Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Colourless Vanity	By : Cepheus Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1746 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Approach
- 2-Offer
- 3-Understand
- 4-Departure
- 5-Meeting
- 6-Truth
- 7-Control
- 8-Burning
- 9-Observing
- 10-Forming
- 11-Forcing
- 12-Portraying
- 13-Organizing
- 14-Honing
- 15-Entering
- 16-Bruising
- 17-Admitting
- 10
- 11
- 12
Note:it’s almost completely rewritten as of today, 20–12–2008, so soon enough you’ll get new chapters out :)
Cepheus:part of this chapter popped up on the page without me noticing until it was too late, but whatever. After all, who doesn’t love Kisame? :D

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Rating: M
Summary:(ItaNaru, GenmaRaidou, IruKakaIru) Naruto is tired of his life. But he would never run. He’s given an option instead, and decides to take it, becoming a member of the newest ANBU team…
Warnings:yaoi, boy x boy relationship, angsty, torture, and such. Mental as well. Flames will be used to warm up food.
Disclaimer: do not own Naruto. Thankfully. I don’t like what’s happening lately.

“Talking”
‘Thinking’
–Flashbacks, memories, dreams–

…–…–…–…–…–…–…

Colourless Vanity
Chapter 11: Forcing

Groaning, Naruto allowed his body to fall limply on his thin mattress, relieved in finally be able to rest; his whole frame ached terribly, and he was glad the day had ended.
Even though he had been in the ANBU secret grounds for a week now, he still found it hard to follow all the training his three sensei, Iruka, Itachi and Raidou, had imposed on him; Itachi’s training kept growing harder each day passing by, Iruka kept demanding him more, Raidou expecting he remembered everything perfectly.
And yet, he was also aware that this training would be naught compared to what Anko was allowed to have a go at him. The thought made him shudder.
True to his word, Itachi had trained Naruto for six whole days, following the early schedule, only shifting things around as needed for when Iruka and Raidou’s personal life prevented them from coming to the ANBU sections, and Naruto was allowed very few rests in between.
His first day with Raidou had been spent fighting one–on–one against the scarred man, simply having to attack and receive until the older shinobi was satisfied; then, Raidou had explained him what his personal style lacked, where were his faults, and what he would teach him from there on, a mixture of various Taijutsu styles until he would be able to hide his weakness and fight fair and square.
At the end of every lesson he was left in pieces and had to pick himself up to go to Iruka, who had tackled Genjutsu with him in a way that actually made it look easier to understand.
He still sucked at it, obviously, but he was finally managing to follow the man’s explanations without losing something behind, and the subject was at last making sense.
And yet… with a tired body, stressed out, aching and groaning, Naruto couldn’t be happier. He was really growing stronger, he could feel it himself –his control, his attention, everything felt easier.
Managing to lift one hand to his face, brushing on the fresh cut he found on his cheek, Naruto sighed –the week was finally coming to an end, and only now he would be able to know if he was given the chance to train under Anko for his position as an ANBU.
It was worth it.
Looking around his room, he chuckled. It took him the entire week, but now the bedroom he’d been given looked more familiar and comfortable for him; there were scrolls everywhere, shuriken and kunai in every corner, clothes he needed to wash, and wraps of food and candies he needed to throw away…
And even some books. Which was a first for him.
It felt more homey like this –a mess that belonged to him.
Another achievement was, he finally knew how to move through the maze corridors of the headquarters, even though that feat had been accomplished only after getting lost thrice in the first two days. He’d ended up using his enhanced senses to pick up scents as trail to get where he wanted, and in the end had managed to remember every turn and every direction.
Rolling around on his futon, Naruto hid his face in the pillow, muffling his sighs and simply resting, at peace; his mind was reeling at high speed though, wondering if Anko would find him acceptable to take as a student with everything he had learned in six days.
After all, as Itachi had told him over and over, he was using the first week to be trained enough to stand on his own, to place him on the same level as any other ANBU trainee of the past. Would Anko find him strong enough?
He had learned how to work on hiding his chakra every day, with Itachi making him control his chakra in every remotely possible way (trickling it out barely enough to cover a leaf, or in dangerously wide amount), making him feel what the differences between a person masking his chakra, hiding it or broadcasting it were.
He could do it, recognizing and hiding his own chakra flows.
Not completely, of course, his control was still unstable, but he knew it. Did it matter if he knew it enough to work it out or perfected the knowledge until he could do it flawlessly? This wasn’t the area he wanted to specialise into, after all.
Still, he followed every order, walking slowly up and down a tree’s length without being able to fasten his pace (a bit like back in Nami no Kuni but without the aid of speed), then training and doing Kata hanging upside–down from a tree branch, repeating each movement and each hand–sign until he had each move memorized at heart.
Iruka and Raidou had worked similarly, making him study each movement and each chakra flicker to the minimum detail, neither satisfied unless he showed his utter attention. Iruka’s specialization had not been Genjutsu, of course, but he’d still showed a deep knowledge on it, enough to drive Naruto crazy.
He had often muttered to himself that a week of repeating the same things over and over looked kind of useless to him –what good would it do to him?
And yet, only through Raidou’s lessons (which had felt endless to him) he had finally understood the reasons behind the repetitive motions. He had asked Raidou about it, remembering that he was allowed to ask any question he thought of, and the answer of the man had surprised him.
“To be a Taijutsu master, you cannot just say you know the moves. You have to be one with your style, understand each movement and know your body enough to be flawless –anything less would be a sheer disrespect towards your technique and the person who taught you”.
It was then that Naruto started to understand –why Lee and Gai loved so much to practice martial arts… why there was a need to be perfect and not just good.
It was the same with him and his determination to be the best –you couldn’t be the best if you were just good… you had to do everything perfectly, correctly, according to all the small details, things he used to think as unimportant.
Why not just with Taijutsu, but everything had to be done with all attention one could muster… because it was required and it showed the care and intention one had towards their own training and determination.
Whilst following Raidou’s teachings step by step, Naruto realised that Taijutsu was considered by its users to be an art that required time, taking each movement slowly and calmly until they were done effortlessly and flawlessly.
“Taijutsu is often looked upon by shinobi because it does not require chakra to work, so they feel as if any jutsu user would win in a spar… and yet you see what people like Gai can do –he’s currently one victory ahead of Kakashi, who has the Sharingan,”Raidou had continued, whilst showing Naruto some new Kata. “The same can be said for swordsmasters… they are frowned upon and yet any of them would take on any jutsu user without fear and be on par with them”.
In Raidou’s eyes there had been a flash of pain and Naruto had not ventured further, knowing that there was something he wasn’t supposed to butt in and accepting it.
Naruto had remembered watching Lee repeat every single kick and punch countless times before being satisfied, and had thought his was just insanity mixed with obsession… but apparently he had been wrong. Following with passion what his teacher taught him, he slowly found himself growing fonder of it.
Taijutsu was a matter of skills and practice, not chakra. Even Sasuke, who at the Chuunin exams had copied off Lee’s attack, had not been able to pull it off as well as Lee had.
Copying could not overcome a shaped body, trained to appease a Taijutsu expert.
Taijutsu required, most of all, patience. For a person who could not stay still too long, it was the perfect way to calm down and analyze things –and see how his previous attitude had been wrong. Naruto had wanted to get everything fast and quickly, and his ego had followed this path by deluding himself he was better than everyone else.
He had been wrong. To be a good ninja he would need time and a slow pace. ANBU were teaching him that, and for this he was grateful.
Same went with his Rasengan, and why it wasn’t as powerful and tame as it should be… like Jiraiya had showed him. Why it stole so much of his energy and was too wild.
He had forced himself to learn at a bad pace, when, if concentrating more, he would have learned it better.
So, despite the sheer difficulty of Raidou’s lessons, Naruto enjoyed them the most.
As for the other two’s training, apparently running up trees instead of slowly walking up and using chakra was not a good exercise in Itachi’s opinion. He had stared incredulously at him when Naruto had admitted how he and Sasuke had learned tree–walking, and had also looked stupefied they had both managed it out despite that.
The older Uchiha had also asked him to keep on walking on water (something Jiraiya, and for a few moments Ebisu as well, had taught him during the Chuunin exams).
To Naruto, this part of the training had been especially hard, more than he first thought it would be; he had given away the two hours of rest he had been allowed to take just so he could make it up for his failed attempts, and thanks to that he now knew how to administer how much chakra he needed to go through a full–day lesson.
Even if Naruto had admitted how repetitive training would help him with Taijutsu, he still wondered if it would help him much with his training with Itachi and Iruka, not knowing that the more he did the same exercises the more he would put them to memory, and they would come at him without his full attention when in need, and waste less chakra.
As it was, he was already making fast progresses, saving more of his energy each passing day; by the fourth day, he had reduced his failures by half, managing to keep himself hanging on a tree for an entire hour and managing to walk through a lake twice without falling into the water.
During Iruka’s lessons he started paying more attention, reminding himself it was for his own good, despite how mentally straining Genjutsu training was on him; thankfully, Iruka knew how to keep Naruto from dozing out, as he was his only student this time, and the teacher’s taunts about his level being lower than that of any academy student had helped a lot.
After such words, Naruto had stopped complaining.
As Iruka had explained, in battle the best way to disrupt a Genjutsu would be by applying chakra where the Genjutsu was the most effective –the head– but if this failed, against stronger or more complicated illusions, then he’d have to keep calm and fight against the apparent realism of the Genjutsu, until he was rescued by a teammate.
Naruto had grown a stronger respect towards Iruka ever since he knew the man was secretly an ANBU. To be able to hide all his strength and fake it out so well was… impressive.
Also, the blond was pretty glad that Itachi was not the one to train him with Genjutsu –with his Sharingan, it would be plain hell, and if facing it Naruto knew he would not be able to stand on his feet by the end of one lesson.
Iruka’s training also included weapon use, even if only to help Naruto be more accurate and increase his aim; it was not that horrible per se, but there was a long list of missed targets that shamed him.
As it was, good and bad sides together, he was satisfied. He couldn’t wait to start training with Anko, because that would mean he was allowed to make a further step towards his new goal –a smaller goal that meant more to him than his actual goal from before had…
To be an ANBU. Be recognized by the strongest ninja of Konoha… a step closer to his dream of being acknowledged by the whole village.
Shifting to sit up on his bed, despite his muscles aching, Naruto stretched carefully, feeling the tiredness slowly drain away from his body; even without Kyuubi’s fast healing he still managed to recover faster than normal, and his stamina helped him with that too.
Something else Naruto had noticed after a week of training was that, despite not having learned any new jutsu, he was not bothered by it.
He was learning not to be too demanding. ‘I trust my team to know when to teach me something’ he assured himself despite his slight disappointment, knowing they were older and more experienced.
Blue eyes turned towards the window at his side, and Naruto watched the darkness outside, knowing that even though there was next to none visibility, invisible in the shadows, ANBU were coming and going from the main headquarters, returning or departing for a mission; there was no light around, and they were in the middle of the forest, protected by a high–level Genjutsu, and it felt like nothing else existed.
His sight, even though slightly better than normal, could barely see the shadows flashing outside, and knew that soon enough, he would be part of them.
Another thing he lacked off was speed, but Raidou had showed an interesting reaction when Naruto had asked him if he should put on weights to gain speed and strength –he had started laughing with gusto, shocking the hell out of Naruto.
The younger shinobi had then explained about his idea, and how he had admired Lee for always wearing heavy weights on his legs and arms, but Raidou had quickly explained why it was such a bad idea to him.
“You have to consider that your body structure is different from Lee’s, and Gai’s too,”he’d told him. “Their bodies are used and familiar with weights, but if you try to use them, your body won’t move as smoothly once you get them off, because you’d end unbalanced by the sudden change of weight –it takes years to get used to wearing weights, or a training regime like Gai’s, and I don’t think you’d like that, would you?”
Which was true. So Naruto was still wondering how he would be able to get faster –unless he managed to learn Hyoo’s running technique.
Besides, an idea of himself dressed in a green (or otherwise, orange) spandex made him cringe; how had he thought it to be cool was above him to understand. Orange was still his favourite colour, but he could see why it was the worst to ambush, hide or attack enemies.
But alas, his first week in the ANBU had ended.
That meant the following day he would get to meet Anko for real as her pupil.
Closing his eyes to sleep, Naruto wondered what kind of training he would get from there on.

…–…–…–…

The room was quiet.
If anything, he was glad there had yet to be some sort of uproar, so he was trying to get as much rest as he could before the explosion came… and it would come, sooner than later.
The only thing that bothered him was the straw haired shinobi some feet away fussing over his daily cup of tea, but Kisame could ignore the man.
He was tired.
Indeed, the weight of his black cloth was coming heavier each day passing by, and it wasn’t real weight, as much as metaphorical one; Kisame was stressed, and yet wouldn’t allow any of his raging inner emotions to show on his face, for fear of being found out.
He was walking on dangerous grounds but he had to keep on, despite his worry and his twitching.
It had been a little over a week since Itachi had left the Akatsuki hideout, and Kisame spent each hour wondering when the leader would find out; when other members would finally realise that no, the young Uchiha would not come back.
That he was gone and that he had betrayed them… and then Leader would start demanding answers… answers that Kisame would not be able to give him.
Taking his eyes away from the other occupants of the room, he shifted his attention on the outside, clear from a small opening in the rocks that allowed some sun to shine inside the hideout… hideout whose position not even Itachi could give away, kept thanks to secrecy jutsu scrolls signed with the members’ blood.
Their plans had been well thought, and the solo–mission had been on time, but Kisame was anything but optimist.
How much would the alibi resist now?
“Oi, fish–face! Isn’t Itachi supposed to be back already?”
Kisame closed his eyes in annoyance, turning around to stare in distaste at the silver–haired shinobi in front of him, staring up at him almost smugly. Damn religious shitface, he thought himself superior to everyone else just because of his killing skills.
The blue skinned nuke–nin fought with his irritation –he couldn’t let anything slip.
“Not yet, Hidan” he replied, forcing a smirk on his lips and cracking his fingers together, shifting slightly so the shitface could see his Samehada. “Who knows what passes through the Uchiha’s mind? Maybe he had some problems, how would I know –I’m not his caretaker”.
Hidan scowled and titled his head, glaring at Kisame with an infuriated face. The two of them had never been exactly friendly towards each other, now more than ever since Itachi was not there to scare the religious maniac away with his Sharingan glares.
If Kisame was more truthful towards himself, he would admit he missed the young Uchiha. If only slightly.
“But it’s been a week, un” the straw haired shinobi that went by the name of Deidara, apparently stopping his petty argument with Sasori, turned his attention to him and smirked his ‘crazy smirk’. “Itachi–kun is considered one of the best and yet it takes him so much to complete this mission?”
Kisame bared his teeth.
“Do I look like his babysitter, Deidara? I don’t fucking care where the hell Itachi is, and as sure as hell he can take care of himself,” he sneered, sweating slightly at the thought of Leader suddenly coming into the room.
It wouldn’t do.
Deidara laughed shrilly, but shrugged uncaringly, his clipped laugh making shivers run down Kisame’s back. Akatsuki had become a group of freaks…
‘There again, I am nothing different either,’he reminded himself.
After all, Akatsuki was the only place someone like him could go. with his past, and knowing who the leader of his village was, there was no other way –despite his protests, Akatsuki was his home. It had been so for the last, what, ten years or so?
And the fact that he was the only one in Akatsuki that had known of Itachi’s secret mission since the start had nothing to do with his uneasiness, or the slight bitterness that accompanied him daily; Kisame would never have a second chance, and he would surely as hell not accept it either, knowing his ego and pride, and he would keep away from his village as much as he could…
But Itachi was young. So younger than he was. Itachi had a place to go back. There was still a chance for him, and Kisame was too old to not see things this way.
Kisame had been appointed to look after Itachi during the dark haired teen’s first months in the organization, and then afterwards, as his partner, and despite the difference in power between the two, Kisame still considered Itachi as something more than a killer machine –he had seen the young boy behind.
Maybe he and the young Uchiha were not the best of friends, but something similar… they were mates. They could understand each other… and that was the only reason Kisame would cover up for him. Until Itachi was safe in Konoha and there would be no backlash for him.
Kisame maybe would never feel for his organization, but he had accepted Akatsuki was where he was going to stay, and die. But this was not, would not be, Itachi’s place. So despite his preaching and annoyance and anger at himself for wanting to protect a person that would never need it…
And yet…
And yet, until Itachi would be deemed dead and he would be safe to relax, Kisame would keep up all of this, against Akatsuki.
Against the Leader.
Kisame glared at yet another Akatsuki member appearing in the room, scribbling on a block–notes with a cheap pencil and fought the urge to roll his eyes.
This was Kakuzu –he was probably writing down how much money he would save thanks to Itachi missing from the hideout, and Kisame fought hard the urge to go tell the stingy man that there would be a person less to pay for in Akatsuki from there on.
Managing to turn his grimace into a sarcastic smirk, Kisame straightened up again.
As long as Itachi needed it, he would keep his cover.
And hopefully there would be no need to be afraid of the leader, either.

…–…–…–…

Naruto groaned as he followed Itachi towards the training grounds, where Anko was supposedly waiting for him; he was tired, since he spent the night with nightmares of Hyoo telling him how he had failed to meet the ANBU expectances and would be sent back to Konoha, only to be woken up by the dark haired man, who had noticed the change in his chakra flow.
Then, Naruto had been reassured about it –Anko had followed his training through Itachi, Iruka and Raidou’s reports and had accepted to train him as her pupil for the remaining month at the ANBU headquarters.
Naruto wasn’t sure what Anko would teach him, but it couldn’t turn his mood for the worse, not after having received such good news from Itachi.
“You should be aware, Naruto, that today your test to get into our troops is going to start,” Itachi stated, making the blond look up at him with concentration. “It will be three weeks under Anko’s commands, she will keep you for how long she wants, and you will have to obey her without fail… when she sets a time for you to be out of her way, you will revert to your daily discipline of training and if my schedule admits it, I will keep training you –the same goes for Iruka and Raidou”.
Naruto nodded eagerly, showing his understanding.
“You will have to follow her orders and you will have to be ready to answer at her call, no matter if it’s the middle of the night or an ungodly hour of the morning,” there was a flicker of amusement in the dark eyes and Naruto recognized it. “Believe me, with Anko that could probably happen more frequently than you could think”.
Naruto cleared his throat, knowing that Itachi’s warning words were probably close to the truth –things would be hectic with such an insane person teaching him.
“During the following three weeks, Anko will examine you throughout your training and will have the last word over your possible acceptation in the ANBU ranks” Itachi continued, not looking at Naruto. Then he stopped, seeming to hesitate for a moment, and turned around, staring into Naruto’s eyes.
The blond halted as well, waiting for Itachi to speak up his mind; during the week, he had started to appreciate the silent company of the older Uchiha, that sometimes did remind him of Sasuke, and yet was a completely different person –for once, Itachi did not brood, and did talk when he had to explain things… even if small talk was quite rare.
Naruto was glad he had been able to reconsider his first opinion on the older Uchiha heir, especially since he now knew that he was innocent. The fact that Hyoo had trusted him to know despite his status as a trainee and not yet a full fledged member of the ANBU had spurred him to be strong enough that Hyoo would not be deluded.
“Naruto–” the older man started.
Suddenly, both Itachi and Naruto’s senses flared up in warning, and they moved away in a flash, in the exact moment a giant boulder slammed down on the spot the two had occupied till a second before.
A giant cloud of smoke and dirt covered everything around them.
“Eh–” Naruto tried to speak out of shock, surprised he’d actually felt the attack coming, but the smoke got into his throat, chocking him.
In front of his eyes, barely in the restricted area he could still see, a clawed arm popped up and tried to hit him on the face; he stepped back instinctively, paring the next blow with his right arm and managing to have a closer look at the claws extending from the wrist and over the fingers.
The weapon… it looked incredibly familiar but he had no time to ponder over it as they retreated back in the cloud of dirt, disappearing from view.
Naruto was stumped –he couldn’t see anything yet, and he had a feeling the cloud around would not fade soon enough. He had to rely on his senses to determine where the attacker was and when they would strike him.
Again, he felt something shift at his side, and had only a split second before the claws slashed at him again, cutting four red lines in his arm; Naruto hissed but did not panic, swirling around to do control–damage, blocking the second blow with his elbow with a bit of strain.
The arms retreated again.
Naruto projected his senses out, but could feel nothing.
The claws struck again and again, making Naruto spin faster to keep up with the ferocious attacks, evading them as much as he could, unable to attack back because he could not sense his enemy.
When would help was to be able to sense the opponent’s chakra like Itachi had taught him, but to be able to do that during training and in battle were two completely different things altogether –he had no time to concentrate and block everything else out, and yet… he had to work it out.
Itachi would never teach him an useless skill.
The claws slashed at him again whilst he was lost in his thoughts, and this time Naruto wasn’t fast enough to block them –they cut through his clothes, leaving four deeper marks than the ones he received previously.
“Ngh–” he resisted the urge to cry out, knowing it would only attract more attention on himself. The cloud around him wasn’t wavering and was still high, so that meant it was a…
‘It’s a fucking jutsu!’he hissed to himself, narrowing his eyes in anger and biting on his lower lip in a vain attempt to calm himself down.
It couldn’t be a Genjutsu, as Naruto had started to recognize the telltales of the prickling skin Genjutsu caused him.
Then what? It felt similar to the Kirigakure no jutsu Zabuza had used back in Nami, but this one was with soil and dirt instead…
‘Kuso –if I cannot use my chakra without concentrating, how the hell am I supposed to find the enemy? I’ve not been training hard enough!’he chastised himself, shaking his head. Clutching at his bleeding arm, Naruto racked his mind for a way out.
The claws flashed at him again and again, missing him as he dropped low on the ground, spinning and rolling over to get out of the way.
‘Damn it!’
He had no way to start feeling out for chakra, and it was useless! But if the attacks continued, then…
‘No! I have to do it! I cannot show my weakness now! I have to prove myself and I won’t waste it! I won’t!’
His chakra flared up for a second and he pushed it down as much as he could, covering it with a mental blanket, hiding it with all his strength. There was a chance he could make it if he used a Kage Bunshin and lowered his chakra enough to make it look like he was a replica as well…
His grip on his chakra loosened and to his surprise, the moment he joined his hands to create a Bunshin, he suddenly felt a presence come at him from his left.
‘What–’
He had no time to think as the enemy attacked.
But this time, Naruto smirked –he would analyze what had happened later on, but as for now, he had to fight with the enemy and…
“It’s enough!” Itachi’s voice, coming from somewhere behind him, was calm, but Naruto had a vague feeling the raven haired shinobi was not as calm as his tone suggested. His chakra spiked up. “Chou Kamaitachi no Jutsu!”
A strong wind suddenly knocked the breath out of Naruto as he was pushed from behind and in a matter of seconds, the cloud around him was gone, disintegrated by the force of the wind.
Naruto blinked the dust out of his eyes and turned around, looking at Itachi, who was walking imposingly towards him. The Uchiha heir had this look in his eyes that promised pain, and Naruto let out a shudder.
Shifting his attention where the dark orbs were pointing at, Naruto noticed the person that had attacked him –the owner of the clawed weapons, wearing a hebi mask on top of her head.
“Anko–san, care to explain the reasoning for your actions?” Itachi’s voice was pretty cold. He was not amused.
The woman’s reply was a smirk. “Unexpected attack, of course! It made him feel what it means to be in battle and use quick logic”.
Itachi furrowed his eyebrows. “That is fine, however… you interrupted my speech” he growled out.
Naruto vaguely thought he looked pretty sulky.
Both ANBU stared at each other, neither willing to give up, Anko smiling dangerously and Itachi using his glare, and Naruto looked from one to the other with wide eyes.
Then he started to laugh. He couldn’t really stop himself, but the scene was quite amusing and to hear Itachi complain because he’d been interrupted, of all things…
Anko and Itachi turned towards him, and Naruto gulped down his laugh in fear, shocked by their expressions; but then, Anko shook her head and laughed out loud as well, throwing her head back as she did so.
‘Weird woman’Naruto had the distinct feeling that Itachi was thinking the same, and yet the dark eyes were flickering with amusement as well.
“Naruto, good luck,” with these parting words as his only goodbye, Itachi vanished in a swirling spiral of leaves, leaving behind Naruto with a smirking Anko.
“Well brat, you might have started to think the proper way,” Anko smirked at him in a way that sent bad vibes through Naruto’s body. “I saw it –you were planning on a Kage Bunshin whilst lowering your chakra, were you?”
Naruto stared at her in surprise –had he been that clear to read? Besides, how the hell was she able to see whilst into the dust cloud?
“Well, I’m not an ANBU just because I’m cute, you know” Anko’s smile turned feral, daring the blond to answer, so he didn’t, simply gulping down his uneasiness and nodding. “You had an inventive idea, I must admit that, had I not been controlling you this close, your idea would have worked. Of course you’d need more practice with your chakra control before it does work as well as you want it too, but it was a good thinking”.
Naruto felt his liking for the woman increase just the slightest bit –this was as close to a compliment as he could get from her.
“First of all, brat, you have to pay attention to something,” Anko stated.
Without warning, something in the woman’s stance changed completely. Naruto was assaulted by a deep wave of panic that caused him to scramble backwards in shock, hands vaguely trembling. He had felt something like this only a few times, when fighting Orochimaru at the Chuunin exams and then when facing Kyuubi… he knew what it was.
It was killer intent.
Unable to move, but not completely frozen, Naruto fought the urge to back away more and tried to still his hands. The moment the killer intent disappeared, Naruto fell on the ground, stunned. “What the…?”
“Well, it seems you have a mild resistance to my killer intent, brat –I didn’t use it at its full power, but it was a good feat for you to not weep and fall on the ground whilst it lasted. It seems you have more guts –or more stupidity– than I thought”.
Naruto growled and stood up, but a lifted finger from his new mentor stopped him.
“You will have to get used to this, because if you freeze like this in battle, it’s your death. Later on during this three weeks, I will probably see if you’re fit to learn how to exude your own killer intent, but until then, work on trying to successfully fight off mine”.
There it was again –Naruto felt a wave of killer intent wash over him, paralyzing his body despite his best efforts. The feeling was… it felt as if he had in front of him a strong predator that would surely slaughter him, and his mind supplied him with clear mental pictures about how that would happen.
He wanted to fight it, but his body was not responding.
“You don’t seem to be making any effort, though” Anko accentuated her words with a blatantly overdone roll of her eyes. “Three weeks might not be enough for you to get into ANBU then… you’re so below basic level…”
Naruto felt anger bubble inside the pit of his stomach. How could she say something like this, when he was trying with all his might! He wasn’t backing down, and he growled, shifting his head and trying to ignore the deep fear Anko’s killer intent was causing him.
“What about your own strength then –I’ve seen you use Kyuubi… what about you?” Anko continued, still projecting her intent at him. “Is there something good aside the power of a demon? Huh? Or are you one of those scaredy–cats?”
Naruto growled suddenly, the words hitting something inside him, reminding him of a time when he had actually being a scared child –up until he had started fighting off.
“I’m not scared!” he yelled, gritting his teeth against a vaguely stronger wave of killer intent. Anko smirked.
“Then why are you trembling? Why are your legs shaking as such… why are you still? Why are you not attacking me, forcing me to stop? You’re weak, gaki. This is proof of your weakness!”
“I’m not weak!” he yelled back, and yet, he could not move, and deep down he had to admit the opposite.
Naruto lowered his gaze for a moment, still paralyzed, and cursed against himself. He was weak. Or at least, he was right now. He couldn’t even fight off a killer intent that was not at its best, as Anko had said. It was as if all his work had been for naught…
Anko stared closely as Naruto’s trembling intensified, and yet she knew clearly this kind of shaking was not due to fear anymore; the younger teen was angered with himself because he was not able to overcome her.
‘Still so weak!’
The snake user bit her lower lip, weighting her options; on one side, she didn’t want to give anything to the teen unless he deserved it, but on the other side, she knew exactly what he was going through, what he was thinking, and she knew he was stuck there, willing or not.
She had to clear things down a bit…
And she knew he needed at least this explanation.
Besides, if he was enough angered to convert his trembling into fits of rage, he did deserve at least this.
She stopped sending her killer intent, watching as Naruto kept still, standing, the trembling not subsiding. He was still chastising himself, apparently.
“Gaki” she spit out, disdain clear in her voice. “listen me out. Now.”
The blond’s eyes widened and he hastily gave her his whole attention, knowing she meant business.
“You are a shinobi” she started. Inwardly, Anko groaned. She was not the best person to tackle such subjects, and yet she was the only one available. Damn it. “But gaki, look at yourself, and look at me”.
Naruto blinked, unsure of why she was saying that.
“You are a Genin. Ignore what’s inside you, and everything. You are a Genin. You are expected not to be able to do certain things shinobi with more experience can do. When Kakashi tested you, three Genin against a Jounin, the difference in power was abysmal. Even a Chuunin of mid–power can beat the shit out of you without problems… well, unless you have a higher strength and only miss the qualification formality to up a notch”.
Naruto frowned, still confused. Anko groaned, this time aloud.
“It is obvious you have still a lot to do to be able to be as strong as I am. No one expects you to do it at the first try. Nor at the second, or third. You cannot overcome my killer intent now. You lack experience of battle, experience of life, and strength. Becoming strong is a slow process. It’s annoying, nasty, aggravating… but there are no shortcuts”.
Naruto looked away from her, lowering his gaze on the ground again. The words were familiar to him –he had said the same things to Konohamaru once. And yet, he had forgot about that. he had demanded to himself things he couldn’t possible know.
“That is why I demand of you just a notch more than you can do –this is the only way to improve. Know your own limits and try to move a bit further, but without demands you cannot meet yet. Your standards will grow with your strength, but first you have to be honest with yourself” she continued.
The same words had been said to her once, so many years ago it felt a life away, and yet it was barely a decade before.
Bittersweet.
Blue eyes met with hers and she steeled her resolve.
“You are not properly weak. It’s a wrong way to phrase it. But you will grow really strong only if you first learn to accept your weaknesses without berating yourself for what you can’t do yet”.
Naruto slowly nodded.
“There is… another thing,” the blond turned towards Anko again, and found her strangely shifty. “It’s ok to be scared. If you were not scared, it would be bad. It would mean you’re getting used to battles. To death. It would mean… you were trying to overcome human boundaries”.
Naruto was startled, more than by the woman’s words, by her tone. It was almost contemplative, reproaching, but not towards him. it was self–accusing. As if she knew exactly what she was talking about.
“Fear is a human emotion. What we do when we fight killer intent is to stare at what makes us afraid, and accept the fact, and still be able to do our best. It’s not about overestimating your own power, or underestimating the enemy. But we don’t fight the fear, we accept and control it, and channel it. Fear makes your senses sharper, makes you attentive to your surroundings. Makes you cautious,” Anko continued.
A flash of Orochimaru’s face appeared in the back of her head, and she gritted her teeth in anger. Her own teachings were hard on herself, too. She wasn’t someone who could accept and control her emotions pretty well.
Naruto was, in a way similar to her. He had hard time masking his emotions, they were too clear in his eyes. Anko had found that by broadcasting her bloodlust and brashness to the maximum she could hide her other emotions, fooling her enemies.
They had to find a way to help Naruto do the same. No ninja could live long unless they managed to learn how to control what they allowed others to see of themselves.
“When you feel fear in a battle but manage to control it and still fight at your best… this is a goal for you. That is the true meaning of being strong, brat,” she mumbled, concluding her awkward speech.
Naruto closed his eyes, nodding. Her words… opened so many paths for his mind to venture into that he had to back away and calm down. This was not the time to start pondering over everything…
“Gah!” Anko scrubbed her hair hard with one hand, looking to the side. She didn’t like these things, and was barely any good at speeches! Action, she would do it gladly. But speeches…
And yet, it made sense in Naruto’s eyes, and somehow Anko’s words calmed him down, soothing not his ego per se, but his guilt for his weakness.
‘I guess I was still asking too much of myself even though I already knew I needed to move my pace,’he sighed. he kept making mistakes, but it made him feel better, knowing people were looking out for him.
Even understanding him. And he didn’t think Anko was comfortable with what she had told him either.
“I’ve made a fool of myself so many times it’s painful to even think back about it,” the snake user looked at the blond, whose eyes were fixed on her. “I’ve been afraid of so many things, and I always cursed my weakness, my inability to be strong… I tried to overdo things, overlooking the details… I won’t do it again”.
Anko nodded silently.
“I will stop condemning myself. I am not weak anymore compared to what I was, but I still am not strong as I want to –I want to learn. Grow up, grow strong with my own will. Dominate my fears and use them, like strong ninja like you, Itachi, Hyoo nii–san… and Ero–sennin, and Obaa–chan do!”
The teen’s blue eyes suddenly lit up again, making Anko smirk in satisfaction.
“That’s the spirit, kiddo!” she laughed loudly, dispelling the uncertain mood of moments before. “Never think you can do less than you actually can, but learn your limits and don’t push too much”.
Naruto had no time to ponder over it all, because once again, without warning, a wave of killer intent flew against him.
Naruto staggered behind again, once more lost and frozen under the stare, but this time he did not fight it. He fought against the need to fight it, and let the fear wash over him. it was dangerous. It was wild. It shattered something inside him that rattled and yelled for him to run… some primal, strong instinct yelling –runrunrunrunescapeandrundanger!
He didn’t.
With trembling hands, Naruto opened his eyes, bit down on his lips, and accepted the fear.
‘I am afraid, but that does not mean… that I am weak’.
There would always be comparisons. He was weak, compared to a stronger, more experienced shinobi. But compared to his self of a year before, he wasn’t as weak. He had learned things, met people, grow up a bit. Compared to other Genin, he was not weak.
He would learn how to win his fear.
“Brat,” Anko smirked, vaguely pleased by the defiance in Naruto’s stance, and let the killer wave end. “Teaching you about this will come later. Now is not the right time, we have to concentrate on other things”.
Naruto shakily straightened up and nodded.
“Yes, Anko–sensei!”
There were so many things to learn, though, that Naruto wasn’t sure he’d be able to get them all. Even though he had a good start on –at least he believed so, since so many teachers were devoting their time for him.
But the real problem wouldn’t be learning how to dispel the killer instinct… but how to do it himself.
Naruto had never thought it would come handy to scare people away. He had always thought he would never be able to, that he didn’t need to –didn’t want to.
“Frighten opponents in battle, even when they don’t seem affected and still fight you, will always allow a small percentage of wide, open chance,” Anko straightened her back, popping her bones. “They might do something wrong because they haven’t practiced with controlling their fear. No matter how strong your concentration and will are, sometimes even the best can slip”.
Naruto winced, understanding the reasoning.
“The most innocuous shinobi can hide the strongest killer intent. They talk, act like poor idiots, and then in battle, they show their real face. That you were the fool. But let’s put aside this for now. We have a lot of work to do”.
“Hai, sensei!” he repeated, waiting for her orders.
“I’d say, run around the headquarters… hmmm… fifty times. Yes, that will be enough,” Anko’s face twisted into a satisfied grin, and Naruto blinked in surprise, baffled by the opposite contrast of her words and her face.
“That’s not…” he started to say, but before he could add ‘hard at all’, the woman’s smirk had turned even more feral, and she was flashing her hands into seals.
“Like this,” she stated smugly.
Suddenly something around Naruto shifted, and without any further notice other than a soft prickling of his skin, Naruto felt like a giant hand had slammed over him, pushing him down. His body felt… heavy, really heavy, until the point he could barely keep his head up.
“Wha… what the hell is this?!” he gasped out, unable to lift arms and legs more than a few inches.
“I used a jutsu on you!” Anko replied, cheering. “I made it so the air around your body is impregnated of my chakra, and it will make your body’s gravity twice as hard as you’re used to”.
“Ah…” Naruto was no genius, and yet he could use his brain, if it was required of him… and since his coming into the ANBU headquarters he had been forced to use it more than usual. Meaning he got quicker to point out stuff than ever before. “But then… how could I breathe?”
Anko nodded in satisfaction at him. “You’re not stupid as I was told, then… well, this is Genjutsu, of course. Your body feels like you’re in a gravity bind but you are not into one. You will only feel enough pressure for it to be heard to breathe, but it won’t compromise anything”.
Naruto groaned, feeling his shoulders ache. This was a damn Genjutsu he did not like one bit.
“Well, what are you doing still here? I remember telling you to run… and beware, if you don’t keep a pace of at least one lap every three minutes, I will add one for each miss… and I’m being nice here!”
Naruto blanched out.
So much for ‘not hard at all’.

…–…–…–…–…–…–…

Cepheus:so, another chapter done. I’ll try to speed up the training a bit, but be aware we’re not jumping to the ‘three years later’ part anytime soon. Most of the interesting things happen before that, you see.
Please review? It’d make me happy :D
Glossary: (have patience if you know most of those, some might still do not)
Kirigakure no Jutsu–‘hidden in the mist technique’, creates a thick mist around both the user and his enemies. It expands the humidity in the air making it heavy. Kirigakure is also the name of the Hidden in the Mist village (Kirigakure no sato, where sato means village).
Kuso– still meaning shit XD
Chou Kamaitachi no Jutsu– makes the wind blow so strongly it can dispel huge clouds of dirt, and similar.
Kata– movements of martial arts. Stances.
- 10
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