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Can you see my Heart?	By : loveusender Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1426 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do Not own Naruto nor any of it's characters nor do I make money from writing this.

Chapter List
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Pardon my extremely long absence my lovelies! Here is the next chapter! Check a/n for more details...

           “You think he’ll be okay?” Neji looked over to where his cousin Hinata was currently rolling herself in, the wheelchair sliding easily over the green tiled floor. The house was of a modern standard and the Hyuuga’s had outfitted it so that she could get around easily without much help.

Even though she had an aid, Neji marveled that she still insisted to do certain things on her own, making stiff refusal from even Kiba, who never lost his temper with her. He was surprised that the dog lover had stuck around for her, knowing people's inept attitude towards person's who are disabled.

           “I believe he just needs some time along Neji, a shock like that would be expected to have that effect on him. ” She rolled to a stop next to the couch and lifted herself out slowly, before relaxing into the cushions and stretching a bit.

           “The thing is cousin; he’s been up there for the past two weeks. ”

          “You think I don’t know that? Who do you think has been sending him food?” She gazed with her pupil less eyes at him.

            “Even that is futile because he refuses to eat. ”

When Sasuke had first came home in a hurry and headed to his room without a word, Neji didn’t have to get a hint to know that something was wrong. After nearly hours of trying to get a word out of him, the Uchiha had finally opened up and mentioned seeing his past lover at the breakfast shop. He also mentioned the details of what had happened. It was then that Neji left him alone. After a remission like that, it was understandable that the brunette would want some solitude.

                    “He will come around sooner or later. Then we will figure out what to do about Sasuke and Naruto.”

Everyone that had been close friends and family of the two knew of the incident in New York. It was at that time that a lot of people came to resent Sasuke and he never forgave himself.
It was because of this that his brother Itachi had insisted he live with him, fearing that he brunette would want to take his life. Finding him with his wrists slit and rushing him to the ER was not something that Itachi had wanted to relive.

Neji knew that his boyfriend bore a burden taking care of his younger brother but he had expressed that when it came to family, nothing stood in the way. It was because of that admirable reason that Neji had agreed to take in Sasuke for the six months it would take to set up headquarters in Dubai, knowing that the task was going to take him for a long haul.

Itachi had warned him to rid the house of anything harmful that Sasuke might attempt something with, and to have the alcohol away with someone to keep a constant eye on his whereabouts.
Neji dragged a weary hand over his face, his hair falling loosely behind his back. He was losing his self control trying to help Sasuke without resorting to something violent. If things got from bad to worse, he didn’t want to call Itachi to explain why his brother was suffering from malnutrition.

*******

Sasuke was already ahead of Neji in thoughts about Itachi, having dialed his brother and waited for a response through the dial tone on the phone.

               “Hello? Who is this?” Itachi’s voice sounded grainy.

            “I want to go home Itachi.” Sasuke’s eyed were downcast, his expression subdued.

                 “Sasuke, is everything alright?”

               “No, it isn’t. I saw N-Naruto today,” he swallowed after the word, “He’s-”

                “Blind? I know. I’ve been keeping up to date about his status.” Itachi didn’t even feign innocence.

                “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

Sasuke’s voice rose and he restlessly stalked his room.

                  "Why you ask? Why would I tell my suicidal brother about the deteriorating condition of his past lover? Why would I encourage you with more reasons to off yourself Sasuke? Take a lucky damn guess. ”

The other line went a little silent, and Sasuke knew his brother was agitated but he didn’t care.

                   “I needed to make sure that you would get better and that meant not finding anything else about Naruto. He being one of the surprise performances at the concert was something I hadn’t bargained for. ” The older brother’s voice was steely.

The past ten years was a difficulty for Itachi, having been warned by Naruto’s parents, then later, grandparents to keep Sasuke away from Naruto. After time, Sasuke had started to move on and Naruto, kind of involuntarily too.

                   “Fuck! How am I supposed to handle ---how am I supposed to get him back, apologize when he doesn’t even fucking remember me? It just won’t work Itachi.” Sasuke all but screamed into the phone.

                   “Sasuke? Calm down. It’s going to be impossible for you to get him back with his family guarding him like they do. Just -- It’s not going to work.”

                  “I have to try. Damn it! Should I stay or go?” Itachi sighed at Sasuke from the other line.

                    “That is a question I don’t have an answer for. Goodbye little brother.” A click sounded in the brunette’s ears and he dropped the phone on his bed.

*********

When the phone in the den had rung, Kiba had been a little more than surprised to hear who was on the other end of the line.

                     “Granny?”

                      “It’s good to hear your voice again cub. It’s been way too long.”

Hearing Naruto’s grandmother raised Kiba’s suspicions for one because though he on occasion visited Naruto, she didn’t really have any legit reason to call the Hyuuga household. If but for one person.

            “I’m presuming that you want to speak to Sasuke?”

His voice took on something that he hated and became shallow, not wanting the raven haired man in the other room to hear. Kiba felt sorry for Sasuke. After watched for the past few days of what the man had to endure after seeing his ex-lover after such a long time and having his family keep things from him, he looked ready to give up on life.

It had only been yesterday he’d decided to prove to everyone that he really was still alive and ventured to the rest of the house, keeping polite conversation with Hinata and himself. He kept on refusing though to go into the gardens outside the house, preferring to lurk in the shadows.

            “You are correct. There are some important matters I want to discuss with him regarding my grandson.”

            “Tsunade-baachan, you do know that Sasuke hasn’t been near him since that day right? He’s already self-loathing as it is. Do you really want to make it worse?”

            “Inuzuka, I will ask you kindly again. Put the Uchiha on the phone.”

            “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

            “Kiba Inuzuka, if you dare --”

Kiba hung up on her without a second thought.

*******

              “You Idiot! Are you trying to throw coals on the already blazing inferno of this problem?”

Hinata was fuming at Kiba later that afternoon as she looked ready to vault out of her chair at him.

               “I did the right thing Hinata! She would have made things worse!”

Hinata folded her arms across her chest, wanting to do something with them to hold back from gripping the wheels of her chair to run over her stubborn boyfriends’ legs.

                “The right thing? When is hanging up on Naruto’s grandmother the right thing? We are supposed to be trying to fix this, not make it worse! That’s exactly what you did!”

Neji calmly looked between them as he swirled some wine in hand, the crimson liquid circling the rim in a daring fashion; a slow paced hurricane.

                “Neji? Help me out man!” Kiba looked at his soon to be future brother-in-law in earnest, hoping to win a man for his team. The Hyuuga’s posture was set in determination as he shook his head. He sank deeper into the white leather of the recliner, contemplating everything that has been happening, sifting through the rotten of what remained in this situation.

               “Hinata’s right. Sasuke can’t get Naruto back if we don’t start with blonde’s family first.”

Footsteps descending the staircase startled the trio and they were stunned to view Sasuke rooted there, surveying all of them.

               “Have you heard everything?” Hinata queried him.

The brunette ignored her. “How does anyone know what I want? Did anyone care to ask me about anything?”

Kiba started, “Sasuke we know --”

On swiftly the twenty-nine year old made his way over to them but paused two feet away.

                      “You know nothing.”

Those three words told them everything. It explained the black shadows of despair drawn on the face of a man that was so handsomely beautiful that women and men alike once flocked to him; a person that had been renowned in wealth and happiness. A frame of someone whom they could see was trying to sew back on the sleeve that once held his heart that seemed to have fallen off along the way. The problem was he knew where it’d dropped but he couldn’t retrieve it. Didn’t know how to.

They monitored each other for a while before turning away, allowing the conversation to fall away to nothing.

                  “Let me call her and explain everything.”

Neji’s silky hair slid over his shoulders as he reached for the phone, dialing quickly and handing it to Sasuke.

A vibrant female echoed over the line with a sharp hello.

Sasuke didn’t hesitate. “We have to talk.”

******

A cusp of smoke rose from the raven’s lips as he sat on the rusted iron bench that curled itself into the timeless age of what remained of Konoha. The same place he remembered sitting with his blond. He felt the cigarette slip from his fingers to the stone pavement and he quickly stamped it out.

He could see Naruto sitting next to him, a smoky projection created by the memories billowing around him like the cotton clouds floating lazily in the sky. The sunlight was muted that Thursday, just as he felt Naruto was at times, subdued but never contained. He was the birth and origin of the sun itself. It emanated from his smile and the love that they’d share, just as Sasuke felt as if that smile was directed at him.

He could see it in his mind’s eye; he could feel his heart sigh in his chest. Sigh and hurt, as if it was encased in barbed wire, the same one that pierced the thorns of steel deeper as he thought of Naruto’s blindness. It hurt, more than those ten years of wondering what had happened to his lover, his friend, his soul mate.

His attention was captured with a blond head in the window of the bookstore across the street. As he was about the rise from the seat that held as much heat as his cold body; he felt a firm grip on his arm, not permitting him to go any further. He found himself face to face with a jolly looking silver haired man; too happy for his tastes.

The space that had been empty beside him was suddenly holding a presence, he presumed was Tsunade’s. She also placed a hand on his thigh to keep him in place. For an old lady, she was surprisingly strong.

He felt the anger bubble inside of him.

                 “Did you bring me here to torture me?”

He saw Naruto through the window of the store, behind the counter, his smile showering a customer with greetings.

                “That was not our intention. It was something else. ”

His body protested against them, to go to him as fast as possible, just a few steps separated them and yet it felt like an entire sea.

                “So you flaunt him in front of me like a morsel, like a prized possession, the need that I can never have?”

Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes and the overcoat he wore wasn’t enough the keep the freezing feeling he felt off, not enough at all.

                “We want you to see how happy he is. ”

                “Without me you mean? How happy without me? You’re wrong!”

                “Sasuke, keep yourself in check. We are not letting you go anywhere near him.”

The raven thought he could do exactly that but he could almost smell him, his senses screamed at him.

            “You keep saying “we”. Who else are you talking about?”

Tsunade looked at Kakashi who nodded.

            “I’m Naruto’s caretaker.” He eased his hand off of Sasuke and extended it to him. Sasuke ignored his presence.

            “Why would the dobe need one of him?” He spoke impatiently to the blonde’s grandmother tipping his head in the direction of Kakashi, treating him with the same respect as the resigned ball of phlegm that flowed down the drain.

            “I know he’s a grown man Sasuke, but Naruto needs certain guidance.”

            “Guidance?” Sasuke snorted. “To not be a flaming homosexual like me? I guess it must have been you praying to the Gods that he’d lose his memory then, to lose an important part of himself!”

            “Shut your damn mouth! Naruto was never himself with you! You changed him!”

            “You bitch!” Sasuke sprung from the bench like someone had just branded him with a hot iron. “I did nothing, NOTHING that Naruto didn’t choose for himself. He chose to be with me. He chose to love me and not fall into the same damn prejudice opinions and traditions that your family had towards him. You pushed him out, it was you who did that!”

            “If he’d never met you, he would have been settled,and had a family, not blind. Not---” Tsunade sighed as she looked at the blond haired man who bore a resemblance to her as he spoke to a co-worker.

            “Not what old woman? Unhappy as he is now?” The raven haired man grit his teeth together in agitation. “I made him happy. Though I haven’t seen him in ten years or spoken to him, I can still read his expressions, I can see that he’s in fact not happy, even though you can’t.”

            “If then Uchiha, that you made him happy, why did you have to cheat on him? Why did you have to break my gaki’s heart?”

Tsunade’s throat was sore from the quarrelling that she knew would get them nowhere. She just awaited an answer not from the stubborn as a jackass individual who stood in front of her. Kakashi stood silently a few steps apart from, taking in everything that they’d said.

            “My father unfortunately was the same as you, and being as young as I was I didn’t see that. All I sought was his approval, his praise.” Sasuke spat the words as if they were vile, “I was too foolish to see that he sought ways to break us apart and I just welcomed it with open arms stupidly when we moved to New York.”

He heaved and bent his head to stare at the grass, with its lackluster colored blades of green as Tsunade and Kakashi had to strain to hear him.

            “He kept pressuring me, each and every day for months. Do you know what that felt like? To work you ass off and not be accepted by your father regardless of what you did? Naruto saw it but he didn’t say anything. Then I started to feel like anything I did couldn’t please him; could not make him happy. I started to doubt myself and our happiness. ”

He swallowed around the sob he felt surfacing in his throat.

              “I thought maybe if I can’t even prove my worth to my father or Naruto, then I’m not worth anything to anyone. I threw caution to the wind and wallowed myself in alcohol, work, men because I hoped it would cover up everything I was feeling. I couldn’t touch Naruto for months because my gut kept telling me I would taint him if I did. Then you ripped him away from me as everything fell apart. I couldn’t even make amends after that!”

            “I’m sorry to hear all of that Sasuke and I’m sorry to hear about your relationship with your father but it can’t reverse what’s happened. ”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed and he stalked towards her and got right up in her face. Kakashi was quick to make his way over to them but Tsunade held up her palm to stop the caretaker just as Sasuke spoke, spittle splashing unto her face.

            “I love him. You hear me? I love Naruto with my entire being and nothing; nothing you do is going to keep me from him. ” With that he stalked off, wrapping his coat around him like a shield.

Kakashi smirked. “This is going to be harder than we thought. ”

A/N: This update is way overdue. It's basically just me trying to get a job, healing my paining wrist. I can't do scanlations or type but it's getting better. I thank those of you that urged me to update and write, especially you Midnight essence with your 'boot camp voice' HAHA. It's a pleasure to see that you guys and gals are still enjoying this. Don't worry, I won't leave this one hanging.
Also, don't be afraid to tell me if my/ kishimoto's characters are OOC because I'm not very good at that sort of thing. I try to express something and go off unto the broken path so, sorry about that.

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Can you see my Heart?