Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Psych Your Day	By : Sasunarufan13 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 862 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor make profit of it. Kishimoto owns it.

Chapter List
- 1-Psych Your Day
- 1
Author's note: Don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this. My brain is mush. Thesis kicking my butt. Sorry if this sucks; I have no clue what I wrote.
Warnings: Sasuke's pov; Alternate universe; slash; drama; sass; stalkerish behaviour; Not for Sakura fans
Sorry if this is weird
Psych Your Day
"Maybe I should charge you extra for the wi-fi," Neji grumbled, pouring the steaming hot coffee in the lilac coloured mug. "How long are you planning on hogging the seat this time?"
"For however long I can piss you off. Besides, got it on good authority that my presence is good for the sales," Sasuke smirked.
"Lee doesn't know what the hell he's talking about," Neji muttered darkly, shoving the mug over the counter. Somehow he managed to not spill even one drop in spite of the rough action.
"It wasn't Lee, but Ino actually," Sasuke said lightly. "She insisted I should try to show up every day, because it's good business. Supposedly there is a correlation between my presence here and the amount of women showing up and ordering the most expensive drinks."
"I'm sure we can make it without you as well." Neji glared and waved him off. "Now shoo, I got other customers."
Sasuke mock saluted him and picked up his mug, making his way through the small café to the seat he'd been taken up for more than two months now. It was near the back of the café, a plush seat in the corner with an outlet on the perfect height to connect his laptop with so that he wouldn't need to worry about charging it on time. He could work on his PHD in his own apartment, of course, but his older brother had got into the annoying habit of pestering him several times throughout the week in order to get Sasuke to leave his home.
Neji's café had been Sasuke's compromise: he was out of the apartment for a couple of hours and Itachi stopped bugging him about it. Really, for someone working as a detective with the local police force, his older brother had way too much free time to bother him.
He installed himself in what he'd come to consider his seat and while he waited for his files to load, he sipped from his coffee, his eyes idly gliding throughout the room. For how popular the café had become in the eight months it had been operational, it was actually fairly small. Five small round tables had been randomly put throughout the room, each one holding a small vase with a yellow tulip in it – Ino's doing. She might be co-owner of the café together with Neji, but she had still grown up in the flower business of her dad. Some cushy seats had been mounted against the wall, one of them being where Sasuke sat, with one single chair across the table for each of them.
The glass display cabinet at the front showed off all kinds of pastries and prepared bento's, courtesy of Chouji who worked part-time here. Neji and Rock Lee were usually the ones serving the customers, Ino only jumping in when it became too busy. Otherwise she apparently kept herself busy with the business side of the quant café.
"It's thanks to me that we get such great discounts for all these beans," she'd sniffed when Sasuke had uttered his befuddlement that Neji wasn't taking care of the business part.
Neji had a degree in accounting, so his decision to open a café and be the main barista had raised quite a few eyebrows by everyone who knew him well. Especially considering he wasn't exactly customer-friendly all the time.
"Neji-kun doesn't have the finesse it takes to score these great deals, so I took over."
"If by finesse you mean grant them a good view of your cleavage while discussing the contracts, then no, I certainly do not have finesse and I'm grateful for that."
It was still a bit odd to think that Neji was content being a barista as just like Sasuke, he came from old blood and had been prepared to take over the family business. One year ago, however, Neji had declared he wanted to open a café and four months later he had done exactly that. If this decision had landed him in hot water with his family, he wouldn't say and Sasuke wasn't about to pry either.
The coffee was great, anyways, and being here kept Itachi from bugging him, so it was a win-win all around.
He barely had time to look away from his screen when a pair of arms suddenly wrapped themselves around his shoulders. He tensed up, ready to throw off whoever the fuck thought they had the right to touch him, but froze when the owner of said arms – blond hair, that was all he could see before the man bent down to him – tightened his grip almost desperately.
"I'm really sorry, please don't punch me right now, but I need a really huge favour of you. I need you to pretend to be my date, because my ex keeps hounding me and I really can't deal with that anymore," the man said in a rushed whisper; the words tumbling so quickly out of his mouth it took Sasuke a couple of seconds to decipher what on earth he was actually saying.
"Your ex?" he echoed bemused, only now able to pull his mind out of the paragraph he'd been working on.
"She's coming in right now and I really need this huge favour, because I don't know what else to do anymore, please!"
Sasuke glanced past his shoulder, spotted a pink haired woman striding into the café, looking around with a thunderous look on her face before her gaze fell on the blond man still clinging onto Sasuke.
He really couldn't care less about whatever spat these two were having, but there was something in the quiet desperate tone of the man that had him giving in, already inwardly shaking his head at himself.
"Oh fine, name's Sasuke. What's yours?"
"Naruto and you're literally my lifesaver, holy fuck, thank you so much!" the man blurted out hushed before retracting his arms and flopping down on the free chair.
Only now could Sasuke see just how blue his eyes were. If he was a poet he'd probably compare them to the ocean on a summer's day. As it was, he wasn't a poet, but he couldn't deny the blue colour was quite mesmerizing especially when they lit up when Naruto grinned.
"So sorry for being late, but class ran out for quite a bit this time and I missed the first bus," Naruto announced, hauling his backpack onto his lap. His cheeks were quite pink as if he had indeed hurried all the way over here from the bus stop.
A student, huh? That might make him a bit younger than Sasuke.
"It's fine, I've been working on my PHD in the meantime," Sasuke answered smoothly, aware of the pink haired woman honing into them as if she was a missile.
Naruto's eyes widened a notch and he silently mouthed PHD in wonder it seemed, before flinching slightly when the woman halted right next to their table. She did a double take when seeing Sasuke, interest flaring up in her light green eyes, before she turned towards Naruto and crossed her arms.
"I know you've been trying to avoid me, Naruto, what are you doing here?" she demanded annoyed.
Naruto cleared his throat and appeared quite fascinated by the frog keychain dangling from the zipper of his backpack – which was a bright orange, making the green colour of the frog stand out even more. "I'm on a second date with Sasuke here."
She scoffed, the sound grating on Sasuke's nerves. "Yeah right, now tell me the truth."
Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "He is telling the truth. He's on a date with me here. Now who are you exactly?"
She turned towards him and the condescending look in her eyes did nothing to endear herself to him. "Okay, I don't know what he paid you, but I know there's no way you two are on a date together," she said and rolled her eyes. "I apologise in his stead that he's bothering you instead of being a mature adult and talk to me." That last one was directed at Naruto again, accompanied by a scowl.
"There's nothing left to say, Sakura," Naruto said stiffly. "Believe what you want, but I'm on a date here and I'd like you to leave now."
"Please definitely do leave," Sasuke smiled thinly. "Don't know what your parents taught you, but interrupting dates is quite rude."
She flushed and pursed her lips. She started tapping her heel. "Yeah, if you're really on a date, what's his last name then?" she challenged. "Second date means you know that at least, right?" she added triumphantly.
Naruto's eyes widened, a hint of panic threatening to break through, but Sasuke merely sighed bored. "It's Uzumaki. Any other stupid questions?"
She narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth, but was interrupted by Neji, who showed up with a steaming mug of … something covered in a ton of sprinkles, carrying the bored look he reserved for every person he deemed unworthy of his time.
"If you're not going to buy anything, I have to ask you to leave. The seating area is only reserved for paying customers," Neji droned, eyeing her not unlike one would eye a bug.
"Why only ask me to leave?" she demanded angrily and pointed at Naruto. "He's not a customer either! Hell, he's bothering the actual customer!"
"If he's not a customer, then who did I make this for then?" he retorted derisively, lifting the mug in question. "Three shots of caramel, four shots of chocolate, extra whipped cream and sprinkles – I can assure you I did not make this for myself."
"I didn't hear him order anything!" she shot back, narrowing her eyes.
"He's been here before," he answered clipped and narrowed his own eyes in return. "Now, seeing as you're obviously not a paying customer, please get the hell out of my café. You're disturbing the peace."
"Excuse me?" Her entire face reddened now. "Does your boss know how you talk to people?"
"Sure, he does," Neji answered laconically. "Because I am the boss. Don't make me repeat myself a third time, you won't like me then. Get the hell out of here. Now."
"This is not finished yet!" she hissed at Naruto, whose shoulders hunched up. She stormed out of the café then, making a useless attempt at slamming the door shut.
"I'm sorry," Naruto piped up in a small voice; shame and worry warring across his face. "I didn't think she'd actually make a scene. I'll go, I don't want to take up even more - "
"You're already here, you might as well take this," Neji said bluntly and placed the mug on the table. "You look like the type to enjoy this monstrosity."
Naruto picked up the mug and eyed it warily before throwing a scowl at Neji. "That's both offensive and," he took a careful sip; surprise flitting across his face, "rather accurate actually, how did you do that? I didn't order anything."
"I know how to read people," Neji replied dryly.
Naruto looked at him challengingly. "Yeah? What kind of coffee do you give him then?" He gestured at Sasuke, who was watching the scene unfold with some bemusement.
"Black like his soul," Neji answered monotonously and walked back behind the counter, greeting the new customer.
Naruto took another careful sip and licked at the dot of whipped cream smeared above his upper lip. "For such a dick, he knows how to make great coffee. How does he do that?"
"Been wondering that for quite a while now," Sasuke said dryly, guessing Naruto was referring to Neji's odd ability to guess a customer's taste. "Still don't have an answer."
"Does it have something to do with the café's name?" Naruto mused aloud, referring to the cryptical 'Psych Your Day' name of the café.
Neji had been the one to come up with the name and to this day none of them had managed to figure out yet what exactly it meant. Lee was convinced it had something to do with seizing the day and spending every day in the height of your youth. Ino thought it was some kind of clever reference to coffee and caffeine waking up people. Neji, as was usually the case, refused to offer any sort of explanation.
Clearly even the weird name didn't stop people from buying their coffee here.
"Probably not. He just likes being a cryptic dick," Sasuke said airily. "Don't want to be offensive or nosy, but you have terrible taste in women."
"Yeah, I figured that out thanks to her," Naruto snorted humourlessly. He kept his hands wrapped around the mug even when he sat it back down. "How did you guess my last name? I thought I was done for, for a second there."
"It's attached to your keychain," Sasuke said, nodding at the frog.
Naruto blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Right, stupid question."
"Any reason why you were so desperate enough to ask a complete stranger for help?" Sasuke asked neutrally. Something flashed in front of the window and he glanced at it, furrowing his eyebrows when he realised that Naruto's ex was waiting in front of the café. Quite persistent, wasn't she?
Naruto winced and grimaced, rubbing the back of his hand against his mouth. "I, erm, I was the walking cliché of crushing on one of the popular girls while I wasn't exactly part of the popular crowd."
"She was popular? Not because of her personality, surely," Sasuke muttered, snorting quietly.
The blond man smiled faintly for a few seconds before he sighed, running his thumb across the ear of the mug. "Somehow I managed to land a date with her, but after a while … I realised she definitely was not how I thought she was," Naruto went on and gnawed down on his lower lip. "She was … too headstrong I guess. Everything needed to be done her way and if it wasn't …"
He trailed off for a moment before he shook his head and took another sip from what had to be the sweetest coffee Neji had created so far. "I broke up with her, but clearly I had forgotten the important rule that nobody breaks up with her," he snorted. "She does the breaking, nobody else. She hasn't quite forgiven me for humiliating her like that, I suppose, and she's been bugging me ever since. I didn't know what to do anymore and then I saw you sitting here and well …" He blushed harder, staring intently at his mug.
"Maybe she wants you back?" Although judging from her little display just now, Sasuke couldn't fathom how Naruto had fallen in love with her in the first place. People like that didn't just suddenly become like that one day as if a switch had been flipped. There had to have been warning signs before he'd ultimately broken up with her.
"No, she's just pissed I had the gall to break up with her. Guess it irks her that the loser of the class doesn't want her anymore," Naruto smiled humourlessly. "Sorry I dragged you into this mess, but I didn't know what to do anymore."
"It's fine," Sasuke sighed. "Glad I could help."
"Right so, I guess I'm going to seek out another seat then," Naruto laughed awkwardly, glancing around the café. "Don't want to take up even more of your time than I have already."
"Sit, I don't mind," Sasuke said dismissively. "She's still outside, anyways, so you're better off staying here for a while."
"She is?" Naruto turned to the window, a dismayed look settling on his face when he realised Sasuke was right.
The bright pink hair was hard to ignore even when she stood with her back to them.
"Damn it," he sighed, slumping down in his chair.
"You can always call the police," Sasuke suggested after a bout of silence. "If she keeps harassing you like this, that might be the only thing that gets through her."
"No, I'm not going to waste the cops' time with something this stupid," Naruto muttered. "It's fine, I'll wait here for a bit. I'll text my friend so he can pick me up once he's off work. Don't want to argue with her on the street or in the bus."
"Suit yourself," Sasuke said and shrugged, returning his attention to his laptop.
"Where's your damsel in distress?" Neji asked idly, arriving at his table to pick up his empty mug, replacing it with a fresh coffee.
"What?" Sasuke looked up distracted, blinking when he saw the empty chair across from him. Right. Naruto. "Think he got picked up by his friend. He said he was going to text him. And he's not a damsel in distress."
"He sure acted like it," Neji snorted, sweeping his long ponytail over his shoulder. "Never seen a guy that frantic. I thought I was going to have to call the police for a second."
"That might have been the better solution," Sasuke muttered, picking up the fresh coffee.
Naruto had ended up sitting for nearly two hours with Sasuke, working on whatever he'd been working on, on his own laptop as he had waited for his friend to show up. The woman, Sakura, had only left right before Naruto's friend had shown up, a red haired man who had had a rather intimidating aura surrounding him.
"By the way, you're picking up the bill for him."
"The hell? I thought he had already paid after he got back from the bathroom?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes.
Neji smirked, collecting the empty mugs from the table next to Sasuke's. "No, told him he didn't have to worry about it, that it was already covered."
"Yeah, by you, because I don't remember telling you I'd be covering for his coffee," Sasuke said annoyed.
"And have your date pay for his own drink?" Neji's smirk deepened. "I've always known you were a cold bastard, Uchiha."
"You're an arsehole," Sasuke informed him. "Next time don't make something for him then when he never asked for something in the first place."
"Just fulfilling my role in the whole saving act," Neji said light-heartedly and walked away, humming. He stopped for a moment and turned his head. "So certain there will be a next time then? Glad the date went so well."
"Dick," Sasuke muttered and balled up his tissue, lobbing it at Neji's head.
Sometimes he didn't know who was more annoying: Itachi or Neji.
As it turned out, Naruto did in fact show up again. One week later to be exact with the exact same plea as before. Sasuke could have easily told him to fuck off, but he found himself giving in once more, watching Sakura storm over to them for the second time. She didn't even get the chance to start bitching again, however, Neji showing up in time to kick her out once more.
"Maybe she was planning on actually buying something," Sasuke remarked, watching how she marched away, stewing.
"Not with that foul attitude she isn't," Neji said decisively and placed his special concoction in front of Naruto again. "Here, next time get better taste in women." He paused, glanced at Sasuke. "And in men. Really, overall your taste just sucks."
"Still a dick," Naruto piped up, but he wasn't refusing the coffee – or what had to pass for coffee.
A pint of ice cream contained less sugar than the monstrosity Naruto was drinking from, Sasuke was sure.
"And she's still stalking you," he remarked, watching Sakura pace back and forth in front of the window, arguing with someone on the phone judging by the thunderous look on her face.
"She'll have to give up eventually," Naruto muttered; his eyebrows knitted together. "I hope."
Sasuke had the feeling that he was being overly optimistic now.
It ended up being a new routine for him. Get to the café, install himself with his laptop and his fresh cup of coffee, and work until he would be accosted by an increasingly apologetic and frenetic Naruto.
They eventually ended up chatting about whatever popped up in their minds while waiting for Sakura to give up or for one of Naruto's friends to show up – whichever happened first. They talked about Naruto's studies – psychology – and Sasuke's PHD; about Neji's scary accuracy when it came to guessing people's taste in coffee and little bits and pieces about their home life. Naruto talked about his mum, who was the principal of his old secondary school, and his dad who was a doctor and active in the local politics. Sasuke talked about the various charities his mother worked for and the family company father was hoping to rope him in for; about his older brother being the youngest ever to rise to the rank of detective.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, Naruto had become someone he looked forward to seeing every time, and the act they put up in front of Sakura started to feel natural somehow, less of an act and more the natural way of things going between them. Naruto confessed quietly that he was bisexual, but that his relationship with Sakura had made him realise that he had more inclination for men than for women and Sasuke told him that he'd never been interested in anyone before, but that he couldn't care less which gender his partner had.
That had Naruto grinning broadly at him, seemingly having completely forgotten about his ex-girlfriend still haunting the footpath outside.
From there on there was no longer any strain or awkwardness surrounding them whenever Naruto would show up and somehow Sasuke even ended up with his phone number saved in his list so that he would know when to expect Naruto and when not.
The one subject they barely talked about, save for the first time, was Sakura herself. Sometimes she would follow him straight into the café, all the way up to Sasuke's table until Neji or Ino – the latter extremely gleeful whenever she got to kick her out – would get rid of her and sometimes she would try to outwait Naruto in front of the café. Rarely would she leave before waiting at least half an hour if not longer.
Sasuke had been exasperated by her from the start, but he was getting to the point where he was seriously becoming concerned for Naruto, because Sakura's obsession with trying to reveal they were fake dating was becoming quite worrisome.
"Think the stalker will show up again?" Neji quipped, but there was no humour in his eyes when Sasuke glanced at him.
"Probably, Naruto texted he's on his way here and she's apparently not happy he refuses to apologise." He stuck his phone in his pocket.
"Apologise for what? For breaking up with her?" Neji asked in disbelief, turning around to grab the pot to fill the mug.
"Yep, apparently her fragile ego can't cope with the fact that she got dumped instead of doing the dumping," Sasuke said neutrally.
"That woman needs a good reality slap in the face," Ino said decisively, refilling the chocolate pastries in the display cabinet. "Or maybe ten of them, don't think one will be enough."
"Told him he might be better off involving the police at this point," Sasuke sighed. "But he refuses, says he doesn't want to take up their time."
"Well, guess it's up to his saviour to put an end to this bullshit, hm?" Neji suggested; an oddly knowing look in his eyes. "She's bad news for business, so make it quick, will you?"
"Why do you assume I'm going to do something?"
"Who else is whipped for him?" Neji smirked; his eyes twinkling.
"The hell? I'm not whipped, what are you talking about?" Sasuke glared at him.
"Yes, that's why you've been paying for the majority of his drinks," Neji said gleefully and pushed the mug towards Sasuke. Correction, the two mugs. He'd already prepared Naruto's coffee as well. "Shoo now, get yourself settled in before your beau arrives."
"He's not my beau," Sasuke said annoyed, but grabbed both mugs nonetheless. "You need a new hobby instead of being entertained by this drama."
"That's about the only hobby he has, though," Ino snorted, ignoring Neji swatting at her.
"Hey," Naruto greeted him with a fleeting kiss against his cheek; something they had started doing a little while ago.
Sasuke couldn't even remember who had started the kiss routine first, only that it didn't feel awkward at all.
"This entire day has been a shit show so far and I'm really not in the mood for anymore bullshit," Naruto grumbled, snatching some notebooks out of his bag. His face softened when he caught the mug waiting for him. "You got me my coffee!"
"That's not coffee, that's future diabetes waiting to happen," Sasuke scoffed. "I don't know how you manage to drink that crap all the time; how are your teeth not rotting yet?"
"It's not as bad as you think," Naruto protested with a laugh. "You should try it!"
"No, thanks, if I want to taste sugar, I'll eat from the sugar bowl directly."
"Okay, you really have no right to talk, Mister 'Black coffee is the only real coffee'," Naruto grinned, prodding his ankle with his foot. "That crap tastes even nastier than a cup full of sugar."
"Your tastebuds are just fucked."
"Will you two please stop this damn charade already?" Sakura demanded heatedly, marching over to their table. "Naruto, I've been patient long enough, but I've had it! Stop being so immature and let's talk about us!"
"There is no us, Sakura!" Naruto said heatedly, glowering at her. "There hasn't been an us for eight months already! Will you just go already and leave me the hell alone? You're embarrassing yourself!"
"I'm embarrassing myself?" she hissed, drawing herself up to her full height. "That's rich coming from the local class clown!"
"You know, Naruto has been way too nice about this, but I've never been one to play nice," Sasuke said coolly. "You either disappear now and finally leave him the hell alone or you can try convincing the police that you aren't stalking your ex."
"I'm not stalking him!" she snapped; her eyes sparkling with anger. "Besides, like you're actually going to call the police. You don't dare to do something like that!"
"No? You really want to bet?" Sasuke asked.
Naruto was frowning, but he wasn't doing anything to stop Sasuke either, which was as good as permission as far as Sasuke was concerned.
"Yeah, I'm calling your bluff," Sakura said, sneering.
"Who's calling whose bluff?"
Sasuke didn't even try to hide his smirk when Sakura yelped startled; her shock increasing when she whirled around and saw Itachi approaching them – with his police badge in full view.
"Hey, aniki, what do you call it when someone keeps bothering a person for months on end even though this person has made it very clear they want to be left alone?" Sasuke asked casually.
Itachi raised an eyebrow and picked up a chair from another table, bringing it right next to theirs so he could join them. "That's called stalking. I know you know that, otouto," he chided gently. "Why asking something that obvious?"
"Oh, no reason," Sasuke smirked, enjoying the way Sakura paled visibly before she abruptly turned away and walked out of the café.
This time she didn't wait outside.
Itachi looked perplexed. "What was that about?"
"Nothing, just my ex being annoying," Naruto said dismissively, but only a complete idiot would miss the sheer relief tinging his voice.
"Well, okay, I'm going to get something to eat and drink; my break will be over in an hour," Itachi said, getting up and going over to the counter.
Sasuke looked down when fingers touched his hand gently.
"Thanks," Naruto smiled. "Don't know whether this was planned, but I think she'll finally leave me alone."
"It wasn't planned exactly, but I knew Itachi would show up soon," Sasuke said and shrugged. "Figured she needed to be put in her place and I wasn't going to be nice about it."
"Clearly," Naruto laughed.
"That said," Sasuke said and leant closer to Naruto, taking note of the way his pupils expanded slightly as he leant closer too. "How about we indeed stop this charade and make it real instead?"
"Real as in …" Naruto trailed off, his teeth digging in his lower lip.
Sasuke hoped he would soon be able to find out how plush those lips actually were. "Real as in I'd like to take you out on a date – one which doesn't include coffee," he smiled. "You up for that?"
Naruto grinned, almost shyly, and grasped his hand, tangling their fingers together. "Yeah, I'm definitely up for that."
Guess Sasuke would have a new routine soon. He couldn't wait.
The End
AN2: No idea why I chose this title, no idea what I wrote. I'm going to bed, my brain is clearly offline.
Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.
I hope to see you all back in my future stories! Please stay safe and take care of yourselves!
Cuddles
Melissa
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Psych Your Day