Reason I Breathe

Chapter1

The streets of Konoha were dark, as usual. The blonde shivered as he pulled his thin jacket closer to his body. Summer nights were never this cold. The blonde clutched his shoulders as he fell to his knees. He would give anything to make the pain stop….

"Naruto."

The Blonde looked up, eyes hopeful. He met the gaze of a red-haired man. The man’s eyes always left Naruto dizzy if he looked at them for too long. He instead focused on the man’s nose; he cold metal bars resting in his nostrils. Naruto winced, knowing the pain those bars could create.

"Please…," Naruto begged, his voice no louder than a whisper.

A hand reached out to him. Swallowing hard, Naruto took the hand. He was pulled roughly to his feet and slammed into a chest.

"How much this time, Naruto?"

"I… I don’t know."

"Well, we’ll just have to figure something out then, won’t we?"

Naruto nodded. He was lead down the streets. His body shook for fiercely as they walked deeper into the slums of Konoha. The man took the blonde boy to a motel. The knowing smirk on the manager’s mouth caused the bile to collect in Naruto’s throat. He knew what was going to happen. He always knew. And it never ceased to make him sick. The man opened a door moments later and shoved Naruto in roughly. The door was slammed and locked as Naruto once more fell to his knees. The tears were streaming down his face.

"Pein, please. I need it now," he whimpered.

"Advances cost extra," the harsh voice whispered into Naruto’s pale ear.

Naruto shuddered. Fear, disgust, anger; it was all consuming him. He nodded his agreement. He heard clothing drop to the ground. Naruto closed his eyes tightly. He hated watching. Pein grabbed a fistful of the blonde hair and pulled Naruto to his feet. The boy knew better than to keep his eyes closed when Pein could see his face. He forced his eyelids to raise. He saw the object of his desire and torment dangling in his face. He reached up slowly to grab it. When Pein let him have it, the boy’s face lit up. He rushed to the small night stand. Pein chuckled as he followed. He pulled a small black case from his pocket, and offered it to Naruto, but the boy shrugged it off. Carefully folded foil was placed on the table. The fine white powder was placed on it. Naruto lowered his face to the hard surface of the night stand and inhaled through a straw. He shut his eyes tightly. He always hated the impact on his nose. He rubbed gently and waited.

"Better?" Pein mumbled once more into Naruto’s ear.

Naruto stayed still and quiet for a few minutes. The familiar sensation swept over him. His shaking ceased. His body relaxed. He sighed in relief.

"Arigatou," he said with a smile.

"Now, now, Naruto. You know what comes next."

Naruto nodded. He slowly stood and began to strip. If he focused on the feeling, it would all be over quickly.

*****

Naruto waved to his friends. He was all smiles, as usual, as he walked to the front of the high school. Sasuke raised a hand in greeting. Hinata blushed and mumbled a good morning to him. Naruto sat down next to Shino and leaned against the stone step behind him. His group of friends was pretty big. They did not even notice when he stared up into the sky versus talking. The sound around him died as he focused on an oddly shaped cloud. It seemed to crawl across the sky. Naruto’s smile grew as he watched it.

"Ne, Naruto. You look like Nara," Kiba teased him.

Naruto jumped as the loud boy interrupted his staring. He shot Kiba a glare.

"Do not!" he retorted.

The group laughed as Naruto looked past Kiba. A boy was lying on the ground looking up to the sky. He was alone amidst the sea of students. Naruto pouted at being compared to the boy with the ponytail. He stood and grabbed his bag. He shot Kiba another glare and entered the building, leaving his laughing friends on the school steps. He followed the crowd absently as the bells rang. He debated skipping first period, but when he noticed Sasuke behind him, he sighed and headed for the classroom. His addiction would have to wait. Two hours later, Naruto was slamming himself into a bathroom stall. He was sweating and breathing heavily. He locked the door on the stall and fell to the ground to rummage through his bag. Finding the box he kept with him at all times, he pulled the drug from the box and wasted no time in the process. Several minutes later, he was walking out of the bathroom rubbing his nose gently and heading off to class. A knowing look from Kiba when he took his seat told him that he was not being as subtle as he thought. He grinned.

"Whatcha lookin’ at, mutt?"

"You gotta quit that stuff. It’s killing you," Kiba said sadly.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about. I quit using months ago, remember?"

Kiba shook his head and turned his attention to the students filling the room. Naruto tilted back in his chair to wait for the start of the lesson. After class, Naruto pulled Kiba aside.

"I’ll quit; I will this time. I just need some help doing it. Wanna come over this weekend? We can just hang out like old times," Naruto begged.

Kiba started to pull away and yell at the blonde boy. Naruto had been lying to them all about his addiction for years. The logical side of Kiba told him that this time was no different. Naruto’s blue eyes were dimmer than ever as of late. They were drowning in sadness, and they pleaded with Kiba. Kiba sighed and nodded his agreement.

"Naruto, if you’re lying again…."

"I’m not. I can do it, I just really need a friend to help me get through it. It hurts so bad when I stop."

Kiba pulled Naruto into his arm and started leading his friend of seven years off to lunch. The seventeen-year-old boys were the oldest friends of their group. Kiba had seen Naruto struggle since they started high school to get back in control of his life.

"Your parents won’t mind will they, Naru?"

"Nope. Dad’s on business this weekend and you know Mom loves you."

Kiba smiled. His friend was right. He let go and punched Naruto in the arm before heading to get in line for food. Naruto took a seat next to Hinata and pulled his lunch from his bag. He smiled and flirted with the girl as he ate. He tried to stay focused on his friends, and not the heroin in the bottom of his bag.