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Hidden Heartache	By : shiinechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2057 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Disclaimer: Naruto
doesn�t belong to me and I will be making no money
from this story. This is simply a work of fiction by a fan.
Pairings: SasuNaru, one-sided GaaraNaruto, plus others
Warnings: Yaoi, angst, mpreg OOC, language, Naruto�s POV

Thanks to mystiewolf for the super beta job.

Hidden
Heartache

Chapter 10

The next morning, I awoke tired and irritable. The short nap
yesterday afternoon helped, but after a night of tossing and turning, my body
felt exhausted. It wasn�t stress that kept me up but
excitement. Today, I would see the baby. While I couldn�t
picture how it was done, I hated waiting for it to happen. Not all of my added
energy was excitement: some of it was nervousness, but after careful
consideration, I concluded that Kyuubi would give the baby everything it needed
to survive. Of course, I played a part too, but the fox wanted the child to
live, and if something was wrong, it would have been
mentioned before now.

It was pointless to remain in bed when I couldn�t
sleep, so I got up. The clothes the priest left were interesting. It was a
shirt and pants with sandals, but they were white, a color I avoided. I
shrugged and walked to the bathroom with my new outfit. I grabbed the shampoo
that was left for me the previous evening. Supposedly,
this stuff would wash out hair dye. Takafumi, also, called my coloring
unnatural and recommend this stuff to fix the problem. The hair dye served its
purpose, but if a man that never saw me before recognized its use then it was
ineffective.
�
I stood under the shower nozzle and started the water. Over
the weeks, I kept adding dye, concerned my roots would start to show.
Considering how much coloring was staining my hair, I decided that a lot of
shampoo would be needed. I poured half the bottle onto
my head and started to scrub my hair. Suds ran down my arms, down my back, and
into my eyes, but I continued to rub the shampoo in. When I finished, I stood
under the shower spray and let the water wash away the soap. I opened my eyes
and saw black streaks running down, and my hands seemed dirty, so my next task
was scrubbing out the black dye that lingered on my skin.

After drying off, I looked at my palms and fingers. They
still seemed a little blacker than usual, but that would eventually fade. I
continued to dress then started to brush my hair. When the tangles were out, it
was time to see the results. I looked into the mirror. My hair was blond but
not as bright as before. The black still lingered making it dull, but after a
few days washing it then it should look better. The length was starting to
bother me. I had started to grow my hair before leaving Konoha, but now it was
too long. I pulled out a pair of scissors and started to trim it. When I was
done, it was shorter but appeared messy. The ends were uneven and it looked
sloppy, but it wasn�t like I was going to see anyone,
so it didn�t matter. After the baby�s born I will see
a professional, I thought, but for now it would do.

A steady knock on the door called my attention to the clock.
It was time for breakfast. I opened the door and greeted the priest.�

�I thought you would still be sleeping,� he said.

�I�m ready and hungry,� I responded while smiling.

He guided me down the hall and up the stairs to his office.
I had a tour yesterday, so I was familiar with my surroundings. The building
had five floors, but the third and fourth floors were closed
off, along with part of the fifth floor. The second floor contained the offices
and the science and medical facility. The first floor had a kitchen, a large
library and a dinning area. My room and Takafumi�s were also on the first
floor. The other seven people who lived here stayed on the fifth floor.

We ate in Takafumi�s office; he had a separate room with a
table and chairs. He invited me to sit down. After dinner last night and
breakfast this morning, I realized that Takafumi usually ate here alone. With
other people living here, it surprised me that they didn�t
dine together. I had to ask, �Why do you eat by yourself?�

His gaze shifted as his eyes looked sad. �It�s
better this way,� he said. �You can eat with the others if you would like or
you can have your meals served to you in your room.� He was being kind and I
recognized the loneliness because I saw it so often in myself.

�No I would like to eat with you, if you don�t mind.� The
sadness started to disappear from his eyes and his body seemed to relax. I was
curious about this man. He had Gaara�s trust but he appeared isolated from
everyone else. Eight people lived in this large building, but he didn�t have close contact with anyone.

There was a knock at the door and the priest walked towards
it and pulled a cart inside. The person who dropped it off didn�t
even wait. Takafumi didn�t say anything, so I
concluded this was also the norm.

My attention focused on the food. Two plates filled with
fresh fruit and yogurt rested on top. There was a teapot with two small cups
next to the plates. It looked good. After a few minutes of stuffing my face,
the silence started to bother me. I looked at my host. There was no indication
of him starting any type of conversation. �Where do you worship god?� I asked.
This was something I wondered since the tour, but only asked to break the
silence.

He paused then answered. �We don�t worship god here. Our
focus is science and on improving life and protecting it.�

�Then why is this place called a temple and why are you
called a priest?� I asked. There were so many other names they could call
themselves, but they used religious terminology.

�In the past, we were also considered a religion, but we
dropped a lot of our views and now we only pursue science or to be more
specific the science of life.�

I didn�t want to push the subject,
but for a religion to give up it�s views then something must have happened, but
one more thing was bothering me. �Why build a big building for only ten
people?�

�In the past this building held 10 times that many. However,
after the ninja wars our numbers diminished and we haven�t had new members
since then, and I don�t expect that to change.�

There was more to this story then he was telling. The work
outside was amazing, and if he spoke the truth, why did they have top medical
equipment here and an updated modern building. If this place housed followers
of an abandoned religion then this place should also look forsaken.

But before I could delve into the
mystery there was something else that needed to be addressed; seven other
people lived here. I might trust Takafumi, but that didn�t
mean I trusted the rest. �With other people living here, how can you be sure
they won�t talk about me?� I didn�t know the others. I
saw a few here and there but they never said anything or responded to me. I was
as invisible here as I was in my own village.

�Don�t worry Naruto. The people here won�t
hurt you. I have invited you to stay, so that�s
enough. But if you need more, the people here have little or no contact with
the outside world.�

�Is this a prison?� I asked not understanding why people
would deliberately choose to remain here and not go out. I couldn�t
believe the inhabitants in this building practiced self-isolation.

�No the people stay by choice or perhaps necessity. Let�s
not talk about that,� he said before changing the subject. �How did you sleep?�

I didn�t want to be rude, so I let
him move on to a different topic, �Not too well,� I admitted. �I was excited
about today.�

He nodded, showing he understood my anxiousness. After
finishing his plate, he walked over to an oversized oak bookcase and pulled out
a black book. He handed it to me. �This is for you,� he said.

I looked at the blank cover before opening it. �It�s empty,�
I said as I leafed through the pages. �What is this?� I asked

Takafumi laughed. �It�s a journal to write your feelings and
what you�re thinking in. It will help you relax and lower your blood pressure;
even without a medical exam, I can see you�re anxious.�

I never had one of these and didn�t
know if it would ever be used, but it was a gift, so I thanked him and
sincerely appreciated the gesture. Nothing else was said
as I finished breakfast.

�Are you still hungry,� he asked, noticing my plate
practically licked clean

�No I�m fine,� I responded a little too quickly. I was still
hungry but with my nervousness, I thought it was best not to press my
luck.�

I think he understood because he didn�t
push the subject. �Good then lets go to the office so I can examine you.�

It was too soon. �What about Gaara?� I asked not wanting to
proceed without him.

�What about me?� Gaara asked walking through the door.

As we walked to the exam room, I thought about how
dependable Gaara has been and smiled, turning my head to the side so he couldn�t see. When I looked back, his eyes met mine and I
had to look away. It was to embarrassing to think he knew what I was thinking.
I sat on the examining bed and noticed Gaara staring away. He looked
uncomfortable, but he didn�t ask to leave.

The priest started asking simple questions. �How far along
do you think you are?�

I didn�t have to think about it.
�About four months,� I responded.

He nodded, writing down my response and then continued.� �Do you experience morning sickness?��

�In the beginning, I used to get sick and I passed out a few
times. That hasn�t happened in the last couple of weeks though, but I�m still
tired and always hungry.� I was trying to be as honest as possible.

�That�s good. Morning sickness should be stopping about now
but for some people it lasts the entire pregnancy, so you�re lucky.�

My eyes widened thinking about throwing up and passing out
the entire time. Maybe there was a god and my life wasn�t
going to be completely miserable. �I think my luck is changing,� I muttered,
but no one responded.

�The tiredness and hunger are normal. Do you crave certain
foods?� he asked and I nodded. �Well, that�s normal too and will continue to
the end.� Then he smiled. �Ok let�s get started.� He pointed to a scale and I
walked over. He recorded my weight. �From this point on you will be putting on
a lot of weight,� he said, like I needed him to tell me
that.

�What about his Chakra?� Gaara asked. I forgot about my
weakened, or should I say nonexistent, Chakra.

�If you really need some, then you should be able to use it,
but I wouldn�t recommend it. The baby needs it to survive. You don�t have the
same anatomy as a woman, so the baby is connected to you through your chakra.�

�Is there any danger to Naruto?� Gaara asked.

�Let me finish the exam and I will have a clearer picture,�
Takafumi answered and then turned towards me. �Ok lie down on the exam table
and pull up your shirt.�

I thought about the questions Gaara was asking. I should
have been thinking about those things; I wasn�t
resentful but happy. I made the right decision in coming here. I felt the
priest�s hands over my stomach. �Is everything ok?� I asked.

His hands started to glow as he used chakra and then he
closed his eyes. �Everything�s fine, the baby�s heartbeat is strong and you�re
about fifteen to sixteen weeks along.�

�How do you know that?� I asked.

�My hands can fell the baby�s heart and I counted the beats.
I can also get the general outline of the baby with my chakra,� he said. �Now
would you like to hear the baby�s heart beat,� he asked.

I nodded and he pulled out a stethoscope and started
pressing it into my stomach. He found the spot and stopped moving it. �Here
hold this.� He commanded. I grabbed the end and held it to my stomach and he
placed the listening end on me. I almost cried. The steady beating filled me as
I listened, holding it to my stomach.

Gaara tapped my shoulder, �It�s not over yet. You haven�t seen the baby yet,�
he said.

I nodded. He was right. The doctor put the stethoscope away
and set up another machine. I will use chakra to form sound waves around the
baby and an image will form on this screen. He laid a hand above my stomach and
moved it around. I watched the screen. �Oh there it is,� he said.

I looked at the picture but couldn�t
make out anything. It looked like a blur. I looked to Gaara and noticed the
same expression. I continued to stare but still nothing.

�There�s the head and look here is an arm,� the priest said,
pointing at different places. I looked for the arm and head but still couldn�t make it out.

�How can you be so sure?� I asked.

Then he looked at me and smiled. �Right now the baby is
small and you might have a problem making out its outline but as you start to
get bigger then it shouldn�t be a problem,� he said smiling. The doctor closed
down the machine and said, �Everything looks normal.�

I breathed in and out; releasing the tension that I didn�t
know existed. The doctor frowned.� �I
noticed during the exam your elevated blood pressure. I know you�re
nervous and tense but you have to calm down. It is not good for you or the
baby,� he said.

I nodded but it would be a challenge. Gaara then asked,
�Well, is Naruto in any danger?�

The doctor thought about it. �There are a few things that
need to be watched, but I am not concerned right now.�

�What things?� I asked. It was my body and my baby and I
needed to know everything.

The priest looked at me for a moment, and then he looked at
Gaara. Maybe he was asking permission, but whatever it was, he received it and
started to explain. �You body isn�t meant to have a baby, but it�s happening. Your skin will stretch and your belly will
grow, it will be a little cramped there because it wasn�t
meant to hold a child. There is a possibility that your other organs will be
affected by the pressure,� he said.

I nodded and looked down. �How will the baby be born?� I
asked. There was definitely no place for it to come out so I had to know.

�When the time comes, I will help the baby out by making a
place for it to exit,� the priest said.

He was being vague. �How are you going to make a place for
it to exit?� I asked.

�He will cut the baby out,� Gaara said.

My eyes widened at the thought. Terror filled me when I
thought about the process. �You can�t do that,� I said.

�It will have to be done or you and the baby will die,�
Takafumi replied. �But that�s many months away. What you need to do now is
relax and keep your blood pressure down.�

After putting away his equipment, the priest excused
himself. Now that I thought about it, there was only one way to get the baby
out when the time came. It still made me nervous to think about it, but I would
get used to it. I turned to look at Gaara and felt guilty. He probably had many
other things to do, �Sorry I made you come,� I said.

�No not at all,� he responded. �Are you ok?�

�Yeah, the baby�s fine so I�m ok,� I said and meant it.

He looked for signs of discomfort and I smiled at him. He
accepted it then asked, �How was everything last night?�

�Fine everything was good, but I�m a little worried,� I
stopped, thought about my words carefully, �How can you be sure the others will
keep quiet?� I asked.

�The people who live here do not talk to those on the
outside.� Gaara said.

�Why?� I asked. The gardens were beautiful and the medical
facility up to date. Why didn�t people come here and
why did the people here confine themselves?

�Something happed years ago and this place has never been
the same,� he said. �No I�m not going to tell you. Sometimes people do things
that are unforgivable and right now, I don�t want that
to cloud your judgment. You are safe here.�

The mystery started to unfold. What could have been so
unforgivable that they gave up their religion and became outcasts in this
beautiful place? �If that�s the case why does this place look so nice?�

�I give them money and support and they are working on a
special project for a council member,� Gaara said.

I thought about what he said. �The unforgivable thing that
was done, do you forgive them for it?� I asked.

�It�s not my place to forgive them, but I trust them and
understand why what was done was done,� he said.

�You�re not going to tell me,� I said but it wasn�t a question that needed to be answered. �Can we go for
a walk?� I asked

He looked at me. His eyes narrowed, trying to determine if I
was serious.

I smiled and started to push, �Come on Gaara. It�s just a
walk and with the costume you gave me no one will know it�s me,� I said.

�Your hair sticks out even now,� he said in a voice that
meant to explain everything.

I noticed the look. He was thinking about it. I pouted a
bit, �Come on you�re the Kazakage no one is going to question you.� Maybe it
was unfair of me to play on his arrogance. �Besides I can wear one of those
things your brother wears. No one will see my hair or my face behind the Anbu
mask.�

�I don�t know if this is a good idea,� he said but more to
convince himself then me.

He was caving and I pushed. �Gaara after a few weeks I won�t
be able to leave here, but I want to see the neighborhood and the people. I
promise only a thirty-minute walk. Please,� I said pleading.

�Fine, go get ready and we�ll see,� he said.

He was waiting down stairs by the door when I arrived with a
slightly different outfit from yesterday. The Anbu suit was similar but the
shirt and pants weren�t as big and looked like they
were mine. The shirt was open exposing the mesh shirt underneath. The headscarf
looked exactly like the one Kankuro wears. �I�m ready. It�s
different from the one you gave me but it fits better. Takafumi loaned it to
me,� I said.

Gaara looked me up and down examining my outfit for any
faults. He moved forward with his eyes focused on something.

�What�s wrong?� I asked.

�Your necklace,� he said.

�Oh!� I touched it through the mesh top. With the oversized
holes, anyone could see it. It was unique and easily identified as being mine.
I pulled it off and placed it on the counter, but thought twice about leaving
it there. What would happen if someone came in?

�It�ll be fine there,� Gaara said. �I�ve given orders that no one can come here
without permission.�

�Isn�t that strange?� I asked. Those orders would make the
place suspicions and worth checking out.

�No the orders were given before you arrived. That�s one of
the reason�s this place is perfect,� he said.

�Why?� I asked.

Gaara paused thinking about how to respond. �It�s not
dangerous but sometimes it�s best if others don�t come here,� he explained.

We walked around the block. It was hot under all these
clothes and the mask but I didn�t let it bother me.
The streets didn�t have many people. I wanted to ask a
question but wasn�t permitted to talk. Gaara must have
saw my curiosity and said, �This is the outer area of the city. More people
live towards the center.�

The thirty minutes ended too soon and once again, we were
back at the main gate. Gaara�s body tensed. There was something wrong. I looked
around then saw the problem. The guard was gone. �Stay behind me and don�t say
anything,� he ordered. We walked through the gate and heard a loud voice that
bordered on screaming.

�Where is he?� the voice asked and I recognized it. It was
Shikamaru.

�Go in the back,� Gaara said.

I grabbed his arm and shook my head, silently saying no. If
I was recognized in this costume so be it, but I wouldn�t
let Gaara deal with the consequences alone. He narrowed his eyes and wasn�t satisfied with my answer. �What about the baby?� he
said.

He said the only thing he could to get me to leave and he
was right. I nodded and turned to walk away but before I left, Temari burst
through the door, followed by Shikamaru, the guard, and Takafumi. I turned to
look like I belonged there.

�What are you doing here?� Gaara asked, but before anyone
could answer, he turned towards the guard. �You can go back on duty. I will
handle this.� He waited until the guard left. �No one is allowed here.�

�Yes the temple is off limits but not to me,� Temari said.

Gaara nodded. Of course, Temari was not
forbidden from any part of the village. I continued to stand behind
Gaara and stare, waiting to hear his response.

Shikamaru broke the silence and looked right at me. �We�re
here to see you,� he said and my heart nearly stopped. �But this man pretended
not to know you.� I swallowed. He paused for a moment, �I believe your name was
Sato, right?� he asked.

I nodded again. Then Temari spoke. �We wanted to talk to
you. It was strange I�d never heard of you and Shikamaru was curious about your
life and the difficulties you experienced because of your handicap,� she said
smiling. �Unfortunately, Takafumi pretended not to know you,� she said.

Gaara spoke next, �Yes well Sato was raised here and it�s
understandable that Takafumi would try to protect him from people.�

�He�s an Anbu member. Shouldn�t it be the other way around?�
Shikamaru responded.�

�My brain knows that but my heart doesn�t. He might be able
to protect his body but I try to protect his heart. I thought maybe you were
here to pester him about his handicap,� Takafumi said.

�I see,� Shikamaru said. He looked at me again. �You can
stop pretending. I know it�s you, Naruto.� He pulled out the necklace that I
had placed on the counter from his pocket. My hand went to the spot where it
belonged. If Shikamaru had any doubt, I had just eliminated it by that one
action.�

AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and commented on the
last chapter. Your comments help me see if the story is working or if something
isn�t, so please take time to tell me what you think
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Hidden Heartache