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Hidden Heartache	By : shiinechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2057 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Disclaimer: Naruto
doesn�t belong to me and I will be making no money
from this story. This is simply a work of fiction by a fan.
Pairings: SasuNaru, one-sided GaaraNaruto, plus others
Warnings: Yaoi, angst, mpreg OOC, language, Naruto�s POV
Thanks to mystiewolf for the great beta read.

Hidden Heartache
Chapter 11

�What are you talking about?�
Gaara demanded. �I know you�re worried about your friend, but that�s no reason
to cause problems here.�

Gaara sounded sincere as he
addressed Shikamaru. I would have been convinced, but Shikamaru stared at him.
He wasn�t buying it, but he didn�t say anything. Maybe he was dumbfounded by
Gaara�s pretend ignorance, or he was waiting for Gaara to say something else,
but it was Temari who spoke. �Gaara you can�t hide the truth,� she said in a
kind and understanding voice. She looked around the place before speaking
again. �Let�s go inside.�

We followed her advice and
went in. Relocating gave me a few minutes to calm myself and try to regain control
of my breathing. With problems like this happening, there was no way to keep my
blood pressure down. As we climbed the stairs, I thought about the situation,
nothing could change the fact that Shikamaru knew the truth, not even Gaara.
Shikamaru was too smart to fall for anything and he had the proof in his hand.

�Takafumi invited us into his office and then
gave some assurances. �Here no one will interrupt us,� he said. Then he
indicated with his hand for us to sit, but no one moved toward the seats. I
nodded to be polite and to show that I heard him and then waited for someone to
talk. Maybe I should have said something, but Gaara warned me to be quiet. In
the end, this was still Gaara�s plan, and if he wanted to try to salvage it,
then I would do my part.

Gaara broke the silence. �I
understand you�re worried about your friend and you want to see him in places
where he isn�t, but you can�t come in here and make accusations.�

Shikamaru looked bored and
slightly irritated. �This necklace is priceless. It�s one of a kind and it
belongs to Naruto.� He paused and waited for a response but Gaara didn�t cave.
Gaara listened, giving no indication that anything was wrong and stood in front
of Shikamaru not backing down. The Kazekage was completely unreadable. �This
can easily be settled,� Shikamaru said in a challenging voice.� He turned toward me before speaking again.
�Remove the mask,� he commanded.

My eyes widened, and even
behind the mask, my shock was evident. Shikamaru smiled. Everything I did,
pointed to the truth. �Gaara,� Temari said. �Shikamaru cares about Naruto. He
just wants to talk to him.��

Gaara looked deep in thought.
After a moment he said, �I hope you find your friend but you won�t do it here.
Now it�s time to leave. These people have been disturbed enough. We�ll continue
the conversation back at my office.� At that point, I knew Gaara would never
betray me, and he wouldn�t admit to anyone that I was here, even if it was
obvious. Everyone in this room knew the truth, but he would lie and continue to
hide me because he�d promised to protect me, and he didn�t care about the
consequences. Gaara�s actions could lead to war, and that was too high a price
to pay.
Shikamaru ignored Gaara and
directed his attention towards me. �I just want to talk to you Naruto,� he
said. �I want to help you, but if you force me to leave without an explanation,
then I have to go to the Hokage. Other people will come here and force you back
to Konoha and they won�t be nice about it.�

He was right. I placed my hand
on Gaara�s shoulder. He looked at me but I shook my head no. I pulled off the
mask. It was no longer useful anyway. �Hi Shikamaru,� I said in a light cheery
voice.

Shikamaru stared at me for
the longest time and I stood in front of him looking down to avoid his eyes.
�It�s about time someone found you. Do you have any idea what you�ve done?� he
asked.

Shikamaru didn�t sound angry
but sad, and I could tell he was a little shocked by the outcome, but I was
hurt by his question. I knew what leaving would do and for him to ask that
showed he didn�t think highly of me. He didn�t know how much it hurt to go. I
no longer had a home or a life. My dream was lost. �Yes I know what I�ve done,�
I said with a slight bitterness in my voice, as I kept my head lowered. I
couldn�t look at him because I didn�t want to face the betrayal and
sorrow.�

He sighed. �You can�t run
forever.� His voice was steady and betrayed no emotion.

Shikamaru and I have known
each other since we were children, so it was easy for him to guess my
intentions or maybe I was predictable. He was right though. The moment I�d left
I had planned on never going back. He guessed that and he was telling me that I
didn�t have a choice. He was taking away my option to run, and if he had to, he
would try to take me back by himself, but right now that couldn�t happen. �I�m
sorry but I can�t go back,� I said and walked out. I couldn�t have this
conversation now. My mind knew I was still running away, but I told myself I
was putting distance between us.

Since Shikamaru knew, that
made this place unsafe. Soon I would have to leave again, but I had nowhere to
go. If I had been stronger, I would have ran out the door and disappeared, but
I couldn�t take care of myself and the few months I spent on my own proved
that. When I arrived at my room, I curled up on top of the bed and tried to
calm down and think of a solution.� The
more I thought the more upset I got. Thankfully, Gaara entered the room. �He
wants to talk to you alone,� he said.

Happiness and relief filled
me. I needed Gaara�s strength and that surprised me. In such a short time, I
had completely started to rely on him. I felt guilty about it and had to say
something. �Gaara, I�m sorry. Everything�s ruined.�

�Don�t worry about it. I will
fix it but you need to do something too. Can you convince your friend not to
say anything or to give you more time?� Gaara asked.

I thought about it. Shikamaru
wasn�t tied down by the rules. He acted on what he thought was best. �If I tell
him the truth, then he might keep it a secret.� I said.
�Maybe that�s the only way.�
Gaara said, �But it�s your choice. If I have to, I will find another place for
you to go.�

I now knew that Gaara would
do whatever it took to keep me safe, but I had to do something for myself. I sat
up. �Can you send him in?� I asked.

�Do you want me to stay?�
Gaara asked.

I needed to start taking
responsibility for my own life and start to handle things on my own. �No I�ll
be ok.�

As Gaara left, Shikamaru
entered.� �It�s not like you to hide,� he
said.

I snorted. �Well I�m not
hiding now. You found me, so what are you going to do?� There was desperation
in my voice. I needed to know what he planned to do and the more time that
passed without an explanation the more hopeless I felt. Gaara thought I could
convince Shikamaru to keep this a secret; a part of me agreed with his opinion
but another part didn�t think it was possible besides if he knew too much and
told people then I would be more vulnerable.

�I don�t know. It depends on
what you have to say. I need to know what is going on,� Shikamaru said.

I needed more than that. �No
I can�t tell you. If you�re going to tell people I�m here, then it�s better for
me if you don�t know. Will you trust me and believe that I had a reason to
leave,� I said. I was desperate, but I knew he wouldn�t walk away without an
explanation, yet I had to try.

�Trust works both ways,�
Shikamaru said. His eyes narrowed as if challenging me to disagree. �You can�t
ask for someone to trust you without showing you trust them in return.� I
thought about what he said as he continued to speak. �How about we negotiate?�
he asked.

�Negotiate? How? Shikamaru, I
can�t stop you from telling people I�m here and I won�t go back. What is there
for me to negotiate with? I can�t tell you everything. You wouldn�t understand
and then you would know and everything would be worse.� Maybe he understood
what I was saying but I couldn�t be sure.

Shikamaru looked deep in
thought while processing my words. �Do you know how many people are worried
about you and want to help you? They�re looking for you because they care, but
do you see us as friends? I need your trust too,� Shikamaru said.

He had a point. I�ve been
alone all my life, and couldn�t let myself believe in others. Shikamaru sounded
sincere. Could I trust him? The doubt was still there but it was always there.
I had a lot at stake.� �I can�t take that
chance,� I said. Now I had something important to protect. I wasn�t alone
anymore.

He sighed, �Naruto, I want to
help you, but I can�t if you don�t tell me what�s going on.� I felt guilty and
looked down. Maybe he could help. Gaara thought I could convince him to keep my
secret. Shikamaru saw the doubt and continued. �I can�t guarantee that I won�t
tell people you�re here, but anything you tell me in confidence will be kept a
secret. I�m not obligated to share your reasons for leaving.�

I thought about what he said.
He had a point. I left Konoha without trusting anyone. In a way, I had betrayed
the people closest to me. For us to be real friends we had to trust each other.
Shikamaru was reaching out, but I had to take the first step. In the end, I
decided to trust him. He would evaluate my reasons and decide what to do. Even
if he told people where to find me, he would keep my secret. �I can�t go back,
Shikamaru. It wouldn�t be safe.�

�What do you mean?� he asked.

�Do you know about Kyuubi?�
Before I could share my story, I had to know what he knew. If he didn�t know, I
would judge his reaction to the news before moving on. The possibility existed
that the fox would disgust him, and if that happened, there was no point in
continuing this conversation.�

�Naruto everyone knows. It�s
common knowledge now. After you left, they told everyone and it doesn�t
matter,� Shikamaru said.

I processed what he said. I
thought about Sasuke knowing and I wanted to know his reaction to the news, so
without thinking I asked. �How did Sasuke take it?� I realized the mistake as
soon as those words left my lips and tried to fix the problem. �And Sakura,� I
added but it still sounded like an afterthought.

�Sasuke�s been looking for
you. In the beginning, he didn�t go on any missions and spent his time
searching.� Then Shikamaru smiled and added, �Oh, and Sakura�s looking for you
too, but she continued to train and accept missions.� He too made the last part
seem like an afterthought.

�Now why did you leave?� he
asked.

This would be hard, but I�d
decided to tell him the truth. �I had to go. I heard the council talking about
Kyuubi and forcing me to stay in the village like I was a prison, and they were
planning to isolate me from everyone else,� I said.

He thought about that. �They
were just talking. It wasn�t decided right?� he asked.

�Tsunade wasn�t going to
allow it, but I don�t know if she could have stopped them forever. The council
said other things. They thought Kyuubi was a problem, and they hated and feared
the fox�s power.� I paused before continuing, mostly to gather my courage
before saying the difficult part. �Right now I can�t protect myself. My chakra
has been weakening for months, so I had to get away while I could,� I said to
explain my rash decision to leave.

�Are you sick?� he asked
looking concerned.

There was no easy way to say
it. �It�s worse then that. I�m not sick and it�s going to be hard for you to
understand. I�m pregnant.� I blurted the last part out. I watched his
expression closely as his concern changed into shock.

�Naruto that�s impossible,�
he said.

Of course, for normal people
it was. �Not with Kyuubi,� I responded.

�I still don�t get it. I understand what you�re saying but it�s not possible,�
he said.

There was still a piece of
the puzzle missing. �I�m not attracted to women and Kyuubi knew that and still
wanted to reproduce so the fox used my body to do it.� I explained.

�So the child is yours and
Kyuubi�s?� he asked.

Now I saw where his thoughts
were going and I cringed. �No genetically it�s mine and someone else�s.
Kyuubi�s chakra is what keeps the baby alive.

He processed the information.
�Ok but why leave. Sure some people will think it�s strange but to go in your
weakened condition was dumb.�

The person before me was the
smartest person I�d ever met, but he still didn�t see the danger and he
couldn�t imagine the hatred. �Shikamaru, everyone despises Kyuubi. If the
council found out, they wouldn�t let my baby be born.��

Shikamaru eyes widened and he
finally understood what I was saying. �Maybe you�re right.�

�I didn�t have a choice. I
couldn�t take the chance,� I said.

�Naruto you have to learn to trust
people,� Shikamaru responded. There was silence in the room. �What are your
long term goals?� he asked.

I thought about it, but I
didn�t have a definite answer. I knew going back wasn�t an option. In the end,
there was only one thing that mattered. ��I just want the baby to be born healthy and
strong. All the rest of the planning can wait.�

Shikamaru nodded. He walked
towards the window. �I don�t have to tell anyone I found you. At least not
yet,� he said.

�Thanks,� I said.

�Look Naruto, this is an
unconventional situation. You need to be under a doctor�s care.�

�I have a doctor,� I
interrupted. This place here has a medical facility.

�I�m still worried, but I
will help you. However, if your life is in danger or you�re not getting the
medical treatment you need, I won�t hesitate to change that. I will make sure
you receive the help you deserve,� Shikamaru said.

I wanted to reassure him.
�Gaara said this place is fine and I trust his judgment.�

�I don�t know if I can keep
this secret forever. But if I tell people where to find you, it will be after
the baby�s born and you have my word I won�t mention the child unless it�s an
emergency. If I decide not to keep your secret, I will give you plenty of
warning. I won�t do anything without telling you first. That�s the only thing I
can promise,� he said.

I knew he would keep his word
and he would act in my best interests. Even if I disagreed or tried to stop
him, he would discuss it with me first. I didn�t have to worry about Shikamaru
sending ninjas in the middle of the night to force me back to Konoha �Why help
me?� I asked.

�Because were friends, and if
you want to have your baby here, I won�t interfere, but after the baby�s born,
you will have to make important decisions. A life on the run isn�t fair to an
innocent child.�

I tried not to think beyond
the baby�s birth. Of course, he made sense, but I didn�t want to worry about it
now. �I�m taking things one day at a time. If I handle too many things at once,
it gets too stressful and the doctor doesn�t like that.� I said in a joking
manner.

Shikamaru smiled back.
�There�s one more thing I want to know. Who�s the father?�

�Please don�t make me answer
that.� I said, praying he would drop the subject.

�It�s somebody from our
village?� he asked and I nodded. He must have saw the terror and fear because
he didn�t press it. �Whatever, it doesn�t really matter besides I have a pretty
good idea.�

�I doubt that,� I said. He
would be clueless about these things.

He looked straight at me before speaking. �It�s Sasuke�s.� He said it as a
statement not as a question with certainty in his tone.

I gasped. My mouth wouldn�t
move and I started to have trouble breathing. �How?� I asked.

�Calm down,� he ordered.
�Naruto your relationship with him is strange. It�s obvious something is going
on. Does he know? I can�t imagine he would let you leave caring the Uchiha
heir.�

I hate showing weakness but
hiding things was harder these days. I felt tears running down my cheeks. �He
can�t ever find out.� I said.

�Alright calm down. This
can�t be good for the baby. We don�t have to talk about it anymore today.� He
placed his hand on mine.

I nodded. �Thank you,� I
said.

He gave me a minute to
compose myself. �Oh and Naruto don�t leave here. Stay inside. The Anbu mask is
not a perfect disguise. It doesn�t hide your eyes. They stand out and you won�t
fool anyone close to you. Oh and before you think about sunglasses, your
identity as an elite mute Anbu member is interesting but wearing dark glasses
would make you look creepy and more suspicions.�

I laughed. A part of me still
disbelieved the outcome. �You�re really going to help me?� I asked.�

�Yes, but don�t keep anything
from me. I want to help, so I need to know everything and if there�s a problem,
you can come to me.� I nodded. �Well, it�s time.� I have to go, and I will find a way to visit
you without it becoming suspicious.�

I nodded and yawned. Fatigue
had become a constant part of my life. My eyes started to feel heavy and the
stress and tension finally exhausted me. �You need a nap Naruto.� I nodded and
laid down. I watched Shikamaru stand. He paused and looked at me one last time
before turning to walk out, leaving my necklace on the table. As he was closing
the door, I heard, �Take care of yourself and I�ll see you soon.� Those soft
and comforting words carried me off to sleep.��

AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Things
should start to pick up in the next chapter. There�s
going to be a slight time jump, so I hope everyone continues to read and
review.�
- 10
- 11
- 12
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Hidden Heartache