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What Do You See?	By : Snowway32 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2093 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters there in. No money is made from this

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Finally finished this chapter although I feel it's a bit short. But then again such emotionally taxing chapters leave me just as emotionally drained. Thanks for the reviews I really appreciate them. Things will be getting intense from now on out. Sorry guys but poor Naruto has far too little self esteem to believe that he is loved and deserved to be so this one is angst ridden with his fears, doubts and self hate that has grown for years at the hands of Konoha and violence.

For now though; please enjoy.

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'When I get my hands on Kakashi and Jiraiya I will kill them.' Naruto's mind was hazy with satisfied sleep; his breaths were deep and controlled and he felt extremely comfortable. He shifted closer to the body in front of him; nose nuzzling against a strong chest only to startle when another body moved close to him from behind. Strong arms preventing him from moving a bit too far.

"Dad? What're you on about?" Naruto mumbled sleepily; feeling sated and content. Blue eyes blinked open slightly; focusing on the mop of messy silver hair in front of him. His mind was too hazy with sleep to try and reason what Kakashi's appearance in front of him meant. Naruto leaned back against a strong chest; his mind slow in processing the exact reason why was Jiraiya-sensei holding him like an over grown teddy bear. The heat of two strong bodies surrounded him pleasantly; making him merely blinked owlishly to try and clear the tired glaze from blue eyes. Stifling a yawn loudly before twining his fingers together with Kakashi's.

'You're still so out of it? Not that I'm surprised after such an emotionally draining day and then...' Minato's voice was sarcastic in Naruto's voice. Why was his father being so prickly that morning? He was happy where he was and he really wasn't planning on going anywhere. Why the sudden hostility? Naruto felt as if he had done something wrong...

Erotic images dance before blue eyes and Naruto blushed furiously; his memory of the night before finally falling in place within his consciousness. Had all that really happen? Wait, why didn't he feel so ashamed and disgusted with himself as he knew he should have. Naruto was frowning now; the air around him suddenly felt heavy as if he was slowly losing his confidence in his own emotions. For him to allow himself to feel so much pleasure must have been a sin and now it was suffocating him with immense guilt. Was he even allowed to feel so much pleasure? Especially if he was so tainted.

'No!' His mind screamed at him. He wasn't allowed to; no. He didn't deserve it; no matter the love and affection these two precious people presented him with. Blue eyes glazed over slightly in a film of tears; why did everything feel as if it was a punishment on his life? Did Kami-sama really hate him so much? He shuddered under the onslaught of painful emotions. The white bandages around his wrists looked so pure and inviting. He knew that behind that white strip of cloth would be the wounds of his heart now carved in flesh. Only they weren't severe enough. They would never be enough to quell the immense pain of his emotional scars. Is this why Minato was angry with him? Did his father softly remind him that he would never be a part of this world? Never belong anywhere? Wait, why was he still here in the first place?

Something didn't feel right. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest; tears coming unbidden. Overflowing with remorse, guilt and most of all sorrow that he would never really be a part of love; no matter the words his senseis said. They only saw him for what he was; a reminder of his father, a replacement for the lover that they both had in common...

'Fuck!' Naruto swore loudly in his mind; there was no need to alert the two shinobi of his emotional state. No; he had been enough of a burden for them. With the stealth and graceful movements granted to him by a cunning Kitsune and a genius father Naruto slipped free from Jiraiya's suffocating embrace and uncurled from Kakashi's warm shoulder.

'Naruto; please don't think like that.' The voice was pleading in his mind but Naruto merely gave a bitter chuckle. Slipping on the smaller silk yukata and tying the obi around his waist securely. Rummaging around the room, Naruto grabbed his weapons pouch and tied it around his bare thigh and hooked his scroll pouch on his hip- to the silk obi. The damn yukata was so short - curse Jiraiya and his perverted nature.

Reminding himself that he was no longer needed here. He was now officially embarrassed and utterly ashamed for what he did and what he allowed to happen. Nothing more than intimate touches but the way he had begged and pleaded with Kakashi; had he really sounded like such a whore? It was not only Kakashi but Jiraiya as well. He was the one that had grabbed the older man when he slightly drunk and done something horrifying.

'May I kiss you Jiraiya-sensei?' Naruto had asked his sensei then and now Naruto felt utterly broken. Why had he done something like that? What was he trying to prove? All they saw was his father when they looked at him. Wait did Naruto, actually really exists? No, he didn't. There was no Naruto anymore; only Minato.

'I am really so broken Tou-chan?' Naruto asked as he slipped out of an open window; the skies were once again dark with rain laden clouds and promised a vicious and dark oncoming storm. Lightning already lighted the sky and danced in beautiful patterns.

'I can't answer that question Naruto; only you can.'

~

When Naruto slipped away from Jiraiya's estate with the help of the Flying Thunder God Jutsu, he didn't expect it to be so cold. The wind was freezing against his skin and the silk of the yukata did little to ward away the chill of the crisp autumn winds. Naruto allowed his feet to carry him towards no planned destination; he needed to run and get away from everything that was surrounding him.

The streets of Konoha were being lighted for the dark of the evening; the sun had just sunk in behind the horizon in dark and cloud covered descent. Naruto sneered at the storm; he had left Jiraiya's home less than half an hour ago and hopefully the two shinobi would sleep for much longer. He wanted to be alone; away from his emotions, away from his fears and most all away from the endless stream of expectations that now rested upon his shoulders.

"Naruto? What are doing out here? It's freezing!" Naruto flinched; blue eyes locking with chocolate blue. No matter how hard he tried, Naruto could not fake a smile for his pseudo 'mom'. Naruto turned blue eyes away; he could not understand the concern he saw there. It didn't feel right. Naruto shuddered when a hand pulled him into a strong chest, a scarf was wound around his neck - making warmth settle through him.

"Why are you out here dressed like that? Naruto; you'll catch your death." Naruto nodded numbly; cuddling the long white scarf towards his nose. The scent smelled just like Iruka-sensei. It made Naruto happy for a moment. Only it faded quickly, there was nothing more to do. He finally managed to fake a convincing smile as he leapt back.

"Thanks Iruka-sensei! I'll bring this back to you as soon as I can. Dattebayo!" No matter the comfort that Iruka promised; there was no way Naruto could stop. He had to get away. His stomach rumbled lightly, alerting him to the fact that he had yet to eat something. With a slight detour Naruto made his way towards Ichiraku's only to deviate; it would be too easy for his sensei's to find him there. Besides he wanted something else today. Why did he crave something sweet? So the tea shop it was...

Naruto had no idea that he had left behind a very concerned Iruka, regardless of the reassurance he had given that he would be fine.

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Darkness loomed over the two figures; the shadows seemed to attach themselves to black and red cloaks as they walked. The imposing image they made sent people scattering out of their way and the dark aura surrounding them was enough to instil fear in the hearts of even the strongest of Shinobi. In the harsh howls of the winds the tinkling of several bells could be heard.

"It must be nice to return to your home again?" Said the larger figure, a sword wrapped in bandages balancing across a strong back and blue skin peeked out from beneath the large and menacing cloak.

"Hn." Said his partner, traditional hat tilting upwards to reveal dark red eyes that swirled with a well accomplished Sharingan. His deep voice scattered to the winds as they made their way towards the centre of Konoha. Two S-class missing nin; one from Konoha's most revered clans. An Uchiha who had massacred his entire family and only left his little brother behind. Some would say he was cold and some would say he was a sadistic monster; yet no one lived long enough to make the right assumption.

"Where are we going?" The other voice asked; almost with something akin to childish glee.

"Tea." Itachi said simply; hoping to catch a glimpse of the brother he had left behind before he stole away the Kitsune container. Or the Yondaime's Legacy as little Naruto was better known as...

~

Naruto stared at the cup of tea in his hands; watching with fascination as ripples danced across the steaming liquid. The heat from the liquid was seeping into his hands and subsequently warming his entire body; hugging the warm scarf closer to himself Naruto waited patiently for his sweet dango. Mouth watering at the hunger that settled over his stomach. Naruto gave a pained smile at the waitress who seemed to scurry out of his way as soon as she could.

"Some things will never change." Naruto said to himself softly; shoulders slumping a bit. Luckily his emotions had stilled for a bit; making it easier to cloak his presence completely. He smirked to himself; daring his sensei's to find him now. Would they notice if he just disappeared without a word? He chuckled, amusing himself with strange thoughts. Of course they would notice; who wouldn't rejoice the disappearance of the hated sin of their precious Yondaime. If only they knew that Naruto was the Yondaime as he was himself and their actions only caused his hate to build for Konoha. If Minato was fuelling it or Kyuubi Naruto would never know. All he was aware of was the hated stares that were always directed at him was beginning to get tiring. He didn't want to be looked at like that again; not when he was so vulnerable that not even his most precious sensei's could fix at all.

"I'm going to unlock that door, Papa." Naruto said sadly; lips curling around the rim of his cup. The warm liquid was sweet and bitter at the same time. It reminded him of the happy memory of the night before. Those bittersweet moments spent in the arms of those he loved the most but could never claim for himself.

'Naruto.' Minato's voice sounded as tired and wrecked as his own; hoarse with pain and sorrow. Naruto smiled sadly; nibbling at his dango. If it was fate that had bound them together in one soul; why were they still separated then? Naruto cringed as images of a life not his own flashed before his eyes; feeling everything Minato had ever felt.

'Are you sure that this is what you want Naruto?' Naruto snorted softly. Of course it was what he wanted; then he didn't have to feel so guilty about deceiving himself into believing that he was Naruto. He could just become Minato now; a whole new start, a whole new identity. As far as he was concerned Naruto had ceased to exist the day he had been born into this accursed world.

Naruto frowned as he felt a brush of chakra tease across his skin. It was familiar, warm, cold, hate and raw power.

"Fugaku?" Naruto and Minato said at the same time. Blue eyes dulling in confusion at the man that just rudely slid into the open seat in front of him.

'Impossible, he's dead.' Naruto agreed wholeheartedly with that and the man in front of him was definitely much younger than Fugaku would have been now. Naruto turned blue eyes up reluctantly; skimming over the black and red cloak to those delicately painted black nails. In the corner of his eyes, sliding in next to him was a man with blue skin and a very large weapon on his back. Somehow Naruto knew this would no longer be a quiet night tainted in his pain but rather the danger in the atmosphere was sending warning signals through his mind.

"I'd like to know how you know my father's name and know his features enough to mistake the two of us." Naruto looked up; depthless black eyes filled with malice pinned him with a dark glower. Naruto looked away; those eyes were too cold. He didn't need to answer those questions and they didn't need to know the instances of his soul either. He scowled, not even feeling fear despite the dark and deadly aura that surrounded the two men.

"Itachi then," Naruto said with a small smirk. "I was wondering when you'd finally come for Sasuke. Don't think that I'll let you have him though." Naruto said his own voice dropping to a deadly low whisper. He raised the last piece of his dango to his lips; savouring the taste. When he put the skewer down he raised his chakra to flare dangerously. Pricing his finger on the skewer; he locked eyes with two spinning Sharingan. With the drop of his blood hitting the surface of the table and a touch if his chakra; black marking spread around the table where he and his companions were seated. Intricate black patterns created a complex and high level seal.

"I want to know your purposes here; Itachi-kun. You see this little seal is a little marvel that Papa invented. I can just transport myself away from here before it activates and leave the two of you to be sealed for eternity in your nightmares. I will do anything to protect those close to me and Sasuke is no exception." Naruto warned softly. Blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"Relax Naruto-kun. We're not here for Sasuke. In fact we're looking for the Yondaime's Legacy." Naruto stilled; Minato was quiet and pensive just as Naruto. If they were here for him then it meant they were looking for only one thing; the power of Kyuubi. With a sigh Naruto let his technique slip; the dark marking retracting back into his finger before disappearing completely.

"I see." Naruto said softly. Suddenly fighting with the hem of his yukata; he knew the dangers of following these two. He knew by the end of this journey he'd be dead. The thing that was frightening him was that he didn't rebel against the idea.

"Fine; I'll go without a fight. But first allow me to say my goodbyes." Naruto said softly; wrapping Iruka's scarf around him neck.

"You'll come willingly?" A deeper voice asked and Naruto turned his attention to the blue skinned man.

"I said I will; give me two hours. I need to pack as well." Naruto said softly. Leaving the money for his snack and tea; he didn't wait for his two escorts, merely flickering away in a yellow flash. So much to do, so many goodbyes and yet Naruto doubted that he would ever have the courage to face Jiraiya and Kakashi again.

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Itachi was completely surprised by the reserved reaction that Naruto had shown to the danger of his own life. The resignation in those shimmering blue eyes spoke volumes of pain and sorrow; was it possible for one person to show so much and yet hide so much at the same time? How could such a young shinobi show so much power by only a single drop of blood and a spike in chakra? His father had always said the Yondaime was the only shinobi powerful enough to outsmart an Uchiha and have enough power to withstand the Sharingan with mere determination.

Was that the power of the Namikaze clan? He was going to have to look into the records and steal a few forbidden scrolls; something about the hopelessness in Naruto reminded him of his brother Sasuke. A brother he loved very much and would hand the world if he could. He sighed instructing Kisame to follow Naruto's movements but not interfere with him and his tasks.

"You trust him to come without a fight?" Kisame asked and Itachi gave a nod.

"I've seen many feelings and I've seen all kinds of power but what I saw within Naruto was something that I have never seen before. It is almost unreal the power he holds and yet when his own life is in danger he blows it away; he will only put others before himself. I don't know where the compassion comes from but it must have to do with his father."

"His father?" Itachi nodded before moving forward again; heading to the Hokage's personal library.

"Someday I will have to tell you the story of the Yondaime-Hokage. But not today; we first need to get out of here without attracting too much attention." Kisame nodded and took off after the blonde shinobi.

~In Naruto's Mindscape~

'Are you sure you want to do this Naruto?' Naruto's father inquired as he observed blue eyes staring straight at him. He reached forward; fingers tracing over whisker like marks. The determination he saw in those eyes were breathtakingly beautiful. It reminded him so much of himself. He just wished that Jiraiya and Kakashi had paid more attention to Naruto's emotions than trying to fix his fears; if they had kept their desires to themselves then this would not be happening.

'Dad? You know I love you right and I want to be a part of you; why not complete the process?' Naruto asked innocently as he kneeled before his father, head resting on Minato's white Hokage cloak as he basked in Minato's presence. He had never before been surer of himself.

'Those two men; they are dangerous and by what Jiraiya had told me once they belong to a very dangerous S-ranked criminal organization. I can't put Jiraiya and Kakashi in so much danger. I'd rather leave than have to watch them give their lives to protect me." Naruto sighed; giving Minato a chaste kiss as he stood up.

"I'll fight when I have to, I'll fight when I need to protect those around me but when I put them in danger I surrender for them and only them." Naruto said out loud to himself as he came back to reality. Two neat scrolls laying next to each other; one for Jiraiya, one for Kakashi and lastly small letter for Iruka. He gripped his father's cloak and wound it around his shoulders, adjusting his turtleneck shirt, jounin vest and clipping on his weapons pouch. Tying his hitai-ate across his forehead and summoning two messenger frogs.

"Hey there; I'm sorry for the bother but could you please deliver these? This one's for Hatake Kakashi," Naruto gave the green and blue frog the dark red scroll. Watching with satisfaction as a small puff of smoke announced that the frog had gone on his mission. To the other frog he handed a green scroll.

"Jiraiya-sama, please. You should know who he is." Naruto said with a small wink before adjusting his backpack across his shoulders and collecting the several Flying Thunder God Kunai that he had finished making and slipping them into his kunai pouch. With a last look around at his apartment Naruto smiled sadly.

'It's Jiraiya and Kakashi.' Naruto reminded himself; the door shutting behind him with a click of finality. He had one happy memory spent in the arms of his two beloveds and that would last him a lifetime; regardless of th pain and emotion he knew was waiting for him. Even when he had given them what they deserved; hopefully they would understand the pain that made his heartbeat falter and weaken.

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Kakashi woke to the feeling of dread and fear; a cold sweat plastered over his skin and pain lancing through his heart. Something was horribly wrong; mismatched eyes flashed around the room in search of blonde hair and blue eyes but he found nothing. His eyes rested on Jiraiya though; who was still fast asleep. white hair haphazardly spread around him.

"Jiraiya-sama?" Kakashi cautioned as he stood up; fingers curling around his kunai as he pulled a shirt over his bare torso. Naruto should have been here. Kakashi was frantically stretching his senses outwards to try and find Naruto but there was no sign of the warm and familiar chakra. None.

"Jiraiya!" Kakashi yelled; getting frantic now. Maybe they had both pushed things too far the night before; Naruto may not have been ready for something like that? Could he have snapped?

"W-what?" A sleepy voice asked and Kakashi scowled at the sleepy Sannin.

"Naruto's not here. I can't sense his chakra."

"Fuck." Kakashi agreed; that one word just about summed it up completely. Just as they were about to head out towards the outskirts of Konoha; two puffs of smoke alerted them to the presence of two summons.

"Kakashi-sama?" One messenger frog said and Kakashi nodded; reaching out a hand to take the average sized scroll. Fingers trembling with the foreboding that settled in his stomach. Something felt wrong, like this would turn his world upside down. Black eyes locked with his single visible eye; both knew what they were thinking.

"From who was these sent?" Jiraiya's stern voice dragged Kakashi from his reverie; stopping the dissent of his finger to crack the intricate seal.

"Yondaime-sama." Silence descended completely.

~

At the edge of Konoha sorrow filled blue eyes looked back at the place he had grown up in. Somewhere deep down knowing that what he was doing was wrong but he saw no other option; there was nothing left there anymore if his beloveds were in trouble. Not if he always put them in grave danger just for his sake. No, now he took fate in his own hand and would face it head on.

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Thanks for reading and please leave me a review or a rating; I'll appreciate it a lot if you do.

That's it for now,

Ja Na

SnowShadowPass
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