mischief's cracktastic shorts
Deep Thoughts... or something
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Anyone who’s played Naruto: Clash of Ninja 2 will
understand what inspired this. XD
broke a small piece of my brain yesterday.
quiet moments (while he's waiting for Kakashi-sensei
to show his sorry ass up, for example) contemplating the important things in
life. Things like Ichiraku's recipe for pork ramen,
how Tsunade-baachan can manage to keep her tits from
falling out of her top while she's fighting, if Ino's
carpet matches the drapes (he's around Sakura enough to know she doesn't
lighten her hair,) and (because he leant a few things about human sexuality
during his travels with Ero-sennin) what certain people
would do in bed. Hey, he's sixteen; these are important things!
Neji is one of those, despite the fact that if he'd
just loosen up, he could probably nail any girl (or guy) in the village.
makes a mental note to keep Sakura-chan away from
him.
would have to be romantic - lots of kissing, lot of feather-light caresses. It
would be with someone she loved unquestionably, most likely after she's
married. He sincerely hopes she finds that person.
he thinks the only thing Kakashi could get it up for
would be his stupid books (the guy has people fawning all over him everywhere
they go and never seems to care,) and that's not really something he wants to
think about. Naruto quickly shakes his head in a poor
attempt to clear it.
seen her be one hell of a control freak (it's easy to see who wear the pants in
team 10, that's for sure) but then other times, she's so teasing and sarcastic,
he's almost certain sex with her would include some serious mind games as well.
She's probably kinky, and that thought puts a definite grin on his face.
a difficult one, he decides. He imagines her behavior would probably depend on
who it was. With him, she'd probably be loud and bossy, telling him to speed
up, slow down, shut the hell up. He's not entirely
sure how he feels about that, but he does know he's more than willing to
find out first hand. If she were with someone like Sasuke,
though, (his face immediately darkens at the thought) she'd probably be all shy
and submissive and embarassed by damn near
everything. The lights would definitely be off, no question about it.
turn to Sasuke then. Bastard thinks he's so cool,
he'd probably grab his cock and say something lame like, "Feel the power
of Uchiha" or something. As that mental image
then takes root, he suddenly can't breathe. His cheeks balloon out as his eyes
squeeze shut until a second later, he's guffawing so hysterically that he's
pretty sure he's crying. He doesn't care, though, because that is about the
funniest damn thing he thinks he's ever heard even if it's just a product of
his imagination.
half-lying on the bridge when Sakura's curiosity finally gets the best of her
and she demands, "What?"
to say exactly, but it doesn't matter anyway since he can't talk. Hell, he can
hardly breath! A little while later after lots of side
clutching, Naruto somehow is able to get control of
all over again.
snort and mumble that "Dead Last has finally lost it," but it doesn't
phase Naruto at all.
Criticism doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot coming from him right now.
minute later when Naruto's cheeks actually hurt from
smiling so much, that he's able to finally stop laughing. He wipes his eyes on
his jacket sleeve and takes several deep breaths before saying, "For your
sake, bastard, I hope you never get laid."