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Break to Breathe	By : Okami-Rayne Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Neji Views: 1958 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: NARUTO and its respective characters were created and are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement intended. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
BREAK TO BREATHE

by Okami Rayne

Chapter Eleven
"I chose death…and I chose my freedom…"
The voice fell in a soft, melodic baritone Neji remembered from years ago, even though the words had never been spoken directly to him.
I'm dreaming again…aren't I?
But this time, there was a different pain. Spreading from his chest, blossoming like a bloody rose. He felt a phantom caress to his head and sensed a familiar, sorrowful smile.
"Neji…you must live…"
Confusion cast across his mind. Why those words? Of all the words; it made no sense.
Father…?
He heard the flutter of birds' wings. Then the apparition of that familiar face faded and with it, all lingering traces of the dream – but not the pain.
Why wouldn't I want to live…?
Neji's lashes fluttered open, a shaky breath whispering from his lips as his mind crawled back up to the surface of awareness. When his vision adjusted he realised he was staring at a ceiling, painted beige; not the familiar stark white of his own room.
Then he remembered where he was.
Nara.
Neji blinked slowly, taking his time to let his senses settle back into some semblance of order. He flexed his fingers, the tips resting against his stomach before he slid the pads to his chest, tracing the chakra points by memory.
It shouldn't still be hurting like this…I pushed too hard, too soon, with the Tsubasa…
Pulling a deep breath into his lungs, he held it for a count of five and exhaled slowly, tensing up against the urge to cough. There was no mistaking it; repeated use of the Palm Rotation had caused most of the damage. Expelling such concentrated chakra from all the chakra points, especially the ones he'd altered and blocked, had created this backfire.
I need to devise an alternative form of defence…at least until I can find a way to fix this…
Neji let his hand fall back down to his side, his gaze dropping away from the ceiling to scan along the elegant brushwork hand-painted across the fusuma panels; an aesthetic chronicle of the herds of deer that the Nara tended.
Abruptly, the memory of last night came back to him; or was it the night before?
How long have I been unconscious?
The soft twitter of birdsong drew his gaze to the shoji door, slotted open enough to let a cool breeze into the room. Judging by the light, it was early morning.
How many days have I lost?
Neji slid his elbows beneath him, propping himself up carefully. He scanned the room, his attention falling to the familiar looking travel bag he often took on missions further afield.
How…?
There was no way Shikamaru would have gone to the Hyūga residence; which suggested that someone had brought it here. An uneasy feeling roiled low in Neji's gut, but he ignored it in favour of appreciating the fact that he at least had a change of clothes.
And a note.
A folded slip of paper lay atop the bag. Quirking a brow, Neji stretched across for the message, sliding his thumb into the fold to flip the sheet open.
Food in fridge (takeaway). Painkillers in kitchen. Your stuff's in your bag and your ass is covered. Don't bother looking for what's missing - you won't find it. I'll be back soon. Don't be a pain. Try to relax – Shikamaru
Neji stared at the lazy scrawl, his eyes retracing the script.
Missing? What the hell is missing?
Neji glanced around the room, his drowsy mind simultaneously scanning over what might be absent. The only thing missing, to his knowledge, was Shikamaru.
Is he mocking me?
A frown tugged Neji's brow as he dropped his eyes back to the note. If his 'ass was covered' that at least implied he'd have a little time to try and find a solution to this situation.
As for the underscored 'relax'…
"Idiot," Neji snorted, despite the faint twitch at his lips.
With his mind still slightly sleep-addled, it wasn't until Neji had set the note down, folded up the futon, checked his travel bag, moved into the bathroom, glanced in the mirror and stared in indignation at his forehead that he realised what was missing.
That bastard.

The pig was suspicious.
There was no doubt about it.
Shikamaru could tell from the way it was looking at him as he approached the Hokage's mansion, its beady eyes narrowed in a decidedly critical way.
It's a damned pig…get a grip…
Tonton must have read his mind in some kind of weird precognitive way, because the swine issued a long drawn-out grunt that sounded like she was growling.
Akamaru I can take…but this pig is just weird.
"Hey," he drawled, strolling on past the pink animal. "You sold me out to the dog…that's not cool."
Tonton perked her ears and swivelled her tubby little body, trotting along after him. Shikamaru glanced down with irritation at the Hokage's red-clad and pearl-wearing pet.
Seriously, why the hell would the Hokage accessorise her pig? Women…
"Shikamaru!"
Crap.
The shadow-nin turned his next step into a lazy turnabout, folding one arm back to rub the tension from his nape as Asuma approached, a thin stream of smoke trailing up from the cigarette dangling from his lips.
Ah, his cigarettes.
"Don't be mad, I didn't forget. I just got kidnapped half-way…" Shikamaru explained, reaching into his flak jacket to extract the fresh packet of cigarettes he'd bought to replace the one he'd opened.
He tossed it over to Asuma, who caught the packet with one hand, his deep bronze eyes flicking over the brand automatically.
"Kidnapped, huh?" Asuma smirked and saluted Shikamaru with the packet before slipping the cigarettes away. "Not why I called you, but it saves me asking you later."
"What's up?" Shikamaru let his eyes shutter to a half-interested expression, trying to ignore the pig glaring up at him.
Asuma arched a brow, a wry smile curving his lips in a way that would have made Shikamaru nervous if he wasn't used to it.
"Ino said you slept through most of yesterday," Asuma said, plucking the cigarette from his lips so he could exhale a thin plume. "That true?"
Shikamaru watched the smoke-cloud waft. "I had the day off."
"You also had unfinished analysis reports on the defence system for the village."
Craaaaap…
Shikamaru winced. "Yeah…"
Asuma's eyes narrowed, but not unkindly, in fact, he almost looked concerned – which may have been worse. Shikamaru tried not to look guarded and suffered for a harassed sigh, scratching at the back of his head.
"How dead am I for that?"
"It's okay," Asuma smiled. "I told the Hokage to cut you some slack considering you got called up on that mission."
"Right, that would be the kidnapping."
"You're not a kid anymore, Shikamaru. As for the 'napping' part…well…" Asuma's voice trailed off as lightly as the smoke from his lips.
Shikamaru groaned, slouching against the ramparts. "Man its way too early for a lecture…"
Asuma's lips curved. "Not gonna lecture you, just giving you a head's up."
"Ah crap…why?" Shikamaru suddenly had a good idea as to why the pig was glaring at him.
"The Hokage wants those reports done. Fast."
"Figures…what a drag…"
"You've got something else you need to be doing?" Asuma asked nonchalantly, but Shikamaru could easily detect that the Jōnin was fishing.
He wasn't about to take the bait.
"Yeah, I need to go tell Ino to stop playing mom."
Asuma laughed, scratching at the scruff on his jaw before rolling a shoulder. "Ah, Shikamaru. There's nothing wrong with letting a woman worry about you."
"I really don't think that Kurenai gives you the same violent treatment that Ino gives me." Shikamaru smirked, resisting the urge to snicker at the flustered cough that Asuma spluttered out. "Though I could be wrong…"
Turning beat-red was an interesting look on the Jōnin and Shikamaru watched with dry amusement and obvious satisfaction as Asuma pounded a fist to his chest to keep from choking. Shikamaru knew when to exploit a situation and right now he saw no reason to let the chance slip.
Plus, this was just too amusing.
"Take it easy, Asuma-sensei. Wouldn't wanna damage those pipes…don't women like to be serenaded and all that crap?"
"Serenaded?" Asuma looked mortified at the suggestion. "I don't sing."
"Oh so you're not denying it?" Shikamaru smirked lazily, folding his arms.
Asuma's eyes widened comically. "Denying what?"
"Hey it's okay, I won't say anything."
"There's nothing to say," Asuma countered too quickly, still an interesting shade of crimson.
"Yeah, I'll bet," Shikamaru managed to tease despite appearing jaded.
"Don't you have those reports to do?" Asuma grumbled, trying to cover up his embarrassment and failing miserably.
Shikamaru smirked, swaying from his lean to continue his traipse up to the Hokage residence. He held up a hand in a backward wave. "Later."
Interrogation avoided. Great.
The soft clop of Tsunade's pig trotting beside him drew his focus down to the troublesome animal as he slipped into the mansion.
"Quit stalking me."
This garnered him another flat look from Tonton, until the pig's attention shifted, causing Shikamaru to turn his head just as a frazzled-looking Shizune rounded the corner ahead.
"Tonton! There you are!" the medic-Jōnin puffed, crouching to scoop the pig into the crook of her arm. "And you found Shikamaru too!"
"Found me?" Shikamaru darted his gaze between the animal and Shizune. "You sent the pi—"
The pig squealed.
"Tonton," Shikamaru corrected flatly, "to stalk me?"
Shizune released a flustered sigh. "Tsunade-sama wants those reports."
"Yeah, about that…"
Shizune's dark look cut him off.
"No excuses, Shikamaru! She's got a meeting coming up with the Council elders next week and she needs those plans drawn up, which means your reports need to be ready by tomorrow latest."
Shikamaru sloughed out a sigh, ignoring the vexed glare Shizune shot him. This isn't exactly how he'd hoped the morning would pan-out. If Shizune was in a bad mood, he didn't want to know which vein Tsunade was bursting. Or who's head.
As long as it's not mine.
"Nara Shikamaru!"
As if on cue, the Godaime's voice boomed down the hallway with enough force to knock the fear of God into her victim.
Shit…that would be me.
Shikamaru had a nanosecond to wonder, and not for the first time, whether running like a girl would be less humiliating than screaming like one.
"Where the hell have you been?" Tsunade demanded, her grass-green robe fanning out behind her, lending unnecessary drama to her fury. "You and Hyūga Neji have some explaining to do!"
Shikamaru blanched, barely recovering in time to manufacture what he hoped was a convincing look of confusion.
"Something wrong?" was the unintelligent, unplanned, automatic thing out of his mouth.
Tsunade jolted to a sharp halt near Shizune, who visibly flinched beside the fuming blonde. However, Tsunade's glare was levelled on Shikamaru.
"Don't get smart with me by playing dumb!" The paradox of the statement caused an awkward pause before Tsunade continued. "Why didn't you report in after the mission? It's mandatory, you know that, and from what I understand, you were the only uninjured shinobi."
Wouldn't be the first time that's happened…
Shikamaru cringed inwardly but managed to hold a commendably calm expression.
"That's right."
"You were also heading the backup squad, so it was your role to attend the debriefing."
"I know."
"You know?" Tsunade's voice leapt up several decibels. "So you have no legitimate excuse as to why you failed to report the completion of an 'A' to S-ranked mission to a superior?"
"That's right."
Tsunade's eyes flared with a mix of anger and confusion, as if she'd expected at least an attempt at defence. "Even for a lazy kid like you, I'd have thought you had pride enough to defend yourself."
That would be Neji.
Shikamaru shrugged. "No point in denying it. Too much hassle to lie about something I came here to talk to you about anyway. Also, I didn't say I didn't have a reason...just not an excuse."
A finely winged brow arched upward as Tsunade jammed one hand at her hip, adopting a pose that Shikamaru was familiar with. He'd seen enough women do this to realise what it meant; he was up shit creek and needed to find a paddle fast.
Then Shizune threw him an unexpected lifeline.
"Hey…" She frowned, hefting Tonton in her arms. "Why do you have two headbands?"
Shizune's question jarred Tsunade from her glare and caused Shikamaru to blink in confusion before he followed the women's joint gaze to the hitai-ate tied around his arm, secured beneath the fix of the metal-plate he normally wore.
"It's Neji's."
"Neji's?" the women echoed in tandem.
"Well it's not like I'm feeling extra patriotic today." Shikamaru watched the light bounce off the leaf-emblazoned steel before glancing up at Tsunade, all touches of sarcasm falling away from his face. "That's why I'm here, Tsunade-sama. I need to talk to you about Neji."
The irritation burning in Tsunade's amber-brown eyes cooled into a simmer, leaving her more disconcerted than angry. Her hand dropped away from her hip as she traced her gaze across Shikamaru's face.
"This is your reason over your excuse, I take it." Tsunade sighed. "Sakura told me he refused medical attention."
"Not completely true." Shikamaru inclined his head. "He just didn't want to go to the hospital."
"Are you going to tell me why that is?" Tsunade asked.
"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't prepared to do that."
Tsunade frowned and Shikamaru could only assume that she'd expected him to make this difficult. He blew out another sigh before glancing around the hallway, indicating that he wasn't about to discuss it outside of her office.
An uncertain silence held before Tsunade scoffed, shaking her head.
"You're damned lucky I respect honesty and that mind of yours so much, Nara." Her voice eased off its sharp edge. "Or you'd be in the hot seat right now."
Shikamaru kept his gaze away from her. "Yeah, I know."
He heard her sigh; a soft, lenient sound. She turned towards her office and gestured for Shikamaru to follow. Shizune trailed behind at a respectable distance, joining them only when Shikamaru made no move to indicate her presence wasn't welcome. The fact was he could probably use the additional medical insight.
Shizune closed the doors behind them.
The resounding thud sealed the finality of this decision.
No backing out.
Tsunade moved ahead, leaving Shikamaru to stand a short distance away from her desk, recently replaced after her fist had gone through it. Shikamaru could only hope he wouldn't witness a repeat performance.
"Alright, Shikamaru," Tsunade said. "You've got my attention and my time."
He watched the Hokage prop her hip against the wood, her arms folded as she settled her gaze back on him, amber eyes steady.
He had her absolute attention.
Good. He didn't think he could do this twice.

Brushstrokes of cloud swept gossamer-like in the afternoon sky by the time Shikamaru made it to the Nara woods. The sun filtered through, but the breeze remained crisp and cold, weaving between the trees and rustling the report papers the shadow-nin idly flicked through as he strolled through the familiar grounds.
That woman drives a steep bargain…
He scowled as he skim-read an espionage report that might as well have been a damned thesis. Whoever had written it had purely missed their literary calling, they'd gone so far as to detail 'the rusty, ruddy armour of the village's iron-fitted ramparts, which have weathered the burn of sun, the brunt of blade and the beating of an enemy's kunai rain'…
Sounds like the beating my brain is gonna take reading this…
The instant karma on that thought was an equally detailed report straight after the first.
Ugh…just my damn luck…
Shikamaru never got the chance to finishing his mental abusing of defence strategies before he was forced to employ one.
A kunai shot from the left.
It whistled past his ear, forcing him to spin and duck another.
What the hell!
A third kunai drew sparks off the edge of the Konoha plate-protector he wore on his arm, snagging in the lose knot of Neji's hitai-ate, tearing it free and pinning it with a thud and clank into the closest tree.
Shikamaru remained crouched in the grass; the reports tucked under one arm and a kunai in his free hand as his gaze followed the path the last knife had flown from.
His dark eyes narrowed, then widened.
"Neji?"
The long-haired Jōnin came scything through the blades of grass like a panther, his Byakugan eyes fierce. Shikamaru had to wonder if he shouldn't have expected as much. He'd already told himself he'd probably end up hospitalised at some point with Neji's hands latched around his throat.
Guess the bright side is I won't have to do the stupid reports…that could work…
Even if he'd seriously considered this option of last-resort shirking, the Hyūga's hands didn't wrap around his throat. Instead, Neji brushed straight past, snapped his grip around the kunai lodged into the tree and tugged the headband free.
Shikamaru blinked, staring in shock for a moment before he recovered.
"That was dramatic," he deadpanned.
Neji didn't offer a response and instead secured his 'missing' hitai-ate in fuming silence before turning, snatching up his kunai and cutting back through the grass towards the Nara residence.
Shikamaru stared after the retreating Jōnin.
Then he flopped back onto the grass with a weathered sigh, closing his eyes.
He snapped them open again when something struck him on the forehead, pinging off into the grass. With a puzzled scowl he stretched out his hand and pawed around for the small item, his fingers finally curling around it.
He held it up.
A Shogi piece.
A shadow fell across his prone body.
"If you want to play games, Shikamaru, stick to the Shogi board."
Shikamaru cocked his head against the ground, glancing past the playing piece held between his forefinger and thumb. Neji's silhouette was cast against a backdrop of cloud-streaked blue.
"I already beat you twice," Shikamaru shrugged. "So where's the fun in that?"
"You beat me while I was intoxicated," Neji pointed out, his expression frustratingly unreadable.
Shikamaru turned the Shogi piece over in his fingers. "Sounds like a lame excuse from a sore loser."
Neji bit back a growl. "Get up."
"Thanks, but I'd rather not get pin-cushioned by kunai."
"Then never do that again." Neji's jaw tightened, the edges of his expression cutting sharper.
Shikamaru flicked his dark eyes to the gleam of steel across Neji's brow. "It kept you here, didn't it?"
He watched the Hyūga's face betray a hint of emotion before the defences slammed into place. Like a wall dropping down. Even Neji's voice dropped a notch.
"In this state, where did you honestly think I would go?"
"You tell me, Hyūga." Shikamaru arched a brow, closing his fingers around the Shogi piece hard enough to feel it dig into his palm.
"It's not as if I have a great many options at present," Neji bit back.
"Tell me something I don't know." Shikamaru propped himself up on his elbows, suddenly uncomfortable with the advantage of height that Neji had standing up. "You're not the only one who doesn't have a lot of options, so excuse me for taking your crappy health and your stupid pride into consideration."
They remained in a glaring deadlock for a moment.
Nothing moved but the stir of Neji's hair and the run of the Shogi piece as Shikamaru turned it over along his knuckles.
Neji stared coolly before eventually saying, "I know my own weaknesses better than anyone else ever could, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru frowned, puzzled.
It was a neat evasion, but one that came at a price. Neji left himself open with those words and Shikamaru had to wonder whether it was a test to see whether he'd take the hit.
He didn't.
He fucking wanted to; he had an arsenal of retorts lined up along his tongue. He could have fired them out as quick and cutting as the kunai Neji had let fly.
But he didn't.
For a moment he let the silence hold the weight of what he wouldn't say before he closed his eyes and let the air whistle past his lips.
Dammit.
A rustle of grass alerted him to Neji's movement. Light danced against Shikamaru's closed eyelids, but then a shadow blotted out the play of sun on his face.
"Despite what you believe..." Neji paused, his voice falling quieter. "I appreciate what you did for me."
"You have a funny way of showing your appreciation, Hyūga."
"And you have a manipulative way of showing your concern."
Anger and a very unexpected twinge of hurt exploded violently in Shikamaru's chest - he just about controlled it. Had Neji said those words to him a few hours ago, he'd have smashed his fist into the Hyūga's jaw. A few hours ago, to hear those words would have severely pissed him off. There had been no manipulation in what Neji was referring to.
Man, he's got some fucking nerve...
Shikamaru felt the Shogi piece slicing into his palm.
He forced himself to loosen his fist.
He hadn't premeditated anything about his actions when Neji had suffered those blood-coughing attacks. His reactions had been automatic and instinctive.
Not manipulative.
But given where Shikamaru had just been and what he'd just done, manipulation might not be too far off the mark. But that wasn't completely true either.
Shikamaru slipped his eyes open a little, his dark orbs settling on the opalescent irises gazing down at him.
You're really not the only one with crappy options, Neji…
Shikamaru snorted, brushing his thumb over the Shogi piece. "Troublesome."
To his surprise, he noticed an odd shift in Neji's eyes before the Jōnin looked away. He didn't have time to interpret what it was before the Hyūga spoke again.
"Get up."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and made a show of folding an arm behind his head. "I told you. Don't feel like avoiding sharp objects."
Neji scoffed. "Just your paperwork, it would seem."
Shikamaru groaned at the reminder, his brows furrowing sharply. "Such a pain."
"You know what they say about two minds being better than one."
"Depends on the other mind," Shikamaru muttered dryly, his face still pinched with annoyance before arching with surprise when Neji crouched and tugged the wad of reports away from him. "Hey!"
Neji straightened up, thumbing through the reports. "A good thing then, that it's my mind I'm lending you. Now get up so we can finish these reports and you can get some sleep…I'm not the only one who looks like hell, apparently."
"You're serious?" Shikamaru's mouth pulled into a smirk meant to conceal his surprise.
"Don't sound so surprised."
"I'm gonna sound amused in a minute." Shikamaru levered himself to sit, draping his arms across his raised knees as he looked up, trying to read what was going on behind Neji's eyes. "Why would you bother, anyway?"
Neji frowned and glanced up, as if the answer were obvious; which it probably was, if keeping score had anything to do with it. Shikamaru knew the Hyūga wouldn't want to feel indebted any more than he had to. Once again it seemed like some strange game going on between them, pitting pride against whatever it was that kept pushing Shikamaru into helping this troublesome Hyūga.
Why the hell 'am' I bothering?
Neji looked like he was just about to throw the mental question back in Shikamaru's face - which the Nara hoped he wouldn't. He really didn't think he could answer it.
Crap…
He was the one left open this time.
The question was whether Neji would take the hit.
Why wouldn't he? Here it comes…
It never came.
"One good turn deserves another, Shikamaru."
The shadow-nin's eyes widened a fraction at those words.
Neji's unexpected reply knocked them onto even ground; not completely steady, but not rigged with disaster. It took a moment for Shikamaru to be sure he hadn't imagined it. Neji had forfeited an opportunity to defend his pride. An opportunity that Shikamaru had been pretty sure he'd take.
"If that's how you wanna play it," Shikamaru eventually said. "Fine, I'm not gonna turn down the offer."
Neji hummed in response, his eyes on the reports as he turned to make his way back towards the Nara residence, not offering anything more.
Shikamaru didn't follow right away.
He remained sitting for a moment longer, the seldom seen intensity of his dark eyes shifting with the conflict of a single, troublesome thought.
One that confused and intrigued him…
A stupid, random and wholly unpredictable realisation…which was that not once throughout their tumultuous exchange had Neji called him by his last name.
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Break to Breathe