Frozen | By : vivpiv19 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Gaara/Naruto Views: 1894 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this fanfiction and no money are made on the story. Simple as that. |
Title: Frozen
Authoress: vivpiv
You only see what your eyes want to see.
How can life be what you want it to be?
People often see what they want to see. They don't accept life how it truly is but how they want it to be. People often misjudge others because of their beliefs.
That's Uzumaki Naruto's case. For years the people in Konohagakure no Sato have denied his very existence. For them he was a demon, a monster and nothing more. He didn't have the right to breathe, to feel, to live, to exist.
Years had passed before he was acknowledged, before someone saw him. But that time was enough for Naruto to create a mask, a perfect disguise. And even now, when he has people that care for him, that love him, he won't let his mask down.
But still, people only see what's on the surface. They see that he is kind, helpful and hearty, yet loud, brash and energetic. Only a handful of them had had the chance to see a small fraction of the pain he has hidden away. Hidden so well that it almost wasn't there.
But it was there. The pain he has felt from every insult, every glare, every rejection and betrayal. It has broken his heart; it still breaks his heart. Though, his mask hides it from the world, I know the truth.
Because I suffered the same. Until I met him.
I saw the pain in his eyes, deep beneath the warmth, the walls built to protect him, under the perfect mask. I guess the saying that 'A person's eyes are the windows to their soul.' is true. Because, his eyes, those lucid sky blue pools reflected his pain, his suffering, his struggle against Fate, but also his hope, his desire to live and protect those precious to him.
It was years ago that he changed me. He made me see the world through different eyes, from a different point of view. He showed me that pain; anger and sadness weren't the only feelings that exist.
That blond melted my heart. His light cut through the darkness that has been encasing it for so long. That man, who people believe to be an idiot, a moron broke the ice surrounding my heart and freed me.
He changed me. He taught me how to love how to be happy how to be truly strong. But the love from my siblings, from the friends that I made wasn't enough. I wanted his love. I still want it. And I will have it.
If I lose you, my heart would be broken
He saved me once. Then he saved me again when the Akatsuki came to obtain the power of my demon. I had died to protect my people, but he refused to let me go. And saved me again. It was then that I realized something.
His heart was frozen.
When I woke up after the battle and looked in his eyes, I saw it, his heart. I didn't need to have the special eyes of a Hyuuga to see it. Because the only thing I had to do was to look. To look deep enough into his eyes.
I have to admit that revelation shocked me at first. It just wasn't possible, this shouldn't be true for that warm hearted person. He is the light for so many people; he is their comfort, their support.
You're frozen when your heart's not open
But it was true. When everyone thought that Naruto's heart was open for all, it wasn't. It was frozen from all the pain he felt. From the lack of comfort, from the absence of love.
Even now when I look in his eyes, I see that his heart is still cold. Yet so many years have passed.
He kept his promise and brought the Uchiha back. He defeated Orochimaru and the Akatsuki. Everything should have been alright. And for the people of Konoha it was, but not for Naruto.
No matter how hard he tried, no matter what he did, he couldn't obtain his dream. He couldn't become the Rokudaime Hokage. The council, those stubborn, shallow-minded fools wouldn't let him. Even when he had the support of the current Hokage, Tsunade-hime, the support of the Gama Sennin Jiraiya and some of the most powerful clans in the village, they always found a reason to deny him.
They think that they can play with him forever, use him as they want. Well, we will see about that. I won't let this game continue any more. And this is the purpose of my visit here in Konoha.
I had requested that Naruto is the one to escort me to the Godaime and thankfully she has granted my request.
I look at him from the corner of my eye. God, he has changed so much since the last time I saw him.
Where is that bright aura that has always surrounded him? Where is the hope in his eyes?
This village is killing him. The people that he loves are destroying him. I wonder if anyone has seen the changes. The tiredness in his posture, the dulling of his lucid cerulean eyes. Has anyone bothered to see?
We reached the Hokage Tower faster than I anticipated. Shizune, the Godaime's assistant, ushered us in right away. Naruto bowed to Tsunade-hime and then left us alone.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Kazekage-sama? What is the reason behind it?" she asks politely as she offered me a cup of tea. She's aware that I don't drink sake.
"Uzumaki Naruto." Usually I'm not a man of many words, but it looks like I have to explain my reasoning instead of just stating it if I have to judge from the surprise and confusion in her amber eyes. With a sigh I prepare for a long conversation.
"I would like to propose an exchange between our villages."
"Exchange?" She asks as she eyes me suspiciously.
"Yes. We will exchange shinobi. They will be our village's spokesman, ambassadors if you will. They will defend the village's interests and make sure that the treaty won't be breached." I explain the purpose. But it seems like she knows that this isn't the true reason for this proposition, but a cover for it.
"Tell me the true reason behind this." She saw right through my half lie. It doesn't matter.
"I want Naruto to come with me to Suna." I state bluntly. There's no need to beat around the bush.
"Why?"
"Why?" I ask back and laugh lowly. "Because this village is killing him. Haven't you noticed the changes in him? Haven't you looked in his eyes?"
From the surprise and realization she's showing, I understand that she has seen glimpses of what I saw. But she's still hesitant to accept it.
"Naruto is happy here. This is his home." She's trying to deny the truth. I won't let that happen, she will understand, she has to, for Naruto's sake.
"No, he isn't happy. On the surface he may seem happy, but deep down he is hurting. His heart…" I hesitate for a moment, should I tell her?
"His heart is frozen from all the pain he's feeling. And that is killing him. He needs to leave so he would be able to heal." I say quietly.
"And you can help him?" She asks with narrowed eyes. I meet her gaze determined.
"Yes." She stares into my eyes for a long moment, then looks away and heaves a tired, resigned sigh.
"I didn't want to accept it but I knew that something was wrong with my Gaki. I haven't seen any changes like you said but I felt it." She paused briefly and smiled softly. "Call it a motherly instinct if you want but I felt that something just wasn't right."
So it looks like someone really cares about the blond. That's good.
"Would you like some more tea?" She offers and I nod in agreement. I'm glad that she understood my reasoning even if she was hesitant in the beginning. But I expected that.
"Who are you going to send as an ambassador from Suna?" She asks after taking a sip from her sake.
"My older sister, Temari."
"Your sister? Why?"
"Because she fits the role. She's intelligent and observant. It's true that she may be a little tomboyish but that is to be expected from the life she had." I pause for a moment and let a small smile to slip on my lips. "Besides, I think she has feelings for the heir of the Nara clan."
The Godaime blinks at me."The Nara clan? You mean Nara Shikamaru?" I nod to answer her question.
"Ohh, this is too good to be true. I've been waiting for an opportunity like this to appear." A rather evil smile graces her lips as she rubs her hands together. I think I just made the Nara's life worse then it was before…
Tsunade straightens up after a moment and a serious expression settles on her face.
"I agree with your idea for an exchange, Kazekage-sama. It would be beneficial for our villages and should strengthen the treaty."
I nod in agreement and place my cup down. She takes a deep breath before yelling out for her assistant to come to the office. The door is opened by the small raven-haired woman. She bows before straightening up.
"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"
"Shizune! I want you to find Naruto and tell him to come to my office right away. We have something to discuss with him." The Hokage gives out her orders and Shizune disappears a moment later to do as told. The Godaime turns her attention back to me and I find myself under her burning gaze.
"Is your sister here with you?" is the question she asks and I nod in response. "Did she know that she was most likely going to stay here?"
"Yes, she did. I had informed her of my plans." How could she not know? After all it was Temari that thought up of this whole idea in the first place. But I'd rather keep this to myself.
Tsunade leans back in her seat and looks out the window. She gazes out at the village then turns her attention back at me. Her features are soft and when I look at her now, I can see that she is tired. The little lines around her eyes are barely visible, but they are there.
"You will take care of him right?" She asks suddenly. "You will help him heal?" I can't stop the small smile that appears on my face.
"Of course I will. I would do anything for him."…Because I love him. We fall in a comfortable silence until there's a knock on the door.
"Come in." Tsunade says and a moment later the door is opened by Naruto.
"You called for me, baa-chan?" He gives me a smile before turning his attention back to the Hokage.
"Yes, Naruto. I have a new mission for you." His eyes seem to brighten at the word mission. Did she notice that? I glance at her and see that she indeed had noticed.
"Together with Kazekage-sama here we discussed some ideas and came to the conclusion that it would be best for our villages if we had constant representatives from both sides. That way the spokesman from the respective village can defend its interests and make sure that the treaty wouldn't be breached." She pauses for a moment to let Naruto assimilate the information.
"And why are you telling me this?" The blond asks as he crosses his arms over his chest.
Tsunade glares at him for a second for not letting her finish.
"I am telling you this, because you were chosen to be Konoha's ambassador." He looks surprised, but then his eyes narrow slightly.
"The council agreed to this?"
"No, the council doesn't know about our decision with Kazekage-sama." She puts up her hand to stop any protest from the blond. "And I will take care of those old goats when I decide to inform them. Don't worry about it."
Blue eyes turn to gaze out the window.
"With all due respect Hokage-sama, but I would like to have some time to think about this mission." He turns his gaze back at her. "After all, I do have the right to refuse to accept it if I want." His voice is serious yet there's a faint cold edge to it.
Tsunade looks like she's about to argue with him but then catches herself and calms down. "Of course, you have until tomorrow. Dismissed." Naruto bows once more before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.
I'm mildly surprised that he didn't accept right away. Why is he hesitating? Or maybe I'm wrong? Is he truly happy here? The sigh from Tsunade catches my attention as she stands up.
"All his life, others has made decisions for him. That's why I won't pressure him in choosing. This time I won't take his right to decide what he wants." This partly answered my question but it didn't really ease the doubt in me. But I understand her reasoning because she's right.
I stand up from my own position and Tsunade turns her attention to me.
"Excuse me Hokage-sama, but I would like to go get some rest."
"Of course, it's been a long journey from Suna. You must be tired. I will have Shizune escort you to the hotel where you will be staying." She follows me out of the office and tells her assistant to accompany me to the hotel.
The walk to the hotel is uneventful. The villagers are bowing to me and I nod back to them. Just as we are about to enter the foyer my sister shows up to join me.
"So, how did the meeting with the Hokage go?" She asks with curiosity.
"Good, we came to agreement and you'll be staying here as Suna's ambassador." I reply as we enter together. Shizune walks up to the reception's desk and asks for our rooms. Another assistant comes to show us the rooms and Shizune leaves us in the hotel's hands.
"If you need anything Kazekage-sama please inform us." The girl that took us to our rooms bows down and then disappears.
With a sigh I sit down on the bed while Temari takes in everything in the room. She goes to the balcony and walks out.
"Well this is a nice view." I hear her say. Curious I get up to join her. And indeed the view is nice. On one side could be seen a training area with a bridge leading to the field with a small river and on the other side could be seen the Hokage monument.
I lean against the rail and look up to the sky, a small frown marring my features.
"What's wrong Gaara?" My sister asks with worry in her voice.
"Nothing." is my reply. She huffs and crosses her arms.
"It doesn't look like nothing to me. So, what's up?"
"He didn't accept the mission." She knows whom I am talking about.
"He didn't? Why?"
"Actually he said that he has to think about it. I'm not sure if he will accept or refuse." I turn to look at her and ask quietly. "What if I'm wrong? What if he really is happy here?"
Temari comes towards me and hugs me lightly.
"Don't be like that Gaara. He probably just needs time to decide what's best for him. And I'm sure that he'll accept. Who in their right mind would stay in a place where the people only use them and don't show any gratitude? I sure as hell wouldn't." She gave me a smile and left me alone in the balcony.
I hope that she is right and he will accept to come to Suna. But I know that I shouldn't get my hopes up too much. If he refuses I might do something really stupid.
Another sigh leaves me at my thoughts and I decide that I should take a shower to freshen up and clear my mind. The hot water felt heavenly and relaxing after the long journey from Suna and the meeting with Tsunade-hime.
When I decided that I've spent enough time in the shower I turn the water off and wrap a tower around my waist, taking a smaller one for my hair. I leave the luxurious bathroom and go to get dressed.
Looking around I notice that my sister has left her fan next to the door leading outside the balcony with a small note attached to it.
'I left to catch some shadows. See you later, Temari.'
Shadow hunting, huh? Sometimes I pity the Nara. After all, my sister can be pretty persistent sometimes.
When I'm dressed I step outside the balcony once more. The sky is slightly pink with orange and pale yellow hues decorating it. The dusk is coming slowly and soon the night will take over.
It's so peaceful and the sight is amazing. Sudden movement catches my attention and I turn my gaze towards the training area Temari spotted earlier.
A dark blur was darting from one side to another, going through rapid movements. When I look closer I spot the golden hair and recognize Naruto right away. I watch him as he trains in taijutsu. His movements are quick, deadly and precise yet there's no pattern to them. After a few minutes the attacks lose their intensity and become clumsy, somehow defeated…
Is he thinking about the mission? Probably, but why would he feel so defeated? I don't understand.
He stops in the middle of the clearing and tilts his head to the sky, a gentle breeze blows around him. It looks like he's listening to something, like the wind is whispering to him. Suddenly he turns in my direction and our eyes meet. Only for a split second before blue eyes turn away from me.
There's no other person in this world with eyes like his. His eyes reveal everything yet hide it all. What was that emotion that just flashed through their depths? Desperation, helplessness, hope? What was it?
I know that I shouldn't press him to accept, but I can't just stay here and do nothing. I need to see him, to talk to him, to touch him…
Without further thought I go inside to take my gourd and leave the hotel room. I appear a minute later on the bridge with the training field. Looking around for Naruto I don't find him. His chakra signature is nowhere to be found but I can feel his presence. He's still here somewhere.
I cross the bridge and start walking in a random direction. After a while I find myself in a clearing with three wooden posts to my right side and the Memorial Stone in the middle.
I know that he's here somewhere. His presence is luring me on, but I can't find him.
"Naruto?" I call out and wait for an answer.
"Kazekage-sama." I hear his voice and let out the breath I've unconsciously held. A scowl settles in my face as I turn in the direction of the blond's voice. I can't spot him anywhere on the ground so I look up towards the trees. And sure enough, here he is.
The deep azure eyes follow my every step as I come closer to the tree where their owner is sitting on a thick branch.
"You know that I hate it when you call me that." I say glaring up at amused blue depths.
"But it is true. You are the Kazekage and I have to show my respect to you." His low voice rolls towards me like a gentle breeze. Yet my scowl deepens.
"No, I'm not. Not when I'm with you and you know that." I reply and he laughs in amusement. He thinks it's funny, but I don't. We have this conversation every time we meet. I'm getting fed up with it.
Mmmmmm, you hold the key
He jumps down from the tree and comes closer to me. My heart beats faster the closer he comes. Can he hear it? Does he realize how much his mere presence is affecting me?
"Well, then Gaara, what are you doing here in Konoha?" He asks me in a quiet voice as his eyes search mine. What are they looking for?
"I came here for you." I reply truthfully because there's no point in lying to him. Surprise flashes in his eyes before they narrow slightly.
"Really now, why?"
"Because I can't stand to see you suffering. You're far too precious." He looks away from me and states in a dead voice.
"I'm not suffering, Gaara. I'm fine." Anger boils inside of me at hearing him speak like this. Why is he doing this to himself? Why? I tilt his face back towards me and look deep in his eyes.
"Why, Naruto? Why are you causing yourself this pain? I know that you're not happy. I know that you're not alright."
He steps back startled but I come to him.
"I know, because I can see it in your eyes. I see that you're losing hope that your heart is…"
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me…
"Stop it! Stop it, Gaara! I don't want to hear it!" Desperation is filling his voice, but I won't give up. Like you didn't give up, Naruto. He turns his back towards me but the only thing I do is to wrap my arms around his trembling form.
I don't say anything else, just hold him close, willing him to accept me. A shuddering sigh leaves him and he turns in my arms. I see the tears shining in the blue depths and it breaks my heart.
He leans in my embrace and places his head on my shoulder, wrapping his own arms around me.
"Why, Gaara? Why are you the only one that can see behind my mask?" He mumbles and I tighten my arms around him.
"Because when I thought all I was, was a monster, you saw behind my mask and made me feel human for the first time in my life, and because I love you." I whisper in his ear. Blue eyes look up and search mine once more. Suddenly his eyes flutter close and I feel his lips on mine. It's a soft kiss, nothing more then gentle pressure of lips. But it means so much more.
A moment later Naruto breaks the kiss and mumbles against my lips.
"I love you too." Warmth fills my heart and I can't but kiss him again. This time I deepen it as I push him gently towards the ground. Naruto lies down and pulls me to him. But after a moment our positions are reversed and he's on top of me.
He hides his face in the crook of my neck and whispers softly.
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart…
"Hold me, just hold me and never let go." I wrap my arms around him protectively wishing to hide him from the world.
"Never, I won't ever let you go, saiai." I say as I press a kiss to his temple.
I won't lose you now that I've got you. I will protect you like you protected me. I will save you like you saved me. I will melt you heart like you did mine.
I will love you like you love me.
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Owari.
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A/N: I want to thank solitare1 for helping me out with this one-shot and proof-reading it. Thanks a lot!
A/N: Well, this is the one-shot that I've been working on for the past two weeks. I hope that you liked it. I'm pleased with the way it turned out. Please review and tell me your opinion. It's important for me since this is my second attempt at writing from a character's POV. Oh and saiai means beloved. Take care and review!
PS: This was inspired my Madonna's song 'Frozen', hence the lyrics that are here and there and the title.
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