Ouroboros | By : rushlight Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1063 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
OUROBOROS
by, Rushlight
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto, Itachi/Sasuke
Rating: Adults Only
Summary: Three years after the events of Season 6, Sasuke has an encounter that challenges his perception of reality.
Warnings: Hmm, let's say a bit of noncon/dubious con, incest, and shota... sort of? There's also a fair amount of violence in this one.
Spoilers: through the middle of Season 6
Acknowledgements: Many, many thanks to Oropimp, Ket Makura, Delfeus, and Rhionae for beta-reading!
Author's Note: This is a weird one, and I'm curious to find out how it comes across. As always, any comments, encouragement, critique, etc. will be greatly appreciated!
Sasuke ducked his head and kept running, ignoring the increasingly frantic cry. It infuriated him that Naruto was so close behind him; he could feel the echo of their last encounter in this moment, three years ago when they'd fought each other in the Valley of the End. Naruto had been chasing after him then, too. Although they hadn't faced each other again since that day, Naruto hadn't really stopped chasing him -- not once in all these years.
It was just as futile then as it was now.
The trees ahead of him broke at last, and Sasuke skidded to a stop, casting desperately about for some sign of his quarry. The bright lance of sunlight that speared into the clearing made him squint, cursing inwardly.
"Itachi," he breathed, the word little more than a hiss that caught in the back of his throat. His hands clenched at his sides. "Where are you?"
There was a low splash of footsteps pounding through the pooled water on the mountainside behind him. Desperation gripped hold of him, because no, Naruto couldn't be that close. There was no way he could fight both Itachi and Naruto at the same time...
The wind stirred the leaves of the trees into a shifting mosaic of light-dark, light-dark, drawing his attention upward. The scents of the forest were rich around him, reminding him disturbingly of the home he hadn't known since he was a child.
Without warning, the bushes parted in front of him, and a black-sleeved arm shot out of the shadows to close around his throat. Sasuke's hands shot up to pry the frighteningly strong fingers away, but there was no time to react. Mouth twisting in a snarl, he stared into two piercing, crimson-patterned eyes and screamed as the world fell away from him.
* * * *
The world stopped.
Sasuke stood alone in the darkness, feeling numb. His breathing echoed eerily; he didn't feel cold, or hot. Around him, the darkness was alive with a low, susurrous thunder that he recognized after a moment as his heartbeat.
Where am I?
It was like the world had ceased to exist, or he had...
He opened his eyes with a gasp. A slight breeze rustled the hair that fell over his forehead, carrying with it the scent of wildflowers. He was lying supine on the ground, a cluster of uneven rocks pressing hard into the muscles of his back. Wincing, he pushed himself up onto his hands and blinked at the towering, green-limbed trees that loomed like sentinels around him.
"Are you all right?" Kiba asked, looking worried.
Sasuke frowned. Kiba was leaning over him with an expression of unmistakable concern tightening his brows, with Naruto hovering just behind his shoulder. The sight of them made Sasuke tense reflexively; he didn't doubt his ability to fight them both off if they were determined to make things difficult for him, but he didn't like not knowing how he'd gotten here. Even though the light was dimming with evening, he could see that the trees around him were unfamiliar.
"Sasuke-kun?" The voice was Hinata's. Sasuke stared in confusion as she stepped forward, followed closely by Shino. He hadn't known that anyone other than Naruto was accompanying the jounin who were hunting him.
"That was a close one, Sasuke. Don't worry us like that!" Naruto's voice was exasperated, with a twinge of real fear behind it. He held out a hand, presumably to help Sasuke to his feet.
Sasuke didn't take it. "What..." His throat was dry; he coughed slightly to clear it. "What happened?"
"It was an exploding tag." Kiba's voice was taut. "Knocked you clear out of the tree. We thought you'd..." He trailed off, pressing his lips together tightly.
"That's our Sasuke," Naruto said with a grin. "A simple trap like that isn't enough to take him down."
"We'll have to be more careful from now on." Shino's tone was grave. "There'll probably be more traps the closer we get to the fortress."
Exploding tag? Fortress? Sasuke shook his head. "I don't understand."
"Hey, did you hit your head or something?" Naruto reached out to tousle Sasuke's hair, probing for injuries; Sasuke flinched away. "Sakura, remember? Orochimaru has her trapped in that fortress of his. We've been sent to rescue her. Ring any bells?"
Sasuke gaped at him. None of this was making any sense. It had been three years since he'd abandoned Konoha and his former comrades, and here they were acting like he was still a part of their team. It was almost like he'd never left them at all.
"It's getting late," Hinata said hesitantly, glancing up at the sky. "If we're going to attack the fortress, we'll need at least some daylight left to do it."
"Yes," Shino agreed. "We'd better get moving."
Sasuke had no intention of going anywhere. He pushed Naruto's hand away angrily. "I--"
A sharp, anxious bark from Akamaru interrupted him. Kiba immediately whirled around, kunai blades falling into his hands.
"They're here," he hissed, crouching into a ready battle position.
Shuriken exploded out of the shadows, causing the lot of them to scatter. Sasuke reacted instinctively, leaping out of the way in a smooth tumble and hitting the ground running. Panting, he ducked for cover behind a tree.
"Bastards," Naruto snarled, taking cover beside him. His eyes gleamed with a feral light as he peered cautiously upwards through the thick tangle of greenery above them.
"Who are they?" Sasuke's fists clenched at his sides. He didn't know what to think of any of this.
"Orochimaru's goons, probably." Naruto's lip curled in disgust. "They're no match for us, at any rate. You hit low and I'll hit high, just like we always do. All right?" He didn't wait for an answer. Clasping his hands together in a familiar hand seal, he shouted, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
Sasuke bit down hard on the inside of his cheek as Naruto duplicated into six distinct shadow clones in front of him. The last time he'd seen Naruto use this jutsu, they'd been trying to kill each other...
"Come on, Sasuke!" one of the clones said, and then the six of them leapt up into the trees, disappearing into the shadows.
Sasuke stood there in frozen indecision, not knowing what to do. A low whistling made him react instinctively, ducking and rolling out of the way of the kunai that was flying at his head. It lodged deeply in the trunk of the tree directly behind the spot where he'd been standing, its handle wrapped in an elegantly scripted paper tag. His eyes widened when the tag began to smoke and hiss.
Exploding tag... He leapt out of the way without thinking, scaling the tree behind him while casting about frantically for some sign of the others. He was nothing more than target practice so long as he was on the ground. The explosion when it came made the air tremble around him, filling it with the acrid scent of smoke and charred wood. He didn't look back to see what kind of destruction it had caused.
The branches of the trees were alive with the sounds of battle -- the harsh clang of metal on metal, shouted battle cries, the strident humming of insects. When a darkened figure rose up ahead of him, he reacted without thinking, falling back on years of training to defend himself. And this was something he knew, out of all the confusion that reigned around him. To kick, to punch, to twist and turn and win. In seconds, his attacker fell out of the tree with a choked-off cry, landing with a reverberant thud on the ground two dozen feet below.
He leaped for another tree branch, knowing only that he had to keep moving. He angled toward the sounds toward his right and watched as Hinata took one of the attacking ninjas out with her Jyuuken. Leaving her to deal with the disabled attacker, he kept going, following the flutter of orange he could just barely see through the leaves ahead of him.
There were more attackers here. Naruto's shadow clones were in hard straits, their numbers decreasing by one even as he watched. He couldn't get a good look at the opponents that faced them, but it hardly mattered. Without pausing to think, he ducked underneath a low-hanging branch and swung up into the midst of the melee, taking out another of their attackers with a flying kick as he landed.
"Hey, Sasuke!" Naruto called out, sounding irritatingly cheerful. "Glad you could finally join us!"
Sasuke peeled his lips back from his teeth and dove into the battle, avoiding yet another spread of well-aimed shuriken. Whoever these guys were, they sure weren't playing around. They were no match for him, of course, but even so, the sheer number of them was annoying. It seemed that no matter how many he took down, there were always more rising to take their place.
Shino appeared out of the darkness beside him, looking grim. "There are too many of them," he said shortly. "We're falling back."
He was right, damn it. Sasuke gasped for breath and spun to follow him. Beside him, Naruto jumped from branch to branch in a familiar canine-like posture, reminding Sasuke poignantly of the time when they'd been teammates together. The thought made him shake his head angrily. That phase of his life was over -- and had been for a very long time -- no matter what these losers had deluded themselves into thinking about him. He put on an extra burst of speed, not wanting Naruto to get ahead of him.
After several minutes, the trees cleared, and he jumped to the ground to land silently next to Kiba and Hinata. Shino was already on his stomach at the top of the rise in front of them, scouting out the land ahead. Naruto joined them a moment later.
"There it is." Shino pointed.
Dropping onto his belly, Sasuke crept cautiously forward to look. In the base of a broad depression half-filled with run-off from the nearby river was an intimidating-looking structure with high, dark stone walls. There were sentries patrolling outside the gate, as well as on top of the walls themselves.
"How are we ever going to get in there?" Hinata breathed beside him, sounding horrified.
Kiba showed his teeth in a silent snarl. "There's no way. We'll be killed if we try it."
"Sakura's in there." Naruto's voice was hard-edged. "That means we're going in there after her."
Shino frowned. "If only we had some kind of edge."
"The Scroll of Sealing," Kiba said darkly, glaring in the direction of the gate. "If we had that, I'm sure there would be something in it that could help us."
"But it was stolen long ago," Hinata said. "No one knows where it is..."
A sharp, migraine-like pain stabbed into Sasuke's head, making his eyes water. Startled, he ducked his head and pressed a hand to the bridge of his nose, digging his fingers in as if he could physically rip the pain away. The others continued to converse in low whispers around him, but their voices faded to a low buzz, the words melting together until they were incomprehensible. He clutched at his head with both hands and stumbled backwards, gasping.
"Sasuke!"
He was peripherally aware that the attackers from the forest had found them again, that Kiba and Shino were fighting for their lives, that Hinata was lying on the ground several feet away, her eyes wide and staring, her mouth bloodied. Naruto called his name again, more frantically this time; they were dying, Sasuke knew they were dying, but there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. The pain in his head increased, causing a terrifying darkness to flutter at the corners of his vision.
He collapsed to his knees with a scream, and everything went black.
* * * *
He woke up to the sound of dripping water.
Hard stone pressed against his cheek, the chill of it spreading up into his face and through his entire body. Shivering, he lifted his head off the floor and looked around, biting back a groan.
He appeared to be in some kind of prison cell. From what he could see of it, it was archaic; the walls and floor were made of rough-cut stone, the single door comprised entirely of dark iron bars. The air was musty, heavy with the scents of dampness and decay. A guttering torch hung on the wall of the corridor outside the cell door, casting only minimal light inside.
His wrists and ankles were bound in sturdy iron shackles. The heavy chain they were attached to made a low, scraping rattle whenever he moved, making the hairs along the back of his neck stand up on end. He gave the chain an experimental tug, but it was securely bolted to the floor.
He forced himself to breathe calmly. It hurt to move, so he did his best to sit utterly motionless as he took stock of his situation. He was thirsty and hungry, and his body gave every indication of being badly bruised. There was blood caked along the back of one hand that didn't appear to be his, although the knuckles of both hands were torn and bloodied. He'd been in a fight of some kind, that was for sure.
And lost, from the looks of things.
He realized with a start that he wasn't alone. A young boy sat in the far corner of the cell, knees pulled up to his chest in a defensive posture. Sasuke couldn't make out many details in the dimness that filled that part of the cell, but he could see that the child was maybe six or seven years old, with wide dark eyes and black hair that was in need of a good combing.
"Who are you?" Sasuke asked, keeping his voice low.
The boy leaned forward cautiously. "You're awake." For a moment, Sasuke thought he saw the edge of the Uchiha family crest on the back of his black turtleneck, but that had to be a trick of the light.
Sasuke coughed. "Apparently so." He looked around bleakly. "Where are we?"
"We're Orochimaru's prisoners." The boy's face was too solemn for his age, with eyes that looked like they might never have known laughter. He looked familiar to Sasuke for some reason, although he couldn't place where he might have seen him before. "We've been here for a long time."
Sasuke's mind rebelled at that. He remembered vividly the three years of standing at Orochimaru's side, trading his soul for whatever scraps of training the dark sannin would give him. There was no way Orochimaru would treat him so harshly; Sasuke was his vessel, after all, the body he would someday attempt to overcome and possess as his own.
The thought was a bitter one.
The boy reached into a puddle of water at the base of the wall and then crept to Sasuke's side, holding out his cupped hands in offering. Sasuke glanced at him briefly before bending his head to sip at the miniscule offering. There wasn't more than a few drops of the precious liquid, and what there was had an acrid, metallic taste to it, but it did ease the dryness in his throat slightly.
"Thank you," he said, curling one hand around the chain that held him bound.
The boy gave him a tentative smile. "Are you feeling better now?"
Sasuke wasn't sure how to answer that. He didn't remember getting here any more than he'd remembered arriving in the woods with Kiba and the others, and it frightened him. He felt fuzzy around the edges, disoriented, like he would upon waking from a dream. "I--"
A sound in the corridor outside the cell made him fall silent. He turned to face it, tensing reflexively. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that the boy was shrinking back into the shadows, terror written clearly across his face. His fear alarmed Sasuke. Turning toward the door, he bared his teeth and faced it with trepidation.
The footsteps drew closer, until finally two men appeared outside the cell door, both of them dressed in common shinobi garb. Sasuke didn't recognize either of them. He tried to get a look at their forehead protectors, but couldn't make out which villages they hailed from.
One of them opened the door and stood guard outside of it while the other moved into the cell. Sasuke steeled himself not to flinch away as the man crouched down to unlock his shackles.
"It's time again," the man said, his mouth twisting in amusement. There was a long, thin scar slashed diagonally across one cheek, narrowly missing his eye. His fingers hurt where they gripped Sasuke's wrists, twisting his arm painfully as he slid the manacles off of his hands.
Sasuke seethed silently until the shackles were completely removed, and then he exploded upward in fury, striking out with a series of blows that would have been devastating under other circumstances. But his body was too weak, and it was sluggish to respond to his commands. The scar-faced man struck him solidly, sending him pitching to the ground in a disgraceful tangle of arms and legs.
"Get off me!" Sasuke gasped as strong hands closed around his arms, yanking him to his feet. He continued to struggle, but it had no effect as he was dragged bodily out of the cell and into the hall. Casting about frantically for some means of defending himself, he saw that the boy was nowhere to be seen.
They laughed as they hauled him down the corridor, a dark, cruel sound that infuriated him more than anything else that had happened thus far. How dare they laugh at him? He tried to fight, to twist out of their grip, but again his body was too weakened to have any kind of an impact whatsoever.
"Hard to believe you've still got this amount of fight in you," Scarface said, sounding impressed. He backhanded Sasuke casually across the face, filling his mouth with the taste of blood. The blow was a disabling one; Sasuke wavered on the brink of unconsciousness as his clothing was removed and his hands were shackled securely to a chain hanging suspended from the ceiling.
The pain in his body was getting troublesome; they were not being gentle with him, and the removal of his clothing made him feel frightened and vulnerable. Looking down, he could see that his body was badly injured -- bruised deeply, burned in several places, with a number of open wounds. What the hell had happened to him?
Scarface grabbed the hair at the back of his head and yanked his head back, licking a line of blood from the corner of his mouth where he'd been backhanded. Sasuke shuddered away in revulsion, his heart pounding.
"Have fun," Scarface said, grinning. The two men turned and left, leaving Sasuke alone in the middle of the room.
He hung awkwardly, hands clutching the chain above him with a white-knuckled grip, straining to find some way to free himself. He couldn't remember ever feeling so frightened. The air was cold on his bare skin, aggravating the pain of his wounds.
A door at the far end of the room opened with a low creak. He turned his head to see who was coming, hissing low through his teeth when he recognized the missing-nin walking toward him.
Kabuto pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with one finger, the light from the torches at the edge of the room reflecting in a subdued flash across the lenses. His expression was calmly indifferent as he came to a stop in front of Sasuke.
"Have you changed your mind yet?" he asked.
Panting, Sasuke shook his head. "I don't understand."
The corner of Kabuto's mouth curled upward slightly. "I can almost admire your stubbornness."
He walked slowly over to the side of the room, where Sasuke could see a pair of low wooden tables set up against the wall. His heart began to pound fitfully when he realized what was on them -- instruments of undeniable purpose, designed almost certainly for the exclusive infliction of pain.
His chest seized; he could barely breathe from fear. "I don't know what's going on," he said, hating the desperation that crept into the words. "I don't know what you want."
Kabuto ignored him. He picked up a heavy-looking whip from the table, holding it up so Sasuke could see it. Sasuke tensed, his fear shifting abruptly into rage.
"Last chance," Kabuto said. His tone was mild.
Sasuke braced himself, tightening his grip on the chains that bound him. "Fuck you."
He refused to look away from Kabuto's eyes when the first blow fell. The pain of it was excruciating, ripping through his already abused body and tearing a scream from his throat.
The second was worse.
"Tell me," Kabuto said, an edge of anger creeping into his voice.
Tell him what? Sasuke screamed as another blow fell, igniting a fire of agony through his entire body. His throat felt raw from the force of it, his vision wavering.
"Tell me, you bastard!"
Sasuke's body writhed where it hung, trying futilely to twist away out of Kabuto's reach. "Tell you what?" he sobbed. "I don't understand!"
"The scroll," Kabuto said with a snarl. His normally calm face was nearly unrecognizable with fury. "Tell me where you've hidden it."
The scroll... Instantly, white hot pain sliced into Sasuke's skull, worse than the beating. Kabuto's voice faded until it seemed very far away, echoing from some great distance. Sasuke froze, mouth gaping, his breath rattling in his throat.
With a roar, the pain in his head rose up to consume him and plunged him into blessed unconsciousness.
* * * *
Sasuke woke up in an unfamiliar bed, blinking up at the slowly turning ceiling fan above him. Morning sunlight filtered in through the slats of dark wooden blinds, casting a tiger-stripe pattern of light and shadow across the sheets.
He felt disoriented, but he didn't seem to be in any pain. Cautiously, he lifted a hand and pressed it to his forehead, pushing himself up into a sitting position.
"Hey," a drowsy voice mumbled. Sasuke looked down to see a familiar tow-headed figure lying curled up in the bed beside him.
Naruto? What the hell was he doing here? Sasuke curled his hands into fists, not sure what to make of this newest development. His body was still tense with remembered pain; just seconds ago, it seemed, he had been locked in a dungeon with Kabuto.
"G'morning." Naruto gave him a sleepy smile, cheek resting on his folded arms on top of the pillow. The smooth slope of his shoulders was bare, a rumpled white sheet covering him from the waist down.
"What the hell is going on?" Sasuke's voice was a dry rasp. His fist clenched white-knuckled around the sheet pooled in his lap, a fine tremor working its way up his arm.
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Naruto propped his head on one hand and grinned wryly, looking for all the world as if there was nothing surprising about any of this. His posture was one of casual familiarity, as if waking up in bed beside his former teammate was a regular occurrence. "What's up with you this morning?"
Sasuke didn't know where to begin with that question. He was still struggling to gather his thoughts enough to come up with a reply when Naruto reached out and touched the side of his thigh, stroking lightly with his fingers through the sheet. Angrily, Sasuke slapped the hand away.
"Ow!" Looking at him like he was the one who was insane, Naruto drew back on his knees and cradled his stinging hand to his chest. His expression was wary now. "Seriously, Sasuke, what's wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with me?" It didn't escape Sasuke's notice that he appeared to be naked underneath the sheet. "What the fuck, Naruto? The last time we saw each other, I tried to kill you. I betrayed everyone I ever cared about. And now you expect me to believe that we're... what? Friends?" More than friends, his mind supplied helpfully, but that was just too much for him to deal with right now.
Naruto stared at him blankly. "You must have had one hell of a nightmare."
"It wasn't a nightmare. It was real." Damn it. Shaking, Sasuke clenched his hands on his knees and bowed his head, his hair falling down over his eyes. "I don't understand what's going on," he whispered.
Naruto slid cautiously toward him, looking concerned. "Hey, everything's going to be all right."
Sasuke shook his head. "I don't know what's happening to me." Maybe he had lost his mind. Would he even know if that was the case?
"You're not crazy." Naruto's brief smile was impish. "It's going to be all right." Very carefully, he cupped a hand over Sasuke's shoulder and urged him to lie back down. Sasuke resisted for several moments before giving in.
"I'm so tired," he said, closing his eyes.
"Shh, I know." Naruto smoothed Sasuke's hair away from his eyes with one hand. "It's all right."
Slowly, Sasuke began to relax. Lulled by the stroking of the hand on his forehead, he fell asleep.
* * * *
When he woke up again, it was into darkness.
He glanced around with a feeling of rising panic, not knowing where he was. This was a different room from the one he'd fallen asleep in, and he was in the bed alone. The room around him seemed vaguely familiar, but in the darkness he couldn't see enough to identify it.
A noise at the doorway drew his attention. Turning his head, he saw a tall figure standing there, a cut-out outline backlit by the light in the hall. The sight made a shiver pass through him; it also looked familiar, but the door closed and cut off the light before he could be sure.
He watched the shadowy figure approach the bed, trepidation rising in his throat. Fear made him slither backwards, and there was something wrong about that, about the way his body moved. Glancing down, he realized with alarm that he was a young boy. He held his hand up in front of his face, staring at it.
And now he recognized this place; this was his bedroom at home, where he lived with his family. His mother and father were sleeping right down the hall. The thought frightened him for some reason, although he didn't know why. It felt wrong somehow -- his skin was crawling with how wrong it felt -- but when he tried to think why that was, a sharp pain lanced behind his eyes. He hissed, pressing a hand to his forehead.
The figure knelt gracefully beside the bed, illuminated by the faint moonlight that trickled in through the window. It was Itachi. Sasuke recoiled slightly, his heartbeat quickening, but his brother only pressed a cool hand to his forehead and asked, "Are you well, Sasuke?"
Sasuke gaped at him. "I... I don't know."
Itachi nodded. "The fever," he said calmly. "You're just getting over it."
Sasuke was very confused; he didn't remember having any kind of a fever. Itachi's presence here seemed wrong, too, but when he tried to think about it, the headache came back again, making his eyes water.
Itachi made a sympathetic noise and sat on the edge of the bed, curling an arm around Sasuke's shoulders to encourage him to lean against him. Sasuke did so stiffly, not sure what to make of any of this. His head was still hurting. Itachi was warm and strong, however, and it did feel good to be looked after.
He was just a child, after all.
Itachi murmured softly to him, rocking him gently, and pressed a kiss to the top of his bowed head. Sasuke relaxed still further, feeling almost drugged on the comfort of it.
"That's it, Sasuke," Itachi said, smoothing Sasuke's hair back from his eyes. "Just relax." He laid Sasuke back against the pillows and stretched out beside him, one hand settling onto his waist.
"Nii-san," Sasuke said, but Itachi shushed him gently and kissed the side of his jaw. The feeling of wrongness crawled over Sasuke again, making him shiver.
Itachi took no notice of him. When Sasuke protested again, Itachi calmly took both of his wrists in one hand and pressed them down against the pillow over his head.
"Itachi, no." Sasuke tried to twist away, but his brother was too strong. Itachi continued to kiss him, dragging hot kisses along his jaw, his throat. He used his other hand to touch Sasuke's body, dragging hard with his fingers along the younger Uchiha's side and then down between his legs, fondling him in a way that made Sasuke feel strangely breathless.
Sasuke struggled, his wrists bruising in the grip of the fingers that held them. He didn't like the feeling of powerlessness that was being forced on him, the feeling of helplessness, of being held entirely subject to his brother's whim. But the hand between his legs was touching skin now, and he moaned faintly as that strange feeling increased, making him feel hot and cold all at the same time.
"That's it, little brother," Itachi murmured, his breath a moist flutter over Sasuke's face. "You're such a good boy..."
Sasuke still felt vaguely repulsed by what was happening to him, but the callused stroking of Itachi's hand felt so good, and even though it shamed him he found himself pressing his hips upward to feel more of his brother's touch. He was so close now, his entire body strung taut, singing with it, craving release. It felt so good, and it couldn't be wrong to give in to it, just a little, because he was just a child and he couldn't be held responsible for his actions.
Itachi waited until Sasuke was a breath away from coming before bending down to whisper in his ear. "Tell me where it is, Sasuke. Tell me where to find the scroll..."
Sasuke threw his head back and wailed as agony rose up like a tidal wave inside his head. The world around him shattered with a sound like breaking glass, dark-edged shards of it exploding outward in a kaleidoscope of sight and sound.
* * * *
He woke up gasping in a bed bathed in morning light. It was familiar this time, as was the figure sitting unclothed in the bed beside him.
"What's wrong?" Naruto asked, looking worried.
Sasuke could only shake his head and say, "Itachi... he..." He was his proper age again, and that seemed right, but everything else seemed absolutely wrong.
Anger and worry tightened the skin between Naruto's eyes, pulling the corners of his mouth downward. "It's been a while since you've relived those memories."
Sasuke drew in a shuddering breath, not resisting when Naruto reached out to hold him. He bent his head against Naruto's shoulder and allowed himself to be comforted, a soothing hand rubbing gently down the back of his neck. Slowly, the tension in him began to dissipate.
"Itachi's a bastard," Naruto said, face pressed into Sasuke's hair as he held him. "Don't listen to anything he says." The words were fierce, protective.
The statement seemed incongruous. Sasuke raised his head, intending to ask him about it, when he felt a strange tugging sensation in the back of his mind. Alarmed, he slid his arms around Naruto's waist and held on tightly.
"Don't let go of me, Naruto," he whispered. "Don't let me go..."
But it was too late. There was a sickening lurch, and then the world fell away from him.
* * * *
It was nighttime. He was in the forest outside Konoha, with the sounds of battle thick in the air around him. Fire licked at the line of trees not too far distant, illuminating the thick shadows under their branches with a noxious orange glow. Acrid smoke hung in the air, burning his eyes and catching in his throat when he breathed. Coughing, he fell to the ground and rolled away reflexively as a shuriken sailed through the air to lodge in the ground behind him. His heart was pounding.
There were battle cries coming from all directions, sliced through abruptly by a piercing scream that made his blood run cold. With a howl, Akamaru leaped out of the bushes, only to be bludgeoned by an attacking earth jutsu. The dog's high-pitched yelp cut off abruptly, his shattered body skidding to lie motionless at the base of a tree.
Horrified, Sasuke watched as Kiba exploded out of the undergrowth behind him, a kunai clenched tightly in one sweat-sheened fist. Kiba froze when he saw what remained of his partner, a shine of grief and madness rising up in his eyes. With a wail, he threw himself forward into battle, only to be pierced by at least half a dozen shuriken. He stumbled briefly and continued onward, but then another volley hit him, leaving him to collapse into a blood-soaked tangle on the ground.
"Sasuke!"
Sasuke flinched and whirled around, poised to defend himself, but it was only Sakura. She looked more fierce than he could ever remember seeing her, her eyes shining with battle rage, her thin arms covered in dirt and defensive wounds. The kunai in her hand was bloodied.
"I'm so glad I found you!" She threw her arms around him in an effusive hug, releasing him before he could even think to protest. When he looked at her again, her eyes glimmered with unshed tears.
"What's happening?" he asked her.
"Konoha's been overrun. Most everyone's dead." There was despair in her eyes at that. "A few of us are gathering together to make a final stand. We won't let Orochimaru get what he came for."
Orochimaru again. Sasuke pressed his nails into his palms, trying to make some sense of this. He felt disoriented, out of place and out of time. Once again, it looked like they believed he'd never abandoned the village. Reaching up one hand, he ran his fingers over the forehead protector on his brow. The leaf symbol engraved on it was unbroken.
His alternatives were either to go with her, or remain here alone in the middle of this war zone. Nodding, he rose into a half-crouch and prepared to follow her. They kept low in the shadows, avoiding the heavier sounds of battle. Sasuke's nerves were strung taut, but they made it without incident to a shadowed glen where the other Leaf Ninjas were waiting.
There were surprisingly few of them there. Kakashi and Kurenai, Iruka, Gai, Ino, Choji, Neji, Shino. Choji had tear marks on his face, which was covered almost entirely in soot. He stared blankly into space, not acknowledging Sasuke and Sakura's arrival. Shino's left arm hung limply at his side, his coat sleeve soaked with blood. All of them looked wounded and soul-weary. Horror slithered through Sasuke when he saw them. Were they the only ones left alive?
Kakashi moved among them, offering a word of support here, a consoling touch there. He was obviously the leader of the ragtag group. His headband was lifted, revealing his Sharingan eye. The sight made Sasuke feel uneasy.
"What about Naruto?" Sasuke asked, feeling numb.
Sakura looked near tears. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. He was killed defending the outer wall of the village. Orochimaru conjured those giant snakes of his again, but there were too many of them this time."
The news hit Sasuke like a blow to the gut. Naruto, dead? It seemed impossible. He'd always seemed so alive, so full of life, like a force of nature. The thought of a world without him in it was... empty.
"Our village is being attacked even now," Kakashi said, turning a fierce look on each of them in turn. "The villagers are dying. We have to regroup, find some way of striking back." He took a deep breath. "I say we make a last-ditch effort to head back into the village and take Orochimaru on head to head."
Sasuke stared at him. "You can't be serious. Half of us are genin, and injured. We're no match for Orochimaru even at the best of times."
"I disagree." Gai's voice was gruff, roughened by grief. "So long as one of us can make it through and take Orochimaru by surprise, then it will be worth it."
There was a hard edge in his eyes that Sasuke didn't remember seeing before, a recklessness that bordered on self-destructiveness. Sasuke wondered if Lee were dead, and if the loss of his favorite pupil had unhinged Gai in some way.
No one else objected to Kakashi's proposed plan. Sasuke could see from their expressions that they were all infuriated over the deaths of their comrades, and that they wanted revenge. He felt an echo of wrongness shiver through him -- this was wrong, all of it -- but before he could give voice to his concerns, the others were moving forward. Cursing inwardly, he moved to follow them.
So much death, so much destruction. Screams still rose at broken intervals from the forest around them, full of terror and pain. The air was heavy, weighted with the scents of char and freshly spilled blood. Grimly, Sasuke ducked his head and kept his mind on the mission.
The wall around Konoha had been completely decimated; it was little more than a pile of shattered rubble and settling dust. Ahead, the village streets were lit by a banked orange glow, their only illumination the fires that ate hungrily at the buildings. The buildings themselves were completely destroyed, their flags torn, their windows smashed. There was no sign of life other than the screams that echoed from the streets up ahead.
Sasuke clenched his fists in frustration. This entire situation was hopeless. There was no way they could win, not with so few of them, not when the entire village hadn't been able to stand against this invading force. They just weren't powerful enough.
He stepped up to Kakashi's side and said, "You do realize you're leading them to their deaths."
Kakashi glanced at him, his Sharingan eye reflecting the light from the fires. "Nothing is pre-determined, Sasuke. We still have a chance to win."
"What chance?" Sasuke was exasperated. "The entire village couldn't stop this from happening. What do you expect the ten of us to be able to do?"
"If we had some kind of edge," Kurenai said, moving to stand beside him, "we could win."
"Something powerful," Gai agreed. "At this point, it wouldn't matter if it was forbidden or not." His expression was bitter. "What does it matter now, with the village destroyed?"
Sasuke immediately thought of the Scroll of Sealing, the collection of forbidden jutsu sealed by the First Hokage. Pain lanced behind his eyes, making him hiss, but he held his breath and muscled through it.
Why did that scroll seem so important?
"What about the Scroll of Sealing?" he asked.
Sakura shook her head. "It would really help us right now, but it was stolen from the village a long time ago. No one knows where it is."
And yes, Sasuke remembered now. He was the one who had stolen the scroll! The headache hit again, harder this time, sinking jagged teeth into his skull. Eyes watering, he clenched his teeth and refused to give in to it.
None of this was making any sense. He was the one who'd stolen the scroll, he was sure of it. But why? It had been for some purpose, but he couldn't remember...
"Are you all right, Sasuke?" Neji touched a hand to his back, his eyes narrowing with concern.
The contact was electrifying. "The scroll..." Sasuke said, gasping.
Everyone crowded around him. "Do you know where it is?" Sakura asked, looking excited.
He was about to respond when the wooden beam of the archway over their heads gave a tremendous creak and split in two, its foundations giving way at last to the stresses that had been inflicted on it. The group of them scattered, trying to get out of the way. Sasuke wasn't quite quick enough; the heavier part of the beam knocked him to the ground and settled over his leg, pinning him to the ground. The pain was excruciating; he knew without having to look that the leg was broken.
Coughing on the swirling dust that billowed around him, he felt strong hands close around his arms, steadying him. He glanced up and was startled to see that it was Naruto.
Naruto stared at him with a wild expression, his fingers rigid where they gripped Sasuke's arms. "Don't listen to him," he said fiercely.
Confusion roared in Sasuke's head, making him dizzy. He stared uncomprehending into Naruto's face, teetering on the brink of unconsciousness. "Naruto?" he breathed. "You're supposed to be dead..."
Falling backward, he lost consciousness.
* * * *
This time he was standing on top of a sun-drenched hilltop, facing Orochimaru. A field of white flowers covered the ground around their feet, bowing in the wind. Sasuke curled his fists at his sides, panting.
"Now, Sasuke-kun," Orochimaru said, raising his arms. "Now begins the true test of what you can endure."
Sasuke stared at him, disorientation roiling through him. "You're not Orochimaru," he whispered.
"Oh?" Orochimaru looked amused. "Who am I, then?"
Sasuke shook his head, not knowing how to answer. The headache was back again, pounding rhythmically inside his skull. He refused to acknowledge it.
The look Orochimaru gave him was pitying. "I think you'll find, Sasuke-kun, that pain exists whether you choose to believe in it or not."
Black snakes exploded out of the sleeves of his robe, fat and glistening. Sasuke stumbled backward in horror, his feet tangling under him. Holding his hands out futilely in front of him to fend off the attack, he screamed when the fangs of one of the snakes sank into the side of his face, the other latching deeply into his arm and wrist.
The pain was ripping, rending, all-consuming, but he refused to buckle under it. Gathering all of his hatred, all of his fury, all of his terror and confusion and pain, he surged to his feet and screamed, "NO!" at the top of his lungs.
The cry echoed oddly in the open space of the hilltop, and once again the world shattered around him.
* * * *
He woke up back in bed with Naruto. Naruto was on top of him, laying down a trail of moist, surprisingly sweet kisses along the line of his shoulder and throat. Both of them were naked under the sheets.
Sasuke gasped, his head spinning. As if drawn by the sound, Naruto shifted up to kiss him with considerable passion, his tongue sliding teasingly into Sasuke's mouth. Sasuke responded without thinking, kissing him just as deeply.
"I don't know what's happening to me," Sasuke whispered, pressing his cheek against the side of his teammate's -- former teammate's? -- head.
"Does it matter?" The smile Naruto gave him was filled with quiet affection.
Sasuke was still shaking. "I didn't listen to him."
Naruto's smile deepened. "I know."
Closing his eyes, Sasuke tightened his hand over Naruto's waist and flipped them both over so that he lay on top. "I don't know what I want," he said, but that didn't matter, either. What mattered was the feel of warm skin beneath him, and the sense of comfort and peace that enveloped him, making him feel safe for the first time in far too long.
As long as he didn't think about the how of it, it seemed perfectly natural that he should be here, that the two of them should be here together. Naruto seemed to know instinctively just how he needed to be touched -- gently, soothingly, but without hesitation. Sasuke threaded his fingers into the other boy's hair and bent to kiss him, taking comfort from the easy way Naruto responded to him. There was a familiarity to the way they moved together, like they'd done this a thousand times before, and would do it a thousand times more.
The love they made was slow and soothing, a calming counterpoint to the confusion clamoring inside Sasuke's head. It wasn't the first time he'd had sex, but it was the first time he'd actually wanted it so strongly. For him, sex had always been about physical gratification, a necessary evil of intimacy to be endured in order to achieve the prize of physical release. He'd never had any real feeling for any of his previous partners, and had never particularly mourned the lack of it.
But Naruto... There was rivalry tangled up in their past together, and anger, and disappointment, and fear. There was also friendship, and sacrifice, and laughter, and triumph. Of all the people in this world, this was the one person that Sasuke felt the most range of emotion for -- good or bad, high or low, wanted or not. Whatever else they were to one another, Sasuke couldn't be indifferent to him, couldn't pretend that their past together wasn't snarled inextricably through his present, contributing significantly to who and what he was.
"Sasuke," Naruto whispered, and "More," and "Please." Sasuke closed his eyes and held onto him tightly, moving against him, with him, marveling at the strength of the hard thighs that wrapped around his hips. It was effortless to find a rhythm, impossible not to move to it once they'd found it, rubbing and sliding against one another, their breaths quickening as the friction brought them closer to release.
He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the shoulder underneath his lips, tasting salt and sun and the sweetness of lingering soap. It felt like a dream, but the details were so vivid -- every breath, every movement, every sound. Naruto's fingers slid hard down his back, digging into his spine. Laying claim to him, even as he laid himself out for Sasuke to do with as he pleased.
His release, when it came, took Sasuke's breath away. He pressed his face to Naruto's shoulder and shuddered through it, letting it drain away his confusion and his rage and his misery and his fear. Naruto's arms tightened around him, holding him through all of it.
Afterward, he lay on his back with Naruto curled against him, both of them waiting for their breathing to calm. "I won't be able to stay here, will I?" he said, staring up at the ceiling.
"No." Naruto's breath was warm against his chest. "He won't let you."
Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Who? Who's doing this to me?"
Naruto propped his chin on Sasuke's chest and gave him a melancholy smile. "You know the answer to that."
Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes.
* * * *
A sharp pain in his side made him open them again. Gasping, he curled in on himself defensively and looked up to see that he was in another prison cell. This time, he wasn't surprised. It was cleaner than the last one, and there was more sunlight in it, but those were minor differences.
The sight of the angry figure standing over him, however, he was not prepared for.
Snarling, Kiba kicked him in the side again, making Sasuke choke. "What?" he gasped, holding one hand out beseechingly. "Kiba, no..."
Kiba's eyes flared. "Don't you dare talk to me. Traitor." He kicked Sasuke again, putting all of his strength behind it.
"That's enough, Kiba." The voice was Kakashi's. Lifting his head, Sasuke saw his former sensei standing just inside the open cell door.
Kiba clearly was not happy to be called to heel. Face still twisted in fury, he spat contemptuously on the floor in front of Sasuke's face before turning and stalking stiffly out of the room.
Sasuke settled his head back on the floor with a shaky sigh. "Kakashi..."
"No." Kakashi's voice was hard-edged, making Sasuke lift his head again. "You don't get to speak to me, either."
Kakashi's Sharingan eye was covered, but there was enough of his face still visible for Sasuke to make out the bitter hatred in it. The sight rocked him, casting him even more off balance than he already was. He couldn't remember ever seeing Kakashi look at anyone with that particular expression before.
The knowledge of his former teacher's hatred hurt him more than he'd thought it would. He'd believed he was beyond caring what any of his former teammates thought of him, but seeing disgust and hatred in the face of someone he'd once respected made him feel cold inside.
"It took us three years," Kakashi said to him. "Three years of trying to track you down. Naruto died trying to find you, did you know that? He never gave up on you, not even at the end."
Sasuke closed his eyes, feeling ill. He wished he could block out the words somehow, but they continued on, relentless.
"Does that even matter to you? The two of you were friends once. Rivals, yes, but there was friendship there, too. I wasn't imagining that, was I?" Kakashi's voice turned bleak, as if he were truly asking for understanding. "How could you do it, Sasuke?"
"It's useless trying to talk to him." This voice was Sakura's. The coldness in it made Sasuke want to crawl into a corner and hide. "He's weak," she continued, her words dripping venom. "His betrayal of us proved it. The only one Sasuke Uchiha has ever cared about is himself."
He couldn't help trying to defend himself. "My clan--"
"Is dead." There was no pity in the words. "Nothing you've done has helped them, or hurt them. They're beyond caring about anything you do. Everything you've done... all the people you sacrificed... you didn't do it for them. You did it for yourself."
"All that hatred," Kakashi agreed. "All that desire for vengeance. All that righteous indignation over the injustices done against his clan. And what does he do with it? Turn himself into the thing he hates most. Congratulations, Sasuke." His voice was coldly mocking. "You've become Itachi. Trying to slaughter those who consider you family and turning your back on your friends. Do you feel better now that you finally managed to murder him?"
Sasuke stared, feeling as if the world had dropped out from beneath him. "Itachi is dead?" he whispered.
Sakura bared her teeth at him. "You killed him. It doesn't matter to you how many others you had to kill along the way, does it?"
"No," Sasuke said, horrified. It was true that he'd made the decision to leave Konoha. It was true that he'd left his friends behind, that he'd fought Naruto with the full intention of killing him. That he'd joined forces with Orochimaru and committed himself to serving the man in exchange for knowledge that would help him defeat his brother. But he wasn't a murderer; he'd never been one to carelessly throw away lives.
His fingers curled over the floor, his gut tightening. It wasn't supposed to be this way; with Itachi dead, he was supposed to feel some measure of peace, of fulfillment. Not this terrible emptiness.
He didn't resist when angry hands clamped around his arms and dragged him to his feet. "It's time," Kakashi said, his voice seeming to come from very far away. "It's time for you to pay for your crimes."
They dragged him outside, where a sizeable crowd had gathered. He gaped at them, dismayed that there would be so many of them standing against him. Every face he saw was distorted with fury, with hatred, with bitterness. They closed around him, their angry voices rising.
The first stone that flew caught him alongside the head, opening a shallow furrow over the side of his brow. He ducked his head, drawing in his breath in a pained hiss, and lifted his arms to shield his face as best he could.
Another stone caught him solidly in the shoulder, and another struck a glancing blow on his knee. The crowd was shouting now, their energy rising, the hatred and contempt they felt for him choking the air around him. He couldn't believe that these were his former teammates, his former friends. Heartsick, he curled in on himself and tuned out the venom-filled words they shouted at him.
"I know what you want!" he screamed, grunting under the blow of another stone. "I won't give it to you!"
The mob roared, swelling around him like a monstrous beast. More stones flew out of their ranks at him. He was bleeding from half a dozen places now, his body aching under the repeated blows. He cried out when one of the stones smashed into the back of his hand, shattering the bone.
"Give us the scroll," Kakashi said, looming over him. The expression in his uncovered eye was filled with contempt. "Give us the scroll, and we'll let you live."
Sasuke glared at him, one eye gummed nearly shut with dripping blood. "No."
"Save your worthless hide." Kakashi sneered. "Make that good-for-nothing life of yours good for something."
The words cut deeper than the stones did. Sasuke drew in a shuddering breath, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. He was hurt and bleeding, but he was also furious. Glaring up at Kakashi from under the unkempt tangle of his hair, he snarled, "I won't give it to you."
A fist-sized stone struck the side of his head, making him lightheaded. He collapsed onto his hands and knees and swayed drunkenly, fighting the urge to retch. There was blood in his mouth. It occurred to him suddenly that he was going to die here, but he wouldn't listen to them, he wouldn't...
In his memory, he was running down a mountainside, its pitted surface wet with a sheen of remembered rain. He raced into the woods, chasing after... what? Someone was crying out to him, calling his name. Exhilaration an ashy taste inside his mouth, because finally, finally, what he sought was within his reach. A flash of sunlight on leaves; his prey, cornered...
And suddenly, he understood. Finally, he knew what was going on. The realization sent a thrill of triumph and terror through him.
"I know who you are," he whispered through blood-flecked lips.
An even larger rock sailed toward his head in what would undoubtedly have been a killing blow, but before it could connect, reality shattered around him.
* * * *
He was standing in the darkness on top of a vast Sharingan eye. An indistinct dark shape stood across from him.
"I know who you are," he said again. He felt shaken, stretched thin and almost broken, but his fury was as great as his fear.
"Do you?" The voice spoke out of nowhere, out of everywhere. It was as if the darkness itself were speaking to him.
"Yes." He was growing calmer now. "It's over, Itachi. Your illusions won't work anymore. I'm not going to listen to you, and I won't tell you anything."
The darkened figure did not move, but it seemed threatening regardless. Sasuke watched it warily, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, preparing himself for a fight.
"Let's end this," he said, bracing himself. The words echoed strangely through the darkness, twisting through his brain.
The figure moved.
Sasuke heard the crack, felt reality start to shift and break apart around him, melting into some indistinguishable shape like water poured across a sandcastle, its foundation slipping, sliding... He dug in his heels, fighting against it, because no matter what Itachi said, he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't he wouldn't he wouldn't...
Reality shimmered, and rippled, and broke.
* * * *
There was a low splash of footsteps pounding through the pooled water on the mountainside behind him. Desperation gripped hold of him, because no, Naruto couldn't be that close. There was no way he could fight both Itachi and Naruto at the same time...
The wind stirred the leaves of the trees into a shifting mosaic of light-dark, light-dark, drawing his attention upward. The scents of the forest were rich around him, reminding him disturbingly of the home he hadn't known since he was a child.
The fingers around his throat released him with a violent spasm, surprise widening the crimson-patterned eyes that stared into his. Sasuke recognized them now -- Mangekyo Sharingan. The blood-won kekkei genkai that allowed his brother to cast the genjutsu Tsukuyomi.
"No," Itachi breathed, sounding shaken. "It's not possible that you resisted me."
Heart pounding, Sasuke struggled to regain his bearings. He remembered vividly the last time his brother had used this particular jutsu on him; it allowed him to create an illusory world where days amounted to mere seconds in the waking world, giving him ample opportunity to torture his victims at his whim.
"Sasuke!" Naruto stood at the edge of the clearing, staring at Itachi with wide eyes. He reacted instantly, baring his teeth and dropping into a ready battle crouch, his body flickering with a red-tinged shadow of the Kyuubi's chakra.
There were more voices calling from the mountainside now -- Sasuke recognized Kakashi's voice, and Gai's. The jounin would catch up to them in a matter of moments. Anger flared on Itachi's face, distorting his features. Remaining here to battle all of them could only end in trouble for him. Giving Sasuke a last fury-filled glance, he turned and disappeared into the woods.
Sasuke thought about chasing after him, but the weakness in his limbs convinced him to remain where he was. His hands were shaking. Slowly, he turned to face Naruto.
"Do I need to fight you, too?" Naruto asked, regarding him warily. His eyes still held a glimmer of the demon fox's power.
Sasuke shook his head. While the world around him gave every indication of being the real one, he was hesitant to trust it. He wasn't certain he'd ever be able to fully believe in its stability again.
Naruto relaxed slightly, straightening from his defensive posture. "What happened?" he asked hesitantly. "One second he reached for you, and the next..."
All of that had only happened in a second? Sasuke shuddered. "Mangekyo Sharingan," he said, folding his arms over his chest. The memory made him shiver, remembered pain still pulsing behind his eyes.
"Hey, are you all right?" Naruto was beside him in an instant, offering him an arm of support. Even after everything Sasuke had done these past three years, after all of the betrayal, Naruto was still willing to treat him as a friend. Maybe it was true that he would never stop believing in him.
"I..." Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut and swayed dizzily. He would have fallen if not for the steadying arm he was leaning on. He may have managed to avoid being completely disabled by Tsukuyomi this time around, but it had still taken its toll on him.
"He wanted to learn the location of the Scroll of Sealing." That was Kakashi's voice. Sasuke looked up to see his former sensei walking into the clearing, flanked by Asuma and Gai. The jounin had found him at last. "Did you give it to him?"
"No." Sasuke looked away, glancing toward the trees where his brother had disappeared. He felt empty inside.
He remembered everything now. He'd stolen the Scroll of Sealing from Konoha with the intention of using it against Itachi, and hidden it where it couldn't be found. Itachi must have heard about it somehow, and had been determined to take it away from him. The forbidden jutsu contained in that scroll would doubtlessly be helpful in his quest to control the Kyuubi's power.
But he must have known that Sasuke would never give up the scroll's location to him directly, no matter how severely or how lengthily he was tortured for the information. So he'd used the Mangekyo Sharingan to deceive him, to trick him into revealing the scroll's location.
It had almost worked.
The jounin had been dispatched from the Leaf Village to retrieve the scroll from him. Of course Naruto had accompanied them. Sasuke could see the wariness in their gazes, the uncertainty of knowing he was a former comrade but that they might have to fight him anyway. He considered it briefly; he could still fight his way free of them if he wished it; it was possible he could escape, chase after Itachi, and go on to fight them all another day. But it didn't seem worth it suddenly.
"It's all right," he said wearily. "I'm not going to fight you."
He tried to tell himself that the relief he saw in Naruto's eyes didn't make it worth it.
* * * *
"It sounds like you were able to resist the effects of Tsukuyomi," Kakashi said. "I've never heard of anyone doing that before."
The day had ended several hours ago, and the five of them were grouped around a low-burning campfire, sitting underneath the concealing blanket of the woods. Sasuke still felt disconnected from everything, like the world around him was as fragile as the shimmering surface of a soap bubble, ready to pop at any moment.
He wondered how long he'd feel that way, or if the suspicion that reality wasn't as solid as it appeared to be would ever truly go away.
There were no further strangenesses, however, and he seemed to be firmly planted back in the world he recognized as real. He could think about the scroll now without that terrible pain rising up to stop him -- a pain that he strongly suspected had been his psyche rebelling against the false worlds Itachi had created for him, stopping him from revealing the scroll's location to forces he'd subconsciously recognized as his brother all along.
He shook his head, feeling drained. "Itachi would have won if it hadn't been for Naruto."
Naruto looked surprised. "What? Me?"
Sasuke nodded. "You were the one who told me not to listen to him." Because all of the people he'd met in that other world had been Itachi, every one of them, no matter what faces they were wearing.
Except for Naruto... He thought about the quiet moments they'd spent in bed together, holding and being held, sharing and giving. Never had he felt more at peace. When he closed his eyes, he could still smell the flowers blooming on the sill outside the window.
Which, now that he thought about it, didn't make a bit of sense. "I don't understand why he would have given me that," he said with a frown. "You saved my sanity in there, Naruto."
"Maybe it wasn't him," Naruto said thoughtfully. "Maybe it was really just yourself talking to you, reminding you of who you are."
Sasuke pondered that. It was true that Naruto had always acted as his conscience. Was it so surprising that his inner voice would take the form of his one-time rival, the one person who'd never stopped believing in him, not even in the Valley of the End?
"What are you planning to do now?" Kakashi's voice was wary. It was true that Sasuke was still a criminal, a thief and a traitor who'd endangered them all by removing the Scroll of Sealing from its place of refuge.
Sasuke thought about what could happen if the scroll ever did fall into Itachi's hands. He closed his eyes, imagining a world in which Naruto was little more than a slave held captive for the sake of the power within him, a world in which the Kyuubi's strength was once again unleashed. Maybe there were prices too high to be paid for the sake of vengeance.
"I'll return the scroll to the village," he said, lowering his gaze.
"All right." The excitement in Naruto's voice was both familiar and annoying; did nothing dampen that guy's enthusiasm? "Then there's no reason for us to arrest him, is there?"
Which made perfect sense in Naruto-logic, Sasuke thought bitterly. After all, Naruto had stolen the Scroll of Sealing once, too.
"No," Kakashi agreed, looking to the other jounin for agreement. "So long as he returns the scroll, we won't have to arrest him." Asuma nodded, and Gai gave Sasuke what looked like a shadow of a smile.
Sasuke frowned in surprise, completely stunned by this pronouncement. He'd expected to be held to task for his betrayal of the past three years when the members of the village finally caught up to him. He'd expected their hatred, their contempt, their rage. Their reaction in Itachi's dreamworld, while exaggerated, was the one he privately thought of as his due.
Maybe, like Naruto, they hadn't really given up on him?
"What are you going to do now?" Naruto's voice was hesitant. "Are you going to keep hunting for Itachi? Or maybe..." The hope in his eyes was painful to see. "Maybe you'll think about coming home?"
Home. The word reverberated through Sasuke's head. He hadn't thought he'd needed one. He'd been willing to sacrifice everything -- his life, his friends, his soul if it turned out to be necessary -- in order to avenge his family's deaths. That had been purpose enough for him to keep going, the only reason he had for existing.
Your clan is dead. Nothing you've done has helped them, or hurt them. They're beyond caring about anything you do.
Everything you've done... all these years of sacrifice... you didn't do it for them. You did it for yourself.
"Maybe I'll head back to the village," he said, "for a little while." The words should have felt like defeat.
The smile Naruto gave him was blinding. And yes, maybe the Naruto he'd depended on inside Itachi's dreamworld hadn't been this Naruto, maybe the things they'd shared together hadn't been anything other than mental masturbation, but still, the feelings Sasuke had come to acknowledge he felt for him were very real. Naruto was frustrating, and stubborn, and dim-witted, and naive, but maybe -- just maybe -- it would turn out that there could be something in Sasuke's life worth living for other than revenge.
Tentatively, Sasuke returned the smile.
- The End -
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