Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

The Inner's Desire	By : JJindiana Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Naruto/Sakura Views: 8148 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I do not make any money from writing this

Chapter List
- 1-The Inner's Desire
- 1
Two months ago, the imposing gates of Konohagakure stood tall and proud, guarded by chuunin and considerably more welcoming than any other hidden village. Two months ago, Konoha accepted missions both in and out of Fire Country, its ninja in high demand beyond the borders of its respective country. Two months ago, the village was alive in every sense of the word.
Two months ago, misguided ninja single-handedly decimated Konoha.
After much interference run by one Uzumaki Naruto (involving the ass-kicking of said misguided ninja and the resurrection of the innocent lives lost in the battle), the proud village was able to begin its slow recuperation.
These days, any newcomer or visitor crossing into Konoha’s territory would be hailed by the turbulent blare of construction. Businesses were put on hold as stores and homes were rebuilt from the ground up. Only the most dangerous of missions were being accepted for the purpose of keeping an income while still sparing enough ninja to help with the repairs. Genin were spared the Mission of Tora.
The summer months passed particularly slowly as most everyone spent his or her time out under the unforgiving sun. Only the older academy girls—flushed with hormones--reaped the benefits of this by spending their lunch break sitting on the wall of the school courtyard, giggling at all the shirtless, cut shinobi toiling away before them.
One such spectacle was the very man who turned the tides of Konoha’s fate.
Sakura found herself pushing a wheelbarrow full of bricks forward and frowned at gaggle of blathering preteens. She had once been one of them: head in the clouds, illusions of grandeur, consciously groomed, and a blush for every good-looking guy who caught her eye. No thought to the future, no consideration that her lack of propriety in her chosen profession could one day lead to the ruin of other lives.
One of the girls ‘oohed’ and pointed forwards. Sakura’s frown deepened as she followed the outstretched arm to her teammate. He was just as shirtless and sweaty as the two chuunin helping him steady a support beam, but something about him stood out compared to the others that let Sakura know he instigated the fresh bout of titters. It may have been the way his skin accepted the sun so much more readily than his companions; darkening evenly after only two hours of exposure while still giving off a healthy shine. Or perhaps the contrast of his golden hair to his tan caught their fancy, or his clear-blue eyes, or the way his smile brought laugh-lines around his mouth, making him look more mature—not like the round-faced boy she tried to remember him as...
He certainly had become easy on the eyes.
In no way were the girls subtle about their frivolous ogling—damn it, they were pointing for heaven's sake!—but Naruto appeared oblivious. His characteristic cluelessness was both annoying and endearing.
Sakura turned her head towards the ground, slowing the wheelbarrow to a stop.
Since their final confrontation with Sasuke, things between her and Naruto had been... strained. Looking back on it now, there were a million things she could have done differently, could have handled better, but at the time she had been scared and impulsive. Her head had been so wrapped around keeping Naruto alive that she did not think of any lasting emotional damage she might cause by confessing her love for him as she had.
Her plan fell apart at the seams when Naruto did not react accordingly to her admission. He was supposed to be happy, to agree and return to the safety of Konoha. Instead, he called her out on her lamentably weak confession and refused to back down when she got defensive. To make matters worse, she was unable to follow through on her back-up plan of taking out Sasuke herself; once again Naruto had come to her rescue, being forced to clean up a mess she helped make.
Kakashi later informed her that Naruto even underwent a mental breakdown and collapsed just beforehand, making his rescue of her all the more harder to accept.
Her guilt flared for the millionth time since that day, and a familiar, sickly heaviness settled in her stomach. He suffered so much because of her...and silently as well. Sakura was certain Naruto had plenty he wanted to say to her, much of which she deserved, but he had yet to say anything. He had been nothing but pleasant, if not a little distant, towards her.
She felt as though she initiated a crack in their friendship, one that widened with each passing day.
Sai admitted to her that it was he who revealed her simple-minded plan (his words) to Naruto not long after her confession. He told her this with a hint of vindication, as though punishing her for knocking him out with sleeping powder. She could not imagine how it must have looked to Naruto—her knowing about Sasuke’s fate and instead using her knowledge of Naruto’s love for her to keep him ignorant. At least, that was how Sai made Naruto’s perception of everything sound.
Naruto must be furious with her...so why had he not said anything?
Lost in her thoughts, Sakura never noticed one of the support beams from two stories up slipping out from its place before the man hammering it down could finish his job.
“Woah, watch out!”
She only had the brief feeling that something was amiss before something heavy hit her from the side, the momentum throwing her several feet to her left.
She felt the ground-shaking crash. Dust and tumult swept through the air. Noises of scrambling, shouts and apologies flooded overhead and it quickly became clear that she had nearly been brained by some construction accident due to her inattentiveness to her surroundings.
She also knew she was being held against the body of her savior, instantly mindful of her position as she practically lay on top of him with her face pressed against a bare torso.
Sakura could feel hot, sweaty, skin rub against her cheek as a chest heaved with each expansion of its exhilarated lungs. Musk invaded her nose and for the first time she realized she had fallen on the body of a man. The face was out of the picture for the moment; it was just a slick, breathing torso that radiated heat against her already flushed cheeks—a defined body that would certainly be in her dreams tonight. She gingerly lifted her head to see glistening skin taught over muscled ribs and a dark, flat nipple.
A voice--gravelly and deeper than she recalled--broke the spell.
“Oi, Sakura! Are you alright?”
He is mad!' Sakura thought, dully. 'He didn’t call me Sakura-chan...’
Then reality struck. Her heart skipped a beat. Her face drained of color.
Oh god. She was not just indulging in ludicrously impure thoughts about Naruto! She was not!
The usual barriers that protected her from embarrassing herself with her own libido were immediately secured back into place.
“Naruto, you idiot!” she shrieked, shoving off him. Separating herself from him only gave her access to the entire view of his body, sprawled on the ground, half lifted on his elbows. Tousled hair, hollowed collarbone, nipples, stomach muscles contracting and expanding, happy trail, briny moisture collecting and rolling down that sun-kissed skin—
She forced her eyes to keep to his face, but she felt like the damage was already done. His sweat was on her clothes and his scent refused to leave her. She became lightheaded. Naruto was her teammate. She'd known him since he was an annoying, oafish, obnoxious little kid and she needed to stop looking at him like he was a poster-boy in one of Ino’s special magazines!
Past experiences taught her the ease of passing off an acutely red face as anger.
“Damn it,” she cursed, wracking her brain for something to yell about, “...you got me all sweaty! Now I’m going to smell as bad as you!”
Naruto’s eyes widened in brief bewilderment before his expression dropped.
“Geez... sorry, I was just trying to keep you alive...” he muttered, pushing himself to his feet and brushing off the seat of his pants. He paused to look at her, his face unreadable, before turning to help with the clean up.
Pained at her inability to do anything but hurt him, yet too shaken and ashamed to retract her outburst, Sakura did nothing as Naruto walked away. She could hear the academy girls muttering to each other—no doubt how horrible a person Sakura must be to yell at someone like Naruto. They weren’t too far from the truth.
Not two seconds after she came to this conclusion did one of the more brazen girls shout, “You can save me any day, Naruto-kun!”
Another wave of giggling ensued before Iruka could be heard calling them back to class.
Sakura didn’t look to see Naruto’s reaction; she felt like she couldn’t look at him at all without her mutinous eyes trailing all over his body.
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Deep within the recesses of the mortified girl’s psyche, a presence sparked from hibernation. Something stirred. Several years of dormancy shaken off like grainy sand and in swept an onslaught of suppressed emotions and images of what just occurred. Excitement rallied--
“Gold!” Inner Sakura screamed.
Longing, lust, fantasy... it was all there... waiting to be acted upon.
She could feel an annoying pressure keeping her from experiencing much else. Damn, her girl was really adamant about not liking this guy—and for all the wrong reasons.
Really? She didn’t deserve him? What kind of rationale was that? If anything, Sakura was only punishing Naruto as much as herself.
“This is ridiculous,” Inner Sakura griped. “I can’t live like this. Being shy is one thing, but this is something she refuses to address altogether...”
Mischievousness had always been a deep part of Inner Sakura—daring and outspoken in a way her outer refused to be. As Sakura became more confident in herself and her abilities she express her internal feelings more openly, unwittingly relieving her Inner of the burden.
As Sakura grew stronger in body, so did her mind...so did her personal desires.
The two minds had nearly joined as one. Nearly... until Sakura began to hold back other feelings in light of her body maturing. Now, her body seemed to work against her; hormones drove impulses, and impulses triggered hormones. They festered and mounted within her, but were pushed aside time and time again. Pushed aside into a manifestation... a new source of power that Inner Sakura grasped onto, feeding off its strength.
Now, with the appropriate catalyst to set things in motion, Inner Sakura awoke to a new means of expressing herself.
She had the bite to back up the bark.
“She wants this boy. She's had him in her grasp this whole time,” Inner Sakura muttered contemptuously, “He would have done anything for her. Anything! All those missed opportunities… Why would she never take advantage of that?! I mean... look at him! Blond hair, blue eyes...so rare! Powerful, beautiful body...passionate...the stamina! And he wants her—us—me!”
Inner Sakura’s eyes rolled. Her imagination showed her all the things she could be doing. A jolt shook her as her thoughts triggered a reaction from her new power—an energy based off of pure desire and instinct. She knew this suppression could not continue; it wasn’t healthy.
It was harmful.
She had to take action. She had to force Sakura to accept and act on the other part of her being. If that happened they could eventually be joined. When that happened, one mind could then experience everything at once---be of the same opinion. She could show the world who she truly was.
Sakura would be grateful in the end.
“No more of this bull shit,” Inner griped, seeing through Sakura’s eyes the retreating, broad back of her target. “I’ve been quiet for far too long---it’s time for me to take what’s mine.
"What's ours."
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Unmindful to the plotting of her alter ego, Sakura continued through her day of repairs, healing minor injuries, and all around avoiding Naruto. The scenario of that morning’s incident rolled through her head so many times—each with her saying or doing something much more appropriate—that by the time she settled for bed she couldn’t accurately remember what really happened.
She never expected her sleep to last far longer than anticipated.
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Naruto had very good conditioned responses. After years of training, his subconscious could be considered a sentient being all on its own: able to realize situations before he became consciously aware of them. As many jounin-level ninja, when he slept his body would awaken at the slightest hint of mal-intent...a beneficial state to be in when sleeping on missions. Unfortunately, he was a naturally deep sleeper and his subconscious knew it; anyone he inherently recognized as "safe" could, in theory, sneak up on him. So long as his always-active instincts knew he wouldn't die, he could continue to slumber.
Therefore, it was the weight of something pressing down on his pelvis that startled him from sleep that night.
His eyes flew open the second he realized someone was on top of him and adjusted to the scant lighting with rapidly dilating pupils.
“Suh—Sakura...?”
Though shrouded in shadows, he knew the figure straddling him belonged to his teammate. The slender build—the pale hair—the unique chop of its cut...
Of course, after the way she reacted to touching him earlier that day, he thought he would never find himself in this position with her. Ever.
“Quiet,” the girl hummed provocatively, rocking her body forward and bringing her face close to his. Her hands went up to his hair, running her fingers through the disheveled tresses. Her eyes were dark, glinting strangely in the dim moonlight.
This felt more like a dream.
“What are you doing?” he mumbled, feeling his face heat up at the proximity of her lips. He desperately tried not to focus on the soft thighs squeezing his sides or uncomfortable fluttering upsetting his stomach. An odd fragrance, familiar in some ways but new in others, seemed to waft around her.
“Something’s bothering me,” she said, in the same low voice. There was an undertone of self-assurance he had never heard from her before—she was practically purring. “I need you to do me a favor. Can you do this for me?”
“What favor?” he grunted.
His suspicions were raised; she could hear it in his voice. The heat between Sakura’s legs begged for her attention but she thrust down the compulsion to take what she wanted by force. She didn’t want to waste time fighting him. She needed him to be willing.
For this time, at least.
“Please Naruto,” she pressed, putting on her most desperate face. “Only you can do this for me, it’s urgent. I need you—!”
Despite his misgivings about the situation, Naruto could feel the telltale tingle of a nosebleed coming on. This could very well be a dream—the dialogue certainly seemed familiar.
“Sakura...you know I’ll help you whenever you need me...” he said slowly, unsurely.
She looked hopeful. “So you promise?”
“What is—”
“Promise me.”
“Okay, yes, I promise.”
He couldn’t say no to her. He never could. Oftentimes he hated himself for it.
The pleading look Sakura sported promptly morphed into a predatory grin. It happened so quickly—too quickly. Dread flooded Naruto's stomach as though the Kyuubi itself had become a solidified mass.
“Uh...can you get off me now?” Naruto asked. His voice sounded meek as he tried to pull himself up on his elbows. “And then you can tell me what you need.”
Sakura pushed him back down. He didn’t have much of a choice but to follow the pressure—she was using chakra and her fingers were bruising against his chest.
“I need you to stay here. Right here.”
Now he was really confused, “What? I—”
“Shh, just lay there, okay? Don’t move.”
She began to crawl forward over his body and Naruto immediately reacted in ways he wished he wouldn’t, thankful for the darkness. He knew Sakura didn’t actually want him like that; he was pretty sure she didn’t know exactly what she wanted, but it wasn’t him.
“Keep your head on the pillow,” Sakura commanded, oblivious to Naruto’s reserved thoughts.
Swallowing, Naruto nodded and obeyed, not understanding what he had gotten himself into or why she was acting like this. Her behavior suggested something he believed to be impossible: after everything that had happened between them, he couldn’t imagine a time when she’d be in his apartment let alone on top of him in his bed. He gripped the sides of his mattress as she lifted her torso up and moved her hips to straddle his face.
She wasn’t wearing pants—any pants. No panties. No bandages. Beneath her skirt was nothing but her naked anatomy, as visible as he’d ever seen one. Even in the dark he could see a clear, pre-secreted mucus clinging to the soft folds.
The fragrance he scented before hit his face with sudden pungency and Naruto nearly choked on his own saliva as shock left him paralyzed beneath her.
“S-Sakura!” he gasped, eyes bulging in their sockets, trying, yet failing to look away. “What are you doing?!”
“Shhh,” she shushed again. There was something strangely...lewd about the way she hushed him. He had never seen this side of her. “I need this so badly,” she cooed. “Only you can do it. Please, Naruto, you promised you’d help me...”
“Yeah b-but...”
But Sakura’s vagina was right in his face. It was right there. Right. There.
“Just do this for me,” she insisted. “For both of us.”
Nothing happened for a moment. Naruto continued to stare, transfixed, at Sakura’s completely exposed crotch, his mind blank and unable to accurately label what he felt at that time. He didn’t know if this was a sick joke or a test of his character—but Sakura would never do something as outlandish as this just to test him...
“Naruto...”
Naruto closed his eyes, unsure of what to do. He knew what his body wanted to do; the smell alone of Sakura’s arousal had him tenting his pajama bottoms. His heart told a different story: for one thing, Sakura may not be in her right mind. Perhaps she was simply confused—Sleepwalking or something—and would regret this immediately after. And how would he handle it, then? He swore that he would distance himself from Sakura until he could get a firm reign on his own feelings. Never again could he allow matters of the heart to affect his judgment, nor could he allow anyone else leverage over him that would influence his decisions.
This was definitely not distancing himself from Sakura.
“Please...!”
But this was for Sakura, not for him. When she begged him like that he had a hard time saying no. If this was what she truly wanted...
Resigned to play along, Naruto tentatively stuck his tongue out—halfway believing this was all a dream—and ran it along the slit between her legs. The juices that had already secreted coated the muscle like a clear, bitter jelly, giving him a stronger taste of her than he thought possible.
He would never forget such a flavor
“Ah!” Sakura sighed, sounding like she had been given a great relief. She burrowed her fingers into his hair and shifted to give him better access to her hot spot. Her legs spread wider of their own accord.
Naruto slowly moved his mouth against her, eliciting hums and sighs all the while. His perplexity with the situation grew with each passing moment. There was a time when this would have been a dream come true, but something about this moment made him sick to his stomach. Something...false about it, like her confession not so long ago.
“Yes,” Sakura gasped, ignorant to his uncertainty. “Just like that. Good. Good.”
Her hand began petting his hair as though rewarding him for obeying her. Naruto wasn’t sure that he liked it. He ceased his ministrations, his doubts getting the better of him.
“Sakura,” he said quietly. “I don’t think...this isn’t right...”
As he spoke he pressed his head as far into the pillow as he could, trying to move away from the obnoxious display of Sakura’s nether regions.
His reluctance both annoyed and stimulated Sakura. She liked seeing him at her mercy—a man so powerful that he single-handedly defeated the leader of the Akatsuki; a man she could never compete with in prowess.
...On his back, doing her bidding, pleasuring her at her whim...
The gentle petting of Naruto’s hair came to an end and suddenly the hands fisted so tightly in his mane that she painfully uprooted several strands.
“You promised me,” she hissed through gritted teeth. “You said you’d help me. Are you going back on it?”
Bewildered at the change of attitude, brows furrowed, Naruto said, “N-no, I—”
“Keep. Going.”
She pressed her weight down onto his face more securely, taking from him his ability to communicate with words.
Breathing heavier now, more shocked, confused, and embarrassed than he’d ever been before, Naruto returned to working his mouth on her crotch. He couldn’t understand why he went along with it in the first place when it felt so wrong. He could easily overpower her...but he was reluctant to leave Sakura to her own devices when she was like this. He felt scared, both of and for Sakura. He didn’t know if this was a phase, or if this was something building up for a while and he’d completely missed it. She said she needed this, that she needed him...
It’s not like she was truly physically hurting him. If this was what she needed—
“More,” Sakura demanded from above. “Fuck, Naruto, deeper. Use your tongue.”
Naruto winced as she continued to abuse his hair, trying his damndest to remember all the useless bragging Jiraiya had done. He'd always blocked his sensei out before, his young mind refusing to see the benefit in hearing the details of such raunchy tales. But some of it had to have stuck...
Sakura shifted her hips back and forth, forcing her nether lips to mash against the ones of his face. Unknown to Naruto, her clitoris scraped against his teeth and she bucked harder.
“Yes, that spot!”
Naruto’s jaw hurt from the weight bearing down on it. Sakura’s hips jerked quickly against the bone of his chin—she seemed unmindful to his difficulty in breathing.
Finally, after what seemed far too long for Naruto, Sakura threw her head back, her mouth open.
“Ah—ah—!”
The flavor returned full force as her movements stilted.
Naruto tried not to gag, already having enough trouble getting in air with his mouth engaged and his nose pressed against her pubic bone. Sakura remained planted on his face, appearing to wait for something.
He felt a chill of dread tighten in his chest. Surely, she didn’t want him to do it again...did she?
Then the weight lessened ever so slightly. Sakura had modified her position, lifting herself enough to lean her face by his ear.
“Swallow,” she growled.
Naruto screwed up his eyes, unable to fathom why she was doing this to him...why she would show up in the dead of the night and use him like this.
Her hand went to his jaw, squeezing hard enough to crack the bone.
“Do it,” she repeated.
Once again, Naruto was presented with the option of being defiant, of showing her that she did not own him and could not command him as such. But his reluctance to upset the situation further kept him from being confrontational; her uncharacteristic behavior had him so startled he actually swallowed her essence.
Sakura smiled beatifically, all deadliness evaporated. Without releasing his jaw, she leaned down and touched her lips to his briefly, then rubbed her face down his cheek and buried her nose in his hair—the same hair she abused to keep him from resisting.
“Mmm,” she inhaled deeply, her grip loosening on his face. “I love the way you smell so much,” she cooed by his ear, nuzzling deeper. “Ignore whatever I say when the sun is up—this is what I want.”
If Sakura coercing him into eating her out didn’t have Naruto freaked out enough, that sentence shook him to the core...for it implied that she could, in fact, be a different person in a sense.
She pressed her lips to his neck, tracing his pulse, tasting his skin, and drinking in his scent as much as she could before drawing away. He reacted to none of it, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. Still trying, after all of it, to make sense of what had happened... of what was happening...
“Thanks for the ride,” Sakura whispered, giving him one last one-sided kiss before sliding off him and moving to the window. Clearly, she had finished with him. He followed her movements with his eyes but said nothing. He hardly thought a “you’re welcome” would be the appropriate response for such a situation, especially when he could not mean it.
Without a second glance, Sakura slipped out of his apartment and off into the night, leaving the young man to his own thoughts.
Naruto sat up as soon as she left, his hand instantly going to his mouth to massage the lingering throb. She really did hurt him, though it would probably heal before a proper bruise could form.
“What was that?” he whispered to himself, staring blankly at his lap. His erection had wilted. What Sakura physically did had turned him on—hell, even the pain would have kept him going—but his emotional response to what just happened killed his libido. What she had done to him...
He dropped his face in his hands, not knowing how to deal with feeling disoriented, polluted and so, so disturbed. Her taste still lingered on his tongue, the phantom pressure of her sitting on his mouth persisted, and her smell continued to suffocate him even in her absence, gagging him. He couldn’t escape, couldn’t block it out. He couldn’t forget.
She had not cared about what he wanted: he was convenient, and that was all. She chose him simply because she knew he would do what she asked, no matter the task. Just like when she asked for Sasuke back; just like when she tried to get him to go back to Konoha. He made it so easy for her to take advantage of him...so why wouldn’t she?
Naruto bowed his head further, drawing him a deep, shuddering breath. He always thought it would be tears of happiness he cried when he finally got with Sakura, not tears of frustration.
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Sakura was annoyed. Again.
She woke up feeling great that morning, more relaxed than she had felt in a long time. Her hair kept its bounce, her skin had a healthy glow to it, and she managed to avoid fighting with her mother as she pranced out the door.
Then she arrived at district nineteen, the area her team had been assigned to help rebuild. Naruto was there before her and looking the exact opposite of how she felt. He appeared exhausted and tense, with a paler complexion than usual and dulled eyes. On top of this, he continually sent odd looks her way. Normally, she could deal with him looking at her: he often gave her admiring looks, sly looks, soft looks...every sort of positive ‘look’ one could get.
After the Sasuke fandango, he stopped looking at her so much.
It seemed to have started up again that day, but the expressions he continued to bombard her with were neither furtive nor admiring.
In those glances she saw hurt. She saw confusion. She saw betrayal. She saw a victim.
Wracking her brain for any recent incident that would warrant receiving such expressions, she came up with only yesterday. And this conclusion gave cause for her current annoyance.
Did her heated, awkward words really bother him that much? Even when she was clearly in the wrong, he would bounce back so easily. What made this time so different? What had brought on such sensitivity?
She waited until noon approached—when most workers dropped out to grab some lunch—before approaching him. She wanted to get this over with while they had privacy.
“Look,” she started the second she couldn’t sense any nearby chakras. Depositing the shovel she formerly wielded, Sakura turned to face Naruto with a stern stance. “Just say what you want to say and stop looking at me like that.”
Naruto’s bewildered face gave the impression that he had not seen her sudden aggression coming. Sakura nearly snorted—he should have; he had known her long enough to know that she never let sleeping dogs lie.
“If this is about yesterday, just forget about it,” she added. She hoped the finality in her voice would keep him from arguing whatever his side of the story was. She wasn’t in the mood for guilt trips or chastisement.
“B-but about what happened—”
“Forget it, Naruto,” Sakura said, sounding both contrite and mildly exasperated. She turned away from him to pick up her water bottle. In reality, she simply could not handle that kicked-puppy look any longer. “I’m sorry if I seemed a little...cranky. I was frustrated with a lot of things. I’m sorry I took it out on you, alright?”
It wasn’t much as far as apologies went, but she felt as though he had blown everything completely out of proportion. Everything pertaining to her snappish attitude just a day ago, at least. It’s not like she didn’t have her irrational episodes before. What made this time so different? Was it because she had been so mellow towards him after they dealt with Sasuke?
She peaked a glance at him and—much to Sakura's bewilderment—Naruto’s face became even more pained at the “apology”.
Appearing to realize her indifference towards him, he quickly pulled himself together.
“Yeah, alright,” he said shortly, and headed back to finish working on the side of the dango-shop, forgoing any lunch with a sudden loss of appetite. By turning away, he hoped that no more conversation could pass between them. After hearing her voice, he could only compare it to her tone the night before. He needed to get away, to clear his head. Having her around was like being a recovering alcoholic and having booze shoved in his face several times a day. He needed to firm up and keep her at a distance, at least until he could control his own emotions.
As Naruto kept his attention away from Sakura, he allowed her the opportunity to openly inspect him. Not all of it was innocent.
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Inner Sakura trained her eye on the blond, admiring the way his biceps and shoulder muscles bulged with each whack of the hammer. The feel of his mouth on her returned with phantom sensation...the look on his face as she loomed overhead...helpless, pleasuring her.
She knew he liked it; that deep down he wanted it. Just a few more sessions like that and she could have him ready and willing for her at any time she pleased.
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A shiver passed down Sakura’s body. She involuntarily shifted her weight to ease the sudden heaviness between her legs.
“I need more,” Inner Sakura groaned, zeroing Sakura’s gaze on Naruto’s clothed butt. She quickly wracked her memory for any visual recalls on that part of his anatomy. Nearly a year ago, Sakura’s curiosity had gotten the better of her on their first mission with Sai and Yamato and she peeked on the men’s onsen. She had seen Naruto’s bum then: paler than the skin above and below it, but smooth and unblemished, aside from the dimples on each cheek that represented desirable tone. Oh, how she wanted to see that naked skin again, to see the sleek cheek muscles clenching as he moved between her legs...
Her libido spiked. Her panties dampened.
Last night Inner Sakura had to wait for her host to fall unconscious before she could operate their form, but after the escapade with Naruto she now had more subliminal support from her body. She could pull this off with Sakura still conscious. She could pull it off today.
No, she could pull it off right now.
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Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt soft hands press themselves over his forearm, suspending his hammering. While mostly startled at Sakura being so intimate with him out in the open (where people could see), he was also shocked at his reaction to it. For some, unfathomable reason his skin crawled at the point of contact.
“Naruto,” Sakura said softly, not wanting to scare him away after her host’s unwitting callousness. “Come with me.”
She held onto his arm, tugging him into an abandoned shelter that was once used to house civilians who lost their homes. He followed dumbly, fueled more by curiosity than by want. The shelter had a row of cots, mildewed pillows, and some first aid supplies. It had been uninhabited for days. Sakura dragged him just beside the nearest cot, keeping her grip on his arm.
“What, Sakura? What is this?” he asked before she could say anything, unable to keep the impatience from his voice. He still stung from earlier, from last night—hell, from weeks ago. He knew he should be madder, that he should shove her off and storm out, but he had a feeling there was more going on. Sakura wouldn’t just do this—mess with him, throw herself at him—there had to be a reason.
He had to stick this out, to see it through. He would make sure she was okay, that she was healthy, before distancing himself. He felt like anything less would simply be abandonment. He had already lost one teammate forever... and as much as she hurt him, he couldn’t lose Sakura too.
Sakura bit her lip, the uncertainty in her posture becoming the most familiar quality Naruto had seen since she brought him in. He tried to focus on it, seeking comfort and strength in anything he could.
“Naruto, I need you to do me another favor.”
Favor. That word. He immediately understood where she was going with this. She met his eyes as she spoke and he knew she was different again. Her eyes looked darker—evergreen instead of sea-foam.
Naruto was already shaking his head. “No. Not again. Not after last night.”
“But you made me so happy!” she uttered wretchedly. She was falling into that same desperate look that got him last time.
“Do you know what you did to me?” he hissed, aggression rising. “Do you have any idea how that made me feel?”'
“I’m sorry!" She simpered. "I just wanted to...I just wanted to see if you still liked me like that...”
Naruto clenched his jaw, trying his damndest to stay resolute. He wanted to shout a million things at her, at how wrong she went about things—all things—how she could seem to do nothing right. He didn’t, of course. He couldn’t.
“You know how I feel,” he said lowly. “You know. But you obviously don’t feel the same way, so don’t string me along like this—”
“But I do!” she insisted. She pressed up against him, bringing her face closer to his. Though far brighter than his bedroom last night, the lighting of the shack was dim and Naruto saw the shadows play across her face in a similar fashion to the last time moved so closely to him. He still heard her words: some odd, others terrible.
“...Swallow it..."
"...I love the way you smell..."
"...Ignore whatever I say when the sun is up...”
Sakura now gripped his shirt as if she needed to take precautionary measures just to get him to hear her out.
“I’m not the best with words...I’m not like you," she admitted. "I care about you so much, Naruto. I want you so badly... Do you have any idea what you make me feel when I’m around you? How I feel now? My body hurts, I need you so much...”
As she spoke she began to unzip her vest, revealing a conventional, white bra. Naruto took an involuntary step backwards, his heart hammering—both at her dialogue and her actions. She sounded so sincere; he could detect no lie from her. But just because she wanted him physically didn’t mean...
Sakura popped one breast out of her bra, exposing it to his sight and jarring all thoughts in his mind. It was small and smooth, the nipple large compared to its mound and drawn taught in her excitement. She pinched it a couple times, yanking it lightly.
Stomach suddenly high in his throat, Naruto stared, gob-smacked, taken aback by her brashness and atypical lack of modestly.
What... did she think this was okay because she gave him some half-assed confession a month ago?
“Do you see this?” Sakura asked, looking him in the eye. She continued to abuse her own nipple, rolling it between her fingers. “What you’re doing to me? I want this to be your hand that touches me. Only yours.”
She moved forward until his knees folded backwards at the edge of a crusted cot. His knees buckled; he fell on his butt. Sakura was quick to straddle his hips, much as she did last night except without forcing him to lie down. She kept her body raised on her knees so that her breast remained level with his face.
Naruto tried to lean away, unsure of how to get her off him without touching her. This was too much. Her proximity overwhelmed him. Her smell. The play of her fingers on her own tit...
An embarrassingly large part of him wanted to touch it—to touch her. His attraction was undeniable.
But this wasn’t the girl he loved. He didn’t know who this was.
Sakura made the decision for him by taking one of his hands and placing it on her breast. She drew in a breath when he instinctively squeezed, his palm rough against her areola.
“Feel it,” she moaned, refusing to release his hand until he complied willingly.
“Why are you doing this?” Naruto managed to mutter, feeling helpless. He was going to help her again, because he didn’t know any other way. Dusgust flooded his gut. He felt as though he took advantage of a girl not quite lucid.
“I’m doing this because we both need it,” she replied. “Naruto, this is what people do when they’re physically attracted to each other… At the very least, help me with this... Please. You want to make me happy, don’t you?”
“That’s cheap, Sakura,” Naruto said quietly, looking at the ground and away from her display. Why was he so weak when it came to her? If only he had a little more time...another month or so of actively desensitizing himself to her...then he could deal with it. As of now, he felt obligated to do whatever he could to help her, as long as no one else got hurt. Only he would get hurt, and he deserved it for being so damn emotionally unstable all the time.
“Put your mouth on me,” she commanded, already pressing the tip of her nipple to his mouth.
Falteringly, Naruto parted his lips and allowed her to push the flushed spheroid further into his mouth. He wasn’t quite sure what else to do. What would Sakura do if he ran off to spare himself of this uneasy guilt and self-loathing? Find some other guy to do this? Was she even in her right mind? He couldn’t bring himself to leave her.
He suckled lightly and wondered if this would become a habit. Her convincing him to...do stuff to her, and then pretending nothing happened. And he, always the fool, falling for it every time.
Maybe she was right. Maybe he did deserve to be strung along, his weaknesses condemning him so. Maybe she really did need him to “help” her. Perhaps this was an arrangement that would be inevitable, that he would learn to accept.
“Bite me,” she hissed next.
Automatically, he gently bit down on the nipple, applying as little pressure as possible for fear of actually hurting her.
“That’s it, suck it right there—right around my—oh! You do learn quick.”
Her hands were running through his hair again. She pulled on his head, cradling it to her chest, cooing wantonly as she continued to press her chest into his mouth.
“Use your teeth again—yes...Good boy,” she breathed. “That’s a good boy.”
Those words...
As though breaking from a spell, Naruto jerked his head back, a defiant glare below his brow.
“What?” Sakura asked shortly, irritated at the loss of his hot tongue. When he didn’t say anything, she grabbed his head, intent on bringing his mouth back to her breast. Naruto pulled away again, not having any of it.
“No. No more.” He had to be firm with her; this was not what he wanted. And that meant it was not okay. He wouldn’t let her convince him otherwise. He would go to Tsunade about this: he would see if Sakura was suffering from something, something that affected her behaviorally or mentally. He would get her help the right way before this got out of hand.
He expected Sakura to make some argument against his resistance.
He hadn't expected to be tackled to the ground.
Naruto hardly put up a fight, still trying to make sense of everything. He stared upwards, blinking at the flared nostrils, the clenched fist.
“Don’t start with me,” Sakura hissed. “You still have to do the other one—!”
She tried to thrust her chest into his face. She had a wild look about her with her wide eyes and mussed hair.
“I’m not doing anything,” Naruto bit back, turning away from the naked breast dangling in his face. “Not while you treat me like I’m your stupid pet.”
“You are mine, Naruto!” said Sakura. “Why are you being like this? This is what you’ve always wanted, wasn’t it?”
If possible, Naruto appeared more upset than before.
“Not like this!”
Sakura growled, wanting what she wanted now. Her fist reared back, alight with chakra, and then planted itself into his chest, breaking his ribs inward.
Naruto immediately felt the inner tips of the bones prick his lungs.
“UGH!” he gurgled. He had not foreseen physical abuse of this nature. More emotionally wounded than physically, his anguished eyes sought her own. They were suddenly unfamiliar to him, nearly black. “Guh," he spit, "Suh-Sakura... why?”
Blood leaked into his lungs; drowning would happen slowly at the trickling rate, but if the Kyuubi’s chakra didn’t kick in soon it would happen.
He coughed painfully, flecks of blood flying outward, some of which staining Sakura’s joggled boob. She seemed unconcerned by his injury, staring down on him coldly. The pain he felt in his chest wasn’t just from broken ribs and pierced lungs. He could feel his heart breaking. She had never deliberately hurt him like this before, not using chakra like she had.
“This is your own fault,” she hissed, moving her hands down to his pants and ripping at the button.
“No!” Naruto gasped. He could not believe how far she was taking this. She was possessed...she had to be.
“Stop struggling!” shouted Sakura. She responded to his writhing by gripping the clothed flesh between his legs as punishment. Not hard enough to damage—she wanted it, after all—but enough to cause him further pain.
Crying out, but not ending his struggles, Naruto fruitlessly tried to twist away.
“Sakura, what are you playing at?” he cried. “Seriously, I don’t like this—this has to stop!”
Sakura sneered at his words. “I don’t care what you like or don’t like. Fuck me.”
And suddenly a kunai pressed at her throat.
Such words could not be spoken by his teammate. Fighting against his new contusion, Naruto managed to sit up and brandish a weapon simultaneously.
“You are not Sakura,” he said coldly. He bluffed—he knew it was Sakura. She certainly had Sakura’s strength, smelled like her, and had her same aura, the same chakra. It was definitely Sakura’s body but something was extremely wrong. Her mind was different.
Sakura was in there—his Sakura—he could reach her. He just needed to—
Sakura’s fist swung around and impacted against his arm, once again utilizing her impeccably controlled chakra. The kunai he held clattered to the ground.
“Augh—!” Naruto gurgled, biting his lip to cut off the scream; moving his lungs caused his inverted ribs to pierce them further. The humorus of his right arm shattered, the appendage now lying uselessly at his side. He couldn’t even twitch his fingers.
An opened-palmed hand slammed against the right side of his cheek in a follow-up, turning his face to the side and knocking him back to the ground.
“Be quiet,” Sakura said forbiddingly. She did not appreciate his defiance.
Satisfied that he had been properly cowed, she returned to his pants, ripping them halfway down his thighs with a few firm tugs.
“Dzz, stuh-stop.” Naruto’s other arm came up to weakly bat at her endeavors.
Sakura responded by treating this arm in the same manner as his right. In seconds he had two broken arms.
This time he cried out, pain blooming from all sides of his body.
“Guh!" He choked. "Stop, stop, Sakura...why...why are you…?”
She ignored his pleas, silently relishing in her domination; she knew he would never fight her seriously until it was too late—the good thing about her prudish host was that she would always be underestimated when it came to pursuing men.
The heat in her body amplified, driving her need to make him wholly submit to her. She had to have him now, her craving became too much.
Sakura tugged his boxers over the weight of his hips, finally laying eyes on the equipment that had plagued her dreams on more than one occasion, and a victorious smile extended across her face. Eyes closed, indulging in all sensuality, Sakura concentrated on running both her hands around his twitching length, covering every inch of skin available to her with her fingers and palms.
She loved the feel of the warm weight in her palm, the pulse of life it gave off, and she began a vigorous rub without care of chafing the skin. She needed to feel him inside her—she wanted this heated, veined cylinder of his flesh to be marked as hers. Certainly before someone like Hinata or, heaven forbid, Ino got their claws in him. She wasn’t stupid; she saw the way tramps in this village looked at him, just waiting to take advantage of his innocence. The sooner she had him, the better.
Despite his pain, despite his difficulty breathing, despite his desperation and anguish--at seventeen years old Naruto’s hormones managed to have him stiffen under Sakura’s ministrations. The girl’s grin was scarily genuine as he came to full length.
“Ah, see? This won’t be so bad, will it?”
One of her hands came down to cup his testicles, gently rolling the excess skin between her fingers and pinching gingerly much in the same way she treated her own nipple earlier.
“So soft,” she crooned teasingly, getting more excited by the minute. “I could just touch them all day long...”
Naruto screwed his eyes shut. Humiliation choked him. He turned away, unable to believe this was happening—
“You’ll learn to love this, Naruto. I promise you.”
“Enough,” he coughed. More blood dribbled out and he felt dizzy. “Enough. Please—”
He tried to roll away, but Sakura jumped forward to straddle his chest. She wanted to end this rebellious phase of his as soon as possible.
Naruto couldn’t scream even if he wanted to as Sakura planted her weight down on his broken ribs. He felt like giving up, like shutting everything out and waiting until she was done with him. Even after all this, he still feared hurting her.
“You’re ruining my good mood, Naruto.” He looked into her eyes and, once again, couldn’t help but notice the unfamiliar shade of green. Had he more clarity at the moment, he would have tried to find some significance in that. “You know what? I don’t need your mouth as much as I thought I would. Not if you won’t put it to good use...”
She cracked her knuckles, a cruel smile making its way onto her face.
“By the time this heals you should be good and ready to behave. Now, now—don’t give me that face. Your legs will be next if I have to. You should have done what I asked, Naruto, I don’t like having to hurt you like this.” She paused to mock-pout. “Shame. I would have loved to see you crawling at my feet later today.”
Naruto felt panic rising fast. At this rate she was going to kill him.
“P-please Sakura, you know how much I care about you but I don’t think you want this! Please come back or—or wake up—”
Her arm reared back, knuckles creaking in her gloves.
Unbidden tears came to his eyes. Not for himself, but for Sakura, if she ever returned. She would have never done this to him. He knew his teammate; she would feel horrible for a very long time. He knew she already felt guilty about her part in their strained friendship—adding more would surely crush her...
“Please,” he whispered. “Sakura-chan...”
He hadn’t called her that since before the whole episode in the land of Iron. It was only something he’d call his Sakura.
Her fist stopped inches from his face as a new light came to Sakura’s eyes: they were a familiar pastel green once more.
Somehow...instinctively...he knew—he knew his teammate had returned to him. Relief flooded Naruto, briefly overriding his pain enough for him to relax ever so slightly.
Sakura sat atop her teammate, blinking rapidly.
“N-Naruto? What—?”
She took in his appearance, pale and bleeding. Arms awkward, eyes wary and wounded, but hopeful.
And then her position: straddling him with one breast hanging from her vest.
Shrieking, she flew from his body, trying to tuck herself back in and straighten her clothes into something presentable—though he probably already got a good eyeful.
She turned back to yell at him, fully intent on figuring what the hell just went on, when she saw his bottom half exposed.
Blushing several shades of heat, yet unable to turn her eyes away just yet—for she had never before gotten to appreciate an erection outside of a textbook—Sakura screamed: “What the hell is going on you sick bastard!?”
“S-Sakura?” If anything, the damn fool’s voice sounded happy.
She backpedaled several more feet, determined to keep her eyes averted from his genitals. How did she not realize what had happened until just now? Was she drugged? Was this that pervert’s fantasy or something?
“Sakura,” Naruto’s voice called out, weak and pleading like she’d never heard before, “Please—”
And suddenly, as though he had spoken an incantation, an onslaught of memories blindsided her.
She saw herself entering Naruto’s apartment and...and he was on his back, asking her to stop...but she wouldn’t...an irrepressible need to have him touch her...and then she...she made him...even when he begged her not to...
No!
Sakura gripped the sides of her head, fisting pink handfuls, telling herself it was a nightmare. She would never have the gall to force herself on someone like that. Especially someone like Naruto...
But she had. Then she ran off, leaving him sad and disconcerted—exactly how she would never want to see him again.
And just now when she...
...she...
She glanced at him again. The blood, the broken arms—what she said, what she did—grabbing him, forcing him to—he was nearly crying...so scared—for her—so confused...
“No...n-no I didn’t...I couldn’t have...” she mumbled incoherently, her eyes flickering between the floor and Naruto. Every time she caught a glimpse of him, she could only see his injuries. Looking at Naruto, so helpless and hurt and bewildered, shattered her heart. How could she have hurt him like this? What had taken over her to...to...
Naruto watched an array of emotions dance across Sakura’s features. She was going into shock, no doubt realizing what was happening, or what had happened. He drew some comfort in knowing that whoever did this to him was not his teammate. That she was just as much a victim.
“Sakura...” he winced as he tried to sit up, “Are you ok?”
His ribs refused to cooperate with him, his broken arms unsupportive, and he fell back to the ground, crying out as all his injuries reminded him of their existence. Gritting his teeth, he called upon the Kyuubi’s chakra, trying to heal at least one arm so he could right himself into a more decent sight.
His cry of pain only served to drive the dagger deeper into Sakura’s heart. After everything she’d done to him—to his heart—now she had physically and psychologically crossed the line.
The blood drained from her face and she felt her breakfast rising up through her esophagus fast. She ran to the door, turning outside just in time to empty the contents of her stomach at the foot of the hut.
Naruto tried to make as little noise as possible as his right arm burned with advanced healing—he saw how badly Sakura reacted to hearing him in pain. He managed to drag his “better” hand to his boxers as the sounds of his teammate’s dry heaving carried from outside. By the time he was sure she finished, he had managed to hide his wilted erection within his underwear—something that, thankfully, didn’t require all that much mobility in his arm.
Sakura didn’t return inside, but he didn’t hear her leave either. Within the next minute, he had stood, biting his lip to the point of it bleeding, enduring the protests of his ribs and arms. His somewhat mobile arm was then put to work in securing his pants into place, which took another whole minute of his time.
Naruto kept his mind blissfully shut down, focusing all his effort into movement. Despite being held at someone’s mercy just a few moments ago, despite sporting several injuries that limited his movements, he felt more in control than he had in a long time. Now he just had to help Sakura confront what she did.
He shuffled out of the house, making enough noise not to startle his teammate.
Just as he feared, Sakura looked a mess. She had fallen back against a sidewall of the shelter only a small distance from her mess, legs trembling and eyes whitened in abject horror.
Though she kept her gaze straightforward, she acknowledged his presence.
“Naruto, I—w-what have I done...”
With a face of sincere sympathy, Naruto slowly approached her.
“Sakura, shh. It’s ok. As long as you’re you again, it’s ok.”
Sakura dodged the comforting hand head reached out and stumbled sideways away from the shelter.
“It’s not ok!” she shrieked, “It’s not! How can you say that when I—when I nearly—!”
Raped him. That’s what she was going to do.
“You weren’t you,” he said weakly. He coughed, his lungs revolting against so much use when they needed medical treatment. Blood dribbled down the side of his mouth, his exhausted arm unwilling to wipe it away.
Sakura’s face, if possible, paled further.
“Oh...oh, you’re so hurt! What have I—oh—!” She continued to backpedal, her head shaking from side to side. Naruto wanted to reach for her again; he didn’t want her to leave. Not while she was in her state and not while he was in his.
“Naruto?”
Only then did the pair notice a third join their party. Chouji, by chance, had gamboled to their point of conflict. ny other day the hefty man would have given the two a cheerful greeting and offered for them to join him for some barbeque. He had not expected to see Sakura in hysterics and Naruto clearly injured and coughing blood.
Sakura appeared stricken at his presence, glancing between Chouji and Naruto with a growing look of fear. Before Chouji could ask what happened, she bolted.
As Sakura fled to her house she could hear Naruto’s answer to the inevitable inquiry:
“Eh, heh, construction accident. Think you could help me to the hospital...?”
########
########
“Oh God, mom! How can I ever face him again? Why did this happen?” Sakura wailed, throwing her face in her arms with her latest, freshest, bout of sobs.
Sakura, in a rare show of openness with her mother, spilled an edited account of what memories tormented her from over the last twenty hours. Edited or not, the general idea was clear: that she physically and sexually assaulted her teammate without even knowing. Not until it had been too late.
Her mother, to her credit, did not react in anger or supreme shock.
In fact, the woman looked at her daughter with pity.
“You ignored your Inner, didn’t you?”
Sakura peered up, her guilt waving a way for a moment to express perplexity, “My...? Oh...her.”
She knew of the presence within her. She thought she had worked it out, that she had accepted a more confident part of her that allowed her to become the woman she was today. Her mother educated her as a child on this unique entity that existed in all females of their descent. It was nothing that helped with combat of course, but still unique. Useful, in some cases. Saving, even, when it came to mind control. But there were consequences with discord.
Work with yourself, her mother would say, work with your Inner and you’ll always have harmony within.
Merged or not, an Inner was still a part of her. So why would a part of her want to hurt Naruto like that?
No, not hurt. Upon reflextion, she hadn't wanted to harm Naruto.
She wanted to own him.
“I don’t remember ignoring anything," Sakura blubbered. "I went out and got what I wanted when it came to being a ninja. I thought I was the person I was meant to be. So how could this happen? Are you saying it's possible for our Inners to possess us?”
It sounded ludicrous—being possessed by herself. It sounded horrifying.
“We’re a passionate family hunny,” her mother replied, brushing back some hair from her daughter’s clammy forehead. “That’s why I didn’t want you to join the ninja corps in the first place. Ninja are trained to be tools, and I knew that suppressing your emotions would cause a backlash...though I never suspected to this extent. I had no idea you even liked the boy.”
“I didn’t!” Sakura immediately responded, before deflating after a moment of reflection. Her Inner would have never targeted Naruto like that if it were true. “I—well––I didn’t want to...”
Liking Naruto... growing to adore him, to need him, to... to even...
It complicated things. It was easier to just... to pretend...
“Then that was your mistake, wasn’t it?”
Of course her mother was right. She was always right. Sakura dropped her head back into her arms.
“How can I fix this?" She croaked. "He acts like everything’s okay, but that’s how he always acts. Even when he’s in so much pain... I—I promised myself I would protect him from everything I could...but I’m always the one that hurts him!”
“Talk to him,” her mother suggested, soothingly. “Tell him the truth, he deserves to hear it. It’s the only thing I can say. This sounds like something that only time can truly heal. And, in the future, pay more attention to what your mind is telling you... not just your heart.”
Sakura nodded. Normally she would jump at the chance to get defensive at anything sounding remotely like an accusation from her mother. But this time, accusation or not, she graciously accepted all of the blame. She knew of her condition, she knew how to manage it, mostly but she didn’t. She hadn't.
And Naruto had paid for it.
########
########
“Naruto?” Sakura called softly as she entered the hospital room. She was too afraid to tell Tsunade the truth behind Naruto’s injuries—the woman was a medical genius and could tell that the injuries would not line up with anything construction related. The boy himself refused to say anything, laughing, saying he had picked a fight with the wrong guy. It made for a poor excuse anyhow; if anyone had the gall to fight Naruto after everything he had done for the village, the likelihood of getting the better of him was even more improbable.
The fact that Naruto flinched at her voice tore at Sakura's conscious so viciously she nearly broke down right there.
She didn’t, of course. What right did she have to cry?
“Hey Sakura-chan,” he said gaily. Chipper as always, but still hesitant. He acted like he wanted to be happy, but still expected her to jump him again.
“Hey, Naruto,” she croaked. She felt oddly choked up. Her throat tightened every time she opened her mouth in his presence like some divine sign saying she had no right to speak to him. That she hadn't the right to take him in her arms and comfort him as she ached to do.
“How are you doing?” he asked, a little more subdued this time. Sakura gave a half-shrug and took another small step forward. She didn’t know how close she was allowed to get to his bed.
“I should be asking you that...and I don’t mean the bones...”
All traces of happiness wiped away from Naruto’s countenance. His shoulders slumped.
“I told you Sakura, it’s fine—”
“No, Naruto, it’s not fine,” she said strongly. She raised a hand to keep him from speaking against her. “There’s something you need to know...and it will sound like an excuse. But you need to hear it.”
Naruto watched her with an even stare, awaiting her defense. Taking a deep breath, Sakura began to tell him of her family’s condition. She told him of the terms of housing an Inner, how she was supposed to work in conjunction with a being that manifested her feelings from within. He learned that the more she held back, the stronger the gap between Inner and host would grow. She assured him of her ignorance to an Inner gaining separate power; how she had no idea she could be possessed. She even admitted to her attraction to him, and how she ignored it, and how it, ultimately, lent a hand in his assault.
And lastly, how irredeemably sorry she was that he had to suffer at her hands as he had.
Sakura half expected Naurot to laugh in her face or yell at her for making up such a bullshit excuse. But this was Naruto, and he merely granted her a wane smile.
“I knew something was wrong..." he murmured, staring at the bumps his knees made under the thin, hospital sheet. "Your eyes looked so different. It was like there was someone else looking at me. I forgive you, Sakura... if that’s what you need to hear. You weren't in control, it was out of your hands...”
That was what Sakura needed to hear. Strangely, she felt no relief from it. Words were not enough for her to move on from this; she needed actual closure.
The pair spent a moment in silence. Sakura staring abashedly at her hands, Naruto looking out the window, eyes dulled. Finally, Sakura cleared her throat, unsure how to word what she wanted to convey.
“Why...why didn’t you...” she wanted to ask ‘why didn’t you fight back’ or ‘why did you let me do this to you?’ but voicing either question would be horrible. She felt like she was looking for any excuse to shuck some of the blame onto him. Like he secretly wanted it, when she knew he didn’t.
To her shame, Naruto picked up on the question anyway.
“I was afraid for you,” he whispered, once again looking at his hands. “I’m sorry. I know I should have done something sooner...I was just so confused—”
“Don’t!” Sakura hissed, the tears building in her eyes. “Don’t apologize. Just stop apologizing! I don’t deserve your apologies! I never have! Just—just hate me!”
“Hate you!” Naruto sounded scandalized at the very idea. “How could you even think—”
“What’s so bad about it, huh? Think about everything I’ve ever done to you! I ignored you, belittled you as a child, I always put you as second to Sasuke!” She took some savage satisfaction at seeing him recoil. Sakura felt her own anger bubbling: anger at Naruto for being so damn naïve, anger at his refusal to act against her.
“I lied to you, used you, and tried to manipulate you! And now! Just now I literally used you! I forced myself on you and then left. I ignored what you wanted, took from you what I wanted—”
“That wasn’t you!” he argued. “You didn’t want—”
“I was going to rape you!” Sakura shouted over him. Naruto grimaced as though she had broken another limb and he momentarily caved in on himself with tangible shame.
“Don’t! You wouldn’t have, I wouldn’t have let you,” he faltered, sounding unsure at the last second.
“Look at you, Naruto!” Tears flowed down her cheeks at this point. “Look at what I did to you!”
He was still bandaged, both arms and chest.
Naruto pressed on despairingly, “No...Sakura...don’t cry. Please. I heal fast, you know I do. This will be nothing—why are you crying? Come on, now...I’m not mad at you—”
“I’m crying for you, you big idiot,” she sniffed, trying and failing to wipe her cheeks dry. “Because that’s what I wish: I wish for you to cry. I wish for you to do something, to let it all out.”
“I’ll think of something,” he said with a feeble attempt at a smile. He still sounded sad, but a touch of amusement laced his words. “I keep telling you, that I’ll recover. I’m a tough guy Sakura...emotional, but tough. I don’t break this easily.”
Sniffling, and sporting a small smile of her own, Sakura nodded. “I don’t mean to doubt you, I know how strong you are Naruto. But I still want to make up for everything I’ve done to you.”
She was looking at him, contemplating something. Her hand rose, slowly reaching towards his face, moving as if to touch his cheek or push away a strand of hair. Naruto sat perfectly still, but his eyes wavered between his lap and the window, like he was trying to anchor onto something that would distract him from being touched by her. Like he was steeling himself to endure any physical contact with her.
Sakura drew her hand back before she made it within six inches of his face. She closed her fist and held it tight to her heart, regret welling deep within her. Anyone who Naruto would flinch away from could not be considered a good person.
She had a lot of work to do.
“Do you think...do you think things will ever go back to normal?” her question warbled, shaken but hopeful.
Naruto didn’t want to cause her anymore suffering than she already felt. He also didn’t want to lie to her. It was lies that initiated this whole debacle in the first place.
So he said nothing at all.
- 1
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The Inner's Desire