Cinders and Rain | By : Snowway32 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1302 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters therein. I do not make any money from this it is purely written for my own pleasure |
I have been rereading over my works and sadly I have deleted self - Assassination because I frankly hate it. However; because I am taking away one of my stories it is one of my policies to put on back. Well; it's been a while since I've written first person singular which makes the story just that much more personal. This one will be based on the story I was going to continue with in Self - Assassination but an entirely new story line and plot. Only the first chapter will be almost the same as the last chapter of S-A. Anyways I am trying a new technique with my writing, a pairing that is unfamiliar to me and also a new style. Fugaku is the main point of view and the one who is telling the story; it's interisting to put yourself in a character's shoes - he is not as cold as the Manga and anime portray him to be and remember he's about nineteen twenty in this story; yes he was that young once... Pairings of this will include: Minato/Fugaku and much later in the story Naru/Sasu and will contain incest. But that comes much, much later. Angst is my speciality so get you tissues ready for this one. That's it for now though; please enjoy. ---------------------------- Time might as well be standing completely still; I cannot imagine any form of excitement coming my way. The times of lectures, tutorials and assignments for me is a bother because I absolutely despise my university life. Especially after being forced to be here and study something that I want nothing to do with. I would rather have studied to become a history professor than economical genius but then again my father demanded I take over the company after he retired. Economics; accounting and management are tiring; I can barely keep awake in the lectures even if I force myself. The content I know already after being forced to learn it with private tutors since I was young; all this information is redundant. If I am lucky this semester maybe Kami-sama will provide me with some form of entertainment before I lose my mind; I cannot bare to spend another lecture fast asleep and still manage to get top grades. That just doesn't make sense. It is the start of the second semester today and Father has once again sent me with six personal bodyguards; he can be so paranoid. I just hope that my new roommate doesn't mind random pat downs' and interrogation. Maybe I should apologize to him before he comes here: 'Uchiha's never apologize to anyone.' God; I hate that voice. It sounds just like my father; overbearing, annoying and cold. Is it alright for me to show so much excitement at being promised a roommate? These days I don't really know what to feel anymore; I have been taught to never show emotions but I wonder even now if it is possible to have such an emotional void in my soul as I do today. As an Uchiha I am often seen as stoic and cold; the 'Ice Bastard' as I was 'lovingly' known throughout high school years is still a prominent expression used when speaking about me. It is quite hurtful when I was in actual fact just a lonely child who didn't know how to express emotions or how to convey them properly. I can relate this back to my beloved Father - who kept any form of social contact with kids my own age to minimum and distanced me from society out of paranoia. Growing up I mostly occupied my time in the library; filling my mind with fantastical stories of the Uchiha Clan in the shinobi era, world history and anything I could get my hands on. By the time I was nine I had already read every single book on Uchiha history and even today I am still fascinated by the origins of our clan. "I'm sorry; is this room 408?" I started at my desk; the leather-bound book falling from lax fingers in my fright. I really wasn't expecting that so I my best glare on the person who dared to interrupt my thoughts and reading. I absolutely hated being interrupted - especially when I am reading. However, my breath stalled in my chest as I looked at the person who would dare interrupt me - something inside of sparked and warmth glowed in my stomach. What was this feeling? Lust, no it was more intense - beautiful, wild, blonde hair, ocean blue eyes and tan skin. He was even taller than me and that in itself is a great feat. I was slightly stunned; which was rare for even me. My words refused to come as my mind flitted towards the gutter... "Did I not say it properly," The person continued with a scathing tone. "Is. This. Room. 408?" I take my words back; he's a complete bastard. I thought to myself as I glared the perfect Uchiha death glare that used to have people cowering before me. Frowning when didn't seem to faze the blonde haired idiot before me. The blonde merely crossed his arms and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I had to give it to him though; he had nerve... "Look Mr. Broody; I need to know if I found the right dorm room..." He trailed off when I smirked slightly; turning back to my book with a small nod. I didn't like to talk; sometimes I said the wrong things and I was afraid of what I may just say. Especially since I kept my sexuality a secret from Father and Mother. It would not do well for them to know; I was after all expected to do everything they asked of me without question. "I can see you are the silent, broody type. Mr Goth; such a dark get up. Black, black and more black - I think we need to give you some colour..." I startled when his hands rested on my shoulders - I flinched violently. The touch brought forth memories I did not want to remember, luckily he pulled back at my flinch before blue eyes stared into mine - obviously witnessing the weakness of fear that flashed in my black eyes. I turned my head away; closing my eyes as I took a deep breath. When I watched him hang his head in his hands as he sat on his bed I felt guilt crawl through me; had I done something wrong? I was afraid of disappointing people. "Sorry," I said with a small blush; I was not used to apologizing but something about the blonde before made me want to throw away all the tradition and rules I had learned from my father. I wanted to make a friend, one that didn't treat me as if I was a stepping stone for their popularity. "Uchiha Fugaku." I said after a while of silence; maybe it would help if I introduced myself first. I offered my hand for him to shake only to receive a chuckle before the tall blonde threw himself at me; arms coming around my shoulders in an embrace. I noise of surprise spilled from my lips; I was not used to the sudden display of affection and somehow it made fear settle over my heart. When he refused to let go after thirty seconds I could feel that infuriating little blush spread across my cheeks again; only a bit darker this time. I really had no idea how to react. "Such adorable expressions; you blush so cutely Fu-chan! I'm Namikaze Minato and you can call me Minato or just Mina-chan." I was absolutely stunned; I had never met such a person before and couldn't help the blush from sticking to my features. I wondered if this was going to be a permanent fixture on my cheeks. It certainly seemed like it when a hand twined with mine as Minato pulled me away from my book and desk before winding a light blue scarf around my neck. The touch was making me shudder; the material brushing up against my neck was warm with his body heat and smelled of sunshine and sweet tea. "We have to get you used to colour and touch;" Minato said cheerfully as he dragged me out the door by my wrist. "I have declared you as my cute boyfriend and I am taking you out for Ramen." ~ "Minato? I-I..." It was the first time I found myself stuttering; my roommate was brash, loud, gentle and all in all just a bright ray of sunshine just as I was the complete opposite. Dark, broody, quiet, reserved and cold - I was the shadows hidden in the moon's rays. It was a wonder that we got along at all and yet in those few hours that Minato dragged me through campus and the streets of Tokyo I hadn't felt more comfortable with anyone else but him. It was a strange sensation; luckily it seemed the shadows that always followed me had decided to leave me alone today. I just hoped they did not report this back to my father. Looking at Minato now made me wonder how anyone could accept someone like me; I was emotionally stunted, I was filled with insecurities and way too dark for someone as bright as this person sitting next to me. The wind was cold and crisp against my skin; a testament that it was the beginning of a cold autumn. It was wreaking havoc with my shoulder length hair and yet Minato seemed to think this was hilarious; even going so far as to call it the 'Legendary Uchiha Windswept Look'. I could do nothing but merely scowl at that statement. "So Fu-chan; what would you like?" Minato asked excitedly next to me. I frowned; never before had I been given the opportunity to eat Ramen and now that I was staring at the large menu selection I was feeling a bit intimidated. Looking at Minato bewildered before rubbing at my temples; the feeling of an oncoming headache making my mind spin. I cursed my health; it was never supposed to affect me when I was remotely happy but I never really experienced happiness before. I hated my constant migraines; especially on cold days. "I-I don't know." I said honestly after a while; my mother had said that it was always best to tell the truth. For once I really had no idea what I wanted or how I should be reacting to his kindness. Would he expect something in return? I was afraid when that would come; the payment they all wanted of being nice to me. This was why I was so afraid to trust people. Yet, something about Minato seemed so simple and honest that I didn't know if I should believe him or not. "Hmm; then I will order for you. I promise you'll like it." He said after skimming the menu again; I merely nodded - sipping at my cup of sake as Minato ordered for both of us. Maybe I should try and break those walls around my heart? What to do in such a situation... "What’re you thinking about?" I started at Minato's sudden closeness; snapping my attention back to my companion. Shuddering slightly under the scrutiny I found myself under; I could not shake the feeling that those ocean blue eyes could look straight through my soul and read my deepest darkest secrets. It was both frightening and liberating at the same time. I averted my eyes; afraid of what I would see reflected in those eyes; my pain, hatred and fear. So many negative emotions and from someone not expected to show anything. "Hn." I settled for a noncommittal reply; not knowing if I should tell him what was really going on in my mind. Minato's laughter was rich in my ears and broke the stoic exterior I had been conditioned into showing for the world. I hadn't even known this person for more than three hours and he had already made me say more words than I have said in a week. "Fu-chan; you are so cute. But, such sorrow and sadness; it makes me want to help you. I have decided to stay by your side even when you try to avoid me. You are mine now." Those words for some reason were engraved on my heart. I never took Minato for the possessive type but he has been full of surprises today. I, for the first time in my entire life, smiled a genuine smile. One only my beloved mother got to see; a smile that warmed me from the inside. "Such a beautiful smile; I'm going to enjoy seeing all those expression you hide so well." I blushed at the fingers brushing over my cheek; his fingers were warm and soft - nothing like my weapon calloused hands. Wait when had he gotten so close? I was fighting with my body to not show my embarrassment but it wasn't helping. "Hn." I repeated; not knowing what to say to that. Averting my eyes in embarrassment; I was not sure why my heart was beating so fast and the world around me seemed to swim in and out of focus. Those blue eyes were so captivating, so honest and open; Minato was everything I have ever wanted to be but could never be. My personality just wasn't sculpted that way; carefree, openly loving and gentle. "Hey, hey Fugaku - as a rule there is no sulking at the Ramen Bar. Especially not at Ichiraku's and with Teuichi-sama present. Ne Jiji?" "Hai; Minato is right - no sulking." For some odd reason our hands twined together beneath the bar after that; automatically shifting closer together; it was almost a magnetic force that seemed to attract us. ----------------------- The conversation between us seemed to flow easily after I found out that Minato was studying for a BA in literature and that he transferred to Tokyo when his father decided he would be better off at T University. I on the other hand had been sent to T University because of my status as an Uchiha and the inherited business genius of the family. How he managed to get me talking so much I would never know but the words just seemed to bubble to the surface and spill from my mouth incessantly. "You're so lucky; Minato. You don't know how much I wish to be able to study what I want and not be expected to walk in my father's footsteps." I said. Minato had walked me to a local park a few blocks away from the University Campus; after we first held hands I was addicted to physical contact and I couldn't stop myself. It was so comforting and being deprived of that sort of contact since I was a child; I just wanted to feel normal; like I wasn't an object to covet but an actual person with a heart and soul. Minato inexplicably made me feel like that and now as we sat on an empty bench I could once again feel the cold flush my cheeks red as a shiver of cold chased up my spine. Our knees brushed together pleasantly and I bit my lip to try and control my emotions; this conversation had turned heavy with regret and difficult subjects for me. Things I never talked about. "What's with the sullen mood Fu-chan? I thought we established that no brooding was allowed while you are with me." I sighed; closing my eyes. I was utterly confused by my feelings and this sudden urge to pour out my soul to this person who had been showing nothing but genuine kindness; would I be able to go against everything I have been taught my whole life? "I want to be a historian." I said after a long silence; surprised when I felt Minato shift; pulling my head against his shoulder as fingers carding through my hair. I couldn't help the involuntary shudder that travelled through my body. Something about Minato's touch made my stomach curl with anticipation and the need for more. It was intoxicating. "Then why don't you just change your degree?" I looked up at the endless expanse of stars and the new moon and scowled harshly; if only it had been that simple. If only the stars could tell; but they were always so selfish... "Yeah sure and tell my legendary cold father what? That I - his sickly, useless heir - had decided to disobey him? He won't be very happy; hell if I didn't know better I'd get assassins sent after me just for disappointing him." I said with venom; maybe I was overreacting but I myself knew that the consequences for disobeying my father would be harsh. The number one rule in the Uchiha household was that no matter the situation - one never disobeys the Uchiha Patriarch and whatever he dictates must be done. "You're kidding me right? No father is that cold." I chuckled bitterly; turning dark eyes to meet with concerned blue. "You'd be surprised." I said softly after a while of tense silence. "When I was born into the Uchiha family my fate was decided by my father. I had strings of tutors my whole life just to make sure that I would always remain at the top of my class; all preparing me to take over my father's company. I did not speak to Father unless I was forced to bow before him formally and address him as 'Uchiha-sama' in front of guests." "I was always seen as weak in his eyes and he believed that training me to wield the Kusanagi would build character. Tell me Minato; what child at six has to start fighting with a katana to prove to his father that he would be worthy of an ounce of his affection and love?" I finished softly; my home live had never been a happy place and the only place I could find any sort of solace was amongst the history books in our library and the separate research I started as a child. For me life in the Uchiha household was normal until I realized at nine that no other child was treated as I was; they had parents who loved them and showed them affection and I received none from a father I looked up to constantly. Something was definitely wrong in my life; maybe that was why I was so messed up now. "Fuck. Fugaku. I don't know what to say." Minato's words were completely serious but I couldn't help but chuckle at them; living in a family such as mine was no easy feat and it could be a damaging existence if you did not know how to distance yourself emotionally from all the pain. I sighed when my chuckles finally died down; maybe talking to Minato would help heal that huge wound in my heart. But of that I could never be certain. "Thank you." I said softly. Relaxing into Minato's comforting embrace; no longer able to deny the blossoming relationship between us. What it was I could not explain but I wanted it to last for an eternity. "For what Fu-chan?" "Everything; the Ramen. Did you know it was my first time ever eating Ramen? I didn't think I'd like it but you proved me wrong." Minato's chuckle was pleasant; his breath brushing against my ear softly. "Hmm; it was my pleasure. I did after all declare you as my boyfriend. Don't I get a kiss?" I scowled. "Not in a million years Namikaze. I'm not that cheap of a date." I said as I stood up; leaving behind a confused Namikaze and headed for the campus. Only I was not surprised when Minato caught up to me and grabbed my hand. I was surprised however when he pulled me into an embrace; tilting my head up and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. My eyes hooded behind dark eyelashes; the place where Minato's lips touched mine was tingling with electricity as a blush dusted my cheeks. All I knew was that I wanted more of that touch. "I never said you were a cheap date Fugaku and remember that I said we'll take it at your pace; if you don't like something then tell me and we can stop." I nodded dazedly; trying to make sense of what Minato had just implied. Minato pulled his scarf closer around my neck as the wind picked up and in the distance the clap of thunder could be heard. I hated storms and the loud noise made me jump slightly and straight into Minato's arms; colliding with his chest harshly. "So will you accept me?" Minato's question was slightly confusing to me but also made me think. After the short time we had known each other I could not help but agree; although I was slightly nervous about the whole situation. What would happen if my father knew? "Ok." I said uncertainly; University was a place for new experiences right? I wanted to try something new. But first I had to warn Minato. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to live up to your expectations though; I don't know if I'll be good enough to please you. I am after all damaged goods..." I clapped a hand over my mouth in embarrassment; had I really said that out loud? What happened to the years of Uchiha conditioning? It flew out the window the moment I met Minato as I discover new sides to myself that leave me reeling every second. "I see; well to me no one is perfect and it’s those imperfections that make me love them all the more. To me there is nothing more beautiful. We'll work on your insecurities because I can sense there is a lot that bothers you. Now how about I take you to get a drink before the storm breaks?" "But..." "No buts; tonight you are going to forget all about your worries. Be who you dare and who you always should have been." ---------------------------- The alcohol was hot in my veins; making my cheeks flush and my mind feel heady. My swimming vision was invaded by beautiful blue eyes and a blinding smile. Warmth spread through my body; I cannot believe Minato had made me do it but I had changed my degree and we were now celebrating that I would be starting a new life. I still had no idea how I was going to tell my father this but I felt happy in that single moment. Grateful that I met this person; was I ever worthy of being given such a gift? "What're you thinking about Fu?" A giggle burst from my lips before silence fell on my ears again; was it normal to feel so many different emotions whilst drunk? I couldn't help but turn away sadly; feeling suddenly fatigued. This could so not be normal; and the way my eyes kept returning to Minato's soft looking lips made the intoxicated blush spread to the tips of my ears. "Tired." I said softly; fingers curling in Minato's shirt as I pulled him forward. No flinching once when our lips collided softly; I wanted to taste him. I want to be able to share an intimate kiss with my friend and self proclaimed boyfriend; his proclamation not mine. Yet as feelings rushed though my body, my eyes closed unconsciously when Minato brushed his tongue against my bottom lip. The intimacy contact made my stomach twist suddenly. It was the first time I ever felt contact of that manner and it was suddenly overwhelming, I didn't know what to feel anymore. I pulled back with fright; putting as much distance between me and Minato as I could whilst swaying on a barstool before folding my arms and laying my head on my arms. That simple touch had felt so good; like lava was spreading through my veins - slowed by the alcohol in my system that made it just that much more pleasurable. Why had I pulled away again? "I think you've had a bit too much to drink. Let's get you home." Minato's voice sounded so gentle in my ear; why wasn't he angry with me? I could feel guilt and shame whisper across my skin. I groaned helplessly as I was tugged to my feet; the feeling washing through me not one I wished to experience again. I felt suddenly sick to my stomach. ~ "Father and you are going to be angry at me." I slurred as I stumbled being Minato; his hand curled around my upper arm to keep me steady. Everywhere he touched; it was burning... "I'm not angry at you; I realize that this might be a bit overwhelming for you so let's get you to bed. Remember tomorrow is a new start." I could do nothing but give a noncommittal 'Hn.' and delight in Minato's chuckle; stumbling slightly as a dizzy spell hit me square on the forehead. Luckily Minato caught me before I could sprawl on the grass. I could hardly remember anything of the trek back to campus; only Minato's soft chatter and coos as I got sick. If I left this horrible now; I was never drinking again and that was a promise I made to myself. Screw parties and celebrations! No. More. Drinking! When I felt soft sheets press against my back I finally felt a bit better; my body was no longer rejecting the alcohol and I could feel immense tiredness settling over body. I hoped that I hadn't done something stupid in my drunken haze. I threw my arm over my eyes as a pounding headache exploded behind my eyes. Damn weak body, damn alcohol and damn my own stupidity. When the bed dipped slightly under Minato's weight I shivered; his scent was heady in my nose and warmth poured through my mind when his fingers skimmed up my neck, caressed my face before finally settling in my hair. Carding through the locks and untangling the few tangles they found. I felt a sense of calm wash over me; curling in on myself to find more of that comforting touch. "Sleep Fugaku; tomorrow is going to be a long day." I nodded sleepily; something about the sadness in Minato's expression made my heart twist in knots. Why did he sound so sad? I was supposed to be the one that sounded like that; his personality was so bright that sadness like that had no place there. It didn't belong on beautiful features. My eyes focused on his features as I lifted my hand; resting it against Minato's cheek softly. It was an effort but his cheeks were warm and his breath tickled across my thumb; I didn't know what to say. "Sleep, Fugaku" I nodded tiredly; forgetting what it was I was supposed to say before my body's exhaustion finally possessed me; eyes slipping shut as I fell into my dreams. Haunted by nightmares and frightening images of blood and hate. It made me wonder if my father would like to bathe in my blood one day... ------------------------- Thanks for reading! I really appreciate all those who do. Please leave me a rating and a review if you enjoyed the story. Ja Na SSP
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