinobi were milling around carts piled up and wrapped in canvas. He noted Temari among them, helping that normally lazy boyfriend of hers unhitch the animals. He realized then that the delay must have been for the poor beasts now breathing heavily. The desert was indeed unkind.

Kankuro slipped in line next to his brother. His brother wore his full white robes despite the heat, face shaded by the wide sweeping hat marking his rank. Some of the delegates stepped forward to greet him. Shizune he recognized.

"My deepest apologies for the delay, Kazekage-sama. One of our horses slipped on the way over. Finding someone to trade animals with was difficult."

Gaara took her hand and shook it gently. "Please, make no apologies. We are all glad that everyone made it safely." Kankuro tried to pay attention, smiling at Shizune while his eyes scanned just over her head for signs of pink tresses. He tried to curb his frustration when he could not see her. "Or if you like, Kankuro can show you to your rooms. There is time to rest before dinner."

Shizune glanced worriedly behind her. "That's very kind of you, but I prefer to oversee the handling of the equipment first. But we do have some members I think could use some rest." Shizune turned and cupped her hands over her mouth. "Uzumaki, over here. Bring the girls."

Kankuro noted that his brother stiffened next to him. He glanced over at Uzumaki who was on top of a cart, pulling off a large piece of canvas. His head glanced in their direction and he hopped off the cart easily. He disappeared around the boxes piled high and reemerged holding Sakura's hand. Kankuro took a deep breath.

She seemed pale even from this distance. Her friend, the blond one that usually talked too much, was close behind her. Naruto approached carefully. His eyes were bright and his expression a war between excitement and caution. "Greetings, Kazekage-sama," he said politely. His eyebrows knit just barely. Kankuro's eyes slid to his brother curiously.

"Greetings, everyone," his eyes swept to the girls. The light in Naruto's eyes went out. "You have all had a long journey. Please, follow Kankuro to your rooms and get some rest. Dinner is not until sundown."

Kankuro's eyes fell on Sakura. She definitely looked a little pale. He stopped himself from taking her into his arms. She would be angry if he did so.

"I'm okay," Uzumaki said. "I prefer to help unload the equipment." He turned his head to look at the proceedings behind them. Some of the Sand shinobi had already stepped in to help.

"We can handle it," Shizune spoke up. "Get some sleep. We can call you for dinner."

"But Shizune," Naruto faltered. His eyes glanced at Gaara quickly then looked away.

Shizune smiled at the Kazekage and took Naruto's arm. She pulled him a few feet away and tried to whisper.

"I know you've been keeping watch at night when you should have been sleeping. You don't need to push yourself this hard. Get some rest. I know it's what Tsunade would have ordered." Naruto didn't look happy, but he didn't object. He avoided looking at Gaara.

"So, where do we go?"

Kankuro glanced at his brother. His brother beckoned him closer with one finger. "South Wing, second floor. They have all the odd numbers. I'll finish up here and then I'll be in my office." Kankuro didn't miss the sidelong glance at the blond shinobi now directing his attention to the girls. Kankuro followed his gaze and nodded.

"If you'll follow me," he said cheerfully. Sakura gave him a weak smile. Ino's eyes gave him a once over before smiling. It made him uncomfortable to have her look at him like that in front of Sakura. He turned his back to his guests and led them to the correct wing. He warred with himself the entire way, wondering what to talk about?wondering how to get the other ones to go away.

"How was the journey?" he said lamely.

"Long," Uzumaki complained.

"Hot," Ino said. "This weather does nothing good for my hair," she picked at her bangs. "And I think I have a new tan line now."

"I told you to wear sun block," Sakura giggled. Kankuro noted that she made no comment on the journey. He found the staircase and began to ascend it slowly.

"Getting those carts across river country was a nightmare. I don�t know how the merchants do it." The last words were stifled by a yawn. "Oh man, maybe Shizune was right." Kankuro glanced at Naruto who was blinking quickly, holding his eyes shut for seconds at a time. He shook his head and opened his eyes. They reached the top of the stairs and Kankuro quickly began looking at the numbers. Someone on the organization committee had the foresight to attach names to the doors.

Kankuro scanned the names, stopping when he found "Uzumaki" in neat black letters. Below it was the name Nara."

"Here�s your stop," Kankuro looked at Naruto. He turned the dark wooden knob and let the door swing open. Two neat single beds were pushed against either side of the wall. "Awesome, I�m rooming with Shikamaru!" Kankuro snorted. Naruto looked at him in question.

"Nothing," Kankuro shook his head, thinking of his sister and what she would have to say about that. Naruto stepped into the room and threw his small pack on the floor before flopping onto the bed face down.

"This is nice," he mumbled into the sheets. "I think I�ll stay like this for awhile."

Kankuro smiled, shaking his head. He wondered how many sleepless nights Uzumaki had actually spent. He wondered if it was really the safety of his traveling party that kept him up all night. Kankuro�s hand reached into his pant pocket.

"Before you knock out, I have something for you." His hands grasped the small black box and he pulled it out carefully. Naruto�s head popped up. Kankuro held up the box, wagging it at him. Naruto turned onto his back and held up a hand. Kankuro tossed it in a high arc into the air. Naruto caught it neatly. He held it in his hand and looked at it curiously.

"You�re a great guy Kankuro, but if this is what I think it is�"

Kankuro rolled his eyes at him. "As if you'd ever be my type. It's from my brother."

Naruto�s face immediately went blank. He worried his lip and looked at the small box closely. He sat up and swung his legs over the bed. He looked at Sakura and she smiled and nodded slightly. Naruto looked down at the box again and narrowed his eyebrows.

"Stop being a drama queen and just open it already," Ino prompted. Naruto glowered, but his hand reached for the top and pulled it off quickly. He took a deep breath when he looked at what was inside. A tender sort of smile spread across his face.

Kankuro smiled as Naruto lifted the silver chain free from its box. A small pendant dangled on the end, flashing the Kazekage's seal in the light. Once upon a time, Naruto guarded that small symbol jealously. After Gaara had it made for him, Naruto wouldn�t even let Temari or him touch it. Kankuro recognized the thick lines and geometric forms signaling Gaara�s name- the seal that told any citizen in Sunagakure's walls that the wearer was a trusted ally and friend and dearest to their Kazekage's heart. Rumor was the Kazekage had hurled it into the desert after Uzumaki left him. Kankuro was glad to see that this was not true.

"Put it on, Naruto," Sakura said. He beamed a brilliant smile at her and slipped it over his head. He tucked it into his shirt and pat his chest. Naruto leapt to his feet quickly.

"I don't feel so tired anymore, I think I'll go for a walk!" he said cheerfully. He grabbed Sakura�s hand on the way out, leaned in closely and whispered something too low for prying ears. "Get some rest, Sakura-chan! I�ll see you at dinner!" He started skipping down the hall.

"His office!" Kankuro shouted at him, not at all fooled by this "taking a walk" business. He grinned as Naruto waved a hand in thanks. "That guy," Kankuro shook his head, closing the door behind him. "Shall we continue ladies?" He smiled at Sakura for longer than was perhaps appropriate. He tried to correct his mistake by offering Ino a friendly smile, but she was onto him and grinned. Luckily, she didn�t seem offended.

A few doors down Kankuro found the names Haruno and Yamanaka scrawled in messier letters on the door. He opened the door for them and allowed the ladies to put down their packs. He looked around the room, trying to think up an excuse to linger a bit longer.

Sakura sat on the bed and closed her eyes slowly. Ino bustled about the room checking the view, the amenities and fiddled in front of the mirror. She scowled at her reflection, viciously combing through her blonde hair with her fingers.

"Is everything to your liking? Can I get you anything?" Kankuro looked at Sakura in particular. Sakura glanced at Ino. Their eyes met and something passed that Kankuro could not follow.

"You know what? I'm absolutely parched. We ran out of water a while ago. I�m going to get some refreshments for us," she said to Sakura. She looked at Kankuro expectantly.

"The commons," he said. She nodded and smiled. "I�ll be back later," she waved one hand more dismissively than in farewell and disappeared down the hall. Kankuro watched her go and then stepped into the room awkwardly. He was careful to leave the door open for the sake of propriety and sat on the bed opposite Sakura. He placed his hands on his knees, trying not to be hyperaware of the small parcel weighing down his pocket.

Sakura was quietly looking at the window.

"So, how are you?" he said.

Her slim pale hands rested in her lap. Her shoes were dusty from the road and her pale pink hair was windblown, but still beautiful, he thought.

"I�m okay,'" she said, still not looking at him. "The journey was harder with so much cargo, but we managed somehow," she smiled weakly, green eyes finally meeting his.

Kankuro looked away sheepishly. They both sat quietly together. Kankuro thought up at least ten different ways to broach the topic but didn�t feel a lick of confidence in any of them. He grit his teeth in frustration and bunched his fingers into fists.

"Look, I feel really awkward about this," he blurted. "I know we didn�t get to say much at the end of the last conference, but I wanted�" he paused. He forced his eyes up. "I wanted to let you know that night meant something to me."

"Meant?" her face twisted with hurt.

"Means!" Kankuro said quickly. "It still means something." Her face relaxed into contemplation. "I wanted to discuss this with you before this," he waved in the air, "begins. Before things get awkward and our personal relationship interferes with what we should be doing here."

She nodded.

"It's best we get this out in the open and be done with it."

She nodded again. "You want it to be done with. I understand. It means a lot to you, but it just won't work. Is that it?" Kankuro froze. He shook his head wondering why he was failing so badly at saying what he wanted to say.

"Not in the least!" he said. He looked away, his heart rate beating so strongly he could hear it thundering in his ears. "It's the opposite, actually. I didn't pursue you last time to play with you or jerk you around. I know I come off as a jerk sometimes and my flirtations don't always seem genuine. But you have to realize that the only time I'm like this is with you."

Her green eyes were round with either shock or fear or something else that looked too much like something unwelcome. He took a deep breath and reached inside his pocket, pulling out the small parcel wrapped in crinkly brown paper.

"I know you said it wouldn't work. I tried really hard to forget you and tell myself why we made the right decision. But I came to the conclusion that it's absolute bullshit. All of it. And I don't want to live the rest of my short shinobi life asking myself what if? Tell me you haven't asked yourself the same."

The calm woman in front of him looked down. She covered her mouth and gave a strangled sort of gasp. Her narrow shoulders shook and it took Kankuro a good half a minute to realize that Sakura was crying. His heart sank to his stomach.

"Sakura?" he asked cautiously. He could feel his own throat tightening. "Say something." He slid off the bed onto his knees, scuffling along to floor to close the yard between them. "Tell me if I�m wrong to think like this." He swallowed down the urge to break down, telling himself this wasn't the end. He couldn�t work so hard just to lose her now.

He rubbed the smooth skin on the back of her hand, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"Tell me what you're thinking?" he pleaded. God his sister would mock him for life if she could see him now.

"I'm so relieved," she whispered. Kankuro's eyebrows furrowed, wondering if he heard her correctly. "I'm so relieved," she repeated, smiling the best she could despite crying. "You have no idea how long I've agonized over this. I don't know what I would have done otherwise." She slid her hand out from under his, flipping it over to accept his hand in hers.

He squeezed her hand gently, smiling probably idiotically though he was too happy at the moment to care. Sakura sniffled, calming down the tears that had overtaken her so suddenly.

"So then you agree? You'll give me another chance?" He pushed himself up on his knees, raising an arm to embrace her. She put a hand against his chest and pushed him away.

"I think you should hear my news first." Kankuro's smile faltered. Sakura had stopped smiling. "There's a reason why I took the longer route to Suna. As of this month, Tsunade has taken me off of active shinobi duty. I am not to use my chakra for anything non medical related, I am not to accept any more missions and I will not travel on any business outside the village without escort."

Kankuro frowned. Pulling away from her and looking over her body to see what could possibly merit something so extreme. He thought she looked pale when she arrived. Had Sakura become ill? Panic seized his heart.

"Until the baby is born that is."

Kankuro froze and then felt like he was falling. He realized he had been falling when his butt hit his feet curled up beneath him. He looked at Sakura, too dumbfounded to say anything. He pointed at himself and raised his eyebrows. Her mouth quirked to one side and she nodded. Kankuro felt winded. He took a deep shuddering breath, trying to let her words sink in.

A baby. His baby. Their baby. Kankuro was going to be a dad.

Kankuro crushed Sakura to his chest, holding her slim body so close he soon opened his eyes and let her go. "I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you, are you okay?" he looked from her face to the still flat tummy housing his child.

Sakura chuckled. She pulled Kankuro into another embrace and held him there. "I'm fine. I won't break so easily." She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. He cupped the base of her skull, fingers threading in her pink hair and he kissed the top of her head.

"We'll be the best parents ever, just wait. You'll see." Kankuro felt a surge of warm happiness flooding every part of his body. He thought of the cold household he was brought up in;his father, the former kazekage, and his harsh upbringing. Kankuro held Sakura and vowed that he would not fail like his father did. He would do everything in his power to protect this child and do all he could to raise it in a house full of love.

"Just watch, I'll take care of you." He dropped the small parcel he'd been carrying onto the bed, the silver chain slipped free of its paper and the small seal shined�the one he had made to mark her as his; the one that would tell the village she was to be welcomed with open arms.

"Everything will be okay."
"That's what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we've changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning."

~ Richard Bach
Battle 29:

*Gaara*

Gaara walked towards his office more briskly than usual. Unloading the equipment had taken longer than expected, but now that he was done, he was technically free until dinner time. The office guard stood straighter as he approached.�Kazekage-sama, you have a guest waiting inside.� Gaara�s heart suddenly pounded in his chest. He nodded calmly, not bothering to ask who it was and stepped inside. His sister was staring at the titles in his bookshelf.

�There you are,� she said. Gaara closed the door quickly behind him. His heart still beat rapidly despite his nervousness dissipating. �I need to tell you something. And it�s big.�

Temari had his attention. His sister was never one to exaggerate. Gaara walked to his chair and settled into it slowly, trying to appear calmer than he felt.�What is it?�

�Haruno isn�t listed as an active shinobi.�

Gaara tilted his head. He wasn�t sure what conclusion he was supposed to gather from this. Certainly there was a good reason.

�Nara tells me she was extra cautious during this trip. There have been no announcements yet, but he thinks she�s pregnant.�

Gaara waited to hear more. Temari looked at him, waiting for a response.

�Well? Aren�t you concerned? Your nephew will be born a Konohan citizen. Doesn�t that mean anything to you?�

Gaara�s eyes widened a little. Temari had assumed he�d know who the father was. His brother was going to have a child. He would be an uncle.

�I�m going to kill that little shit. How dare he make me an aunt this young?�

A slow smile spread across his face. Kankuro was going to have a family. He liked Sakura. She was as smart as she was beautiful and strong. Their child would no doubt be an excellent shinobi one day.

�The distance between them will prove problematic,� Gaara mused. �I�d hate to lose Kankuro and I doubt the Hokage will let go of her prot�g�. This is something I must discuss with her.� Gaara pulled out a scroll and a brush. He dipped it into his pot of ink and began writing.

�What do you propose?� Temari asked.

�I propose nothing. I suggest the Hokage meet with one of her own shinobi.� Gaara met his sister�s eyes. �Your boyfriend has submitted an interesting proposal to both the Hokage and myself suggesting a system of double citizenship between our countries; one that will allow citizens to move freely between countries and choose where to accept their shinobi duties.�

�That would be,� his sister paused. Her eyes sparkled like a girl�s and Gaara realized that for all her tough acts and supposed cool interest in the other man, Temari was head over heels for the prickly genius. �I mean� that would be neat,� she said.

Gaara smiled. �We were waiting until things settled with the Mizukage before discussing it. I think Kankuro�s situation may speed up the talks.�

A knock sounded at the door. Gaara�s guard stepped in and announced the Kazekage had another visitor. The guard glanced at Temari sheepishly.

�I�ll let you get to work. I�ll talk to you after dinner.� Gaara nodded, trying to finish up his note when Temari excused herself. Some minutes later, Gaara noted a blonde head in his peripheral vision peering from behind the door.;

�Did you forget something?� he looked up from his note. The last word died on his tongue. Uzumaki slipped in from behind the door and quietly shut it behind him. He looked at Gaara with a gentle sort of smile that sent Gaara�s heart hammering through his chest again. Naruto usually burst into his office with strings of words and too many loud things to say. This man waded through his office quietly, slowly, looking at him with the sort of tenderness that brought heat to his cheeks.

Gaara tried to concentrate on his note and write a few more words. He could feel Uzumaki�s eyes on him, watching him. He lowered his eyes feeling the blush spread. He posed his brush and stared at the words he had written, realizing he didn�t even remember what he planned to write next.

�I received your gift,� Naruto said. He stood up straight, keeping the proper distance from his desk as befitted a lower ranking shinobi. �I would like to express my thanks, Kazekage-sama.�

�Your thanks are not necessary,� Gaara said stiffly. He placed his brush in its holder, resigned to finish the memo later. �Your acceptance is enough.� Gaara looked down at the note, wondering why this was so difficult for him. It was this sort of awkwardness that helped him lose the other shinobi in the first place. �It�s enough,� Gaara said a little more sincerely, forcing his eyes up to meet smiling blue eyes.

�I didn�t think�� Naruto turned away. One hand clasped the other around his wrist. �I didn�t think I deserved your forgiveness.�

Gaara�s heart clenched. �You don�t,� he said. Naruto flinched, lips pressed into the barest hint of a frown. �I didn�t say I forgive you.�

�But then why?� Naruto stepped forward quickly. Gaara held up a hand.

�Did you touch him after you returned? Did you let him touch you?� Gaara said. He hated that he didn�t trust Naruto completely. He hated that he spent six weeks wondering where Naruto made his bed and who was in it.

�No,� Naruto said coldly. �I ended my relationship with Sasuke the night I returned to Konoha. I saw him the day after because I was required to and not a single day since.�

Gaara turned away. The small comfort those words brought did little to soothe the guilt over his distrust.

�So it�s over between you two,� Gaara stated.

�Of course it is,� Naruto said. �Did you think I would ask you to wait for me otherwise?�

�Did you ask him to wait the first time he lured you into his bed?� The hurt on Naruto�s face was immediate. Gaara regretted speaking so sharply. �Forgive me that was out of line.�

The minute�s happiness in Naruto�s eyes had all but diminished. His fingers plunged below the neckline of his jacket. He fished out the seal and held it up for him to see. �Then why did you give this to me? I thought�� Naruto looked down. �I thought��

�That it meant all was forgiven?� Gaara smiled sadly, hating how he could still doubt Naruto�s sincerity; hating how many times he imagined the other man return to the dark eyed lover he left in Konoha. �Part of me will never forgive you . . . for loving him, while he did nothing to deserve it. Part of me can�t forget being left behind.� Gaara met his eyes.

Naruto was silent. He swallowed and let the pendant fall down to his neck�the same one Gaara used to lure him back into his bedroom. Yes, Gaara admitted it to himself. He wasn�t innocent either. He was just as guilty for that night as Naruto and he didn�t regret a moment.

�But part of me also refuses to give you up.� He wondered if Naruto too had closed his eyes in bed, trying to relive that night through dreams and memory.

Naruto�s eyes lit up again.

�I�ll never trust you the way I once did. But it�s better than the alternative.� Gaara touched the scar on his forehead lightly. Some called it a tattoo, but he knew it for what it was. �I don�t want to see myself become my old self again.

Naruto stepped closer to the desk, two arms stretched forward, reaching for him. Two warm palms cupped both sides of his face, lifting his mouth up to meet the one descending onto his.

Naruto�s lips were warm and wet and slightly chapped against his. Their mouths moved slowly against one another, lips speaking, without words, all the things they needed to say.

Gaara knew then that Sasuke would never threaten him again. His hand dug into Naruto�s blond spikes and he held the kiss, trying to swallow down the lump rising in his throat. It was undignified for the Kazekage to cry.

�I�ll never let that happen,� Naruto whispered, pressing their foreheads together. �Ever.�

Gaara smiled away his awkwardness. �You can�t save everyone. No one can. Sometimes all you can do is help them learn how to save themselves.�

Gaara�s fingers picked at the seal. He lifted it and felt its weight on his finger tips. �I gave this back because I can�t imagine it belonging to anyone else; because there�s no one else in this world that makes me feel so human.� He looked into Naruto�s eyes and he saw not the boy he had idealized from his youth or the lover he had blindly trusted for so long. He saw the flawed human being that was the only man he had ever loved; he saw the desperate need to love and be loved in return, be it from an ex-lover or an enemy turned friend.

�It�s a second chance for both of us.� Naruto quirked an eyebrow.

�Both of?� Gaara silenced him with a kiss.

It was the only way he could ask forgiveness for failing too.

Gaara kept their lips pressed tight, vowing next time he would not run at the appearance of a challenger for Naruto�s affections and next time he would not shield his hurt beneath a mask of sand. Next time he might not have a second chance to squander.

Gaara pulled away and inhaled sharply. Naruto�s question still lingered on the tip of his tongue. He could see it in the still raised eyebrows asking him what that kiss was for. Gaara started to shake his head, to dismiss it as anything important.

He paused, shaking his head at himself and met Naruto�s confused stare. He reminded himself that sometimes it was important to say things aloud, no matter how obvious they may seem.

He tugged on the pendant, bringing Naruto�s face close enough to bump noses. �Next time you won�t walk away from me so easily. I warn you, Uzumaki, I�ve learned my lesson.� A cool grin slid onto Gaara�s face. �Next time I�m not losing you without a fight."

~*~*~ THE END ~*~*~
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Losing Battles