Soothing Darkness | By : Cepheus Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1564 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Cepheus:
shot dedicated
to Agni. Now First of a collection of inter–related shots, too. All
of them ItaNaru.
……………………………………………
Rating:
NC–17
Shot
Summary: (ItaNaru
Yaoi) Soothing hands chasing away the cold, the loneliness and the
pain. Slowly embracing a soul that is not yet an enemy.
Warnings
for the shot: lemon,
lime, oral, sex, male x male sex. Plainly this. Don’t like? Scram
away as fast as you can.
Disclaimer:
meaning not claim. Why is it here? To state I don’t own Naruto. I
wouldn’t be writing here otherwise. I would be living in Japan,
reading yaoi…
“Talking”
‘Thinking’
–Flashbacks,
dream, memories–
……………………………………………
Soothing
Touches
First
Shot
He
didn’t know when it had started, really, because the nights seemed
to disappear and blend together, until he could no longer tell how
much time had passed, or when the day came.
The
days were the same, void of anything, blurring into a white
nothingness between a nightmare and another. Time didn’t matter
anymore.
It
didn’t seem natural, he knew of it, but at the same time it wasn’t
forced, because he’d wanted it. Wanted to disappear, wanted to stop
meeting pain and despair every time he closed his eyes.
He
desperately wanted to stop hurting… stop thinking… stop dreaming.
Days
passed through with him training, not really caring about what to
expect from the next day, training from morning to late evening,
never stopping, until all his muscles turned to jelly and he flopped
on the ground, not satisfied, not relieved, simply tired, and waited
because he could not sleep.
Staring
upwards with half–lidded eyes, slowly unfocusing, retreating into
an unwelcome but at the same time wanted darkness… trying to
forget.
The
white haired man would come back then, staring at him with those
unnerving eyes, because Naruto could not read inside his mind and
understand what the other, his sensei, was thinking about him.
And
as the time passed, he stopped caring about that, too. Retreating
inside himself, not finding anything real around him able to call him
back… losing himself where he thought his nightmares would not get
him.
Weeks
had passed this way, then months, Naruto not really sleeping at
night, only gazing at the sky, thinking. After days like this he
would eventually fall asleep, but it never brought relieve to him,
nor rest.
Nightmares
plaguing his conscience, so much not even reality felt true anymore,
and he fell deeper and deeper…
Day
by day… night after night… drowning even deeper.
Jiraiya
probably knew of this but never said anything, silently moving him
from the ground when the night overcame the last rays of the sun…
after Naruto had been for a hour on the ground, his eyes lost in the
sun fall.
There
were times when Jiraiya didn’t come back, but Naruto never cared,
never noticed except for when he would drag himself across the
training grounds towards his sleeping bag.
Sometimes
Jiraiya would not return for weeks, too. Probably his own nightmares
resurfacing because of him.
Naruto
couldn’t bring himself to care.
………………
It
was then that it had started, probably, Naruto could not remember it
well. Everything had been unreal, wavering, to him.
Always
when Jiraiya wasn’t there, night after night until Naruto’s tired
mind would blur away the images in front of him, and think it was
just his imagination. When his self–destructive acting had almost
brought him to collapse, it was then that it had started.
He
was laying on the ground, feeling the uncomfortable heaviness of his
own tired body to its limits, each of his muscles aching and needing
rest, feeling his breathing even out, the soft, rhythmic thumps of
his own heart in his ears, travelling through his frame.
His
eyes were turned upwards where the sky was, watching with uncaring
interest the colours smudge from reds and oranges to the dark,
soothing blue of the night, showing the first stars, when a shadow
covered the small sparkles of light, forcing him to try and focus his
blurred sight.
Naruto
blinked in vain, and felt soft, cool hands move him to a sitting
position, his face pressing against soft silk. Mildly wondering if
this was Jiraiya, and it wasn’t, and who it could be then, eyes
half–closing in proximity of the warmth he had almost forgotten.
He
didn’t care.
Someone
was holding him close, the action almost soothing Naruto’s heart to
a slow, steady rhythm, calmer but stronger, small threads of chakra
(cool healing burning chakra) flowing inside his body, healing
him.
Hands
moving upwards to brush against his hair, then moving downwards to
his shoulders, feeling the tension in there, and dissipating it away,
massaging and brushing coolly against his muscles.
It
felt relaxing, and Naruto did not move, cheek pressed against a dark
silk, black silk, cool silk, enjoying the slow, calm movements.
He
fell asleep and in the morning, for the first time, he felt a bit
better.
He
kept on training, exhausting himself just like before as if nothing
had happened, sure nothing had happened, feeling the training
as he felt his body, real, there, true to his touches. The night had
been nothing but illusions, as dark brought only nothingness.
And
again he stared at the stars, eyes still blurred into dreams and
nightmares of things that weren’t really there, and again a shape
covered his sight.
Night
after night, cool hands brought Naruto back from his darkness, soft
calm touches relaxing his muscles, no words, no noises, nothing that
could make it less fake, nothing that could make it more real.
Night
after night, Naruto’s consciousness returned to him, training
during the day to exhaustion only to find healing in the night.
Chasing
away the darkness. Chasing
away the emptiness.
And
he slept, dreamless soothing sleep.
………………
He
didn’t know how many weeks, how many months, had passed like this,
lonely training in the day, warm but cool hands and a comforting
presence in the night, and Naruto could see it was slowly bringing
him back.
It
was not Jiraiya, but he could not think who would help, who could be
the one.
That
night his eyes were not blurred as the figure held him close, that
night his voice didn’t die on his lips, preventing him from
breaking the comfortable silence he was enveloped into. He could have
asked, even though his mind still couldn’t bring himself to care.
Wonder,
ask, do something different than just let himself be held…
But
there was no point in speaking, and so he didn’t.
Another
night of consuming darkness away.
Not
caring if black silk was coloured by crimson swirling clouds, as his
steady clearing eyes noticed.
Not
caring if blood red reflected in eyes he could not see, but knew were
there.
The
next day, Jiraiya was back.
Old,
unreadable eyes watching him, uneasiness that was too easy to notice,
uncertainty clear on his face and Naruto for the first time ever, saw
concern in the man’s eyes. Eyes
that had recognized the lingering chakra, and he could not
understand.
Eyes
that had seen something Naruto couldn’t… and decided he would not
ask, because Naruto seemed better.
But
the blond did not care.
Ignoring
the questions that he’d stopped listening to, until he could no
longer hear them.
Ignoring
the caring, pleading tone until it faded in the background and he
could not hear it anymore.
Ignoring
the suspicion and the lingering chakra threads.
Ignoring the
fear, moving on his training with empty eyes, Naruto existed without
living once more.
Jiraiya
remained, scared and afraid for him, and the soft hands didn’t come
anymore at night.
………………
Two
weeks Jiraiya remained with him, and in two weeks Naruto started
sinking again, at night awake until exhaustion took his mind to a
realm he feared and dreaded, his body falling easily through patters
on self–destruction he could not prevent, would not prevent.
Two
weeks, and blue eyes blurred away again.
Two
weeks, and the emptiness returned until he cared no more.
He
missed feeling.
Days
blurred into nothing, where light fused with the background so much
he could not tell if he was moving or if the world was moving around
him, loneliness and pain and fear of what he could no longer evade…
Nightmares
plaguing what little sleep he had.
Nightmares
plaguing him even in his wake… if wake could be called his
apathetic state.
Nightmares
where he could feel and touch and hurt, nightmares where the darkness
was just as real as he was, nightmares eating him alive.
Blind
to Jiraiya’s own pain as he destroyed himself with training,
running away from his truths and realities.
Moving like he
wasn’t really alive, acting like a drone, without any will.
And
Jiraiya could only stare as his young student dried away in front of
his eyes, until he no longer answered to his calls.
“Naruto…”
Dull
empty eyes turned towards him, flaring pain inside the old man’s
chest. Too old to see that pain again. Too old to feel that pain
again.
Dead.
Unable
to help, he was human too. Humans want to escape.
That
night Jiraiya left again, knowing what he left behind, knowing what
would happen, but this time his fear was enough for him to move away.
Naruto
did not move from the ground that night. He did not shift toward his
sleeping bag, simply resting against bare ground.
Useless,
until dark came.
………………
Dull
eyes did not move as hands brushed against his face, differently
touching, differently feeling, as if knowing it would not be enough
anymore –the contact wouldn’t be enough.
Kneeling
next to the motionless body, a shape shifting above him until he was
enveloped by dark silk and warm skin against his, his face moved so
he could stare directly into the shape’s eyes.
Hands
brushing against his cheeks, as asking him to feel it.
Patiently
though, they worked on his muscles, tenseness slowly fading away in
soft caresses, quality such hands shouldn’t have had
At
all.
Warmth
surrounding his cold body, warming him up from the coldness of the
night.
Blue
eyes unblinkingly met dark, crimson ones, unmoving aching body
pressed down by the one above his, taller, stronger, pale skin under
the moonlight with fingers tracing his own.
Presence
he knew and did not reject.
Naruto
welcomed the touch, forbidden as it was, because he was forbidden as
well.
And
nothing mattered anymore.
“Are
you even alive?”
A
breathed question, though the answer was known to both.
Hidden
underneath layers of nothingness and dark, blue eyes sparkled a bit.
Waiting.
Resting.
Until
the darkness would fade away. Until
the nightmares would disappear. He was alive, barely, but alive.
Sleep
blissfully reached his senses while strong arms moved around his
shoulders, and Naruto slept, fading away where he could rest, fading
away in the warmth he’d missed so much.
That
morning he woke alone, tingling skin, warm, and he did not train.
………………
It
had changed over the weeks, Jiraiya never returning again, probably
too scared by a failure, and brightness returned in dull blue eyes
until his voice finally appeared again, fleeting words from one to
another in the dark warm nights.
There
were no questions
There
were no answers
Just
words, and speeches, and comforting silences.
Strangely
though, reversing their position, a raven spoke, and a blond was
silent. Calling him back, enticing him, making his feel again.
Focusing on the world around them once more.
And
every time, hands would massage and banish the darkness, the cold and
the tenseness, and Naruto would fade into unconsciousness.
He
didn’t care who the person was anymore. In this state of mind, he
could not care.
He
was safe, after all. There were still years to go.
Accepting
whatever would come…
Until
one night, blue eyes turned clearer. After so much, he was
resurfacing, slowly but surely… and his first words were spoken to
the silky darkness he had his face buried into.
“What
do you want?” was the question.
The
emptiness washed away, forced against the sharpness of what was real…
his own words making him feel the truth again.
Cool
lips dancing against his own as he was pushed on the ground, black
silk with red clouds under his back, protecting him from the ground.
And he wished for this truth, feeling for real something that was not
fake.
Innocent
blue eyes, still bordering into dullness, looked up, accepting what
no one else had accepted before.
Lips
twitching upwards. Crimson
eyes flickering. A cascade of ebony hair curling around his face and
brushing on Naruto’s.
“You”.
Lips
turned to a ghostly smile.
“Then,
go on”.
………………
Lips
clashed against his own, forcing his body to feel with
appalling fierceness, teeth biting hard, so hard to draw blood
–pleasure mixing with pain, intense and real.
Naruto
moaned, opening his mouth to invite the other in.
And
Naruto held no false thoughts on who it was, who was going to take
him away, who was going to own him –not even as ebony hair was so
similar to another, not even as crimson eyes swirled
all–so–familiarly– this enemy was not his friend. This man was
not his enemy.
“Itachi…”
a lost whisper fading in the arms of the older man, whose hands had
brought him back from the darkness.
Tongue
brushing against his lips, sneaking inside his mouth, tasting
anything and everything with overwhelming intensity, taking away
sanity and breath as Naruto moaned out, his body pressed flush
against Itachi’s, giving himself to him entirely, giving himself
without a second thought.
Massaging
and licking Naruto’s insides with his tongue, Itachi pressed his
hands on the blond hair, his body keeping the younger teen’s
blocked against the ground, eager to feel and taste and touch and
–own.
One
hand sneaking lower, barely brushing against Naruto’s chest under
his shirt, skilfully pressing against his nipples, and Naruto gasped
out in the other’s mouth, arching his back in pleasure with
half–lidded eyes.
Finally
something that felt real.
Gone
were the soft touches, gone were the calm massages…
Everything
burned away in flames of passion and need.
Fingers
stroking each nipple, light touches that brought small yelps of
desire out of the blond’s lips, dizzying waves of pleasure and
euphoria –hands closing over his wrists, stretching his arms over
his head.
Naruto
moaned, completely exposed and wanting more.
Itachi
carefully lowered his head, exploring Naruto’s chin, Naruto’s
neck, licking and biting and suckling and softly blowing hot breaths
above the sensitive bites, Naruto’s small gasps and yelps and keens
music to his ears.
Flushed
body pressed against his own, almost painfully.
Drowning
in pleasure.
“Itachi…”
Licking
over his nipples, biting on them.
“Itachi!”
Arching
his back as pleasure and pain cursed together in a flash, feeling
himself harden under the ministrations, feeling himself lose control,
wanting more, asking for more, begging–
Every
nerve inside him twitching and fizzling for more, burning where the
hot tongue touched. Feeling pure, utter pleasure, thrashing his head
to the sides, panting and gasping for air when the tongue moved
lower.
“Ah…
more…”
Licking
its way around the seal, making him buck his hips up, gasping in
order to get more air in his lungs, aroused until agony…
“This
has to go…” hot, deep voice coming from Itachi’s lips, as hands
moved to slip Naruto’s pants away, moving himself in–between
naked legs, cool hands pressed against his bare skin.
Naruto
moaned, realizing what was to come, realizing what was happening.
“Itachi…”
Only
to cry out, when a tongue licked at the insides of his tights, moving
nearer to his arousal but without touching it, dark eyes filling with
lust as he watched pre–cum slip through his member.
Naruto
whimpered, needing a release of the pressure inside himself, twisting
around to get Itachi where he needed it, but the older shinobi
ignored his pleas, the shudders of delight, licking and biting on the
exposed skin with more determination.
Naruto
arched his back again, only to have his arms pinned against the
ground, Itachi’s body flushed against his own again, hot lips on
his own, his erection pressed fully against Itachi’s.
Naruto
shuddered at the feeling as Itachi started to move and shift above
him, closing his eyes, flushed crimson, lips parting in delight and
rapture. Everything, the touches, the stimulation… too much…
The
light brushing was enough to bring relief to Naruto’s aching
pressure, white dots appearing behind his closed eyes as he moaned
loudly, muffled by Itachi’s lips on his, the older shinobi’s
tongue coaxing his own in a slow battle.
Naruto’s
naked body moved on its own accord against Itachi’s clothed one,
shifting more urgently, thrusting upwards when the pleasure became
too much pleasurable for him to keep a straight mind –the dizzying
sensations becoming too much as he needed more, wanted
more…
… rubbing
harder against the frame above his, faster, harder…
Until
Itachi’s hand came down to stop him, eliciting a frustrated moan
from Naruto’s parted lips, as the blinding pleasure dimmed down,
leaving him panting on the ground, his fingers curled around the silk
of Itachi’s mantle.
“I
can do that…” Itachi’s voice whispered in Naruto’s ear.
Naruto
whimpered, his body unconsciously shifting towards Itachi’s, as if
asking for more, for the warmth, the contact, the…
“Please…”
Naruto closed his eyes again, panting, as he felt Itachi’s lips
ghostly touch his naked neck.
Itachi
didn’t move, pressing closer to Naruto’s flushed frame, not
giving the younger teen what he wanted.
“Please…
I need…” he wasn’t coherently speaking, but the darkness
receded as he spoke, desire clouding his senses.
Itachi’s
mouth moved down again, torturously licking and breathing and kissing
down Naruto’s neck again, keeping the teen’s body still under his
as he licked his path downwards, feeling the tense muscles underneath
the pale, enticing skin.
“Please!”
Naruto could not take it anymore, salty tears appearing in the corner
of his eyes as he tried vainly to get some sort of release to the
doubled pain and pleasure Itachi was giving him, the feeling
overwhelming his defences.
Itachi’s
hands found their way to his hips, blocking them down as he finally
reached his goal and engulfed Naruto’s erection in his mouth.
Naruto
could only choke on his sobs, shudders shaking his form continuously
as pleasure like no other crashed through him, each and every lick on
his length making him pant louder–
“Ah–”
Gasping
out Itachi’s name like a mantra as pleasure rocked through his
body, white flashes taking over his vision until everything else
disappeared–
“Itachi…”
The
hot tongue licked its way through the top, massaging it, teeth
scraping against its length, swirling over as Itachi suckled on him,
hot mouth against his fevered skin–
“Itachi–”
Pleasure
coiling inside him from head to toe, burning heat taking away his
breath until he could only frantically gasp–
“Itachi!”
He
came, his back arched almost impossibly high, eyes snapping open,
glazed over by blinding pleasure, while Itachi retreated from his
arousal, a trail of white slipping down his chin as he stared with
lust–filled eyes at the blond’s spent form, knowing he was the
cause of it.
Naruto
simply remained there, his entire body heavy and fizzling for the
excessive pleasure he’d experienced, but it was far from finished,
as Itachi made it clear by shifting above him, deeply kissing Naruto
and making him taste himself in the other’s mouth.
Naruto
groaned out, feeling more than hearing Itachi’s growl under his
breath, “mine”.
He
could feel, in his state of mind–dulled excitement, as Itachi
slowly moved his own pants away, then the rest of his clothing, naked
skin pressing against his own, naked length brushing against his
spent one, sending shudders through his sensitised organ.
Feel
as Itachi continued shifting, their erections brushing against each
other slowly and painfully, making Naruto close his eyes again as the
same kind of heat started burning again inside his body.
Feel
as one hand sneaked down, passing his slowly reacting erection to
move lower, rubbing a spot underneath his arousal for a moment before
pressing hard onto it.
Naruto
yelped loudly as another kind of pleasure, different from anything he
had experienced before, even stronger, hit him head on, making his
fingers tingle pleasantly in a mix of pain and sheer pleasure.
“Wah!”
his hands grabbed hard Itachi’s shoulders, nails digging into the
skin, and Itachi’s frame shuddered against his, accepting the pain
as aphrodisiac as he continued his searching.
Naruto
shut his eyes close as he felt a finger probe at his entrance, the
feeling quite uncomfortable but not unpleasant.
Itachi’s
body was moving against him again, making him tingle as sparkles of
pleasure raced from his now erected member to his head; Naruto tipped
his head back as the raven licked a path down his neck, sending
spasms through his nervous system.
The
kitsune cried out as the finger stopped probing and carefully entered
him fully, arms circling him as he shuddered at the intimate act of
penetration; Itachi watched in rapture as Naruto’s face twisted
from discomfort to pain, dark orbs filling with lust.
Another
finger slipped in, making Naruto shift uncomfortably trying to
alleviate the distress, a part of him blushing at the embarrassment
of having two fingers entering him there.
“Relax”
was Itachi’s comment as a third finger carefully entered him,
beginning to stretch Naruto’s insides for what was to come.
The
blond’s muffled scream was swallowed by Itachi’s mouth on his as
the fingers moved inside him, the hand circling his waist leisurely
brushing against his erection to distract him. Naruto panted hard,
unable to concentrate on the mixed feelings inside him.
Itachi’s
fingers slammed inside him again, hitting something deep within him
that caused Naruto to cry out again, his nails digging in the raven’s
back sharply in retaliation as he arched his back, pre–cum dripping
down his erection once again as he sobbed in pleasure, the tingling
sensation far stronger now.
Itachi
shuddered again, finally acknowledging his own desire as he pulled
out his fingers, replacing them with his own length.
Naruto
panted hard, trying to gather more oxygen in his lungs as something
much bigger than the fingers penetrated inside him in one go, pushing
inside, stretching his inner muscles until it stopped, filling him
till the hilt.
Naruto
gasped and panted, writhing in pleasure and pain, mixed sensations
that sent shudders through his frame as he clutched hard Itachi’s
frame against his, the only connection and anchor he had with sanity
now.
Sliding
his erection out almost completely in an excruciating slow pace,
Itachi moved back in, ever so slowly, feeling the muscles clench and
spasm around his length, closing his eyes at the pleasure it was
causing him, feeling a perverse satisfaction in hearing Naruto pant
and whine at him to move –faster stronger harder.
“Faster…
please–”
Itachi
slowly let himself out, moving back in at the same slow pace,
enjoying the skin against his own, the cries of pleasure and pain and
need from the other, the feeling of control he had on him…
“Itachi…”
Naruto moaned out aloud, and finally Itachi nodded, slamming himself
hard inside the blond, hitting head on against his prostate, making
him yowl and cry out in pleasure, his body convulsing and arching
against him.
“Ah!”
Naruto
met Itachi’s thrusts with his own, every time crying out the
other’s name, feeling more alive than he ever did before, sweat on
his skin, his heart beating frantically, skin under his fingers, his
throat raspy for his yells–
The
pace changed again, more frantic now as both could feel the heat take
over their minds, moving together in rhythm, needing more, wanting
more, Itachi slamming in and pressing hard against Naruto.
Sharingan
flaring in his wide eyes as he drank of Naruto’s beauty, his free
hand clenching around Naruto’s member, pumping it in time with his
desperate thrusts–
“I–Itachi…”
Slamming
hard inside him, feeling and touching and biting and kissing–
“Harder,
please, harder–”
Lips
meeting with Naruto’s, feeling the pressure build inside both,
every time hitting the same agonizing spot that drove Naruto wild,
harder and faster, and deeper…
“Itachi…
more–”
Growling
as his name was spoken like a mantra again, the sound heavenly to his
ears–
“Ah…
more… Itachi, I’m–”
The
Uchiha’s lips swallowed Naruto’s yells as he kissed him deeply,
feeling Naruto tense and grab him and cry out in passion, blue eyes
snapping open in that moment of blinding pleasure, meeting wide
crimson ones–
Naruto
came hard, the world spinning and collapsing around him as he held
onto Itachi’s frame, gasping as pleasure like nothing before
consumed him from the inside and outside, white creamy liquid
spilling in Itachi’s waiting hand, muscles clenching around the
other–
Itachi
felt his own release build inside him like a flame and he closed his
eyes, accepting the feeling and coming with a low groan, the pressure
on his erection too much for him to resist any more.
Dark
eyes opened to watch as Naruto’s body relaxed against the black
silk, legs tangled with his own, fingers still gripping his shoulders
tightly, and Itachi leaned down to bite Naruto’s neck.
Too
tired, too spent, too connected with reality, Naruto didn’t oppose
the touch, eyes fluttering close when teeth clamped down on him.
Itachi
smirked as Naruto fell into unconsciousness.
“Without
this darkness…” he whispered, Sharingan spinning. “I can’t
wait to see how much you will grow…”
Naruto
did not reply, lost deep inside his dreamless sleep.
Wind
passed above the trees –and no one was there anymore.
………………
The
next morning Jiraiya came back.
Naruto
was awake at the time, eyes fixed on the landscape in front of him as
if seeing nothing else, but when Jiraiya called him, Naruto turned.
Blue
eyes sparkling with light that hadn’t been there for long…
Lips
turning up into a smile. Jiraiya’s
heart twisted painfully, too much joy to be able to speak.
Everything
had been blurry, Naruto spoke looking at him, as if everything was
covered by a blanket of darkness… and he could not remember
anything of the last few months, apart his tired training…
Memories
washed away with the dark.
And
Jiraiya never asked again. Not of the fading mark on his neck. Not of
the foreign but familiar and known chakra that still lingered on
Naruto’s skin. Not the fact that the last months Naruto had not
been there.
After
all, it was better not to know.
……………………………………………
Cepheus:
thanks for
reading, I hope for a review. I also hope you will tell me if I have
to continue, yes, continue this. Because, I feel it calls to be a fic
instead of a one–shot. Do you want this to become a real fic? It
would end up like, a collection of lemons, too… but with a plot.
Would you want it?
Review!
Tell me!
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