Stay, Don't Leave | By : Sasunarufan13 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1160 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor profit from it. Kishimoto owns it. |
Author's note: So this idea just popped up randomly in my mind and wouldn't leave me alone until it was completely written down. So yes, this is the result.
Warnings: Sasuke's pov; set several years after the war; doesn't follow the epilogue; established slash; character death; angst; description of wounds
I hope you'll like it!
Stay, Don't Leave
All of a sudden everything had become silent.
The last of their screams died out, no longer echoing in the large, open space. There were no birds in the trees, no other animals sneaking around in the bushes. The rain hissed, streaming down, but the sound was muted as if they were in some sort of cocoon.
Blood red eyes gazed at his arm – his arm which he had violently struck through the other man's body, ripping straight through flesh, muscles and bones, tearing everything apart. Blood welled up around his arm, running down his own pale skin mottled with fresh bruises and scraped up, before it dripped down on the ground; a steady drip, drip, drip of which the noise was deafening, drowning out everything else.
Everything else but the steady drip, drip and their shuddering, halting breaths.
His chest hurt, his muscles screamed at the exertion he had put them through for what must have been hours now. His hand burnt, tingling with the memory of his Chidori. His clothes torn; his skin a canvas of bruises and bleeding welts, his lower lip split. He tasted blood.
A hand, wrapped in grey bandages, came up slowly, closing around the wrist of the arm still struck through a heaving chest. He hadn't missed this time.
His Chidori had grazed the heart and had pierced a hole straight through the left lung. There was blood pooling around them, mixing with wet dirt and rain, filling the air with its sickeningly heavy copper scent.
He raised his eyes from the bandaged hand, up, up, to a throat bearing a shallow cut sluggishly bleeding, to a face covered with red. To blue eyes which were dimming with every second that passed, growing darker and darker. The other one parted his lips, coughed and hacked, blood seeping out of his mouth, staining his chin with even more of the reddish liquid. His legs hung lifelessly; his body twitching, his chest heaving, desperate for every breath he could take, but he wasn't struggling.
He was no longer fighting.
He wouldn't fight at all anymore. This was the last one. Their last fight.
That finally jarred him awake and he stared with growing horror at the way his arm was piercing the man's chest.
At the way his limb was impaling his best friend, draining the life out of him.
He hadn't … This wasn't … This wasn't how it should have gone! He wasn't supposed to – they weren't supposed to – he had never been meant to win! Not like this! He hadn't meant for this to be serious, just some sparring, just pushing each other's boundaries, trying to figure out where the limit was, how far they could go, before …
Before …
"Sa-Sasuke …" More coughing, more blood splattering down, staining their clothes, dying them both red.
Stunned he stared into bloodshot blue eyes. "I didn't – I wasn't …" he stuttered, but there was no going back. There was no forgiveness to be sought. He had gone too far, had done what he had sworn to never do again.
He had never meant to hurt the one he loved.
"I-i-it's o-okay," Naruto said, smiling, but it was all wrong, wrong, wrong! This wasn't how he should be smiling, not with blood bubbling in his mouth, his teeth dripping with red.
He jerked his arm back and Naruto groaned, gasping and spitting out more blood. Hastily Sasuke lowered him to the ground, ripping off his cloak and wrapping it around him, covering both his chest and back, pressing down on the large, gaping wound in a fruitless effort to keep the blood from pouring out. His dark cloak steadily darkened further; the cloth soaking up the warm liquid.
"You can heal, right?" Sasuke asked desperately; a hint of hysteria edging into his voice as he kept pushing his hand against Naruto's chest, as if he could will the gaping hole to close just like that. "Kyuubi – he – he can help, right? You've done this before, I know you can heal this! Fix it!"
Naruto shook his head weakly; his blond strands, already stained with red, darkening with mud. "He-he c-c-can't," he said, shivering; his hand still clutched around Sasuke's wrist. "T-to-too m-m-much d-d-d-da-dam-damage."
"You're lying," Sasuke hissed, sliding his gaze down towards Naruto's stomach, where he knew the seal was located. "You've healed worse before, I know that! You can heal from this, I know it, so stop lying!"
Something was blocking his throat, making it harder for him to breathe. His vision was blurring as if he had exerted both his Sharingan and Rinnegan, but he knew that couldn't be it, he couldn't exert those, so why was everything becoming so unclear, why was Naruto becoming so blurry?
"S-Sas-Sasuke, I can't."
Those words, those three simple words, spoken in a broken whisper, were too much. They shrieked into his ears, bouncing back and forth around him, taunting him, making fun of him.
"You're lying," he insisted, refusing to believe something else. Any moment now, Naruto would sit up with that shit eating grin of his and he would pull Sasuke's arm away and show him his chest, show him that there was no gaping wound anymore. He would be completely healed, would complain about Sasuke going over the top and really, for that he should just treat him to ramen, it's the least he could do, and everything would be fine.
Everything would be fine and they would go back to how things were between them, they wouldn't speak about Sasuke losing himself into the darkness that was always lingering around the corner, the curse that every Uchiha carried with him or her until they died. They would go back to just being them, the two of them against the world, as it had always been and would always be. Sasuke would just have to learn how to keep an even tighter leash on himself, keep himself in control so that this would never happen again. It wasn't allowed to happen again and he would see to that, he would make sure everything would be fine.
Everything was going to be fine. Any moment now. Any moment now Naruto would stop this horrible joke, would take pity on him and would decide to stop freaking him out. Maybe this was Sasuke's punishment for not being able to control himself, for losing the leash, for letting the darkness take over, and yes, he deserved that punishment, but Naruto couldn't be so cruel as to keep this act going, when he should know how much Sasuke was freaking out now, how terrified he was of losing the last bond he still had left in this miserable world.
Naruto wouldn't be that cruel. He couldn't leave him. He just couldn't.
He forced a smirk on his face, ignoring how it wavered, paying no attention to how close he was to falling apart. "Come on now, idiot. The joke's over now. It's not funny anymore; it wasn't funny to begin with. Stop this so we can go home, okay?"
"Sa-Sasuke …"
"I know I went too far and I'm sorry, okay! I shouldn't have done this, but don't you think you're taking this too far? I'll apologise in whatever way you want, but stop this!"
He was hysteric, on the verge of losing it completely, shivering despite the fact that he wasn't cold. He felt sick, was going to be sick, and all he could smell was blood. All he could see was the sickly white face of Naruto, the red stains standing out starkly against the ghostly white skin. All he could feel was Naruto's chest moving slower and slower, his breath rattling in his lungs; the way his body twitched faintly.
"Come on, Naruto. There's nothing funny about this," he said thickly; his own breath shuddering and hurting his chest. "Stop doing this, you bastard!"
His wrist was released and hope flickered up inside him, springing into existence like a small flame. He knew it. Naruto was going to sit up now and pull his hand away and show him that he was already completely healed, teasing him about becoming so emotional. Everything would go back to before; they would be fine again.
He stilled when bandaged fingers cupped his cheek gently and his eyes widened at the tender touch; flaming hot against his ice cold skin.
"I do-do-don't bl-blame you, S-s-s-s-Sasuke," Naruto murmured, his voice almost inaudible underneath the pounding rain.
"Naruto, I - "
Naruto's hand dropped down, splashing mud around when it landed on the ground.
There was nothing in his eyes anymore. His blue eyes, dancing with life no matter the situation, were blank, staring glassy at the shocked man hovering above him.
He was no longer there.
"Stop this, Naruto," Sasuke hissed, desperately clinging onto the idea that this was all an elaborate, cruel prank of the blond to teach him he should keep control.
There was no way Naruto was going to die from this, no way he would just give up like that! He had survived worse, hell, Sasuke had impaled his chest before and he had been fine, this was nothing! They had fought a fucking war, they had survived the Juubi, Madara and Kaguya; this was nothing compared to all that! Naruto didn't die, couldn't die like that. He always sprang back, not letting anything keep him down for long. He was too stubborn to die, he wasn't a quitter, he wouldn't …
He wouldn't …
He wasn't …
He couldn't hear anything when he pressed his ear against his chest; the skin growing cold underneath his touch.
Everything was silent.
The ceiling greeted him when he opened his eyes. The curtains were closed, but there was still a small gap through which a sliver of moonlight had worked his way, painting a thin line of silver white across the floor and the wall.
Slowly he sat up; the sheets rustling when they slipped down, resting around his hips. His katana was resting against the wall next to him, ready to be snatched up immediately in case of an attack. His clothes were neatly folded on a chair next to the window.
The scent of blood lingered in his nostrils and he covered his mouth, breathing in and out deeply, pressing his eyes shut. His fingers tingled, felt restless and he imagined himself creating a Chidori and launching it straight at the wall across from him. He could do that: destroy the wall with an attack. It wasn't as if anyone would be hurt by it. The cottage was surrounded by nothing but trees for miles, located as it was deep in the forest.
Twisting around, the visions still flashing through his mind, making his chest feel tighter and tighter, he stilled when his eyes – one Sharingan red, the other Rinnegan purple as it had been since the war – fell on the sleeping man next to him.
The man was as naked as he was and before he could think twice, he leant forwards, hovering above him like an eagle swooping in for the kill. The other man was lying on his back, his limbs askew, taking up more than half of the bed, as he slept peacefully.
Slowly, oh so slowly, Sasuke reached out with his hand and placed it on top of his chest, covering the specific spot he had in mind.
He felt his heart beating underneath his hand. Strong and regular; a steady rhythm that hypnotised Sasuke, calmed him down with every minute that passed.
He didn't know how long he sat there in the dark, keeping his hand on his chest and his eyes fixated on his face, tracing the features over and over again. He could draw those features with his eyes closed if he had to.
He was woken up from the daze he had fallen into when the other one stirred; fingers and nose twitching as the man fought to wake up.
"You're awake." Blue eyes landed on him, stared at him sleepily, before narrowing when the owner of them realised where he had placed his hand.
"Yes," Sasuke answered simply, but didn't remove his hand. The heartbeat was quickening slightly, but remained as strong as ever.
"A nightmare?" Naruto guessed, still lying there placidly, allowing Sasuke to keep his hand on his chest.
As if Sasuke couldn't snap any moment now and kill him. As if he didn't realise there was still that darkness clinging to the older man, threatening to rise up whenever he thought he had finally got rid of it.
As if he hadn't been nearly killed by him in the past. Multiple times at that.
As if he felt safe with him.
"I dreamt that I killed you," Sasuke said, serene as if his insides weren't still twisted up from the nightmare. Acting as if the dream hadn't disturbed him so much, precisely because he knew how close he had come to killing the Jinchuuriki before.
Pretending that the thought of him losing Naruto, his personal sun, didn't terrify him so much to the point of paralysing him.
"How did you kill me?" Naruto questioned unfazed. He appeared completely unbothered by the fact that the man currently covering his heart with his hand had dreamt about murdering him.
"We were sparring," Sasuke replied, stretching and curling his fingers over warm, tanned skin. There was no scar there. He was completely unmarred, no scars to find at all. Kyuubi healed every wound, leaving no lasting damage behind. Only the bandages around his right arm, his new arm, were proof that he wasn't completely untouchable, that he could still be hurt very badly. Evidence that there were things even a powerful bijuu couldn't heal.
"I … snapped. Sent a Chidori straight through your lung, grazed your heart," he continued, keeping his eyes on his hand. Stretch. Curl. Stretch. Curl. "You bled out, because Kyuubi couldn't heal you."
The blond uttered a thoughtful noise. "No, I suppose even Kurama has his limits."
"I lost control. I hurt you. I killed you," he corrected himself; self-disgust colouring his voice. "Because I wasn't strong enough to fight it."
They both knew what he meant. The darkness around his heart; the one every Uchiha fell victim to once they lost all reason, once they had closed their hearts towards love after having it torn away from them.
The darkness Naruto had pulled him away from all those years ago, during their battle. The one in which they had lost their arms.
Warm fingers curled around his, forcing him to stop stretching his own. "I'm alive, Sasuke," Naruto said quietly. "It was just a nightmare. Nothing more."
His head shot up and he glared at the man; his Sharingan bleeding into existence. "I could have killed you!" he spat; his stomach churning once more. One wrong step, one wrong move and he could have killed Naruto.
"Yeah well, you didn't. Not like I couldn't have killed you either."
"I'm dangerous! There's no saying when - "
"I'm dangerous too," Naruto interrupted him calmly; his blue eyes meeting blood red and purple ones steadily. "I'm the Jinchuuriki of the Nine-tailed Beast, remember? The monster that attacked the village."
Sasuke clenched his jaw, curling his hand into a fist. "It's not the same! You never would have - "
"I thought about it sometimes," Naruto said conversationally, but his eyes were darkened with old pain and anger. "When I was chased away again, when people kept calling me a monster even though I didn't know what I had done wrong, when the villagers kept shutting me out … For years I didn't know what I had done wrong, what I had done to deserve their treatment. I could have easily become like Gaara, you know? Sometimes I wanted to let go, wanted to hurt them as much as they hurt me."
He chuckled self-deprecatingly and ran his bandaged hand over his face, keeping the other one curled around Sasuke's fist. "Come to think of it, it's a miracle the seal didn't loosen up sooner with how many times I was so angry I wanted to take revenge."
Sasuke shook his head, swallowed. "It's not the same, Naruto. You thought about it, but you didn't, because you're a good person."
Naruto sat up, but kept Sasuke's fist pressed against his heart with his own. "You're a good person too, Sasuke," he stated; his voice ringing with truth as it always did when he was certain about something.
"If I lose myself again - "
"Then I'm there to help you back up," Naruto said, sliding his hand around Sasuke's neck, toying with the black strands. "I'll help you find yourself again as many times as you need me to. I'm not abandoning you."
"What if I kil- "
"I told you I would die with you," Naruto said strongly; his solemn gaze piercing into Sasuke's eyes. "You're not going to hurt me."
His cheeks started to feel wet; two thin hot trails making their way down his cheeks. "Don't leave me," he whispered in a broken voice; his voice thick.
"I'm not," Naruto murmured, bringing his head closer.
Their mouths met in a soft kiss; bandaged fingers stroking his cheek. Neither of them deepened the kiss, keeping it almost chaste, but that didn't lessen the amount of love Sasuke could feel in it and he pressed his eyes tightly shut. That did nothing to stem the flow of tears.
Naruto pulled back slowly and rested their foreheads against each other. "There's nothing on this earth that could pull me away from you," he whispered, kissing some tears away. "I'm yours and you're mine and nothing's going to change that."
They were both broken. Two little boys who had been nearly destroyed by the world around them, who bore mental scars which would never disappear completely. The world had spat on them, but they had found each other; neither one of them scared away by the other one's broken parts.
They were each other's glue: holding each other together even if they would never become one whole piece again. Even if they would never not be broken, they still had each other.
They were broken together and Sasuke wouldn't have it any other way.
When they fell asleep again, Sasuke encased in a strong, warm embrace, Naruto's heart beating underneath his ear, their promise to each other lingered.
Stay.
Don't leave.
I'm here.
The End
AN2: It's not one of my most uplifting stories, I admit. Definitely not fluffy either, but it demanded to be written, so ... I hope it wasn't too bad.
Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.
I hope to see you all again in my future stories!
Cuddles
Melissa
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