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Coping	By : hatochan Category: Naruto > General Views: 910 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Coping
- 1
Author's Notes

- Another thanks to everyone who read Show and Tell!

- Fuyu_no_Akegata: -giggles- ' edible shinobi' ^^

Story Notes

- This occurs several months after the events described in ST: Ch5, I'll Show You Mine, so Iruka is around 20-21.

Warnings: ANGST ( ya'll know by now that I am serious when it comes to this angst warning), self mutilation/attempted suicide ( depends on how you look at it), biseinin-ai, coarse language, serious subject matter, etc.

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. ' Never Too Late' belongs to Three Days Grace.

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Coping

// This world will never be... What I expected... And if I don't belong...Who would have guessed it...//
The music is deafening and Genma immediately understands why the fujikomero no jutsu has been placed on the apartment. This is way louder than when he usually listens to music, even when he's upset or breaking. The fucking floor is practically vibrating with the noise! He is glad that Naruto-kun is away with Gai-sensei and Lee-kun, a training/camping trip to lift the boy's spirit during somber times. The honey haired shinobi makes his way towards the back of the flat, not even bothering with the formality of removing his sandals in the entry; he will clean up the mess if necessary. And he ignores the stereo blasting from the entertainment center; it would take him forever just to figure out which of the multiple systems is being used. He briefly wonders why he didn't notice anything wrong at lunch that afternoon when he stopped by for sushi and small talk. I'm going deaf in here.

// I will not leave alone... Everything that I own... To make you feel like it's not too late, It's never too late...//
The music is the least of his worries as he strides through the living area towards the bathroom, fear growing with each step. Kami-sama, please... He didn't even send a summons. He always sends a summons. Why would he put a muzzle on the door, but not send a summons? Small images of a happy couple, both with dark hair and eyes and winning smiles, flash through his thoughts and increase his unease.

// Even if I say... It'll be alright... Still I hear you say... You want to end your life...//
Genma reaches the bathroom and tests the knob, thanking whatever deity has blessed him with it being unlocked. Maybe it isn't as bad I thought. The small sense of relief is crushed, however. He enters the cramped space and faces a nightmare, his heartbeat momentarily stalling in his chest.

// Now and again we try... To just stay alive...//

Oh, kami no...

// Maybe we'll turn it all around... 'Cause it's not too late... It's never too late...//
White clouds of steam fill the room and Genma is hard pressed to see anything in the thick air as a wave of heat and moisture sweeps over him. Everything smells of rosemary and lavendar, with an underlying metallic tang. The clouds eventually turn to wisps and the tokujo discerns a dark shape in the remaining fog. Iruka. Iruka sits slumped on the floor, his back against the wall of the tub, chin resting on his chest. The usually neat tail of dark hair hangs limply in the humid air and sticks to his face and shoulders. The muscular figure is completely bare. Genma notices the faucet gushing hot water into the filled basin, freshwater rivers making their way over the sides, the noise drowned out by the music. He reaches over and turns the handle, slipping on the wet floor, his hand accidentally making contact with the scalding liquid in an effort to catch himself. His yelp of pain is hidden under the thunderous notes.

// No one will ever see... This side reflected... And if there's something wrong... Who would have guessed it...//
Falling to his knees, Genma can better see the bright crimson trails marring Iruka's perfect caramel skin; mixing with the chuunin's sweat and the condensation and creating murky streams along the defined muscles of his chest, over his belly and angular hips and pooling on the tile floor. A glass bottle of scented bath oil, rosemary and lavender, lays broken in one motionless hand; its jagged edges stained red.
// And I have left alone... Everything that I own... To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late...//
" No, no, no, Iruka!" Genma feels the tears pricking his eyes, wanting to fall because his friend is covered in blood and he doesn't look as though he's breathing and everything the tokujo was taught to do in these kinds of emergencies has left him. " 'Ruka-chan! IRUKA!" The broken bottle is smacked aside, the glass skidding on the wet floor and thudding into the hallway's baseboard. Slender hands lift the beloved face, cradling cheeks that are much too pale for the dark skinned man. Genma wishes he could see that flaming blush that occurs whenever Iruka gets particularly flustered over the senbon sucker's lack of tact and diplomacy, usually when they are in the presence of young children. The dark lashes are too stark a contrast fanned over the rounded cheeks, the once rosy lips now slack.
// Even if I say... It'll be alright... Still I hear you say... You want to end your life...//
When the heavy head is lifted, Genma finds the source of the red mess and his sobs burst free for a moment before he clamps down on them. The cuts across Iruka's throat are long and more than skin deep, but despite what looks to be a large amount of life's blood seeping down the barely rising chest, Genma can see that nothing vital has been severed. He forces his hands to stop shaking long enough to draw chakra to his fingertips, brushing them along the incisions to mend the broken muscle and flesh. More beads of crimson well up as he works.

// Now and again we try... To just stay alive...//
" Iruka, Iruka, 'Ruka-chan, c'mon." Genma mutters a constant monologue of pointless comforts. The cuts are healed and he wipes the blood from the tender skin, reaching into his vest pocket for his med kit. Blood pills are pulled from the small package and Genma pushes them into the chuunin's mouth. He scoops warm water from the tub with his cupped hand, laying his palm over Iruka's mouth so the fluid can help the pills go down. The newly healed skin is massaged with shaky fingers to assist the swallow. " 'Ruka-chan, 'Ruka-chan, look at me baby, please baby, look at me!"
// Maybe we'll turn it all around... 'Cause it's not too late... It's never too late...//

Dark eyes crack open. A choking cough as water, saliva and a half dissolved pill are ejected. Genma closes the younger man's mouth, palm pressing gently on the full lips. " Swallow, 'Ruka-chan, swallow for me, baby, and just keep breathing." He is smothering in the heavy frangrance, the whole room reeks of the deceased. Iruka coughs again, but his throat muscles work without prompting. The sable eyes look pleadingly into Genma's hazel.

// The world we knew... Won't come back... The time we've lost... Can't get back...//
" Ba-baby, ba-Hisa- Hisaye." Iruka's eyes widen, greater awareness returning to him. " She's dead. Baby, baby, dead, Gen- " His gaze falls, his fingers lift. Iruka stares at the diluted smears of blood dripping from his hand. " I d-d-didn't mean - I didn't... I'm sorry, s-sorry, so sorry, I-I'm sor-"

// The life we had... Won't be ours again...//
Genma buries his face in Iruka's wet dark hair, both arms circling the shivering body. " I know, Iruka, I know. " He keeps his voice low, speaking directly into the shell like ear so he won't have to look into those big brown, pain filled eyes. Oh, Kami-sama... Why did this have to happen? Just one death caused all this and I'd thought we were better shinobi than that. " I know it hurts, but you have to stay with us, okay? Hisa-chan wants you to stay here with Naruto-kun and me and Raidou and -"
// This world will never be... What I expected... And if I don't belong...//
The chuunin struggles in Genma's embrace. His voice gains strength and volume, his words panicked. " No! No Raidou, no Raidou! Don't tell him, Genma, p-please don't tell him, don't tell Raidou! Can't know, can't!"

// Even if I say... It'll be alright... Still I hear you say... You want to end your life...//
Tears flow freely from Iruka. Genma holds his in. He is amazed at how Iruka can still be thinking about Raidou when he himself is so consumed by hurt that he just tried to slit his own throat. He pulls the brunette closer to his own body in an effort to cease the tremors coursing through the smaller frame. Always thinking about others, chibi. Genma already knows that he can not tell Raidou; it would break the older scarred brunette just as easily as the younger. Rai hasn't been well for over six months, not since the mission. He's gotten so pale, so fragile.

// Now and again we try... To just stay alive...//
" I won't tell him, 'Ruka-chan. I promise. Shhhhh, just calm down, baby."

// Maybe we'll turn it all around... 'Cause it's not too late... It's never too late...//
Genma startles as Iruka bursts into a fresh fit of sobs and gasps. " I promise, I won't tell him, 'Ruka. Please, please, just promise me that you won't try this again. Promise me you'll come to me when it gets this bad. " He tightens his hold and rubs his hand over the trembling back, heaving with the chuunin's cries. Raidou's drifting away and Iruka is... Genma closes his eyes, pushes his nose into the disheveled ponytail and rocks his friend. He tries to block out the music. He tries to reach heaven with his thoughts.
// Maybe we'll turn it all around... 'Cause it's not too late... It's never too late...//

You're the strong one, Iruka. We'll fall apart if you leave us. We need you.

// It's not too late... It's never too late...//
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- I promise the next one will be non-angst!
- 1
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