Mandatory | By : DarkestMind Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Gaara/Naruto Views: 3323 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it, and I make no money whatsoever from writing this story. |
The desert sky is still, stars shining brightly throughout, the night air calm and cool. Peaceful, though there’s a sandstorm brewing in the distance he can feel in the tips of his fingers. It's Gaara’s favorite kind of night, and he watches the wide open sky more eagerly than you'd know. Waiting for the stars’ brilliance to be swallowed up by grains of sand. Their freedom blotted out.
He can tell as the storm nears, a thrumming feeling moving through his hands and up his arms. Gaara watches from the small round window of his bedroom as the storm decendes mere moments later, violently tearing everything from his sight. And he enjoys the show.
It's not true destruction, and when the air again clears the village will still be there. Same as it always is.
Gaara is glad of that, of course, Sunagakure is his home and his responsibility to protect. But sometimes… Sometimes he likes to imagine the desert opening up and erasing this place, and everything in it.
It helps to soothe some of the uncontrollable needs he often feels.
Gaara hears footsteps moving with urgency long before they reach his door, and for just a moment he feels a flash of anger. Nights like these are his sanctuary, when no one would dare come to him- until now, it seems. He should know already that nothing belongs to him, not even these storms.
The sand outside his window gains speed, swirling harder over the village, against the glass. Until Gaara bites his lip, letting his black rimmed eyes slide shut, forcing his emotions away again. Becoming still as the clay of the walls around him.
He doesn't react when the door swings open, doesn't care to know who's there. It doesn't really matter.
At least until the visitor calls his name, causing Gaara to jerk around, startled. Standing just inside of Gaara’s room, dressed in his full protective gear, was his older brother.
He hadn't been expecting to see Kankuro again, since Gaara had angered the older boy during their last meeting some days ago, and his father had said- when he'd come to see Gaara himself in the morning -that Kankuro had forfeited his position.
Pulling down the mask covering most of his face, Kankuro holds out a bundle he'd been carrying. “Hurry and put this on.”
A small pang of disappointment mixes with the immense confusion Gaara feels as he realizes the bundle is another set of the heavy, full-covering clothes his brother currently wears.
“What's going on?” Gaara asks, not moving from his spot on the bed.
Striding across the room, Kankuro drops the bundle beside him. “Just do it.” He demands, then- softer, like he didn't mean to sound harsh -adds. “Please.
Gaara complies, shaking out the garment as his brother moves to the closet, pulling it open and quickly choosing several pieces of clothing. He stuffs them into a plain colored satchel as Gaara dresses, then takes his harness and folds it neatly before adding it as well.
Pulling on the hood of his outfit, Gaara watches his brother’s frenzied movements with mild concern. He's never seen Kankuro like this before. Usually the older boy is more level headed, calm even in the heat of battle, but right now he just seems to be… Frightened. He fumbles through familiar handsigns when he tries to apply a jutsu to Gaara’s gourd, finally getting it on the third try with a curse under his breath, the gourd disappearing in a cloud of white smoke.
“Kankuro,” Gaara calls, stepping closer to his brother and putting as much authority into his tone as he can manage. “What's wrong?”
There's a span of seconds where Kankuro just looks at him silently, before he smiles. Genuine and sorrowful at the same time.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Kankuro says, cupping the back of Gaara’s head as he presses their foreheads together for a brief moment. “But we gotta go now.”
There's a sense of finality to his words- punctuated by Kankuro pulling the masks of their clothing into place -that keeps Gaara from pushing the subject, simply allowing his brother to take his hand and lead him out of the room.
Gaara seldom leaves his bedroom other than for missions and the rare occasions his father wants him elsewhere, and most of the time the door stays locked. A measure the Kazekage enforced for Gaara’s own protection, with only himself and one other having the key at any given time.
He wonders why Kankuro even still has his key as they move stealthily through the Kazekage's palace, adding to his confusion surrounding this whole situation.
When they reach the large outer doors of the complex, Kankuro pauses to pull two sets of goggles out of his pocket, finally letting go of Gaara’s hand long enough to hand him one set and put on the other. As Soon as the red haired boy gets the gear in place, Kankuro takes his hand again, holding tightly as he pushes one door open.
He leads them out into the still raging sandstorm- though its intensity eases slightly around them, -pulling Gaara through much of the village’s main street, before darting down a side road. They keep to the twisting backstreets Kankuro seems to know by heart for a long time then, not even pausing until they near a large, old and empty building not far from the village wall.
Kankuro stops them at a building across from it, keeping close to its shadow and peeking around the corner like they're on a high level infiltration mission.
“Wait here.” He says after deciding that the area is clear, stepping out into the full brunt of the storm. Kankuro goes to a door on the side of the old building, staying for a few quick moments, then gesturing for Gaara to join him. Pulling the door open, Kankuro ushers him inside once he does.
Inside the building is dark and filled mostly with some kind of equipment, large boxes, and one lone figure dressed the same as them waiting by the door. Wasting no time Kankuro strips off the bag he had been carrying, handing it to the figure as he addresses them. “Alright, just give me ten minutes and then-” He says- and Gaara notes an odd, almost nervous tilt to his tone and the pace of his words -using his covering to wipe the paint from his face and already stepping back towards the door.
“Kankuro!” The stranger calls, catching the older boy’s arm and pulling the cloth from their face when it muffles their words, revealing the soft, feminine features of the boys’ older sister. “Are you sure I can't do this part?” Temari asks lowly, sounding worried.
Smiling sadly, Kankuro shakes his head. “I'm the only one for this. And besides, I need you here. Don't forget that your job is the most important.”
“I know that! It's just...” She trails off, looking away from Kankuro.
“I'll be fine.” He assures, placing a hand on her arm and smiling when Temari looks up again. He then turns to face Gaara, who had been watching his sibling’s exchange with a growing annoyance for being kept in the dark. For a tense moment that's all he does, before quickly striding over to the smaller red head and pulling him into a firm hug.
Eyes wide, Gaara freezes in his brother’s arms. Though he's seen the action performed countless times by others, Gaara has never been a part of it himself. The embrace would be threatening if it wasn't so… Warm.
It's yet another surprise seeing that, before this night, Kankuro had been utterly disgusted by the idea of touching Gaara as closely as this.
It just serves to further Gaara’s confusion.
“You really only need ten minutes?” Temari asks, and Gaara can see the way her hands fidget with the bag she holds, again giving away her worry. Her fear.
“You doubting my skills?” Kankuro grins as he pulls away from Gaara, voice full of bravado. It's an act though, the tone false, the grin not reaching his eyes. And they all know it. Still, he walks back to the door almost proudly, back straight and head held high. With his hand on the knob he pauses again, looking back at Gaara first, then turning to his sister. “Ten minutes,” He says seriously. “And then- no matter what -you go.”
“I know.” She answers just as seriously, and with one last smile Kankuro disappears back into the storm.
As soon as he’s gone Temari turns around, walking briskly to an area behind some of the boxes and returning a few moments later with a small file. She walks up to Gaara, offering him the bag Kankuro had had before. “This has everything you’ll need, clothes, provisions, and a summoning scroll containing your gourd. You know how to use it, right?” She says, no different than when she explains a mission.
Nodding slowly, Gaara takes the satchel- that he now notices seems to be fuller -from his sister, putting it on when she urges him to. “I don’t understand." He says slowly. "What’s going on?”
“We’re getting you out of here.” She says, and for a moment Gaara can’t breathe.
“Why? Have I done something wrong?” He asks, head lowering in shame and a hand falling over his stomach after a quick moment of thought. “I know I’ve not been successful in my duty as a Jinchuriki recently, but I’m sure that, the next time, I will be.” He pleads, drawing an expression from his sister that Gaara isn’t sure how to interpret.
“That’s not, that has nothing to do with-!” She says, anger evident in her voice, though she takes a breath and tries to hide it when she speaks again. “Gaara, what father has been making you do, that isn’t the duty of a Jinchuuriki! Your only duty is to contain Shukaku, and use his abilities to protect the village, not...” Temari can’t bring herself to finish the sentence, and when he glances up, Gaara is shocked to see tears in her eyes.
Gaara hasn't ever seen his sister cry, not once in his life. She has never been anything but a strong and intelligent woman, a force to be reckoned with, especially on the battlefield. Even in dire situations where such a reaction would be entirely justified she always kept her emotions in check.
To see her brought to tears because of someone as meaningless as him is… Alarming.
It takes Temari a few deep breaths to calm herself enough to speak again, wiping the tears from her eyes before they can fall. “This life, it isn't what mother would have wanted for you.”
Eyes wide with shock, Gaara can only stare at his sister. They don't talk about mother, he learned that when he was very young. Only Yashamaru had the right to speak of her.
“But... I was born to serve Sunagakure. That's why she-”
“Mom didn't die for this, for you to suffer!” She cuts him off, sounding deeply insulted by the thought. “This village isn't your responsibility anymore,” Temari says, tone leaving no room for argument.
“It's my home.” He says simply after a moment, because it's all he has left to, knowing full well that he can't change her mind.
Temari looks at her brother sadly, like she understands though her tone doesn't change. “It doesn't deserve to be. We've failed you too many times.”
Gaara isn't sure if she's referring to the village, or herself and Kankuro.
Defeated, Gaara drops his gaze. “Where am I going?”
“To Konoha.” She says, wasting no time launching into a explanation. “I have a good friend there, Shikamaru Nara, he's going to help you once you reach the Land of Fire. Here's a map, with an outline of the path you'll take.” She slips a small folded paper out from under the file in her hand, giving it to him and pointing out the path she had planed. “In two days you'll meet him on the outskirts of Tanigakure, the map will take you straight there.”
“These,” Temari lifts the file in her hand so that he can see it clearly. “Are your new papers. Give them to Shikamaru when you meet him, he'll finish them for you.”
Gaara takes the file when she offers it to him, skimming over the contents and noting the lack of a picture, as well as the empty Name fields.
“I left those blank,” She adds after noticing what he's looking at. “So that you could pick your new name.”
“No,” Gaara says immediately, feeling another spark of anger as the door rattles against its hinges. “I'm not changing my name!” He snaps unusually loudly. His name was a gift from his mother, it's all he has left of her. It's one of the few things that truly belongs to him.
His outburst startles Temari, and when she recovers she speaks with the low, calming tone he's used to hearing from her. “I understand how you feel Gaara, but you have to. It's not safe for you to keep using it.”
Gaara doesn't say anything, refusing to even look at his sister.
“Please, it's the only way.” She tries to catch Gaara’s eye, but he turns away from her entirely. Making a small, frustrated sound, Temari tries a different tactic. “Think of it like an infiltration mission. You're undercover so you can't use your actual name, but it's still yours. And maybe one day- not soon, but a long time from now -you can use it again.”
It's the desperation in her voice and the look of fear he sees in her eyes when he finally glances up at her again, that causes Gaara to give in, answering with a gruff. “Fine.” The storm outside continues to howl harder than it has since he and Kankuro arrived at this hideout, though.
Looking over the incomplete documents in his hand again, Gaara can guess the next phase of Temari’s plan. “I have to change how I look too?”
“Yes, that's right.” She says hesitantly. “When you get a decent distance from the village, you should use a transformation jutsu to disguise yourself.”
Gaara should fight her- he knows -he should argue to just stay in his home, with his name and his body. With his family. It'd be safer, his siblings are putting themselves in senseless danger that wouldn't exist if he just stayed. He knows this, understands it, but ignores it just the same.
Because the truth is, deep down in the selfish part of himself he hides, Gaara doesn't want to stay. He doesn't want to be locked in his bedroom, to be subjected to the whims of those chosen by his father without any say, doesn't want to have to go through that pain again and again, the unbearable pain that caused Gaara to kill Yashamaru the last time, that might cause him to kill Temari the next.
He doesn't want any of it.
Even if it is what he deserves.
So instead of fighting, he simply nods.
“Good, we should get moving then. You understand everything you have to do?” She asks, starting to straighten her covering as she steps towards the door.
Nodding slowly, Gaara tucks the file of papers into his bag.
Pausing in her actions, Temari walks back to him. “Hey,” She says softly, ducking her head to catch his eye. “You're going to be fine, okay? You're strong, and you can trust Shikamaru. He may be frustrating sometimes, but he's smart- really smart -and incredibly loyal too. You don't have to worry.” The words are a comfort, but not as much as she may think.
She starts to move away again after a moment, but Gaara grabs her wrist. “You're not coming,” He says, knowing fully that it's the truth. “Why?”
Temari smiles, but in such a way that her sadness is more evident than if she hadn't. “We wanted to, believe me, but someone had to distract the guard, and if I left with you now I could protect you, but there would be nothing stopping father from killing Kankuro this time, and he will. You can make it to Konoha without me, I know you can, and if I stay I at least have a chance of keeping him from going that far.” Temari explains sorrowfully. “This is the only way I can protect you both.”
“I understand.” Gaara says, letting his sister’s hand fall from his grip.
“We need to go now,” Temari says, easily falling back to the tone she often uses on missions. “You and I are going to head for the main gate as quickly and quietly as possible, we have to stay out of sight. As soon as we make it through the gate you head northeast and you don't look back, okay? Not ever.”
Gaara hesitates, knowing that this is the end. The end of his storms and his home in the desert, the end of what little family he has left. And it scares him.
But his siblings have put too much at risk, so he steels himself, and though his voice sounds even when he speaks, it feels anything but as he says shortly. “I won't.”
Temari cups his cheek and smiles again, watery but genuine. “Be brave little brother,” She tells him. “And remember that we love you, that we always will.” Gently she presses her lips to Gaara’s forehead, just shy of the word scarred into his skin there.
A/N: First of all, thank you for reading this (or at least checking it out)! Now I'm sure from both the tags and the story itself you can tell that this fic is going to have some pretty dark things in it, but it's not going to focus only on that - like in life the bad will mix with the good. And in case you couldn’t tell this story is also pretty AU, while still being set in the Naruto universe quite a few things are tweaked, which is why you probably noticed some OOC-ness - and that was intentional. This story is also my way of dealing with college-induced stress, so I’m playing a little fast and loose with it so it’s also unbeta’d- as I don’t have anyone to do that for me -though I do apologize for any errors you find (please point them out if you can and I’ll fix ‘em).
Thanks again!
(Also, I’m sort of lost on the tags and rating for this, I don’t know if it should be higher or not or if I have all the tags I need (for example, I don’t know if I should tag for stuff that might happen but won’t be shown explicitly/really featured, or stuff that did happen but is only really discussed in story, or things that only kind of fit a tag) and I’d really appreciate your thoughts on the matter if anyone is willing to share.)
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