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Chrysanthemum	By : AWickedMemory Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1189 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Title: Chrysanthemum

Author: D.A. Maxwell

Chapter: 10

A/N:

     I'm so sorry this chapter took so long to put out. T.T; It was just incredibly difficult to concentrate on. I blame the entire first scene. Writing large groups is not my thing. -sigh-

     On the flipside, there are two illustrations. One is linked at the end of the chapter for once you get through it. n.n It's one of the last scenes, though, so no skipping ahead!

     The other is here: http://shikaneji.deviantart.com/art/Hinata-Uchikake-81217360

· · · · · · · · · ·

     The first of March hailed the gentle warmth of an early spring, perfect for an outdoor celebration. This was, in fact, exactly what was going on in Konoha on that sunny afternoon. Hiashi couldn't have timed things better if he'd tried.
     The doors to the Hyuugas' ceremonial hall, lavishly decorated in lavenders and white carnations, satin and silk, ribbons and lace, had been left open to the crowd milling in and out of the complex. Outside, tables and chairs had been set up both in the light and in the shade for conversation and chat, while longer tables inside boasted more elegant arrangements. And the occasion?
     The formal engagement between Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata.
     The stage at the far end of the hall was set up for the star couple to dine on display, but for the time being, they'd sought refuge amongst the company of their friends. At the table sat Shino and Kiba (whose one-way romance certainly hadn't progressed), Sakura and Ino (who were bickering amiably, as always), and of course, Shikamaru and Neji (nobody quite understood what was up with them). Lee, Tenten and Chouji were away on missions, but as none were especially close to Naruto or the Hyuugas, their absence wasn't a particularly noticable loss.
     With another quarter hour before the ceremony was due to begin, the young adults listened attentively as Naruto recounted the events leading up to the engagement.
     "Actually, Hiashi-sama was kind of the one who proposed," Naruto admitted, grinning sheepishly at the confused looks around him. For the umpteenth time that night, he adjusted his stiff, deep scarlet kimono with a grimace, tugging at the collar before Hinata lightly swatted his hands away to fix the nagajugan.
     Settling back down, she smiled shyly and toyed with the edge of her own sleeve. "Father became... um... impatient, I think."
     "So I was having dinner there, right? And we're in the middle of eating and chatting, and then just out of nowhere, he was like..." Naruto sat up straight and put on a gruff, stern voice. "'Just what are your intentions with my daughter? Are you serious about her?'"
     "Naruto-kun was so startled, he... he dropped his chopsticks," Hinata added with a small giggle. Naruto grinned at her, immediately eliciting her familiar flush. Despite that they'd been getting closer for the last six months or so, and had been dating for over a month, that grin never failed to make her knees quiver-- especially when directed at her.
     "So, so true," Naruto confirmed. "So of course, I was like, 'Yeah, I'm serious about her.' And then he asked if I planned to eventually marry her, and it was really kinda awkward, y'know? I mean, she was sitting right there. And I hadn't really thought about marriage-- I mean, I had, but nothing... immediate, right? We hadn't been dating long, so I wasn't planning anything like that yet."
     "He took so long to reply, I th- well, I thought father was going to throw him out..."
     "I snap out of it and I'm like, 'Well, I'd love to, but I don't know if Hinata--'" Naruto paused, smirking at his fianc�e. Hinata's blush deepened, and she hid her face behind his arm. "Then Hinata just cuts me off and blurts out, 'Yes!' before realizing what she'd done. She looked like she wanted to crawl under the table and die, especially when Hanabi started laughing at her. I think that kinda broke the tension. So anyway, before I knew it, we were engaged. And we finished dinner, and things seemed really normal, right? I get home, get ready for bed, then it just suddenly hits me-- 'holy shit, I'm getting married'! So I ran back to make sure I hadn't just been dreaming or something, and Hiashi-sama was pissed at me for coming back so late, almost cancelled the engagement."
     "Only you, Naruto," Sakura sighed.
     "Hey, whaddaya mean, 'only me'?!" Naruto demanded, but despite the confrontational tone, his expression was light and playful. "I'd like to see how you react if you found yourself with a fianc� before you even realized it!"
     "Technically, you're still not engaged yet," Kiba pointed out. "I mean, that's what this party's for, right? When your formal engagement gets announced to everyone?"
     Naruto waved him off. "Formal, shmormal. As far as I'm concerned, we got engaged that dinner. Right, Hina-chan?" He peered over his shoulder to grin at his blushing bride-to-be. Hinata blinked her large, wide eyes at him, then offered a slow, soft smile before nodding. A part of Naruto seemed to visibly melt at her serene expression.
     "Awww! You two are so cute!" Ino gushed.
     Shifting his arm, Naruto slipped it around Hinata's slim shoulders to pull her back into the open. She was still a bit pink, but the expression of pure, glistening happiness belied any concern that she was less than completely content with her life at that moment.
     "Yeahhh, so. Things've been interesting." Naruto suddenly turned to Shikamaru and Neji. "Oh, right-- and we wanted to thank you guys."
     Startled at the apparent change of topic, the two glanced at each other, then simultaneously looked back. "What are you talking about, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked mildly.
     "Well," Naruto began, "you turned down the engagement to Hinata, right? And then you let me know that Hiashi was looking for someone. Got my ass in gear to at least talk to her more."
     Hinata cleared her throat. "And that-- that day, when you both sent us off. We had ramen, and..."
     "When... Oh, hell no. Shikamaru sent you off, not me," Neji corrected, clearly offended at the idea that he had played any role in their matchmaking. The others tried not to stare at him. They'd seen the gradual change in the young man over the last half year as he seemed to become noticably more casual and approachable, but it was still difficult to believe at times. However, they were always reassured that despite his apparent softening, Neji was still Neji-- as evidenced by his temper snapping every time Lee would joyously hug him and exclaim how delightful it was that his dear, solitary companion had finally come out of his shell to partake in the celebration of their vibrant days of youth-- or some other overly complicated and melodramatic synonym for "chilling out."
     "Come to think of it, where were you in all this?" Kiba abruptly asked him. "I mean, it's your uncle's place and all..."
     Neji responded with a flat look. "Where do you think I was?"
     "Shikamaru's? You're over an awful lot these days," Ino remarked. "It's like you live there now or something."
     "He basically does," Shikamaru agreed. "Your point?"
     "Well... it's weird!" Ino explained bluntly. "I mean, his family's got loads of money, but instead of living in the lap of luxury, he stays with you? You're not... you know..."
     "What?"
     "You know!"
     Shikamaru sighed. "I'm not psychic, Ino."
     Sakura stepped in then, much less wary of accidentally offending the two jounin. "Are you guys dating?"
     Neji let out an exasperated breath as Shikamaru rubbed his temple. "Not you, too," Neji muttered. "No, we're not dating."
     "Wait, hold up-- what's this? 'Too'? Who else thinks you're dating?" Kiba asked, eyes widening. He frowned when the two men completely ignored him.
     "Is it about the...?" Hinata glanced cautiously at her cousin, who grimaced and nodded. The others instantly pounced on this display.
     "What's this? What's going on?"
     "About the what?"
     "Hina-chan! You knew something was up, and didn't tell me?"
     "Thanks, Hinata-sama."
     "I'm sorry, Neji-niichan!"
     "Shikamaru! What are they talking about?"
     "What a pain."
     "Shikamaaaruuu!" Ino grabbed her former teammate's sleeve and began tugging at it. "What's going on?"
     Shikamaru glanced at Neji, who gave an annoyed grumble before shaking his head, making a 'just don't bring me into it' gesture. Snorting, the shadow nin pulled his sleeve from Ino's grasp when she tugged again. "Okay, I'll tell you-- just stop pulling or you'll tear this thing, and you know how mom would react."
     "Don't change the subject!" Sakura demanded.
     Shooting her a long-suffering look, Shikamaru let out an irritated breath. "Our parents-- well, my parents and his uncle-- tried to set us up, all right? It was just once, a month ago," he added hastily when several jaws dropped and several more pairs of eyes widened in shock. "They've left us alone since."
     "They-- what?! I'd have thought-- I mean, I don't really know your families, but Hiashi-sama, at least--" Sakura stammered.
     "F-- father was just trying to... to..." Hinata started to defend.
     "I can't believe you didn't tell me, Shikamaru!" Ino complained.
     "Wow. What the hell? They're just going to up and assume either of you'd be interested in a guy like that?" Naruto laughed. "I'd picture Kiba to be gayer than you."
     "Hey!" Kiba protested as he bolted up sharply, although to the amusement of those who noticed, he appeared to be blushing a bit. "What do you mean by that?!"
     Naruto blinked. "Nothing, just that they're not likely to wanna be gay."
     "And I am?!"
     "I didn't say you were!"
     "You implied it!"
     "No, I didn't!"
     "Yeah, you damn well..." Kiba's voice trailed off when he felt a hand on his shoulder, challenging expression fading to a frozen surprise.
     "He didn't mean to offend you, Kiba. Let it go," Shino instructed his friend in his usual matter-of-fact tone, which would have seemed patronizing had he used it on anyone but Kiba. With the canine-lover, however, it simply came off as patient and familiar.
     Kiba sat back down.
     Shikamaru shot Neji a glance. Told you so.
     Neji rolled his eyes. Shut up.
     Shikamaru smirked. Didn't say a word.
     "Naruto! Hinata!" Hiashi called.
     Naruto grimaced. "Great. Time to enter the spotlight."
     "Don't you like the spotlight?" Sakura reminded pointedly.
     Pulling a face, Naruto grinned as he and his fianc�e stood. "Not when it means sitting still for the next two hours! I mean, would you like to be stuck sitting and posing pretty forever? Oh, wait, you're an attention whore, of course you--"
     "Naruto, you little--!"
     "N... Naruto-kun, they're waiting," Hinata reminded hurriedly before Naruto could provoke the volatile kunoichi any further.
     With few more delays, the young couple finally managed to break away about five minutes later and take their places on the stage. As soon as they were gone, Ino reached over to give Shikamaru's cheek a sharp pinch. "You should have told me, you brat!"
     Wincing, Shikamaru knocked her hand away. "Why would I?" he sighed. "You would have thrown things completely out of proportion, then gone gossiping around town."
     "No, I wouldn't have!"
     "Yeah, you would," Shikamaru and Sakura chorused.
     "Oh, aren't you just a hypocrite?" Ino shot back at her cherry-haired friend, instantly initiating a bickering match. Shikamaru cast Neji a See what I have to deal with? look.
     "What do you mean by that?!"
     "What do you think I mean?! You have such a big mouth--!"
     "Not as big as yours!"
     "Shut the hell up already, will ya? The announcements are about to begin, you're gonna piss off Hinata's family," Kiba growled. "Save your spat for later."
     "Stay out of it!"
     "Hey, I don't wanna get thrown out 'cause of you two!"
     "Oh, for crying out loud--" Getting up, Neji grabbed Shikamaru's arm and moved away from the table, pulling the younger man with him. Ino and Sakura temporarily stopped fighting to stare after them in surprise, but Shikamaru simply smirked.
     "Fed up?"
     "The moment they opened their mouths," Neji agreed, letting go and correctly assuming Shikamaru would follow close behind.
     "All right, then," Shikamaru chuckled. "Your family or mine?"
     Glancing over at the Hyuuga section, with his aunts and uncles fawning over Hanabi and too many eligible cousins eyeing him predatorily from across the room, Neji edged away. "Yours," he decided firmly as they headed over to where Shikaku and Yoshino sat. As always, they were given a warm reception as the older woman began fussing over Neji, leaving husband and son to snicker at the trap Neji had let himself walk into-- a trap named Yoshino.
     Still better than the alternative, Neji sighed to himself. Besides, although he wouldn't admit it on pain of death, he kind of liked being fussed over by her-- it only seemed to emphasize her motherly qualities, even if it confounded him how readily he'd been received.
     It was almost like having a complete family again.
     · · · · ·
     Gawking after them, Sakura, Ino, Kiba, and even Shino exchanged uncertain glances. "Is it just me, or was that kind of weird?" Kiba finally piped up after a few moments of thoughtful silence.
     "That was weird," Sakura nodded. "I didn't think Neji was the touchy-feely sort."
     "Me, neither," Ino agreed. "The weird part to me was that Shikamaru just... went with him, without any grumbling. If anyone else'd tried that, he would have bitched about having to get up and move."
     "I don't care what they say, there's totally something going on between them," Kiba determined.
     Ino grinned. "Well, I guess it'd take one gay guy to know ano-- ow!" Rubbing her shin, where Kiba had kicked, she scowled and gave his chair a hard shove, sending him toppling into Shino.
     Shino helped his madly blushing friend up without a word. Hiashi finally looked over at the table with a stern glare, and the three fell silent.
     ·····
     Four hours later, Neji tiredly dropped down onto the couch at home, unaccustomed to interacting with such a large group of people for such an extended period of time. Even though it was barely past five PM, Hinata had been practically falling asleep on her feet by the end of the ceremony, and even Naruto had been exhausted by the formalities into near-silence. Being so closely related to the woman of the hour, Neji had been required to stay until the very last of the guests had left-- and of course, he'd made the Nara suffer with him.
     "The idea of an engagement ceremony just makes me want to avoid marriage even more," Neji yawned, folding up the haori he'd left on the couch when he'd gone into the room to dress down. Half a year ago, he would have been mortified at his present "slovenly" state: then, the routine would have been to neatly hang the fancy coat and the rest of his robes prior to changing into the most lounge-appropriate clothing he owned, which undoubtedly wouldn't have been very lounge-appropriate. Now, however, he was content in a maroon tanktop and light brown capris, haori abandoned to be taken care of later. "Can't understand why clans insist on something such a complete waste of time..."
     Swinging by the kitchen to guzzle some water on his way out of the bedroom, Shikamaru brought a glass over to Neji as he settled beside him, receiving a nod of thanks as the brunette accepted the drink. "Maybe it doesn't feel so long if you're the one up there," he suggested wearily. "It seemed like Naruto and Hinata hardly had a moment to themselves when they weren't being bombarded with questions and congratulations from most of Konoha."
     "Then it would just be obnoxious," Neji pointed out. He smirked. "Or... 'troublesome'?"
     Despite how drained he felt, Shikamaru laughed quietly. "Hey, find your own catchphrase," he commanded in a lazy drawl.
     "But yours works so well." Neji took a sip of water, then shook his head. "I can't understand your classmates... they have too much energy."
     "Lee could run rings around any of my friends," Shikamaru reminded.
     "Lee's a single case," Neji argued back. "Most of your peers seem too..."
     "Hyper? Annoying? Six years old?"
     "Lively," Neji decided euphemistically, tucking his legs up on the couch beneath him as he shifted against the cushions. He leaned against the armrest, closing his eyes to rest them for a moment. "Especially the girls..."
     "Yeah, they're a handful," Shikamaru agreed, smiling in amusement at how quickly the other man began drifting off. Standing again, he took the glass of water from Neji's hand before he could drop it, setting it on the coffeetable.
     Starting at the action, Neji blinked up at him with a frown. "'Wasn't going to spill," he defended.
     "Mmhmm," Shikamaru hummed placatingly, "but just in case you accidentally fall asleep."
     "Not falling asleep," Neji countered stubbornly even as his eyes drifted shut again. "Just... resting."
     "And it's easier to rest without holding something, that's all," Shikamaru reassured as the straightened. He remained still for a moment, watching as Neji slipped into a deep sleep, before heading into their platonically shared bedroom. Opening the closet, he opened one of the boxes he had in there and withdrew some paper about 11"x18", carefully pinned to some solid backing. Reaching into the same box, he removed a flat tin and carried everything out to the living room, sitting himself down carefully so as not to wake his friend. Opening the tin, he removed a brown coloured pencil, glanced at Neji, looked back at the incomplete drawing, then put the pencil to the paper. He began to sketch, working in quick, short strokes.
     ·····
     An hour later, Shikamaru closed the tin and set the drawing against the back of the couch, facing away from prying eyes. Rising, he moved to the kitchen to fix himself some tea.
     Stirring at the motion, Neji frowned in his half-asleep state at the stiffness in his neck. Dragging one arm up, he rubbed at the sore muscles that protested the angle he'd been lying in. With a yawn, he briefly curled up more tightly before relaxing, letting himself gradually come to terms with where he was and what he last remembered happening.
     "Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty," Shikamaru called from the kitchen in a light tease.
     "How long've I been asleep...?" Neji mumbled in a disgruntled tone, annoyed at himself for dozing off so early in the evening.
     "Just an hour." Pouring the hot water into a mug, Shikamaru left it on the counter to soak with a teabag as he walked back over to the couch, leaning over it. "If you're not hungry, just wash up and go to bed."
     "Can't," Neji groaned. "I'd wake up too early, or stay in bed and get too much sleep."
     Shikamaru smirked. "There's no such thing as too much sleep," he opined.
     "Of course you'd think that," Neji sighed, sitting upright. Finally catching sight of the sketchboard beside him, he blinked. "Is this that sketch you've been working on...?" he asked tentatively, wondering what sort of drawing actually made Shikamaru put so much time and effort into it.
     "Mmhmm." At the curious gaze, Shikamaru shrugged. "Yeah, sure. It's about as done as I'm going to get it, and I was planning on giving it to you anyhow." Ignoring Neji's questioning peer, he went back to the kitchen to get his tea.
     "..." Reaching out, Neji picked up the sketch and pulled it onto his lap before turning it over to see. When he did, his eyes widened.
     The first thing that caught his attention was that the entire sketch was in colour. Neji couldn't recall seeing anything his roommate had done in something other than generic graphite, but looking over it, there didn't seem to be a stitch of black used.
     There were three figures in the sketch, all connected through dancing strands of hair and a waterfall of chrysanthemums of different sizes and colours. The lower-most figure facing right was Neji as he had been several years ago, still a bitter, asocial chuunin radiating warning signals. In the middle of the page was a Neji who, facing left, stood tall and proud, confident and determined, but without the angry tension of the first-- the Neji that others had watched develop in recent months.
     Lying across the top was another Neji, this one very much from the present. He wore a tanktop like he had on now, and there was a blanket thrown over his lower body as he slept curled into a pillow. His expression was peaceful and content, and his body lay languid and relaxed. Unlike in the other two pictures, his hair was loose here, and it was these strands that coiled down the right side of the page with the mums to connect the three. The curse seal was covered in the bottom two pictures by his forehead protector, but in the uppermost one, it was visible-- present yet subtle, a gentle marking across his skin. All in all, a very comfortable, and almost vulnerable, portrayal of him.
     A side that only Shikamaru had ever seen.
     Neji stared, mixed feelings stirring in confusion as he traced over the flowers with his fingertips. His eyes moved slowly across the smooth lines, following soft peach into chestnut brown into gentle spreads of reds, blues, golds and violets. He examined the differences in expression and tension, and wondered if the reality really was such a blatant contrast.
     And the flowers--
     In the corner of the room, the blue spider mum that Yoshino had first brought over four months ago still thrived. Out on the balcony were several more potted chrysanthemums, growing from a few of the choice cuttings that Neji had brought home only a few months before. Although they looked out of place in the otherwise unornamented apartment, there was something comforting about them nonetheless.
     As Shikamaru returned, setting his tea down on the coffee table, Neji glanced at him before quickly turning his eyes away. He wasn't sure why he suddenly felt so awkward and embarrassed-- that the Nara had observed such fine details about him? That he'd found the maturation worthy of preserving on paper? Aside from school records, Neji wasn't even sure that any pictures of him existed. He certainly hadn't been privy to participating in the Hyuuga family portraits, limited as they were to the main house, and generally avoided social functions where photography played a prominent role.
     Not for the first time, he wondered how or why Shikamaru had let him slip so easily into his life. They hardly even knew each other at first, but now, Neji couldn't think of anybody he felt closer to than the younger man. When had that sort of transition even occurred? "I'm... I've never been given anything like this before. I'm not sure what to say..."
     "Then don't say anything," Shikamaru shrugged. "It wasn't made for commentary."
     Out of the corner of his eye, Neji watched him lift his mug to his lips and take a sip, lounging comfortably in his corner of the couch. He always looked so relaxed with life, indifferent to the mundane drama that seemed to plague those around him-- somebody who existed beyond such triviality. That calm normally served as a soothing presence for Neji, but suddenly, he wanted it gone. He wanted to see Shikamaru respond and react, removed from his self-contained nonchalance. What was going on in his head?
     Neji lowered the drawing, laying it on his lap. "... I think I'd like to know now," he said quietly. Shikamaru blinked slowly, turning his head just enough to fix his dark, half-lidded eyes on his friend. "From the teahouse."
     "... Ah." Shikamaru put the tea back down, then scratched his neck as he slouched in his seat. "You sure about that? You don't think it'll change our friendship, whatever I say...?"
     Giving the sketch a faint smile, Neji shook his head. "No, I'm not sure at all." And I don't entirely understand it, but that scares me-- wondering how different things might be five minutes from now, or five days, or five years. "I don't know what would happen, what I'd do. But I think I..." Want? Need? "... should know anyway."
     Shikamaru was quiet for a moment, mulling over how to reply. He sighed before sitting upright, one elbow resting against the back of the couch but keeping his eyes averted. He seemed to be having as much trouble facing Neji as Neji had directly facing him. Well... I wanted him ruffled. I guess this is about as good as I'm going to get, the Hyuuga thought warily.
     Tilting his head, Shikamaru let out a slow breath. "If you're positive. I'll preface this by saying that I consider you to be my closest friend, and obviously, I'd rather that not change. Still, I'm aware of the potential consequences, so do whatever you think you need to."
     Unsure of why he was holding his breath, Neji nodded. If he's not interested, then I can't help but wonder if I'm just the same as everyone else to him. But if he is... then what?
     Shifting again, Shikamaru opened up the coffeetable drawer and pulled out a cigarette and match. Neji flinched reflexively, but didn't complain-- after all, Shikamaru so rarely smoked now, the occasion must have called for it. But was it that stressful?
     The suspense was getting ridiculous, Neji thought as Shikamaru took several leisurely breaths of smoke. Then, in as casual a tone as ever, he answered with a simple, "Yeah."
     "..." Wait, what? That's it? Neji frowned at him. "Come again?"
     Glancing at him, Shikamaru gave him a slow smile, uncharacteristically open expression affectionately amused at the bewildered indignation on the older man's face. "I said 'yeah'. Without a doubt, I'd be willing to get involved," he clarified.
     "Oh." Neji felt his mouth go dry, and the unsettling sense of nervousness spiked sharply. Could they still live together after this? Certainly it wouldn't do to share the bed anymore-- he already tended to be hyper-aware of the other man's presence in any case, but this only made the vigilance that much worse. "Since-- since when...?"
     Shikamaru shrugged again. "Not sure. Not something I kept track of."
     "Before the teahouse?"
     "Mmhmm."
     "Before you gave me the key?"
     "Pretty sure."
     "... Before I started staying over?"
     "Well... I don't think so, but that's where it starts to get fuzzy," Shikamaru admitted quietly. "I probably would have rejected the idea on principal-- like I said, I avoided getting close to anybody I'd have to work with, so it wasn't something I really considered. I'm not sure when I realized I was attracted to you, or when I started to be, but I put it out of my mind."
     "I see."
     They sat in silence for several long minutes, Neji eyeing the sketch without really seeing it anymore, and Shikamaru concentrating on his cigarette. The latter was the one to finally break the thickening silence. "You're not going to run away?"
     "Do you want me to?" Neji returned, eyes flicking over to him.
     "Of course not," Shikamaru snorted softly, putting the thin, white tube to his lips.
     "Then don't suggest it."
     "... All right," Shikamaru replied.
     He internally debated the pros and cons of asking the obvious-- What do you think of me?-- as the other man's discomfort seemed to be a clear enough response. Neji's reaction was basically what he'd expected as the most likely of several outcomes-- uncertainty, trying to rearrange their interpersonal boundaries and figure out what was okay and what wasn't, worrying about what to do in the near future.
     These thoughts did weigh heavily in Neji's mind at the moment, but his focus was elsewhere. It wasn't as if Shikamaru was asking him out-- he'd kept his feelings to himself, and only told him on his insistence. But how strong were those feelings? How long could they still cohabit, knowing? Could he just wait it out and think Shikamaru would grow out of it?
     And then what if he did? What if he found somebody worth seeing?
     Neji furrowed his brow when he felt his hackles rise at the thought. But that was ridiculous-- they were just friends, and it made sense that they'd eventually part ways. They hadn't even really been close for long, after all; these sort of sentiments could easily change. Right?
     But what to do until then? It seemed ludicrous to disband a good relationship just because he anticipated an end to their intimacy. Besides, was he anticipating an end?
     When he was growing up, his focus had always been on the main house. Somewhere in the back of his mind was the idea that as an adult, he'd have a typical life-- get married, have children. He wasn't sure when he decided he didn't want children, or when the concept of settling down with a wife began to fade. All he knew was that he'd spent the last several years assuming he'd be alone for the rest of his life, devoting himself to his training.
     But something about that didn't feel right anymore. Alone? When was the last time he'd really felt alone...? He was comfortable here, and comfortable with Shikamaru. He didn't want to lose that. For all the man's bad habits-- the laziness that extended so far as to leave all doors open just so he wouldn't have to open them later, the stubbornness that rivaled his own when he actually considered something worth arguing over, the smoking-- and for all his unexpected quirks-- the drawing, the cooking, the wisecracks that were so subtle they often went straight over other people's heads-- he liked being here. He liked sharing space, and he specifically liked sharing space with Shikamaru.
     And to be honest, the idea of going back to living alone-- or at the Hyuuga compound, but as he generally didn't tend to talk to anybody there it was more or less the same thing-- scared him. His pride cringed at the word, but it was true: having had such a close, constant companionship, he didn't want to have to be alone anymore. He didn't want to return from a mission to an empty room, he didn't want to prepare single breakfasts again, he didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night by himself.
     With a start, he realized that he'd spent the last month-- or two, or however many more-- dancing around the most important question. How, exactly, did he feel about Shikamaru?
     A weary part of him knew that to some extent, the question had been on his mind. Even he knew that it obviously wasn't within the bounds of a typical friendship to instantly feel lighter when the other person walked into the room, or to feel the little shivers he did when held in moments of distress, or to feel almost lost when apart. He was aware of these facts, but had carefully ignored them, not wanting to change the content lives they were already leading. He never let himself dwell on how sometimes, just a smile could dispel all his negativity-- on how sometimes, the familiar teasing made him even more happy than embarrassed-- on how sometimes, he wanted to reach out and touch the other man, for no particular reason except to feel the warmth of his skin.
     That last one, he'd always been especially careful to ignore. Particularly when Shikamaru was fresh from a shower.
     Acting on an impulse he didn't know he had, Neji reached over and plucked the cigarette from Shikamaru's fingers. The younger man blinked in surprise as Neji put it to his own lips and took in a slow, cautious breath, feeling his jittered nerves and jumbled thoughts slowly settle.
     He put out the cigarette in the ashtray as he exhaled, smiling wryly at the other man's questioning look. "Testing myself," he explained, although it didn't really seem to explain anything. Well... okay, so maybe I am attracted to him. And maybe I've been denying it to myself for a while. That doesn't mean I want things to change. But people change, and relationships change... it doesn't have to be bad. And besides... why is he always the one to test the limits and bring our friendship forward? What the hell have I been doing, just passively letting myself get pulled along? A dozen repercussions flew through his head, but he stifled them in favour of acting on another impulse as he leaned in and brushed his lips against Shikamaru's, light and uncertain.
     Huh. Even though he'd known there was a possibility that Neji might eventually return his sentiments, Shikamaru certaintly hadn't expected this. Still, he wasn't one to let an opportune moment pass him by. After that first frozen second of surprise, he pressed into the kiss, lifting a hand to Neji's lower back-- for balance or support, of course. Not just for an excuse to touch him. It would be a poor idea to push his luck. It was better to let Neji control the kiss, after all-- he was the one who had the greatest reservations. And besides, there was the chance that Neji would snap out of whatever had possessed him to do this, and he'd pull away at any second with apologies and regrets and--
     Aw, to hell with it.
     A light tug was all the encouragement needed for Neji to slip closer, drawing against him. Despite how many times they had lain coiled together after one or the other awoke from a nightmare, this felt a far cry different-- invigorating rather than soothing, and much more intimate. All traces of their earlier exhaustion were long gone.
     After several moments of chaste kisses, hesitance slowly slipping away, Shikamaru traced along Neji's lower lip with his tongue. Fingers resting carefully against his jaw, he drew the lip between his own and suckled at it lightly. Startled, Neji's face did a slow burn when he let out a small whimper before he could stop himself.
     Opening his eyes, Shikamaru chuckled quietly at Neji's obvious embarrassment. Neji almost pulled away just for that, but all argument was lost when Shikamaru closed his eyes and kissed him again, this time cautiously parting his lips. He smiled as Neji followed in kind, and wondered how far he could push him just to test the extent of the normally proud man's compliance. However, he quickly dispelled the thought. The point of this was to not make Neji regret it, right? Right.
     Why was he even rationalizing like this when he had his unbelievably sexy, adorably intimacy-shy best friend wound in his arms in a delicious kiss?
     Come to think of it, when had Neji ended up on his lap? Not that he was complaining, of course. It was funny how things sometimes worked out.
     They reluctantly brought the kisses to a gradual pause several minutes later when their lungs protested the quick, shallow breaths they were being given in favour of a proper rush of air. Shikamaru dropped his forehead against Neji's shoulder as he caught his breath, hands having sometime made it beneath Neji's shirt to stroke his thumb against the smooth skin.
     When their heads had cleared enough to think again instead of spinning dizzily on an excess of adrenaline and absence of clarity, Shikamaru gave a low laugh. "Well... not exactly how I was expecting the day to end up." Neji smacked his head lightly, but he simply smirked. "Hey, I didn't say that was a bad thing."
     "I would hope not," Neji snorted, although he had what he suspected was a ridiculously silly smile on his own face as well. Apparently the temporary oxygen deprivation had done something to his brain, because with his thoughts still somewhat scrambled, and fleetingly coherent at best, he felt kind of like an idiot. Or what he assumed idiots felt like, never having been one himself.
     Managing to catch the tail end of one such fleeting thought in their comfortable silence, he tried not to tense up again. "So... now what happens?" he asked quietly.
     "'Now'?" Shikamaru echoed. "Does anything have to be different?"
     Neji did pull back then, frowning. "Well-- what are we...?"
     Shikamaru shrugged. "I'd imagine we're still friends, just something a little more with it. I don't want you to act any differently." With his hand still on Neji's back, he drew him close again so that the other man's sinewy arms rested around his shoulders. "... I did think you might walk out, and for a second, it looked like you were going to."
     "... The thought occurred to me," Neji replied softly, almost feeling like he should be whispering.
     "What changed your mind?"
     "I decided I disagreed with it." Neji smiled again, but this time it was more wry and almost self-mocking. "The hiss-claw reaction I had when I thought of you being with anyone else was kind of a giveaway, I think. Mostly, it was just how... peaceful and happy I feel being here, or anywhere when I'm around you. Which sounds horribly sappy, but please ignore that. I couldn't really picture living away from you anymore. Besides... your cooking's better than the Hyuuga chef's."
     Grinning at the playful addition, Shikamaru kissed the brunette's slim neck. "I think I like the first few answers better," he murmured. "Even the sappy one. Especially the sappy one. I think I like this new, introspective side of you."
     Neji shivered at the breath running across his neck, and it took a few seconds to get his brain back on track with the conversation. "Because you didn't like the old, self-denying side of me before?"
     "The old, self-denying side of you wasn't sitting on me, purring in my ear," Shikamaru pointed out.
     Neji sat up straight. "I wasn't purring!" he protested.
     "Yeah, actually, you were," Shikamaru returned easily, raising an eyebrow. He smirked the way he always did when he was about to say something that he knew would get Neji riled up. "Maybe it goes with your 'hiss-claw reaction'. Really, you're just a loveable kitten at heart."
     Twitching, Neji got off him and scooted away on the couch, head turned away defiantly. "Oh, really? I don't think I like that analogy very much," he huffed.
     Laughing, Shikamaru slipped an arm around his waist and pulled him close again. "Aw, did I upset my sweet little kitten?" he cooed.
     Starting to go red again, Neji swatted at him. "Quit calling me that," he growled. "That's something you should call a girl, like-- like-- Hinata or someone."
     "Hmm, you want me to call Hinata 'my sweet little kitten'?" Shikamaru asked, dark eyes glittering. When Neji opened his mouth to complain again, however, he caught his lips in another deep kiss, revelling in the newfound freedom to do so.
     ... Persuasive argument, Neji thought distractedly. Whatever that argument was to begin with. Something about a cat.
     It took a while to settle down again once they got absorbed in a hearty make-out session, but both of their bodies reminded them that they couldn't survive on kisses for sustenance alone. Breaking apart to laugh at their grumbling stomachs, they fell back into their usual flow of things, discussing what to make for dinner and how Neji wasn't allowed to use the oven after he'd set a loaf of bread on fire the last time he baked. But really, why wouldn't raising the heat just make it bake faster? It made sense to him. Stupid recipes.
     A few more kisses were exchanged as they cooked, then as they ate, then after they ate. The kisses were put on hold for each to take a shower, but resumed again afterward.
     This time, as they crawled under the covers for bed, they didn't wait for the nightmares to come. They drifted peacefully off to sleep, their arms rested snugly wound around each other.
· · · · · · · · · ·
A/N:

⋅⋅sigh⋅⋅ I really, really don't like writing big group scenes like that engagement ceremony. Mendoukuseeeeeee...

Anyway. :D Yaaaaay, first kiss! It feels so early to me... but I guess it IS chapter ten, and they HAVE been getting close for about seven months...

So, here's the illustration: http://shikaneji.deviantart.com/art/ShikaNeji-Chapter-Ten-81218663

... I just discovered that in Japan, chrysanthemums are a flower that sometimes represent homosexuality. Oh, my.

REVIEWS:

     Ilyoung: Yay. ^_^ Thanks for reading!

     TheLightsShadow: ... XD Most fics seem to start out with them liking each other. It's cute for one-shots and the occasional multi-chaptered fic, but I get tired of that. It's all about the backstory. ^_^

     Dying Dreams: XD I enjoy one-shots, but they don't usually make it to fangirly-adoration like a good multi-chaptered fic can. I like one-shots for something lighter. ^^v Like-- Kitchen. That's my style of one-shot. XD Even M'lady was gaggier than my tastes typically run.

     melvin3228: Thank you! That's actually something I struggle with-- trying to make Neji relax while simultaneously keeping him uptight enough to still be him. ^_^

     Zenith-Kaitou: I can live with that. Mmm, cookies... ♥ Actually, I just made some peanut butter cookies the other day. Num num. *offers*

     yaoilovergirl: You read yaoi fanfiction in front of your mom?! I wouldn't have the nerve! XD She'd fry me! (... If she could understand it.) But I'm happy you enjoyed the koi pond scene so much. ^__^ It was fun to write. :D

     Tyra: XD I don't always like Neji when he's portrayed as blushing, ticklish and virginal in a way that makes him really girly. It doesn't suit him to me, so I try to keep his uptight persona through it all. ^^; But don't worry about Shikamaru, he's used to handling Yoshino just fine. XD

     Annieme: Thank you. XD And Neji... on occasion sees glimpses of it. XD He just goes immediately into denial again. Like when he was pinned to the bed. I show Neji's thoughts much more often than I show Shikamaru's. ^^;

     Admiral ShadowWolf: If they were really attracted to each other and that happened? Well, I think it'd be just fine even if it were cold... they'd just go 'warm up' afterwards. *coughsmexcough*whistles innocently*

     pen_name: Whaaaaaaaat. *falls off chair* XD You're kidding me, right? I can't even begin to express how good Unspoken Rules was! Not just the awesome story and adorable characterizations and the insanely WICKED things you do with the Nara clan, but the way you write is so consistently awesome, and you-- okay. Fangirling sentiments in my head just massively jumbled up right there and made me lose any coherent thought of how much Awesome you are. XD And now, relevant to the review of the fic (we seem to have two conversations going here XD), "the trio of parents are just amazing"? What? XD What's so amazing aobut them? Buuut... XD I SO need to make Neji comment on the smacking thing to Yoshino one of these days. (If you don't mind?) Shikaku would have a field day.

     KatFO: You're welcome. ^__^ And like I asked yaoilovergirl... you read fanfiction in front of your sister?!?! I wouldn't have the nerve. XD My sister is super hyper Christian. She'd die if she knew the sort of stuff I was into. @_@;

     AngelicChaos: Erm... ^^; There won't be another formal one. XD Hiashi promised Neji that he wouldn't have to do this again, so all he could do was get the ball moving, back off, and see how it rolls. :D

     Sasurto: Was that kiss soon enough? XD Shikamaru, by our standards, would be bi, yes, and he acknowledges that classification. He'd just call himself "indifferent," though... ^^;

     digiditz: Sorry for making you wait. ^^;;; But I'm glad ShikaNeji's becoming a favourite of yours! That's wonderful! :D Thank you~ ^_^

     Tori: :D I'm pleased that Neji's imagined expression was able to amuse you. And I'm flattered that you reviewed mine despite not usually reviewing! *blush* ^____^ I'm sure you've watched more Naruto than I have, so kudos to you. XD Yay! ^_^ Thank you. ♥

     Duomi: "Is it just a dream...? Or just a wicked memory!" XD That's what I was thinking with that first line. And why was an exploding fountain hilarious? O_o;;; Aside from that it's like Meg and Herc. XD And you shut up about chapter spoilers, Miss Roommate. XD
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Chrysanthemum