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Who Will Love Me For Me?	By : Kagenoshi Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1354 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor do I make any profit from the writing of this fic...If I did, neither Kisame nor Neji would have died!

Chapter List
- 1-Who Will Love Me For Me?
- 1
This is a tribute I wrote for Kisame. He was not my favorite character in the Naruto series, but his death made me cry all the same. It's a little late, but as I said in another fic I finally completed...Life happened.
Hope you enjoy.

Memories flooded through him. He knew he was going to die. There was no way those Konoha ninja were going to let him get away alive. And there was no way he was letting them get the information he had gathered for Madara either.
Hoshigaki Kisame sifted through the memories, examining each one before discarding them. He was searching...searching for some kind of purpose he must have had in his life. He remembered his childhood as an orphan before he was enrolled into the Kirigakure’s Shinobi Academy.
He remembered he had often sat in a corner of his room and cried. So lonely...so sad...so pathetic. Kisame was different from the other orphans and was often ridiculed because of his appearance. ‘Ugly’ as what one of the orphanage’s matrons had called him. Light blue skin, dull blue hair, dark beady eyes like a blood thirsty shark...How could anyone want or even love him?
Kisame used to pray every night before he went to bed for Kami-sama to send him someone, anyone who would love him. But everyday he would be disappointed as he watched the other orphans going with their newly adopted parents.

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done

Or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

He mentally pushed that memory aside. It only served to remind him how worthless and unnecessary his life was. But then an image of a woman came to his mind.

She was beautiful...he remembered. Those dark jade and hazel eyes, creamy, flawless skin, and a smile that could make any man turn to putty in her hands. And yet...she was so kind, soft, quiet and gentle...everything he was not. Why was he remembering her?

A wry smile came to his blood-drenched lips. Oh yeah...

Kisame had met her on an assassination mission which took him two months to complete when he was still a Kiri ANBU. His story as he told her was that he was sent to the village because of rumors that enemy ninja were about to infiltrate the border of Water, in which her village was the closest to the border and vulnerable to attack. He told her that he had been sent there for information gathering and that another team should be along after he contacted Kiri. She believed him and, looking past his strange features and intimidating presence, allowed him to stay in her home.

That woman...the way she would smile at him when she served his meal. He could remember feeling the blush rising into his cheeks and trying to smother it before it could surface. She was, after all, still a married woman. But it didn’t stop him from talking to her and he found out some interesting things about her.

Her husband had abandoned her to be with another woman. She felt that if she was prettier...thinner...maybe he wouldn’t have left her to be with someone who was. Kisame told her that she was being ridiculous and that she was insane if she really didn’t think she was beautiful.

“Believe me I know ugly,” he had said to her, subtly indicating his appearance, “and you’re not.”

She was quiet but he could see the flush spread across her face. A moment of heavy silence had passed before she spoke again.

“Kisame-san...” She hesitated, and the Kiri nin stared at her wondering what was on her mind, before she pressed forward with her words, “Do you...think that...anyone could ever really love me?”

Sure he was a shinobi and the rules state that you can’t show emotion, but what she had said floored him. Those exact words that were embedded in his heart from the day he was born. Kisame couldn’t help but feel or show emotion...she was a kindred spirit after all.

The Kiri nin took her diminutive, soft hand into his large and calloused, light-blue hand, “Why not?”

He pulled her towards him and leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers. She stiffened a moment in surprise, but then relaxed and allowed him to kiss her.

And it was over...just like that.

Her body slumped in his arms after he pulled his lips away from hers. He gently lowered her to the ground and pulled the katana from the left side of her chest where he had impaled her with it.

He mused the feeling of an emptiness, a void and a tightness in his chest when he examined her cold dead corpse. Her husband was one of the lesser daimyos of Water Country and wanted her eliminated so he could marry his new lover. The damn coward didn’t want the public disgrace of a divorce so he chose to hire Kiri to kill her. But Kisame couldn’t let his feelings get in the way of the mission. She was his target after all...

But it still didn’t stop him from crying after the job was done. He hadn’t meant to get emotionally involved with his target, but...maybe it was because he was lonely and she was lonely too. What had caused him this deep emptiness in his soul was the thought of if things had been different...maybe...just maybe he might have had an opportunity to have someone in his life that would look past his ugliness and love him for who he was.

That was the first and only time he ever showed emotion on an assassination mission. That night he made an oath to himself. Never again would he allow himself to get emotionally attached to anyone else again. Shortly thereafter, he went on a mission assigned by his master to protect a team of cryptographers. He killed them in cold blood to prevent the Kiri codes from falling into enemy hands. And he felt nothing...because after all, he was living a false existence anyway.

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done

Or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

Kisame could feel the stinging in his eyes, but they would not give up tears. He floated in the water prison he created around himself for just a moment, letting the agonizing emotions that the memory brought to the surface engulf him like the water surrounding him. The S-class criminal from Kiri used his Kuchiyose no Jutsu to summon five sharks in the water prison.

He closed his eyes once the sharks started their attack. He had lost any and all faith for a supreme being...so why now? Why pray? What purpose would it serve? Then her face appeared in his mind again.

“I believe that Kami-sama loves us all...he knows our suffering and is waiting for us to call out to him so he can show us who he really is...”

The statement was from a discussion of the existence of Kami. He couldn’t understand how a loving and caring deity could allow anyone to suffer, therefore, in Kisame’s mind, Kami-sama was another lie. But she believed in Kami-sama til the bitter end. So, maybe this once, he would believe for her sake.

And for the first time since he was a child, his mind uttered a prayer from the very depths of his being.

Forgive me for all I have done, Kami-sama.

I know a murderer like me doesn’t deserve it.

I’ve never really done anything in my life worthy of praise.

But please…

Please…

I want to come home…

Kisame felt the life drift out of him, along with the pain that he sustained quietly as he was torn to pieces and devoured, as a heaviness replaced the life in him.

And then he felt light as if he was floating. When the former Kiri nin opened his eyes, he was suddenly blinded by an iridescent illumination that completely surrounded him. All life from where he departed was gone…except for the soft gentle voice of a woman.

I know you’ve murdered

And I know you’ve lied

And I’ve watch you suffer

All of your life

And now that you’re listening

I’ll tell you that I…

Kisame stiffened as he felt arms encircle him and a swarm of emotions rushed through him as he saw the same woman that he had murdered so long ago…holding him. He relaxed in her arms as his own enveloped her; her warmth flowing into him like life. In that moment, he felt complete…the emptiness, the void, was gone. And as he stood there taking in the most blissful moment of his entire existence, he let her final words burn into his being forever.

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done

Or what you have become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew.

~Owari~
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Who Will Love Me For Me?