Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Hopelessly	By : MisatosPenPen Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Sasuke Views: 3349 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
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- 12
Holy shit! The most reviews ever!!!!!

Cynaga: That has to be one of the greatest reviews ever: two words expressing a mixture of sympathetic sadness and thorough enjoyment. ^_^

Ikke: Yeah, it bothered me that Kakashi left his emotional fragile student in that tree. I think Sasuke might feel slightly abandoned in the manga too. I strive to inspire fantasies and nosebleeds. Yeah, try not to involve the snake, done that. Now that’s creepy.

Disembodiedvoiceofthedying: Don’t think I didn’t notice your absence. Glad to have you back! I’ve got no beta and things are always getting past me. Then again, the incomplete sentences are on purpose. I enjoy this story a lot. I don’t usually write rape, so the rape in this one is a little hesitant. I’ll be more gung ho on the rape in a supplement story I’m planning which will be the all out Orochimaru/Sasuke rape. The student overpowering the teacher is something that inspired me for this story.

Misaki: This has got to be my favorite review of all time! The longest and greatest. I had to use an internet translator though, but that awesome! Thank you so much! So very true, Kishimoto got away with sending children sort of through a lack of staff, but Sasuke was far too important as the last Uchiha (and he was running off to their worst enemy) that Tsunade should have sent ANBU after him, not just some genin. I love the cats and I think they’re a wonderful plot device. I’d say Kakashi was the first to show Sasuke love, though I don’t think he was as fatherly as he should have been. Iruka didn’t seem to give anyone any affection until he started showing it to Naruto, so I’d say Kakashi was the first after Sasuke’s family died. Orochimaru was just creepy and (in my story) just right out raped him. Orochimaru did show some affection, but it was all lustful. But being that Kakashi abandoned him, the ‘love’ Orochimaru showed him was all he had. Naruto (in this story and in the manga) just saw him as a brother, seeing Sasuke the way Sasuke saw Itachi as a child and now that he knows the truth. Naruto loves him, but it’s non-sexual. We get to Suigetsu a little in this chapter, but we’ll see what happened with him eventually. Sasuke’s blind to Gaara’s kinship with him. Gaara is saddened and disappointed, but has given up on him. Everyone has. Except for Kakashi, but he doesn’t seek to change him. If Neko-baa and Tamaki had been there to comfort Sasuke when he was just orphaned, I don’t think he would have turned out as he did. I think they tried, but he shut them and the cats out, but they told him they would always be there and be loyal. Kurohoshi is the cat closest to him, probably the creature closest to him besides Kakashi. I’ll get into that a little later in the story. I loved this review, I loved seeing how much someone enjoys my work and that you just didn’t enjoy the story or the sex, but that it made you think about the series and deeper in this story. I love that! I love being able to discuss these things too. Thank you so much, you can ramble all you want and in any language (that Google can translate) all you want! *kisses*

By the way, this is a hell of a long chapter with a fair amount of sex. That’s not an apology, it’s a warning.

----------

Kakashi was beginning to believe Sasuke hadn’t been avoided him out of anger but out of embarrassment for showing that kind of weakness. Then again, right now it could be because Kakashi confessed he loved him. They weren’t even sparring. No sex, no talking, nothing. Kakashi believed Sasuke when he said that he hadn’t purposely brainwashed him, but if he had, it would have been a masterstroke: he now had Kakashi’s complete devotion while being able to torture him without doing anything at all.

Sasuke did come to bed almost every night, but kept his distance from his bedfellow. That was the torture. The pain in Kakashi’s chest was maddening. He just wanted to be able to touch Sasuke even if Sasuke didn’t love him. So close, but so far away. After four nights of not being able to sleep due to longing and worrying about whether Sasuke might throw him away now, Kakashi slipped out of bed and dressed, careful not to wake Sasuke.

He went to the laundry room where all the extra bedding was stored. The fortress was filled with empty rooms, but they were empty, cold rooms. Kakashi threw in a load of laundry and sat against the wall, leaning his head on the churning washer, bundled up under spare blankets. He could have used his bedroll, but he’d always hated the things; they weren’t made to be comfortable, they were made to be practical; too much comfort on a mission and you wouldn’t wake up as quickly when danger approached; night ambushes were almost welcome as they got them out of the damn things.

Kakashi dosed until the laundry was done, then transferred it to the dryer and relished the heat it created.

He awoke to find the light still on and the machines silent. He felt good despite the position except for a slight crick in his neck. He stretched. He stopped mid-yawn when his eye caught something on the floor near him. A tray holding a cold breakfast. Sasuke had been here. Kakashi guessed Sasuke could be sweet sometimes.

-----

They still didn’t talk, but that small gesture made the silence a bit easier: it was less tense now. Sasuke seemed to forgive him, at least a little. Kakashi continued to work in the cisterns with Tamaki and Sasuke continued to disappear to work on his experiments.

Kakashi did notice a few new things around and a larger selection of food both in the fortress kitchen and in Tamaki’s. Sasuke had no doubt taken advantage of his ability to demand goods from the villages to get a few things he wanted for himself and those extra things Kakashi brought back from his little scavenger hunt were no doubt traded either for things Sasuke wanted or sold for cash. The cats were also high on catnip more often. At least Sasuke doted on them a little.

Another week and everything was traded. Sasuke went off to his laboratory as much like a little kid at Christmas as the Uchiha could ever look and stayed there for several hours.

Kakashi had discovered and raided Sasuke’s library. He had books and scrolls from Orochimaru’s collection as well as Madara’s; a few he’d obvious marked and used to create the seal on Kakashi’s arm. With an idea that it might better help him figure out what Sasuke was up to, Kakashi’d taken to reading these books on jutsu and chemistry and whatnot. He hadn’t discovered a bloody thing, but he was learning something, so he brought a few back to their bedroom to read now that he couldn’t get any enjoyment from his precious Icha Icha books—his own sex life was far more arousing and more dramatic than anything Jiraiya could imagine. He left the overhead light on its dimmest level and used the bedside lamp to read.

Sasuke showed up that night looking worn and tired, but also relieved; he was relaxed enough to let his exhaustion show. He collapsed onto the bed next to where Kakashi was reading, throwing his arms over his head.

“Everything is ready; I can begin in the morning,” he muttered.

“Begin what?”

Sasuke, of course, didn’t answer that. “You won’t see me very often for a while.”

Kakashi actually laughed. “I hardly see you at all as it is.”

Sasuke smiled softly. “You’ll see me even less.” He sank a little deeper in the mattress, his spine and joints cracking as he stretched a little. Kakashi couldn’t help but think he looked like a contented cat. Sasuke’s head lulled to the side so that he was looking at Kakashi with one eye over his arm, a soft look on his face.

“I want to have sex, but I’m too tired to take the lead,” Sasuke said.

Kakashi’s eye widened. Sasuke’s tone was so light that Kakashi felt comfortable enough to object. “I’ve never been in that position before and I don’t think my thighs are up to it.”

It was Sasuke’s turn to laugh. “You think I meant I wanted you to ride me? That’s a good idea—an excellent one, in fact—but it’s not what I meant. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately because of you. I want you to take me. I used to love it and I suspect that I’ll enjoy it far more with you than I did with that damn snake.”

Kakashi thought he’d have a heart attack. Sasuke wanted him to fuck him?! Kakashi had thought about it certainly—many times in fact—but faced with the possibility of actually doing it, he didn’t know which end was up. And that last part . . .

“You want me to . . .” He couldn’t even say it.

“I want you. To. Fuck. Me.” Sasuke started laughing. “I’ve never seen you look so scared.” The laugh was a bit seductive. Sasuke sat up and took off his shirt. “You’ve made me crave it again and I expect you to do something about it.” He lay back down and shimmied off his pants and boxers together. “It’s not like you don’t know what to do.”

As unsure as Kakashi was about this, he wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass. He took off his shirt. Sasuke smirked and stretched to grab the lube that was never far away. Kakashi turned out the bedside light. Once Kakashi was nude, Sasuke presented the tube to him. Kakashi moved down to a comfortable position to prepare Sasuke.

“How long has it been for you?” Kakashi asked.

“Two years. Three. I’ve lost track of time. Since before Orochimaru’s death. Kabuto was the last. The bastard.”

Kakashi felt a small spark of anger blossom in his chest. He did not want to think of Orochimaru or Kabuto violating Sasuke.

Sasuke shut his eyes and relaxed as Kakashi’s fingers penetrated him. Kakashi watched Sasuke’s face. It was clear that Sasuke was either enjoying being fingered or was anticipating being fucked for the first time in years; his cock was half hard already and the look on his face was somewhere near bliss. Kakashi was nervous as hell, but the fact Sasuke wanted it so bad was a hell of a turn on. As much as he loved watching Sasuke’s face, he leaned in to suck Sasuke’s cock as he stretched him.

Even with three fingers inside the experienced young man, Kakashi didn’t move to mount him. He wanted Sasuke so bad, but it felt just as awkward as the first time he had sex with Sakura. Sasuke seemed to be enjoying the fingering anyway.

“Get on with it.” Though getting impatient.

Kakashi extracted his fingers and knelt between Sasuke’s spread thighs. Kakashi didn’t notice until now how long Sasuke’s thighs were. He was looking everywhere but at Sasuke’s face. Sasuke rolled his hips up so Kakashi had better access. Kakashi lubed up while looking at Sasuke’s toned chest. He leaned on a hand next to Sasuke’s waist and guided his cock to Sasuke’s entrance. As much as he wanted Sasuke, he didn’t want to do this.

Damn, he was hotter and tighter than Sakura. It was also more work pressing through that tight muscle. Fuck, it felt good, though a bit too tight. Intense pain blossomed in Sasuke’s ass, but as intense as it was, it was over quickly. Sasuke didn’t let the pain penetrate his stoic expression, but he let the ensuing pleasure show. It seemed like an eternity for Kakashi’s nine and half inches to fill Sasuke. Sasuke was sighing with pleasure. Kakashi stopped once he felt his balls touch Sasuke’s ass cheeks.

“Feels so good,” Sasuke sighed as the ghost of the pain faded.

Kakashi looked up at him and couldn’t help but love the sight Sasuke presented. But it killed him that Orochimaru and Kabuto had seen this first. He admitted it: he was jealous.

“Rape me, Kakashi,” Sasuke begged after a few seconds of Kakashi’s lack of motion.

Rape? His first time had been rape and he’d pretty much raped Kakashi. It made a strange sort of sense.

“Never,” Kakashi breathed. Sasuke’s eyes opened to slits. “I love you too much.”

Sasuke looked . . . disarmed. Kakashi didn’t give him time to react further; rather, he started moving slowly in and out of Sasuke’s body. Sasuke loosened up and felt even better. Sasuke whined and lifted his hips to meet Kakashi’s, trying to keep them high to force Kakashi in deeper. As Sasuke’s smooth, tight walls slid around his cock, Kakashi got lost and forgot his nervousness and misgivings and practically did the downward dog as he pounded into Sasuke’s lithe body. Sasuke was heaven. Sasuke lost it with a low cry, dragging Kakashi with him.

Kakashi relaxed his body, though it still resembled a yoga pose. He rested his forehead on Sasuke’s chest as they both panted and relished the afterglow, endorphins flooding their blood streams. Kakashi didn’t perceive the smells of sex permeating the air around them, just the pounding of his heart and the rush each heartbeat sent through his body. Even his ears were numb.

Kakashi looked up at Sasuke’s face: he was beautiful and, for once, accessible, completely off guard. Kakashi repositioned his knees outside of Sasuke’s thighs and moved up to kiss him. It was his first time initiating a kiss with Sasuke and Sasuke’s lips were soft and yielding. Kakashi never kissed anyone so passionately before. All his love for Sasuke came out as he plundered his mouth. Sasuke kissed back lazily. Kakashi threaded the fingers of one hand in Sasuke’s hair, his other hand blindly feeling for any of that smooth flesh it could find, roaming all over the left side of Sasuke’s pale body Kakashi could reach.

As soon as he got his full erection back, Kakashi was back inside the wanton Uchiha. This time it was far more like love making with Kakashi touching him and trying to pull him closer. Sasuke yanked Kakashi’s hair and scratched his back, leaving burning welts. Sasuke couldn’t breathe anymore and pulled Kakashi’s head away. Kakashi decided to switch to Sasuke’s neck.

“Fuck, yeah,” Sasuke sighed as Kakashi sucked and bit his sensitive neck.

Sasuke rocked up and down, trying to increase Kakashi’s pace. Kakashi put his arms around Sasuke’s body and thrust into him hard. Sasuke found a rhythm so that he was rocking down into Kakashi’s thrust, but it was interfering with Kakashi’s nibbling on his neck so Kakashi held him tighter and dug his teeth in deeper to Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke got the message and just moved his hips.

“Kakashi,” Sasuke sighed. Kakashi groaned into Sasuke’s neck.

For once, Kakashi felt completely in control. He purposely slowed down to make this last longer. Sasuke whined in protest, but he didn’t do anything to force Kakashi to do anything. Kakashi relished Sasuke’s submission to him. He never wanted this to end; he had Sasuke, even for just this short time. All thoughts about what Sasuke had become was gone and just Sasuke filled his mind and senses.

It couldn’t last. Sasuke was close enough that he was desperate for release. He started fighting Kakashi’s moderate pace and was rocking again, forcing Kakashi to stop nursing on his neck. Kakashi brought up his head and looked down at Sasuke’s face. He wanted to keep looking at him, but he shut his eyes and let himself just feel the pleasure of Sasuke’s tight body trying to milk him.

This time Kakashi cam first. Sasuke felt the throbbing of Kakashi’s cock releasing within him and just the idea of being filled helped him cum between their bodies. Sasuke’s body relaxed and uncoiled from around Kakashi’s except for a hand that grabbed Kakashi’s hair to pull him closer and prevent him from moving away. Kakashi let himself be led and rested his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. He lay on Sasuke’s body, feeling the cum sandwiched between them. Sasuke absently combed Kakashi’s hair; the hypnotic action eased them both to sleep.

-----

During the night, Kakashi had turned onto his back and Sasuke turned over as well to curl up next to him to use Kakashi’s chest as a pillow. Kakashi woke up without feeling in his arm with Sasuke’s weight on it. He couldn’t enjoy the moment with his arm feeling absolutely dead. He rolled further over to pull his arm gently from under Sasuke, not wanting to wake him. Sasuke whined and rolled away from Kakashi, but didn’t wake up. Kakashi raised his arm and fisted his hand to bring life back to it and suffered through the pins and needles as fresh blood coursed through his arm.

Once the pain of the feeling returning to his arm subsided enough, Kakashi reviewed the night before and couldn’t believe that it had happened. The light was still on, dimmed to its lowest level. Kakashi sat up and felt the dried cum on his stomach. He rested his elbow on a raised knee and covered his lower face with his hand in a purely habitual gesture. He felt the same he had after he’d slept with Sakura for the first time: what did this mean for their relationship? But this time he wasn’t as worried: sleeping with Sakura could have ended any relationship between them, but with Sasuke . . . Kakashi hoped it meant a better relationship.

He couldn’t help smiling at the memory of Sasuke submitting to him, letting him dictate everything that second time, and that show of affection as they fell asleep. He had no reason to get up except to wash up, so Kakashi lay back down.

Sasuke groaned as he woke. He shifted onto his back and glared at the dimmed light in the center of the ceiling. He growled and turned his head to the side and saw Kakashi looking at him.

Kakashi wanted to thank Sasuke for last night, but it didn’t feel right to just say ‘thank you’ for letting him fuck him twice. Rather Kakashi asked, “How are you feeling?” knowing that Sasuke hadn’t been fucked in years and knowing what it must have felt like.

Sasuke’s expression smoothed. “Sore. I haven’t been this sore in a very long time. It actually feels good.”

“I wish Orochimaru and Kabuto were still alive so I could kill them for what they did to you.”

“You want someone other than yourself to blame.”

“You’re right. But I also want to rip his dick off for what he did. I love you.”

Sasuke’s sleepy eyes looked grieved. “I can’t feel like that anymore. I can’t . . .” he wouldn’t say the word.

“It doesn’t matter. I love you.”

“Don’t.”

“Too late.”

“I won’t. Look what love did to me; I won’t do it again.”

“Just don’t throw me away; don’t send me back to Konoha.”

Sasuke gave a mirthless chuckle and looked up at the ceiling. “I have a new hammer over your head then.” He sighed. “I have no intention of throwing you away. You’re the only one I trust.”

“What about Tamaki and ‘Neko-baa?’”

“Only man then. I also trust the cats and my hawks. They’re all sworn to me though.”

“I thought about killing you so many times, but I just couldn’t do it. Sure you should trust me?”

“You didn’t do it,” he said matter-of-factly. He turned onto his side and curled up next to Kakashi. Kakashi made sure his arm was under Sasuke’s head and not his chest this time. “I was waiting for you to do it.”

Kakashi was reassured by Sasuke’s admission that he wouldn’t send him away, but he was still depressed. He hated Orochimaru more than ever. He also didn’t like that last part.

“I love you. I just wish . . .”

“That I loved you back?”

“That we were back in Konoha without our sins hanging over us. You could love me then and I’d feel worthy of it.”

Sasuke lay there for a few minutes before he got up. “Fend for yourself today, I won’t be around.”

“I’ll help if you let me.”

“No. It’s better if you don’t know about it.” Sasuke wasn’t doing anything to subdue Kakashi’s curiosity.

-----

Sasuke wasn’t kidding; Kakashi would only see Sasuke every two or three days. They had sex a few times; Kakashi usually the one on his back, but not exclusively anymore.

After two weeks, Sasuke finally offered Kakashi a way out of his boredom.

“Bored?” Sasuke asked as he came over to the bed where Kakashi was reading.

“Yeah.”

“Here,” Sasuke gave him a flimsy clothing box. “I had it made in Konoha. They know it’s for you, so it should be safe. I still checked it. An agent of mine needs to look more appropriate.”

Kakashi sat up from his lounging position and opened it to find a shinobi outfit of pure black like the one Sasuke had ordered for himself and had only worn a few times that Kakashi was aware of. Underneath the shinobi uniform was a kodachi like the one he used when he was in ANBU. “Black is far more appropriate for a shinobi, don’t you think?” Sasuke said.

“Your agent?”

“Want to go out on missions again?”

“What kind of missions?”

“The smaller nations ask me for favors. They don’t hate me the way the Kage and their villages do. They have small armies and know they’re vulnerable. They understand that I’m preventing a war. I told them I won’t protect them forever; all their shinobi are readying to defend their nations. They ask me for help so they can concentrate on defense. I blow them off quite a bit; I don’t have time for their problems, but sometimes I help; no one attacks what’s mine. Since you have nothing to do, you can deal with their smaller problems; I’ll deal with any attacks. If a situation ends up being too much, you can always summon yourself to me, but only in emergencies. If you want me to bring you home, I’ll check on you with the seal. Just say you want to come home when you feel it burning and I’ll bring you home. You can stay out there as long as you want; I can always reel you in when I want you. We’re not seeing each other much now anyway.”

“I’ll do it. One of the things I hated the most about being Hokage was that I couldn’t go on missions anymore.”

Sasuke nodded. “First, I want your loyalty. Do you forsake Konoha? Will you become like me, a man with no home, no village, no nation? I will never ask you to attack Konoha or kill a Konoha shinobi unless it’s in my defense. Do you forsake Konoha and pledge your loyalty to me?”

Kakashi paused. Could he forsake every oath he’d ever given? The village he was born in and defended all his life? The village he had sworn to defend and serve? The village that had killed his father and friends and sensei? The village that had destroyed Sasuke’s life? What about that one condition? Could he attack Gai or Genma or Tenzou or Sakura or Naruto if they attacked Sasuke? Would he defend Sasuke? Letting him die would probably hurt more than killing any one of them in his defense, but he could never forgive himself. Sasuke didn’t need defending anyway. Forsake Konoha? He could never go home anyway. He couldn’t face any of them again, couldn’t live there again.

“I do.” It felt like a part of himself died, like something left him with that breath. It was over; he’d sold his soul to Sasuke. He really would do practically anything for him.

Sasuke just blinked, but Kakashi was sure he was smirking inwardly. “My advice is stay out of the Five Great Nations unless you need to cross the border. No espionage. Deal with bandits, missing-nins, counter-espionage, guard duty . . . anything but a move against other nations. Hide your identity as much as possible except from the village heads. Be sure to collect payment. Use it as you will.”

Sasuke turned away to gather his own weapons since Kakashi hadn’t brought many with him. Kakashi sighed silently. What did it matter? So he abandoned Konoha—willingly this time. Even though he always knew about the dirty backroom dealings of Konoha, finding out about Itachi had really shattered his faith in his home.

If Sasuke was gathering weapons, he must mean for him to leave now. Kakashi had already showered so he changed into his new black uniform. It fit perfectly. That damn Sharingan. The gear felt excellent, not just well fitted, but made from comfortable fabric. If he’d known how good that man was at making combat gear, he would have thrown out his blue outfit and olive green vest a long time ago. Really, a red swirling target right over his spine? Then again, thinking about how Sasuke normally dressed, especially before the war . . . But Sasuke was arrogant enough to believe he could wear white on a battlefield and have nothing to fear—not even stains.

“What are you smirking at?” Sasuke asked.

Kakashi didn’t realized that thought had made it to the surface. “Just how stupid the Konoha uniform really is. You’re right, we should be wearing black.”

“And not a swirling red target on your back.”

“My thought exactly.”

Sasuke smirked. “I could slap a red and white Uchiha fan on your back which would be worse.”

“I just swore loyalty to you, you could.”

Sasuke’s smirk almost grew into a malicious smile. “It’s stitched in black on your back. No one will see it unless they’re staring at your back for a while. Tamaki added it.” Sasuke laid out his supply of kunai and shuriken on the table next to his orders. “You’re going to the Land of Rivers. Do you want me to transport you there, or you want to travel?”

“Deposit me at the border. I want to gage the ground and the people.”

Sasuke nodded and once Kakashi was packed, he sent Kakashi out.

-----

As Sasuke’s emissary, Kakashi was surprised at the reaction he got in these smaller nations. His presence and help was greatly appreciated. These foreign shinobi weren’t gushing with admiration for Sasuke, but they were respectful and seemed genuinely appreciative of Sasuke and Kakashi. They had not joined forces with the Five Great Shinobi Nations against Madara and very few of their shinobi were killed by Sasuke. Sasuke hadn’t harmed them at all, though they resented his authority at first, then they realized if they didn’t have Sasuke’s protection, the Five Nations would have conquered them. And Kakashi was known to them. He had a good reputation in every nation as former Hokage and generally as a shinobi.

He enjoyed being on missions again. Sasuke had given him his freedom: he could eat what he liked, go where he liked, buy anything he wanted. Working again was a vacation; a much needed vacation. But he gained his freedom by swearing loyalty to him.

Kakashi came home every week, sometimes walking, sometimes asking Sasuke to bring him back. He was refreshed by the work and traveling through the wilderness. Being around other people and seeing a few places he hadn’t been to before was also very welcome. But he came home to a dark, cold, unchanging place with a pale, dour, overworked lover.

Sasuke noticed the change in Kakashi, but it wasn’t unwelcome. Sasuke submitted to him more now. They both felt Kakashi’s virile energy return and Sasuke enjoyed the hell out of it. Kakashi had been stagnating since the war ended. The wolf needed to range.

Tonight, after nine days of not seeing Sasuke, Kakashi maneuvered Sasuke onto his hands and knees on the bed and covered his body with his own. He pushed into him, eliciting a groan from the body beneath him. Kakashi’s body was larger than Sasuke’s and holding the smaller body against him like this ignited an instinctive desire to protect him. He growled and kissed Sasuke’s neck.

“I love you.”

Sasuke only moaned in response. For his part, he liked the feeling of Kakashi’s heavy body over him. Kakashi felt up Sasuke’s chest with one hand and slowly jacked him with the other. Sasuke arched up into Kakashi. He grabbed Kakashi’s hand from his chest and placed it on his cheek and sucked two fingers into his mouth. He played his teeth and tongue over those fingers. Kakashi caressed Sasuke’s smooth cheek with his thumb as Sasuke sucked his fingers. Kakashi rubbed his face in Sasuke’s thick, ebony hair.

Kakashi’s other hand sped up as his own orgasm approached. Sasuke’s jaw slacked as he got closer and Kakashi removed his fingers and put his hand around Sasuke’s throat. Sasuke felt no malice and let Kakashi rub his exposed throat. Sasuke cam. Kakashi held Sasuke a little tighter and continued to thrust into him until he finally cam hard inside him. Kakashi’s body lay heavier on Sasuke’s back after he cam. Sasuke supported them both until Kakashi got his breath back. Kakashi kept his hold on Sasuke as he rolled over onto his side keeping Sasuke in his arms.

“You never go outside, do you?” Kakashi asked.

“I don’t have time. It’s taking longer than I thought.”

“Come out with me for a while. Get some fresh air and sun. Just a few hours. You can be back here in an instant.”

“Alright. I know good place.”

-----

It was a beautiful spot. Two juts of land over a river a the waterfall and an orchard of cherry trees. Kakashi admired the scenery from his place flanking Sasuke. He wore his solid black uniform with his kodachi on his back. Sasuke was calm and relaxed and Kakashi stared at him more than at the scenery. The cherry blossoms should have reminded him of Sakura, but he didn’t think of her much anymore; she was better off with someone her own age. He thought—at least as far as relationships were concerned—everything had turned out for the best. He loved Sasuke and he felt Sasuke needed that. Perhaps one day he would break the Uchiha’s shell.

Sasuke sat back against one of the trees and enjoyed the breeze feathering his face. Kakashi instinctively took up a guarding position; he knew his place. He’d fallen hard for him once he admitted to himself that he loved him; his life before being brought to the fortress permanently seemed like it had been another lifetime. He blocked out everything but the present.

The roar of the waterfall was comforting though it cut off much of their hearing. The wind and birds were the only other things to hear. Kakashi felt as relaxed as Sasuke looked. The smell of the blossoms was mixed with the smell of the water and wet earth and sun warmed leaves.

Kakashi smiled fondly when Sasuke fell asleep. He would have carried Sasuke home if it wasn’t an impossible distance away.

-----

Sasuke woke from a dead sleep in their bed a few nights later. He looked around as if expecting to find an assassin. Kakashi woke up slower, wakened by Sasuke’s motion, but he didn’t sense anything.

“Get dressed,” Sasuke said.

“What’s wrong?”

“Naruto’s awake.”

-----

Sasuke deposited him outside Naruto’s room. Sakura was already at Naruto’s bedside and Yamato was standing nearby. Sasuke had ordered him to wear his black uniform and not his Konoha uniform. Kakashi assented to that settle dig at Konoha.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto said a bit weakly, but very happily. His hair was much longer, even longer than his father’s had been, but it really reminded him of Minato.

Kakashi took a step forward, but the two ANBU guarding the room stopped him. “I’m sorry, Kakashi-sama, but we have orders not to allow you to approach Naruto-san.”

Yamato looked at him apologetically.

“I understand,” Kakashi said and took a step back. “How are you Naruto-kun?”

“I feel terrible.”

“I’m sure Iruka-san will bring you some ramen as soon as your system can stand it.” He became more serious. “What did Sasuke do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember anything after I looked into his eyes.”

“Sasuke said he was teaching you a lesson of some kind.”

“I don’t remember anything.”

“That might be for the best. Inochi should check you out though.”

Yamato nodded. “He’s on his way.”

“What’s going on?” Naruto asked. “Why aren’t you allowed near me? What happened while I was out?”

“I don’t think I have enough time,” Kakashi said. “Are you well?”

“I think so; I’m really weak.”

“He’s healthy,” Sakura said. “He’ll just need training to combat the atrophy.”

“I’m glad to see you’re well,” Kakashi said.

“What happened to Sasuke?” Naruto asked. “They won’t talk about him.”

“It’s probably best to wait to tell you everything, but Sasuke is alive and free.”

Naruto leaned forward from where he was lounging back on propped up pillows. “Where is he?”

“Naruto, you are in no condition to see him.”

“Is he alright?”

“You still want to save him?”

“Of course.”

“You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, Naruto. Even if you were able to drag him back, do you think he would have stayed? I think Sasuke would have bided his time and either suddenly attacked or fled. You can’t force him to listen or see reason. Don’t even try. If you did succeed now, he would just be executed.” Naruto looked shocked. Kakashi crossed his arms, the tips of his left hand touching the seal through his shirt. “Don’t you remember before you fought Sasuke? Sasuke can’t be forgiven for what he’s done. Forget Sasuke. The boy you knew is dead; that’s not Sasuke anymore.” The sadness in his eyes spoke volumes to them. “Get well and devote yourself to becoming Hokage. Forget Sasuke.”

It hurt to see Naruto again. Naruto had been out of their lives during most of this saga and he was a symbol of happier—or at least stabilizer—times. Kakashi had cut himself off from Konoha by swearing loyalty to Sasuke and cut himself off from Naruto. That ball of sunshine and hope, his sensei’s son, was lost to him. But he didn’t regret swearing loyalty to Sasuke. At least not yet. Kakashi summoned himself back to the fortress.

“What happened?” Naruto asked.

“Don’t worry about it, Naruto,” Sakura said.

“What did Sasuke do?”

“Not now, Naruto, let’s get you stronger first.”

Naruto turned to Yamato. “What’s going on? What did Sasuke do and why wasn’t Kakashi allowed near me? What’s going on? Where’s Baa-chan?”

“A lot’s happened. Sasuke killed Tsunade,” Yamato said.

Both Naruto and Sakura looked grieved. “Then who’s Hokage?”

“Kakashi was made Hokage by—”

“So you think I’m a danger to him?” Naruto was incensed even though he knew that Sasuke might have done anything to him with his Sharingan.

“No, no. Kakashi was Hokage. Some fear he may be a danger to you. It was Sasuke who named Kakashi Hokage. A few months ago, Sasuke replaced him with me and took Kakashi with him. There are fears Sasuke might use Kakashi to get close to you in order to assassinate you. Some question Kakashi’s loyalty. But I don’t think Kakashi would betray us; Sasuke was cruel to Kakashi while he was Hokage.”

Sakura started crying as if Kakashi were dead.

Naruto didn’t look good to begin with, but he looked worse thinking that Sasuke and Kakashi might be trying to kill him. He also didn’t like seeing Sakura cry.

“There’s more, Naruto,” Yamato said. Naruto didn’t think he wanted to hear it.

-----

Kakashi convinced Sasuke to come out again after another week. Sasuke was dosing again with the breeze caressing his face while sitting against a cherry tree. Sasuke had dedicated himself to his work even more since Naruto woke up and he needed the rest. The roar of the waterfall was not quite enough to drown out the few birds and it didn’t concern Kakashi; he was confident that they were safe here. Such a secluded place that had no connection to Sasuke; there should be no way anyone would find them here.

Sasuke had said nothing about Naruto or what he’d done to Naruto and Kakashi really had nothing to report except the obvious: atrophy. They didn’t talk about Naruto again.

Kakashi sensed multiple people approaching. He didn’t think, he turned and crouched, pulling his sword from its sheath to hold before him, ready to defend his master. Sasuke stood, instantly alert.

They were surrounded. Sasuke turned only so much to eye Kakashi; Sasuke couldn’t help being the least bit suspicious; it was Kakashi who had suggested he come here; perhaps he’d arranged this with Konoha while he was visiting Naruto. Sasuke had been listening, but Kakashi might have written a message. But Kakashi had had a thousand opportunities to betray him. He’d laid his life before Kakashi and Kakashi hadn’t taken it. He hadn’t betrayed him; he was crouched ready to defend him. He might know he had Kakashi’s love, but he didn’t know if Naruto might divide his loyalties now.

Kakashi looked into the faces of those approaching. He flinched at seeing Sakura. But before anyone could move or even say anything, Sasuke grabbed Kakashi by the back of the neck and the pair vanished.

Shikamaru, who was leading this band, threw a kunai into the ground in frustration. “Whose side is Kakashi on?!”

Sakura stood beside him. “He flinched when he saw me. I think he was going to lower his weapon.”

“He’s kept so close to Sasuke, why doesn’t he kill him?!”

“Sasuke must not trust him and not give him any opening. I can’t believe he switched sides.”

“He’s his sensei,” Shikamaru sneered. “Naruto still hasn’t come to terms with Sasuke’s true self. Kakashi may still believe in him.”

“He didn’t when he was Hokage.”

“Sasuke’s been a compulsive traitor from the start, from Konoha, to Orochimaru, to Akatsuki . . .”

“He didn’t learn it from Kakashi,” Sakura argued. “He was ever loyal to Konoha.”

“Until now.” Shikamaru crouched and surveyed the area. “Why were they here?”

Sakura’s eyes were fastened to her namesake. Maybe Kakashi was thinking of me.

“We’ll leave a team here to see if they come back and see if there’s something here.”

“Just don’t cut anything down or dig.” That voice came from behind them. They turned. Kakashi was standing there with his hands up. “Sasuke sent me back as a messenger.”

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill the messenger to send my own message?” Shikamaru demanded.

“Then you lose the one advocate you have next to Sasuke. I do have his ear.”

“What’s the message?”

“’Stop it. You’ll never kill me. What have I really done since I defeated you all to harm you? I’m keeping the peace, aren’t I? I’m even keeping you somewhat united against me. Do I really ask so much? I’ve asked very little. You criticize me for seeking revenge; that is all you are doing. Stop it.’”

Shikamaru growled and looked away to think.

Kakashi looked at Sakura, but she couldn’t tell what was behind his single eye.

Kakashi met Shikamaru’s eyes when he looked back at Kakashi. “What have you done to help us?” Kakashi held Shikamaru’s gaze, but would not say anything. “Fine. We’ll retreat. Wait. Why were you even here?”

“Sasuke would want to know the same thing about you. He was admiring the scenery. Don’t mar it out of spite. So much was destroyed in the war. And it would be a shame to mar the beauty of the cherry blossoms.” He looked at Sakura as he said that. “I think Sasuke would avenge it; you know how he is. Sakura, I—” Kakashi vanished, summoned back by Sasuke.

“Retreat!” Shikamaru called.

Back in the fortress, Sasuke was lounging in his throne when Kakashi returned.

“You are a jealous bastard,” Kakashi said. He knew Sasuke was listening in on them from the burn in his shoulder.

“I only sent you back to deliver my message, not to flirt with your former girlfriend. Did you sense anything before they showed up? Any idea how they knew we were there?”

“Nothing. I reacted as soon as I sensed something.”

“Passive sensors of some kind? But why have any there?” Sasuke thought for a few seconds and then Kakashi noticed Sasuke’s skin grow paler; difficult with his natural pallor. “I’ll look into this.” Sasuke stood and vanished.

Sasuke returned half a day later. Kakashi was roughhousing with his hounds in an unused room when Sasuke tracked him down and gave him an annoyed look.

“When you’re finished . . .” Sasuke walked out.

“Kid’s still got a stick up his ass,” Pakkun said.

Kakashi wanted to say that that wasn’t all Sasuke had up his ass. Kakashi sent his pack home and went back to the bedroom. Sasuke was lying on the bed.

“I’ve really screwed up,” Sasuke said.

“You’re only realizing that now?”

Sasuke scowled at him then settled back down. “It was Juugo. He’s working for Konoha. He was with Suigetsu when I went looking for him. I told Suigetsu I intended to kill all those who opposed me. Suigetsu readily agreed to help me. Juugo followed me until then because I could stop his murderous urges; he wouldn’t join us. I did always intend to use him as a weapon; he wasn’t so blind not realize that. Now, he’s joined with my enemies and is scouting for them using birds. I guess someone else in Konoha has found a way to help him.”

“How did you find out?”

“Kurohoshi and I went to Konoha and didn’t just stay in the Hokage’s office. Being an adorable, affectionate cat has a lot of advantages. Juugo is there and Kurohoshi overheard someone talking about Shikamaru’s encounter with us.” Sasuke didn’t mention that he’d also heard something like ‘Sakura didn’t tell him?’ Sasuke didn’t make any conjectures about what they meant by that, but he wasn’t going to mention Sakura if he didn’t have to.

“I was slightly out of my mind when I impaled Karen to kill Danzou and told Sakura to kill her. I didn’t intend to turn any of them into enemies.”

“And Suigetsu?”

“Suigetsu won’t be anyone’s pawn for long; that was always understood between us. I fucked up with the others.”

“You turned everyone against you, even Naruto, Sakura, and I.”

“You’re making me feel so much better,” Sasuke sighed sarcastically. “I didn’t give a damn about the rest of you, but I felt some responsibility for them since I chose them and led them. It does depress me.”

“You didn’t care if you lost us?”

“I wanted nothing more than for Naruto to forget about me and respect my decision to leave and follow my own path; I never liked Sakura and wanted her to go the fuck away. As for you? I blamed you. I nearly killed you on that battlefield. I didn’t care anymore. I wanted you all dead. The whole world died when I learned the truth about my brother. That anyone else lived while my brother was dead . . .”

“How do you feel now?”

“I don’t care. My rage is mostly gone. I just want . . . Another month. I should be done in another month.”

“What then?”

Sasuke never answered that question whenever Kakashi asked it. Kakashi was starting to fear Sasuke intended suicide. Sasuke had been cryptic, especially when he said he expected Kakashi to murder him. He didn’t say he would have stopped Kakashi. Kakashi went around to his side of the bed and crawled over to Sasuke.

Sasuke looked straight up into Kakashi’s eyes. “You smell of dog,” Sasuke said.

“I don’t complain when you smell like cat or chemicals.”

Sasuke’s eyes were relaxed and inviting. Kakashi kissed him. When Sasuke kissed back lazily and threaded his fingers in Kakashi’s hair, Kakashi moved to straddle the younger man. This is what Kakashi had wanted, the freedom to touch and kiss Sasuke when he wanted, to make love to Sasuke, to actively contribute to his pleasure. Even with Sasuke depressed, Kakashi was happy. Sasuke was his right now and he could do something to take Sasuke’s mind off his mistakes. They had both made so many of them.

Kakashi shifted his weight onto his knees and carefully undressed Sasuke without taking his lips away. Un-zipped, buckled, and tied, his clothes now just laying open and loose on his body, Sasuke reached up and started stripping Kakashi. Finally, they had no choice but to separate and remove their clothes. Kakashi was back on him as soon as their bodies were bare.

Sasuke lay there and kissed back weakly. It concerned Kakashi a little; this wasn’t submission, it was surrender. Part of him wanted to stop, afraid that Sasuke was just letting him take him like he let Orochimaru, but he knew Sasuke wanted it, needed it, but he was just too depressed. Kakashi knew the feeling.

On the contrary, Sasuke was sinking into Kakashi’s former position, wanting Kakashi to use him in order to punish himself.

“Try not to think,” Kakashi whispered against Sasuke’s lips. “Or just think about how I love you.”

“Don’t mess around, Kakashi.” Somehow, Sasuke’s voice remained hard. “Just fuck me.” He knew asking Kakashi to rape him wouldn’t get him the result he wanted.

But that didn’t work either. Kakashi entered him slowly and made love to him slowly. It was pissing Sasuke off. Then Kakashi started caressing his sun-starved body, like he was precious and fragile and sacred.

“Stop it,” Sasuke muttered. But Kakashi didn’t stop. Sasuke cringed and pushed him away. “I said stop it!” But Kakashi was back on him instantly. He didn’t try to mount him again, but he was touching him again, his lips gliding gently down his cheek and a caress down his abdomen. Sasuke tried to get away, but Kakashi seized his wrist while his other hand took hold of Sasuke’s chin. There were tears in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Kakashi asked.

“I don’t want you touching me like that.”

“Like what?”

“I just want to be fucked. I’m not fragile; I’m not going to break.”

“Aren’t you?” He kissed him.

Sasuke struggled away. He growled. “I’m not . . .”

“Yes, you are. You’re so close to shattering.” Kakashi stroked his hair. “I saw you before that night; I know how your personality changed. You know ever since then what everyone’s call you? The Ice Prince. Ice shatters or it melts. Just relax, Sasuke. You’ve never been loved before. Relax.”

Kakashi kissed the back of his neck and pulled him back under him. “Why don’t you like it? It’s odd that you love to do and for me to do to you things that were forced on you, but something I’m sure Orochimaru didn’t do to you, you loath.”

“You think he didn’t caress me possessively?”

“But not lovingly. I live for you now, Sasuke. I love you so much it’s painful. Orochimaru didn’t love you, did he?” Kakashi kissed Sasuke, not letting him answer. “Or do you feel as unworthy of it as I do?”

“Fuck you.”

“Alright.”

Sasuke gave an amused huff. “Stop psychoanalyzing me while we’re having sex. I know you’ve been doing it in your head since the beginning. Stop it. And stop touching me like that, damn it!” Kakashi looked down at him fondly. “You’ve become rather bold recently.”

“Like most other things nowadays: that’s your fault.”

“I should have just killed Sakura and not given into you.” That straightened Kakashi’s spine; he didn’t even know what to make of that statement. “Are you going to finish? And go faster if you don’t want me to let things go back to how they were.”

Kakashi decided he made his point and it was better to do what Sasuke wanted. Kakashi slid back into him and grabbed the back of Sasuke’s left knee to pull it up toward Sasuke’s chest. He fucked Sasuke hard. Sasuke groaned in pleasure.

Sasuke threw his arm up next to his head and he turned his face to the side as he luxuriated in just feeling. Kakashi’s heart hurt thinking that Orochimaru had seen Sasuke like this. He doubted Orochimaru had loved Sasuke; if he had, Kakashi wouldn’t feel so angry about what he’d done to Sasuke. But he’d still be jealous, but he wouldn’t pity Sasuke so much.

Sasuke didn’t move, just let Kakashi use his body. Kakashi worried that this was how Sasuke was with Orochimaru. He would have stopped except Sasuke needed the distraction. He aimed right for Sasuke’s prostate and used his lube-smeared hand to jack Sasuke, trying to give him enough pleasure for him not to think. Of course, Kakashi knew from experience that your mind will wonder where it willed even while being fucked senseless. Kakashi was relieved when it was over. He stayed hovering over his lover.

“You never said whether you enjoyed it better with me or Orochimaru.”

“You need to ask?”

“It’s nice to hear.”

“Yes, I enjoy it better when you do it. Orochimaru was . . . he didn’t really care about me. He only wanted me to cum so that I would willing let him fuck me. Neither of them loved me.”

“I’ll always love you.”

“Would you love me if I killed everyone in Konoha?”

“You asked me something similar before.”

“I was just talking about your family and friends. I’m talking about everyone you’ve ever spoken to or even ever seen. Would you still love me if I killed them all?”

“Hai.”

Sasuke gave a small laugh. “Like how I feel about my brother. As long as I knew he loved me and didn’t kill our family out of malice or to torture me, he could kill the whole world and I’d still adore him.”

“Ah. Is that what you’re planning?”

“To slaughter Konoha?”

“Please, don’t do it. I deserve your animosity and punishment; I could have saved you. Leave everyone else alone; I’ll take the burden alone.”

“It wasn’t just you. I’ve spared Sakura on your account, don’t ask me to spare any more.”

“Please, Sasuke. You know how hollow revenge is now, don’t you? Just let them go.”

“Not yet.”

That gave Kakashi a chill. “Please, Sasuke. You’ve already won.”

Sasuke chuckled. “You call this winning? I’m living underground, literally. I can’t show my face in any civilized place, my family is still dead, I have very few people I can even be around without them cowering in fear or trying to kill me. Talk about a hallow victory.”

Kakashi didn’t respond. He was right of course: Sasuke wasn’t living in fear, but he wasn’t living comfortably. Kakashi moved to lie next to Sasuke.

“If you had to, who would you kill: Sakura or me?”

Kakashi was surprised by the question, but he considered it seriously. “I’d rather kill myself rather than either of you; I couldn’t do it.”

“What if you could only save one of us?”

“You don’t need protection.”

“Knocked out.”

“You. I do love you more.”

“I can’t guarantee it—even I can’t foresee everything that might happen—but I give you all the assurance I can that I won’t harm her and I won’t put you in the position to make that choice.”

“I appreciate that.”

“You think I’m planning something diabolical, don’t you?”

“Not diabolical. Cruel, not diabolical. I think you’re planning your final revenge. A coup de grâce of sorts.”

“Maybe. I am planning one last insult, but it may not come off as I want. Maybe I’ll finally be free. I just wish Itachi was alive.”

“So do I. I sincerely wish he was alive.”

Sasuke was admittedly depressed and Kakashi could hear and feel how deep it was. Kakashi turned and held him. He smiled.

Sasuke felt Kakashi’s cheek move. “What are you smiling about?”

“I’m just glad you’re not pushing or twisting away from me.”

“I’m the one who brought you here.”

Sasuke didn’t comment on widening of Kakashi’s smile.

Kakashi hated leaving Sasuke the next morning—it was evening, but for all intents and purposes, it was morning. Sasuke woke up when Kakashi got out of bed.

“I’m expected in Ame,” Kakashi said. “You might as well sleep a little longer.”

“Stay longer and I’ll just send you when you’re expected.”

“Which is in an hour. I’ll wake you.”

Sasuke did go back to sleep while Kakashi showered and dressed. Kakashi didn’t like having to wake Sasuke. Sasuke fell back to sleep after Kakashi was safely transported to Ame.

-----

Peace was never to last in their lives—or between them. Nearly two weeks into Sasuke’s theoretical month until he was finished with his work, Sasuke told Kakashi to accompany him to Konoha to visit Itachi’s memorial. Kakashi, of course, agreed.

Kakashi didn’t even look at the memorial when they arrived. He immediately bowed his head in his position flanking Sasuke. He was really here as a guard, to make sure Sasuke wasn’t disturbed as he grieved, but he offered his own prayer to Itachi before he turned around to keep watch. A flash of rage from his companion made him look up before he could turn. Scrawled around the memorial were words like ‘traitor’ and phrases like ‘rot in hell.’ Red paint dripped from the talons and beak of the raven. Kakashi turned to see Sasuke’s face. Shit.

“Summon one of your ninken,” Sasuke growled.

The order surprised him. “Huh?”

“Summon your ninken!” Sasuke shouted.

Kakashi obeyed before Sasuke struck out at him. Pakkun appeared.

“Track down the one who defaced the memorial,” Sasuke growled at him.

Pakkun could see that it meant death for whoever had done this. He looked at Kakashi and Kakashi gave a single nod and the dog obeyed. There were two trails, Pakkun followed the newer one. It led into the Hokage tower. Sasuke walked in as if he were Hokage and Kakashi followed, wondering where ANBU was at the moment while Sasuke seemed completely unconcerned by them. Pakkun stopped in the cells in the sublevel. Sasuke was reaching for the door when Kakashi sensed an attack.

“Shit,” he whispered and leaped back. ANBU had chosen to show up now.

Sasuke’s sword was out instantaneously to block a strike. There were seven attackers and Sasuke dealt with them all with Chidori spears which radiated out of Sasuke as if he were some kind of sea urchin. Kakashi instinctively—but unnecessarily—hit the deck; he was in no danger from Sasuke at the moment. He was on his back, looking to see what damage Sasuke had done when the eighth member of this group leapt out of the shadows. But he wasn’t aiming for Sasuke, he was aiming for Kakashi. Kakashi took out a kunai, but just before their weapons met, three Chidori spears skewered the attacker’s right arm. The force of the jutsu sent the attacker flying into the nearby wall and pinned him there.

Yamato arrived as Sasuke let the spears dissolve. As if nothing had happened, Sasuke opened the door to the cell holding the one who had defiled his brother’s monument. Yamato was about to speak, but Kakashi beat him to it. Kakashi stood and grabbed Sasuke. To Yamato’s surprise, Sasuke didn’t try to shake him off.

“Please, Sasuke, they arrested him. He’ll be punished. Please don’t do this.”

Sasuke took a step forward. Yamato turned on the light. Sasuke stopped dead. It was a kid. Kakashi was just as surprised to see a kid no more than eleven years old. Sasuke glared at the kid for several moments. The boy was terrified; he’d seen everything that happened outside his cell and he was now looking into a Sharingan. Kakashi realized that the kid had wet himself.

“Sasuke,” Kakashi pleaded softly.

Sasuke vanished out of his grip and Kakashi was summoned away a second later. Kakashi barely perceived the change in location before he was punched in the cheek. He was startled enough and the punch so forceful that he fell to the ground.

“Get up!” Sasuke bellowed.

Sasuke had certainly scared him before, but never more than now. Sasuke hadn’t killed that child, but he was not going to forgo some kind of revenge. Kakashi feared that Sasuke was truly blind with rage and wouldn’t hold back. The Uchiha was vibrating with rage.

Kakashi stood and prepared to defend himself. Sasuke attacked. Sasuke was so full of rage and Kakashi so shaken by the sudden attack that he was barely able to defend himself. Sasuke’s blows kept landing. Kakashi’s leg gave out and he fell.

“Get up!” Sasuke roared again. Kakashi obeyed, but slowly. Sasuke renewed his assault until Kakashi fell again. Sasuke ordered him to stand again. Kakashi tried, but he was barely able to push his chest off the ground. He sunk to the floor and blacked out. Sasuke’s shouts to get up couldn’t reach him anymore.

-----

When Kakashi opened his eyes, he tried to cover them immediately; it was far too bright. There was a tug against his right hand, so he relaxed it and used only his left to cover his eyes. Nothing about the room felt right. He squinted and tried to look around. A hospital room? The tug was the IV in his hand.

Shizune looked up from her chair against the wall, altered by motion. She stood and approached, smiling weakly.

“Shizune?”

“How are you feeling?”

“In pain.”

“You’ll be alright, Kakashi. You got here in time.”

“How?”

“You just appeared in the hospital lobby. They called Sakura and I in to care for you. We stopped the bleeding and set the bones. You’ll make a full recovery if you stay here for a while.”

Kakashi remembered most of what happened that night. “The kid?”

“He’s alright. He might need some therapy, but he’s unhurt. The eight ANBU who attacked are all alive. Seven will recover, but the one that attacked you lost his arm. Sasuke’s attack shattered the bones and burned too much tissue to save it. But none of them died. Two others did though. The next morning, two of our shinobi were found in the training grounds. Sasuke seemed to have chosen them specifically. They were taken from their homes and brought there. He could have killed any number of shinobi that were closer to hand, but he chose those two. It looks like he fought them like he did you except he let you live. We don’t know why he chose them, they weren’t particularly strong or weak opponents.”

“You said ‘the next morning.’”

“You’ve been out for two days.”

Shizune looked at him eyes full of concern. She was a little in love with Kakashi, but Sakura had got to him before she even realized her own feelings. Especially since she began to suspect what Sasuke was really doing to Kakashi, her heart went out to him and she was compelled to comfort and nurture him. Sakura couldn’t do it since Kakashi wouldn’t let her know what was really going on. Shizune had arrived at the hospital before Sakura and saw the love bite on Kakashi’s neck. She had suspected what Sasuke was doing to Kakashi ever since he came to her to heal those scratches on his back and the moment she saw that bruise, she knew what it was. She slapped a bandage over it before Sakura arrived.

Shizune was staring at him, but was able to hide the adoring look behind concern. Kakashi suddenly thought about his mask. He reached up and found a surgical mask there, the eye patch was gone, but his lower face was covered.

“Sakura made sure no one saw your face but her,” Shizune said.

“Where is she?”

“She should be back soon.”

Shizune went over his injuries until Sakura ran in. She heard Shizune talking from the hall and knew that meant Kakashi was awake. She wanted to throw herself on him and hug him and kiss him, but she knew how badly injured he was. Instead, she grabbed his hand with her shaking one.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Alive.”

She smiled even as tears flooded her eyes.

Later that night, with Kakashi passed out on pain killers, Sasuke arrived. He glanced at Kakashi before grabbing his charts and reading it over. Severe blood loss, internal bleeding, punctured lung, broken clavicle, three broken ribs, two cracked ribs, broken sternum, fractured ulna, fractured femur, broken cheekbone, slight concussion.

A shadow approached from behind him. Sasuke shot out an elbow, catching the ANBU in the face. Sasuke hit him in the arm enough to position him right in front of the open window and kicked him hard in the diaphragm and out into the night. He coldly went back to reading. He gave Kakashi another glance before putting the charts away.

Sasuke transformed into Neji, the only powerful, stoic shinobi Sasuke could think of from this village. He went to the nurses’ station.

“Excuse me, when will Kakashi-sama be well enough to discharge?”

“About another three days. Shizune-san and Sakura-san are tending him. We just have to wait for everything to heal a bit more.”

“He’ll make a full recovery?”

“Most likely.”

“Thank you.”

Sasuke broke the transformation and went home as soon as he was out of sight.

-----

They knew Sasuke had been there. The ANBU Sasuke had kicked out of the third story window had lived. Sakura knew they couldn’t save Kakashi from him though she’d hoped that Sasuke beating Kakashi nearly to death and leaving him in the hospital lobby meant he was finished with him. But Sasuke had been there.

Sakura, Shizune, and Yamato talked about removing the seal from Kakashi’s arm, but that type of seal went deep and couldn’t just be cut away. If they could remove it, Sakura would take Kakashi and run and hide from Sasuke. But Sasuke would always find them. She didn’t know that Kakashi would also do everything in his power to return to Sasuke.

Kakashi woke up to a burning in the seal. “Sasuke,” he whispered. The burning stopped. There was no one in the room and Sasuke had cut him off. He felt alone and abandoned.

He didn’t know it for the first few days, but he had another visitor while he was asleep: Kurohoshi. The black cat came in through the window and lay carefully on Kakashi’s arm or chest and purred. Kurohoshi came in every night. Kakashi woke up one night to find the warm, vibrating mass on his chest. He smiled and petted him. Kurohoshi meowed and rubbed his head against Kakashi’s hand. Kakashi wanted to talk to him, ask him about Sasuke, but he didn’t want to endanger the cat or anger Sasuke by hinting that this was more than just a friendly stray.

Then Pakkun arrived while Kurohoshi was spying on Yamato. The dog reversed summoned himself to Kakashi’s side. Sakura had told Kakashi that Pakkun had stayed during the attack and after Sasuke and Kakashi vanished. Yamato had told Pakkun about Iruka finding the kid defacing the monument and hauling him into the tower that same day Sasuke had chosen to visit. He was going to spend the night in a cell to teach him a lesson. Sasuke had done far more than that. Pakkun and Yamato were still talking when they heard about Kakashi being deposited in the hospital and near death. Pakkun had stayed at his master’s side for some time before he had to return home.

“How are you feeling?” Pakkun asked.

“Better.”

Pakkun shook his head, saying silently that Sasuke wasn’t worth it. Pakkun knew Kakashi loved Sasuke—he couldn’t hide it from him of all beings. Kakashi shook his head just as deliberately to say that there was no way he could leave or kill Sasuke, which was what Pakkun wanted him to do.

“Then we will,” Pakkun said.

“No. You wouldn’t survive the attempt.”

“We can try.”

“No.”

“We are bound to follow your orders, but he has to be killed. Nothing good comes from leaving him alive.”

“Break the contract if you want, but please, don’t try to kill him.”

Pakkun put his head on Kakashi’s hand. “We dogs are loyal.”

“Thank you.”

“But look what he did to you and you had nothing to do with it. He turned on you. He’ll kill you one day. And for nothing.”

Kakashi shook his head. “No. I know what it feels like. I know how he feels.” He did know all too well what Sasuke had felt that night. His father’s grave was vandalized soon after Sakumo committed suicide; he understood the rage Sasuke felt and it brought back the grief. “I know what it’s like. I wish I had the strength to run away from all this: Konoha and Sasuke. I don’t.”

“There’s really no running away from your memories.”

“Tell me about it.”

Yamato came to the door. “Sempai.”

“Come in, Tenzou.”

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“Sasuke was just so angry, but he couldn’t attack a kid. He turned on me. He attacked me before, but nothing like that. Itachi is still a very sensitive nerve. He’s not usually like that anymore. He’s calmed down over the years, especially the last few months.”

“What is going on over there? What is he doing?”

“He doesn’t let me near his ‘projects.’ I can’t tell you the first thing about them. Except . . .” He considered his loyalty. His arm wasn’t burning. He thought about telling Tenzou that Sasuke was almost finished, but decided against that. “He promises that it’s not ‘diabolical.’”

“What’s going on? I’ve heard rumors that you’ve been seen in some of the smaller nations.”

“Running errands. I have a small bit of freedom and time away from the fortress, but Sasuke’s got a firm grip on me.” He shrugged his shoulder with the seal on it. “I don’t see Sasuke all that much really.” He was telling the truth.

“He took you just to have an errand boy?”

“That and he’s lonely.”

“Why did you move to defend him when Shikamaru’s unit surrounded you?”

“I didn’t know who they were, I was protecting myself.” Half truth.

“Why were you even there?”

Kakashi repressed a sigh. At least Tenzou wasn’t pretending this wasn’t a interrogation. “Sasuke hadn’t left the fortress in weeks and needed to get out. It’s one of the places he feels relaxed. I like that place as well. Don’t try another ambush; he’ll either attack or disappear.”

“Did he attack you after that?”

“No. But it still puzzles him how you found us.” A little lie.

Now wait. They both realized they had inadvertently come to a test. If Tenzou trusted Kakashi, he would tell him how they knew where they were.

“I’m glad our actions didn’t cause you any harm.”

Tenzou no longer trusted him. It was almost like he wore a headband with the Uchiha fan engraved in it, as if his shifted loyalty was visible. That was fine. Kakashi had decided that he never wanted to come home. But it still hurt; Tenzou had been a friend. Kakashi almost wanted to laugh: only Sasuke trusted him. Even Pakkun wanted to defy him. Of all people, Sasuke trusted him. Once again, Kakashi had to wonder if this was all on purpose, if Sasuke was manipulating him. He didn’t really care. He just wanted to go home. Home to Sasuke.

Tenzou looked sorry for not being able to trust his former sempai. His friend and Hokage. “Thank you for stopping him.”

“I don’t think he would have attacked if I hadn’t tried to stop him. My appeal did nothing.”

“You put yourself in danger to save one of us; thank you.”

One of us. Kakashi wasn’t ‘one of us’ anymore. “But you don’t like the fact that I could grab him, but I haven’t killed him.”

“It’s crossed my mind.”

“He can feel murderous intent more than you and I, it’s a heightened sense for him. He knew I didn’t intend to harm him or I would have been skewered like the others.” That wasn’t the truth; Sasuke did have that sense, but he’d looked at Sasuke many times early on with the desire to murder him and Sasuke didn’t react in the slightest.

“I’ve been told you’ll be released in the morning.” Tenzou didn’t have anything else to say.

Pakkun growled. The two shinobi looked at the window. Kurohoshi stood there. He hissed at Pakkun.

“Don’t worry about him,” Kakashi told Pakkun. Pakkun took an aggressive posture. “Pakkun!” The pug looked up at him. Kakashi gave him a warning look. Pakkun sat down. Kurohoshi ran off.

Tenzou laughed. “Dogs and cats. Goodbye, sempai.”

“Goodbye, Tenzou.”

Pakkun looked up at Kakashi again. Kakashi knew that Pakkun hand scented Sasuke on the cat and Kakashi had covered for him, protected Sasuke’s cat. Pakkun sighed and vanished.

Kakashi sat back. He wished he had someone to talk to about all this. Pakkun and the others didn’t seem like good options anymore. Thinking about his father a few minutes ago made him wish he could talk to Sakumo. Or even Minato. He couldn’t remember what his mother looked liked, she was so long dead. He wouldn’t trust anyone else with this. He didn’t care anymore what his family would think, what anyone thought, he loved Sasuke and had lost faith in Konoha. He was tempted to summon himself home now, but he needed to be healthy. He stayed.

-----

Sasuke arrived in Kakashi’s bedroom the next morning after hearing from Kurohoshi that Kakashi was ready to be released. He was a menacing figure in his black cloak.

“I’m told you’re ready to leave.”

Shizune had pressed herself back against the wall when Sasuke appeared; now she glared at him. “Who told you?” she hissed.

“I know about your poison jutsus,” Sasuke said. “You do know that Orochimaru made sure that I am immune to just about every known poison and venom in the shinobi world? He and Kabuto knew about your little tricks and I’m sure that poison was among the many I’ve developed a tolerance for. Kakashi, on the other hand, has not. Get ready to leave.” Kakashi started removing his hospital gown.

Sasuke looked out the window, careful about the angle. His eyes softened. “It doesn’t look the same at all.” Shizune and Kakashi wondered at the wistfulness of that statement. He may hate Konoha, but he also missed it, missed the home he shared with his family and his brother. The Konoha he knew in happier times, before the slaughter and while a member of Team Seven was long gone.

Shizune moved so that she could keep an eye on Sasuke while giving Kakashi some privacy to change.

“You killed my master,” she said with a cracked voice.

Sasuke turned bored eyes on her. “She died in battle. I gave her that at least. Do you think she really wanted to waste away as a burden on her loyal students? She died as a shinobi. Though, I’d wager she’d rather have died in a gambling din.”

Kakashi had been hurrying, not liking where this conversation was or where it might be going. He stood up, fully dressed and ready to leave. Sasuke looked at him and Shizune couldn’t help noticing the fond look in Sasuke’s eyes when he saw Kakashi standing, apparently hale.

“Does he need any other care or is he completely healthy?” Sasuke asked.

Shizune sighed, knowing that there was no lie she could tell to keep Kakashi in Konoha. She turned to Kakashi. “Don’t stress yourself at all, take it easy for a while so the bones have time to strengthen. That’s it.”

Sasuke nodded to her and surprised her by tossing a roll of Fire Country bills on the tray. He vanished and Kakashi was summoned away seconds later.

In their bedroom, Sasuke asked, “Are you really okay?”

“Yes.”

Sasuke looked contrite, but he didn’t apologize.

“I don’t hold it against you,” Kakashi said. “I reacted in a similar manner when my father’s grave was defaced. I tried to kill the three chunin who did it, but I was just six and probably would have died if Minato-sensei hadn’t stepped in. I understand how you felt.” Sasuke nodded and stripped off his cloak. “Who were the ones you killed?”

Sasuke hesitated then continued going to the closet to hang his cloak. “After I joined Madara, he took me to another base and we stopped to eat at a restaurant on the way. There were some Konoha shinobi there. I don’t know how they knew, but they were talking about Itachi’s death and how glad they were that he was dead, except they wish they had been the ones to do it. Madara stopped me from killing them then. In my rage last night, they came to mind. I left you at the hospital and sought out those shinobi. I found only two. The others weren’t in the village. I forced them to fight me like I did you and I killed them.” Sasuke sighed. “Do as she said: rest; don’t even think about going in the training or weight room. I need to get back to work. I’ll bring food when I can.”

Later, Kakashi sat up in bed reading. Sakura had brought him another copy of Icha Icha Paradise and he continued now with his own copy. Sasuke came in with a tray of food. Kakashi came over to the table. It was a meal for one. Sasuke was gracious enough—or apologetic enough—to take the dishes off the tray for him. As he did, Kakashi saw scratches on Sasuke’s arm where the sleeve hitched up as he moved.

Kakashi pulled the sleeve up to see the scratches better. “What happened?”

Sasuke ignored Kakashi touching him and didn’t look at him. “Kurohoshi attacked me when he found out what I did. It pisses me off how fond of you he is. He was hissing at me; he never hisses at me. He used both paws.” Sasuke turned his arm to show more scratches.

“Pakkun wants to kill you.”

“That’s the rule, not the exception.”

Sasuke turned to leave. Kakashi grabbed his sleeve again. “Come home tonight.”

“Tonight’s subjective down here; did you forget? I have to finish before Naruto recovers.”

“I don’t mind if you’re exhausted.”

Sasuke was genuinely surprised that the man who he beat the shit out of was propositioning him for sex. Amusement replaced surprise. “You are a dirty old man.”

Kakashi couldn’t help grabbing Sasuke and pulling him into his arms on his lap. Sasuke didn’t struggle.

“Sex starved in the hospital?”

“Completely.” Kakashi kissed Sasuke’s neck.

“Good.” He wriggled away. “It’ll be more intense the longer you wait.” Sasuke left.

Kakashi pouted and started eating. Then the absurdity of his own behavior hit him just as it hit Sasuke. He’d grabbed Sasuke like they were normal lovers.

Well, why not? Why shouldn’t he treat Sasuke as a lover rather than an oppressor? How comfortable he had become here with Sasuke, especially since Sasuke started asking him to make love to him? He really didn’t hold Sasuke’s outburst against him. Sasuke had come back for him and shown that they were even more similar than Kakashi thought before.

Kakashi turned to the meal. It tasted a little different than Tamaki’s normal style and wasn’t as pretty as she usually made the plates. Tamaki had said Sasuke was capable of cooking. Kakashi smiled. Sasuke could indeed be sweet.

Sasuke did come home that night. Kakashi was asleep, but Sasuke finally found a good way to wake him up. At first Kakashi thought it was a wet dream. Soon he became aware that the silken feeling around his cock was real and woke up to see Sasuke between his legs in the dim light with his cock in Sasuke’s mouth.

Kakashi sighed with pleasure. “Now that’s how you wake up a man.”

Sasuke took Kakashi’s cock out of his mouth and rubbed it against his smooth upper cheek like a cat against a leg. Sasuke’s hadn’t shaved that pathetic excuse for a beard in a few days but he avoided scraping the stubble against Kakashi’s cock. Sasuke turned his head to lick the underside as he made his way down to Kakashi’s balls. A few licks there and he took Kakashi back into his mouth.

Kakashi had wondered before why Sasuke loved sucking him off so much. He was turned on by sucking off Sasuke, but he didn’t enjoy it as much as Sasuke did. According to what Sasuke said, his first time sucking Orochimaru off was also sort of forced, or at least coerced, so Kakashi would have thought he wouldn’t like it as it wasn’t as physically pleasurable as being fucked.

Then Kakashi remembered how much power he felt he had when he sucked Sasuke off early on; it was the control, the power of being able to force Sasuke into vulnerable state. It was the power, Kakashi decided. Without a hand on his head forcing him deeper and dictating his speed and motions, Sasuke had control. Being good at it meant that Orochimaru and Kabuto probably just let him go at it without forcing him to do anything. That might be why he grew to like it.

Kakashi admonished himself for thinking too much, Sasuke probably knew he was doing it again. How could he not want to understand Sasuke? The boy he trained—even raised—for a year had become this.

Sasuke gave Kakashi one last long suck. “Well, I came home. I assumed from the fact you went to bed in the nude what you wanted.”

“I want you.”

Sasuke crawled up Kakashi’s body and kissed him. He loved Sasuke’s mouth, loved those soft lips and wicked tongue. Sasuke was lazy and yielding tonight. Sasuke was already naked and Kakashi let his hands roam over his sides. Sasuke was thin; he could feel his ribs even more than before.

Sasuke pulled away and guided Kakashi’s cock to his entrance, which Kakashi was surprised to feel was already lubed. Neither had rode the other like this before, but Sasuke seemed to know what he was doing. He was gorgeous fucking himself up and down Kakashi’s cock. Kakashi liked the view. He put a hand against Sasuke’s cock so that it rubbed against Kakashi’s hand as Sasuke moved. Sasuke shifted his angle to press harder against Kakashi’s hand.

“Awake enough yet?” Sasuke breathed.

“Depends for what?”

“Fuck me properly; I always hated this position.”

Kakashi didn’t like references to Sasuke’s time as Orochimaru’s lover, but he let that go. “If I wasn’t, I am now.”

Sasuke moved onto his knees and Kakashi was on him instantly. Sasuke arched his back as Kakashi entered him again.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” Sasuke sighed.

Kakashi lightly bit Sasuke’s ear. Sasuke’s hair smelt of sweat and the smell of chemicals hung on him; Kakashi was coming to love the fragrance of those chemicals. He could tell Sasuke was tried. As their weight shifted, Kakashi felt Sasuke’s spine crack as the vertebrae slipped back into proper place. Sasuke came to him despite the fact he was exhausted. Was he as horny as Kakashi was or was he trying to make up for beating the shit out of him? Either way, it made Kakashi smile against Sasuke’s ebony hair.

After so long apart, Kakashi was torn between drawing this out and just going madman on Sasuke. He opted for drawing out slowly then thrusting back in as fast and hard as possible. Sasuke wasn’t complaining at all, pushing back with every thrust. Two minutes of this controlled pace and Kakashi lost patience, he bent over Sasuke again and picked up the pace, holding onto to Sasuke for leverage, fucking him much like a dog in a rut.

Kakashi tried not to lean too much of his weight on Sasuke since he was so tried, but he still fucked the younger man senseless. He really did, since as soon as Sasuke cam, he collapsed and hardly turned his face to the side before he was fast asleep.

Supported on outstretched arms over Sasuke’s body, Kakashi smiled down at him. He was certain that as much as Sasuke was cruel to him and did hate him deep down, Sasuke wanted a lover, not a slave. He may hate him, but Sasuke also loved him. To be so relaxed in his presence and be contrite about something he’d done before without little consideration before was as good as the words. And Kakashi knew what it was like to desperately love someone just as you hated him. His dear, precious Sasuke. Was snoring.

Kakashi would feel guilty jacking off there in bed with his sleeping lover, so he went into the bathroom to finish off. Kakashi had slept a lot recently, but he didn’t want to leave and really had nowhere to go. He turned off the light and then returned to bed.

“I am sorry for attacking you,” Sasuke said out of the darkness.

Kakashi was startled that Sasuke had woken up. “Apology accepted. Thank you.”
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