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Denial	By : djserani Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Kakashi/Sakura Views: 4298 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world or characters, I just like to torment them. Kishimoto-sensei gets to keep them permanently. (I make no money from it!)

Chapter List
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The further south they went, the warmer the weather got and by the time they made it to the second set of crossroads, it was very humid again. Despite the easy travel and warmer weather, Maiko had a bad time of it. They had to stop several times for her so she could get out of the coach, so when they saw the crossroads ahead and the tiny village complete with inn was visible, they sent up a prayer of thanks.

There were two rooms available, but this time each room only had one bed. Sakura felt relief at that and gladly took the second room for 'herself'. Maiko went straight to hers to rest and try to recover from the day, not even coming out for dinner.

Kakashi and Sakura ate quietly, both of them realizing the day had taken a toll on them, as well. The weather shift was bad enough, but the constant stops wore on them after a while. The rice and fish disappeared quickly and they sat back with their tea. "I spoke to the inn keeper. It's almost as far from here to the border of Tea as it is back to Konoha. There is only one inn between here and the border, which has its own in the village there."

Sakura sighed and nodded. "Okay. How far?"

"The next inn is nearly sixty kilometers. So, we're looking at one night camping until the next inn, if everything goes well. We'll want to have plenty of food so we don't have to�make something�on the road." He paused as Sakura snorted. "Sorry. We'll also need to see if we can't work out something better for Maiko to sleep on outside."

Sakura thought it over, staring into her tea. "She can have my mat, it's plenty warm down here, I can just sleep on my blanket."

"Well, she could have mine, too, but the nights still get cold." Kakashi sipped at his own tea.

"There's always a fire," she offered, but he was shaking his head.

"The foliage is too dense down here. We can't leave one run all night."

Sakura sighed, exasperated. "Well, then, what do you suggest?"

"We could share the blankets." He said, his eye crinkling.

Sakura couldn't have been more shocked if he'd suggested she run naked down the road in front of the carriage. She sat and blinked at him for a full minute before remembering herself. He couldn't be suggesting they sleep together in front of Maiko. "Um�"

"It makes sense. We'll have to take shifts anyway." Kakashi hurried to say. He'd seen the shock on her face and incorrectly interpreting it, he didn't want to push. It was okay for them alone. He knew that was the right thing, anyway. Well, as right as it could get, considering the whole thing with them was still wrong.

Sakura fought the disappointment. She thought for one tiny minute he was willing to be public about them. It would have been just shy of announcing that he'd loved her. But of course not. She nearly smacked her head against the table, she'd let her imagination run away with her again.

They'd been more outward, but maybe she'd been reading into it too much. Yes, he'd stayed twice. Yes, he'd kissed her twice in public. Well, sort of. If you counted behind the inn or at the campsite when everyone was asleep as 'public.'

She shoved it all away. She would have that night with him again, she was sure of it. And hadn't she learned over the last month how to take things a day at a time? Hadn't she learned to take what she could get with him?

She had no idea what would happen when they got back to the Leaf. She didn't know if she could go back to the way things had been - with him coming to her at night and leaving in the morning. But that was still a long way away. Despite the things that had changed since they left, there was still a lot up in the air. And she needed to remember that, remember that she could be happy just taking what she could.

They fell into a tense silence again, each lost in their own assumptions and conclusions. Then Sakura sighed. "I suppose we should�get some rest." She paused and looked up at him uncertainly. Would he still come to her?

"I'll...walk you to your room." Kakashi watched the relief on her face and knew that, at least this much hadn't changed. She still wanted this, at least.

So, they headed back down the hallway and paused in front of her door. She looked up at him. "You'll�" she had to clear her throat. "You'll come in?"

He couldn't even muster his normal arguments this time. He'd heard them enough, over and over in his head, and he didn't have the ability to argue them then. He nodded and was rewarded with a shy smile.

She opened the door and he stepped through with her, closing it and locking it behind them.

Sakura woke the next morning to the feel of Kakashi's lips on her. He looked up at her and smiled. "Morning."

"Dear God, don't stop." She moaned.

He grinned at her and went back to tormenting the breast he had been working on. Sakura moved restlessly on the bed, already aroused beyond reason. She had no idea how long he'd been awake, but she wasn't sure she could wait any longer. "Please, Kakashi�"

And then they weren't smiling anymore. He lost himself in her body like he did every time, loving the feel of her as she pulled his pleasure from him. "God, Sakura�" And when she flew apart, he couldn't hold on and he followed her.

They lay there, breath coming in pants, trying to remember how to simply breathe. "I like waking up like that." She smiled up at him.

A minute later, after he caught his breath, he rolled with her and leaned over her, his own smile fading. "We're not going to be able to be together tonight."

She swallowed hard. The look in his eye nearly took her breath away. Was it what she really thought it was? Was he trying to tell her he loved her?

She reached up and ran her fingers down his face. Now. She could say it and something told her he'd believe her, he wouldn't push her away. She opened her mouth, tried to force the words through, but they were stuck in her throat. She closed her lips and sighed, leaning up to kiss him instead. "Well, then, I'm glad you woke me up that way."

He smiled again and she felt the answering smile spread across her face. "I think I hear Maiko. We should get going."

She sighed and nodded. It was a different experience to get dressed with him. They were usually taking each other's clothes off. He handed her pack to her, then picked up his own clothes. Before long, they were ready and he turned to her. "I'd better go out the window."

"Right." It shouldn't bother her for him to leave that way - they really weren't supposed to be together. But it did. She pushed the thought away, then stood on tiptoes and kissed him once more before turning to her door. She swallowed hard, mustered her courage. "I love you." But when she turned around, the room was empty.

* * *

Maiko looked much better this morning. She had a bit more color to her face and was smiling widely when she saw Sakura walk into the dining room. After a quick breakfast and the purchase of food for their camp that night, they headed out.

Sakura was grateful for a relatively uneventful day. Knowing ahead of time that they would be camping, they started watching for a good spot about six hours down the road. They found a good area off the road that was big enough to park the carriage. They'd still had to break several times, but it wasn't quite as bad as the day before. The country down here, however, was wilder, more of an unknown, even with the main road running through that led into the Land of Tea.

Kakashi and Sakura stacked their mats together for Maiko and set it up the best they could. She tried to argue them down when she realized what was going on, but they managed to convince her that they'd be fine and that they were used to it. After their dinner, they set watches and settled in.

Kakashi took first shift and Sakura settled down on his blanket, pulling hers over herself. He'd been right that, despite the warm days, the evenings got plenty cold. As she snuggled down, despite him not having been under it lately, she could still smell him on it a bit. It was almost like he was there, and it helped her fall asleep.

Kakashi watched as she settled in and got comfortable. He'd spent the day going over and over what he thought he'd heard as he slipped out the window that morning. He tried to tell himself he'd heard it wrong, it couldn't have been what he thought it was.

But he knew that was bullshit. She'd told him she loved him. But that was impossible.

Why? His inner-self asked him. Why is that impossible?

Where do I start? He answered himself. He'd been over the reasons, and they were the same reasons why they weren't right together. They were the same reasons he kept telling himself not to go to her at night.

Of course, he didn't listen to them then, either. He sighed.

He wouldn't ask himself if he felt the same way. He was afraid he knew the answer and didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to think about how messed up he really was. Because if he admitted it, then he'd never be able to walk away from her. And he had to. He had to.

He pulled out his book, determined to get his mind off of it. It wasn't until he was ready to wake her that he realized he hadn't read a word. Shaking his head at himself, he moved over to her bedroll and touched her shoulder.

It took all his willpower to keep from kissing her awake. She opened her eyes and smiled. "Hi. Is it my turn?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm beat."

"Okay," she stood and stepped aside so he could settle down. "Sleep well."

He gave a half wave, then rolled over. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she stepped out of the circle of firelight to check the area. He sighed, realizing that he was going to have another hard time sleeping. The damned blankets smelled just like her.

Two hours later, Sakura woke the driver, then approached where Kakashi was sleeping. They hadn't talked about where they'd both sleep when the driver was on watch and she stared at him for a full minute, trying to decide what to do.

She was still tired, though, and knew there was no way she'd be able to stay awake all day. Sighing, she stretched out between him and the fire, which had burned down to embers. She laid her head on her arm and closed her eyes, hoping that she could sleep. A few minutes later, she was out.
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- 11
- 12
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Denial