Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Illusion and Dream
By : djserani
Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male
Views: 1300 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I make no money off of this!
Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Genma cursed under his breath as he yanked on the zipper. It didn't want to move and he was about ten seconds from pulling out a kunai and simply cutting the damned thing away. He let another grunt out, tugged a little harder and it finally gave. He peeled the vest away from Raidou's chest and stared at the tiny buttons that marched down the front. They were going to defeat him, he knew it. In the current state his fingers were in -- coated in mud and shaky -- he'd never get them open.

He did pull his kunai out this time and sliced cleanly through the fabric. He felt slightly less guilty about the shirt than the vest since Raidou had several of them, including an extra one with him. The vest, not so much.

Shoving the distracting thoughts aside, he looked over his best friend's wounds. There was a pretty gash running across his chest from his left armpit to the bottom most rib on his right side. It was fairly shallow, though, and would be fine with antibiotic ointment.

No, the one that worried him was the short but very deep cut at the bottom of his ribs -- frighteningly close to his kidney. He could survive it, if they managed to get home soon. Except he knew that they were at least another day just from the border, so 'home soon' wasn't likely to be achievable.

Raidou also had several broken ribs on his left side from a kick he'd taken and didn't manage to dodge fast enough. And as if that wasn't enough, his breathing had a rattling quality to it that had Genma's blood running cold.

"You son of a bitch, you better live," Genma grumbled at him and glanced again at the handsome, scarred face. He swallowed hard and quickly cleaned his hands off with the canteen of water he had, spilling too much in his shaky hands. He turned back to the gash near Raidou's kidney, then, closing his eyes and focusing his chakra.

He'd learned a few very basic medical jutsus. He could mend minor stuff and start the healing process, but it was extremely limited and he knew that he didn't have much chance that it would do enough. Raidou chose that moment to cough violently and Genma watched him spit blood with it.

"You fucking asshole!" He said through clenched teeth. "If you die, so help me, I'm coming to find you where ever you go and kicking your sorry ass back to life just to fucking kill you myself!" He knew he was shouting by the end, but couldn't seem to calm down. He let the anger go, since it was the only thing keeping the terror and panic at bay for the moment.

He tried to concentrate on the gash near Raidou's kidney and heal it, but his fear was leaking through his concentration. Another series of coughs, more spit blood. "Goddamn it, Rai! Fuck you! Live, you son of a bitch!" After letting the frustration out again through the growls, he closed his eyes and forced himself to simply breathe. He had to calm down or he'd never be able to help the other man. He took several deep breaths through his nose and finally, he could feel the edges of the fear recede.

The panic was unnerving because normally, it wasn't an issue. Normally, he could simply shove it aside and do what needed to be done.

Normally, his best friend and the man he loved wasn't the one depending on his ability to do so.

He turned his attention back to the gash and focused once more. His eyes closed and he felt the warmth of the the healing chakra flow out of his hands. His concentration sharpened, he put everything he could into it and finally, he could feel it start to mend.

He nearly fell over when he released the jutsu. He had good chakra control, but even so, medical techniques took a lot out of him. He turned his attention to the ribs and Raidou rattled another cough, spitting still more blood. He knew - knew that there was at least one lung puncture, but God only knew how many other internal injuries.

The taller man's breathing became more labored and Genma could feel the panic slipping in around the edges again. He sat up and forced himself to concentrate once more. He was dangerously low on chakra already, but he was not going to let his best friend die. He kept repeating that to himself until he started saying it out loud, the anger coming back over the panic. "You are not going to die, you hear me?" He cuffed Raidou on the side of the head -- the only place he knew the man wasn't hurt. "Zumo's going to fucking kill me if I let you die."

He turned his attention to the ribs, but despite his best efforts, he didn't have enough chakra left to do anything. He tried desperately to force it, but it simply wasn't possible to force absolutely nothing. He started cussing again at the older man, cuffed him on the side of the head another time and felt the panic clawing up and taking over. He fought it with everything he could - he was a fucking shinobi, an elite, for crying out loud, but he didn't quite beat it.

Because he was also a man in love with the person he was afraid he was losing.

"God dammit! Why do you have to do that? I don't give a rat's ass if you're a bodyguard, you fucking moron! You are so STUPID!" The last word ended on a near scream as he punched the older man in a good spot on his arm.

He buried his face in his hands and tried to find some kind of calm. He was going to have to try to just carry Raidou back to the village. If they could get inside the ANBU patrol border, at least, they'd be fine, and he could get help.

Genma stood up and started to haul Raidou onto his back, but he swayed hard under the added weight and his own exhaustion. "Dammit. Closer to chakra burnout than I thought," he grumbled and staggered more. He tried again to lift his friend, but only succeeded in pulling himself down, sprawling into the dirt of the cave. "Fuck!" He shouted, pure frustration, panic, fear and anger taking over, then the exhaustion eclipsed them all and he slid into unconsciousness.

"Goddammit, Genma, wake UP!" Genma pushed at the hands shaking him, his confused mind convinced someone was trying to take Raidou's body away from him.

"No. Gotta get back, not gonna let 'im die..." he muttered.

Raidou crouched over his best friend, sighing. The man had been muttering and fidgeting in his sleep for the better part of an hour. He'd passed out from chakra exhaustion not long after they'd finally managed to get away from the village proper. He'd been successful, taking out the political rival, but he'd taken a few hits from it and that, coupled with their rather frantic flight from the target's compound, had knocked him out cold.

Raidou had carried him as far as he'd dared without risking running out of chakra himself, having had to use it to counter his best friend's weight. He'd managed to find a small cave out of the way enough and laid Genma down in there. He'd set traps, built a small fire and managed to summon one of their bedrolls before he was out of energy. He got Gen onto it, checked his wounds - a gash on one side of his chest and a few bruised ribs, treated and bandaged him up then sat across the fire to watch and wait.

Raidou had gathered enough from Gen's muttering to figure out the man thought he, Raidou, was the one in danger, not Genma himself. He'd caught quite a bit of foul language and a threat or two about Genma being the one to kill him instead. He'd laughed at that, but would never tell Gen he did so. He had a feeling if their roles were reversed and Gen was in danger of shuffling off this mortal coil, he'd be just as pissed, panicky and scared.

He stared down at his friend, now, trying to decide if he should attempt to wake him up again. If his chakra was that low, it was probably just best to let him sleep, anyway. They'd only been there a few hours and the cave was well hidden. His traps were sound, and to top it off, he wouldn't have to go far for water.

He settled in, this time next to Gen instead of on the other side of the fire and watched him sleep. He was still horribly confused about the other man and that annoyed him. He'd had to fight arousal when he'd stripped his friend to check for injuries which was ridiculous to him. He'd put away any attraction he had to the man. He had always been somewhat attracted to Gen, but the other man's playboy tendencies had kept him firmly away.

He had no interest in being just another notch on his best friend's bedpost.

So, he'd pushed his attractions away and that was that. Or so he'd thought.

The dinner they'd had with Izumo and Kotetsu had certainly messed with him. He'd finally had to face the fact that he was jealous. Jealous of the spiky-haired little bastard, of his friend who had not only Gen's attention, but his time and, dear God, his love, too. Because Raidou could not mistake the look on Genma's face every time he'd look at Kotetsu.

They were in love and that didn't sit well with him, at all. He wasn't quite ready to admit why that didn't sit so well with him, but he'd admit it didn't.

Genma tried to roll, then, and groaned quietly when the bandages around his side pulled. Raidou helped the other man settle and waited until he was sleeping again before sitting back.

He tried to remember exactly when they'd become friends, but he couldn't really. Kids, he knew that, very young too, though not quite as young as Zumo and Tetsu had been. Sometime in that pre-academy period that was one big blur now that they were adults. He didn't remember meeting the other boy, just remembered somewhere along the way having a friend that was always there.

He did remember the first time he'd thought the other man was attractive. When Aoba had started talking about girls, he'd realized he had no interest in the budding breasts on those same girls. No, instead, he noticed Genma's ass and how his eyes kept straying to it in his uniform. He remembered the times they'd bathed together when on missions and how much he liked the look of that long brown hair wet and dripping down a firm muscular chest.

Yeah, he'd wanted Gen. And Gen wanted him.

But he'd also wanted just about anything else that moved, too. For a while, gender didn't even matter, but somewhere between chuunin and jounin, he'd settled on men. There were still plenty of dicks for him, though, plenty of assholes to fill, and Genma made sure to try a nice variety of them.

Until Hayate caught him. And boy, did he. Gen had fallen hard for the damned near scrawny kid and the little swordsman had fallen right back. Genma had fought it, and Raidou had heard him insist he hadn't actually been in love. He'd maintained that the whole time. He claimed they just liked fucking each other a lot, no more.

And then Hayate had died, and that had simply shattered Genma. After the exams, after the invasion, when he was finally able to hide from the world for a bit, he fell apart completely. Raido had been there to pick up the pieces. Aoba had even stepped in for a while and helped. And eventually, he got himself back together, still convinced he'd never actually been in love. Raidou and Aoba didn't bother trying to disabuse him of the notion, hoping that it would mean he'd heal faster.

And he did heal, for the most part. And went right back to fucking anything with a dick that moved.

Raidou suspected for a while that he was running from Hayate's ghost. That subconsciously, maybe if he fucked enough people, he could finally bury the broken heart. Raidou had watched, and for a while hoped he'd give it up again and turn his attention elsewhere.

But he didn't. And so Raidou stopped watching and waiting and turned his own attention to a chuunin with long brown hair that covered one eye. A smaller man with a lithe grace and smile that stunned and he'd given up on his best friend completely.

And yet... Now he sat here, watching that best friend sleep, pondering the fact that this man in front of him had fallen in love again and he found himself a little angry.

An idea scrabbled around in his brain, nagged at the edges of thought and looked for a place to land. It poked his consciousness and knocked on the door of clarity.

And when it found a place to land and take hold, he blinked into the fire, shocked.

Because the thought that hit him, the question that finally got through was, "Why couldn't Gen have fallen in love with him?"

Said best friend chose that unfortunate moment to wake up. "Rai?" Raidou's eyes darted to hazel ones and noted confusion then relief as they widened. Then Genma launched himself from his spot on the bedroll.

And he had two armfuls of that best friend.

And a kiss he wasn't expecting but couldn't resist returning. Genma's lips nipped at his, demanding answering heat and Raidou could do nothing but comply. His mouth opened, Genma's tongue dipped in and he moaned at the incredible taste of the other man -- of this best friend.

The kiss turned needy and heated further, deepening into something Raidou had no name for. Genma shifted, straddling the bigger man's lap, both hands coming up to cup his face. Raidou barely twitched when his scar was touched, so lost was he in the feel of the other man against him.

His arms came around Genma, pulling him closer, one hand settling on the small of Genma's back, the other threading through that long silky hair. The younger man groaned when their arousals pushed against each other before diving in for more taste, more kiss. Genma rolled his hips, grinding into the taller man dragging more moans from both of them. It was only because Raidou's hand brushed the bandage on Genma's chest that kept him from flipping his friend onto the man's back and taking Genma then and there.

He pulled back with a supreme effort and they stared at each other for a long moment, cocks pulsing with need, breaths coming in gasps, eyes wide, hands tensed on each other's bodies.

Izumo's face flashed into Raidou's mind and the dark eyes slid closed.

"Look, Rai, it's not that I want to share you, okay? But... but I know what it is to deal with a bad mission. Maybe I haven't been on as many as you have, but I've dealt with it."

Raidou sighed. "I know you have. I'm just saying, it'll probably be just fine."

"You know what? It probably will be. You and Gen are good enough, but there's always that chance..." Izumo trailed off and Raidou remembered one very famous mission of the younger man's that had gone very, very wrong. "Anyway, just in case... it's okay."

Raidou stared at his boyfriend for a moment longer, then nodded. "Thank you. I'm a very lucky man."

Izumo smiled up at him. "I think I'm the lucky one," he replied and they both leaned in for a kiss.

The discussion surfaced in Radiou's mind and he opened his eyes to see Genma with an unreadable expression on his face. There might have been... remorse? Pain? Radiou didn't understand them but in that moment, it was Izumo's face that superseded the thoughts of Genma.

Because what he'd given Raidou permission for was not this. This wasn't about cheating death. This wasn't about putting away the stress of a tough mission. And this wasn't about dealing with shutdown or killing, and he knew it.

This was about pure sex, and about an emotion he couldn't or didn't want to name. This was about attraction and confusion and a whole mess of other things.

And he had no idea what the hell to do with it.

Genma swallowed hard, the relief, confusion and even anger warring with remorse. The remorse was winning, Kotetsu's face flashed in his mind and that deep voice sounded in his head reminding him that the chuunin loved him. That the younger man was waiting for him at home, not fucking around, not even fucking his best friend whom he was also in love with. No, instead, he was at home waiting. For him.

And he was straddling Raidou's lap, grinding his cock into the other man, damned near desperate to do much, much more.

He swallowed again, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him. He looked away from the dark eyes, staring, instead, at Raidou's throat, watching it work. Genma thought there was probably a lump of his own in there, very likely named 'Izumo.'

"I'm sorry," he whispered, moving off of his best friend's lap. He turned back to the fire and slowly sat on the bedroll.

Kotetsu may have given him permission to deal with a bad mission. He may have understood that Genma was still in love with Raidou. But this wasn't dealing with a bad mission and he didn't deserve to be cheated on, either.

The whole situation was a brand new one for Genma. When he'd been with Hayate, he hadn't had anyone to tempt him like Raidou had. He hadn't been attracted to and in love with Raidou back then. It had been Hayate and only Hayate, entirely aside from the fact that he and Hayate hadn't even been in love.

If he closed his eyes, he could feel Tetsu's arms around him, hear the deep voice murmuring words that he never thought he'd need. He could taste lips and see dark slanted eyes that said as much as the voice did about just how the man felt.

Raidou said nothing for several long moments. Then, finally, "I'm sorry, too."

"Why?" Genma shook his head. "You didn't practically attack me."

"I didn't stop you, either," Raidou countered.

Genma sighed. That much was true. He glanced over his shoulder at the taller man. "Why didn't you?"

Raidou's lips tightened into a thin line. A number of emotions, some Genma could name, some he couldn't, marched across the scarred face. He blinked a couple of times and finally got out, "I don't know."

Genma nodded, trying not to let the non-answer hurt. It could mean anything, really, and it didn't matter, anyway. He'd committed to someone, someone that wasn't taller than him with short, shaggy brown hair and scarred skin. No, the man he'd committed to was shorter, but no less handsome, no less sexy, no less incredible, and maybe even more so for putting up with the fact that he was still in love with someone else.

And in that moment, he ached to have a fistful of black spikes. He wanted badly to feel those arms around him. He would have given just about anything to taste those lips, see those slanted eyes again.

He raised a knee up and rested his chin on it. He wanted to ask Raidou why he didn't know. He wanted to ask him why he'd returned the kiss in the first place. He wanted to demand to know why Raidou didn't love him. He didn't ask any of those, though. "How long have we been here?" is what he did ask, instead.

"Just a few hours. You passed out from chakra exhaustion," Raidou said, and Genma could hear the caution in his voice.

Gen nodded. "So, we're still on time."

"Yeah, but you should probably rest for a little longer, just in case we come across someone on the way home."

Another nod. He wasn't quite ready to face Kotetsu, yet, anyway. He was beginning to realize that he needed to put his feelings for his best friend away. He needed to concentrate his energies on his spiky-haired boyfriend. They could be happy together, they could have a lot of years -- assuming neither of them got The Mission -- of just being together.

If he could only put away his feelings for Raidou. And, of course, Tetsu could manage to let go of Izumo.

But he couldn't think about that. It wasn't up to him to do that, or to demand that. No, the only person he could control was himself.

And, unfortunately, he wasn't quite sure he could pull it off.

He sighed again, still staring into the flames. He heard Raidou clear his throat. "I'm... going to go get some more water."

Genma nodded, saying nothing, knowing it was an excuse to be alone for a few moments. He sat still, unmoving, until Raidou had collected the canteens and left the cave. When he was gone, Gen breathed a small sigh of relief and laid back on the bedroll, eyes trained to the ceiling.

He had to do something. He had to change something. They couldn't stay - he couldn't stay like this. Loving two people was going to drive him insane. It wasn't fair to either of them and it certainly wasn't fair to him.

The question was... who?
- 9
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- 11
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Illusion and Dream	By : djserani Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1300 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I make no money off of this!

Illusion and Dream