Pretence of Love | By : WithoutAWord Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 879 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Pretence of Love
Disclaimer: I DON’T OWN THE LYRICS OR NARUTO…
We lie in the dark,
I know you're awake.
The only sounds,
Are the sounds this old house makes.
Oh, how I long, I long to hear your voice.
Desperate to talk, yearning to touch,
Burning inside 'cause I want you so much.
So I say I need you,
And leave you no choice.
You lie
You don't want to hurt me,
So you lie,
Buy a little time,
And I go along,
What else can I do,
Maybe it's wrong,
But you know how much I love you.
So you lie
'Til you can find a way to say goodbye,
You lie
How long until
You just can't go on.
And the urge to break loose,
Is just too strong.
You should let go,
That's what you want to do.
Oh, but you don't know, (you don't know)
If it's the right thing to do
You lie
You don't want to hurt me,
So you lie,
Buy a little time,
And I go along,
What else can I do,
Maybe it's wrong,
But you know how much I love you.
So you lie
'Til you can find a way to say goodbye,
You lie
You lie
Oh, you lie
Oh, you lie
You Lie
Reba McEntire
The window was cracked open, letting the cool summer breeze in the slightly run-down apartment. Streetlights from the front of the apartment building had been on for a couple of hours now, buzzing with electricity and attracting moths and other bugs to the light. The bedroom was darkened by the midnight hour apart from the streetlights and moonlight. But even without the streetlights, his eyes would have been able to clearly see throughout his bedroom, just as he would during the day. He didn’t move, breathing slowly and in a carefully relaxed way, not wanting to disturb his partner.
He let his gaze wander his room, knowing everything was in its disorderly organized place. A lone shoe, long missing its pair, was upside down on the dresser that had a drawer opened and clothes hung out. A knocked down light, it’s bulb long dead, lay on a pile if clothes that hadn’t been washed in a while. He kept meaning to do them, but…
He couldn’t sleep. His partner had a bare arm slung loosely on his side, hand grazing his bared stomach when it twitched every few minutes. His other arm was under him, holding him to his chest, refusing to let go, even in rest. Refusing to shift like he was dying to do, he ignored the blanket that had slipped down from his bare hips long ago, even if the breeze became a little too cool.
When had it come to this? When had it come to him lying to his rival/best friend?
In the morning they would get up, get dressed, his partner watching as he dressed and he refusing to look when his partner pulled out clothes from an over night bag he kept in his bedroom for these occasions. They would go their separate ways, his partner towards their team’s meeting spot, while he would first go to his favourite ramen shop, eat a bowl of miso ramen, and then go to the meeting spot. Neither let on that they had already seen the other that day.
He would greet his partner with a, “Teme,” and his partner greeted him with a “Hn. Dobe.” Then the day would start and recycle from the day before. It was an unending cycle of lies and masks.
I can’t let him go, though. He needs me. I was never needed before.
And there was the problem.
He, never in his life before, was needed by another person. Perhaps he had let it get to his head, because with the words he had been whispered to in the dark one night, “Don’t let go… I.. Need you. Please,” a one-time arrangement became nights in one or the other’s tents during missions, tight embraces in the moonlight coming through his rundown apartment’s windows, and comfort being given without words that usual couplings had. No words were needed during their coupling, only before and after.
He couldn’t let go because the hungry look, that needy touch on his skin, only seen at night and never during the day for fear of others knowing, told him the other would break, shatter into a million pieces, if he did not stay.
His partner was already cracked from the pressure the village piled on him, the sole survivor of their once thriving, and most influential, clan. His need for vengeance, as well, no matter the cost, was slowly breaking him, and no one but he noticed.
No one else let him fall without saying something.
No one but he would forget the expectations his partners’ shoulders held.
No one but he opened his arms to him without question, even if lying to the both of them was hurting him.
He just couldn’t let his rival/friend wipe out his self, knowing that he could stop it, if only for a little while.
No words were spoken about love, no sweet nothings whispered. Only, “I need you” need be spoken, and he pushed away his thoughts to beckon his partner to his bed. He opened his arms for his friend, his self-preferred poison, and allowed him to dominate him, knowing control is what his partner craved. Control over one little thing. And he willingly gave away control.
His partner could not control his life, his avenging need driving him too much, the village being too much of a burden, but when he submitted to his partner, without question, he could see the person his partner could have been. And if he had to sacrifice his need to find his own love, despite his partner being one of his few precious persons, if he had to let go of his dreams for a while to fulfil his partners’ dreams, if only in make-believe, then he would let go.
Sighing tiredly, he ignored his need to shift again and just soaked up his partner’s warmth and tenderness sleep gave him, not voicing anything he felt.
Words were useless and meaningless in their world. Actions were better. Sasuke, his partner, might not say “I love you,” but it was felt. His own actions repeated the phrase neither said back to Sasuke, knowing that that was what he wanted, what he needed, but silently. Even if both knew it wasn’t so, that his love was only make-believe, and those feelings would never be able to be spoken or reciprocated.
Perhaps in an ideal world, they would have been able to freely share their emotions, they might’ve become closer than rival/friend, they might’ve had the chance to allow their love to grow, or in his case, appear, but it wasn’t.
Sasuke still was trying to avenge his clan, and rebuild it.
He, Naruto, was hated by all but Rookie Nine and a few Jounin and the Hokage. He was still trying to reach his dream; and though he cared for Sasuke, he did not love him.
Not in the sense he needed to be loved.
His musings were pushed to the back-burner when he felt Sasuke shift, stretching slightly. He felt a pair of eyelashes blink open. Sasuke had buried his face in his neck when unconscious. Sasuke ran a hand down his flank, making him shiver slightly, but not stir. Sasuke then pulled him closer to him, and Naruto felt Sasuke’s first stirrings of interest begin. He finally shifted against Sasuke, answering a silent question he felt with those black eyes, that could quickly change from black to red, that could be sulky or blank, depending on a mood, that were staring at his whiskered cheeks.
Sasuke buried his face into his neck against, and murmured against his throat what he waited to hear, knowing it would come, since the Uchiha was holding his bottom flush against his now aroused cock and his back tightly to his chest.
“I need you…”
Like every time before, Naruto turned around to face him without question, bringing his mouth closer to the other, and hugged him to his own body, which was now becoming aroused in its own right.
Like every time before, he welcomed Sasuke’s changing their sideways positions to him laying his heavier body on top of his.
Like every time before, Naruto allowed Sasuke to dominate his body.
Like every time before, he welcomed the intrusion to his body, loving as Sasuke basked in his moans, mewls, nips, bites, licks, and kisses.
Like every time before, he wrapped his legs around Sasuke’s waist as he plunged inside him, purring at the friction and pulsing heat and fullness.
Like every time before, he cried out Sasuke’s name as he cried out his own, and held him tightly to his body as they grasped for breath.
Like every tie before, Sasuke looked into his eyes, saying, silently, the words he wanted to say, while Naruto said his lies, knowing Sasuke needed him to say it; knowing it wasn’t true, all the same.
Like every time before, they fell asleep, Sasuke holding him to him just as tight as before, going into dreams of destroying his murderous brother, and restarting the clan that shouted in haunted voices for their revenge, and he allowing it, and drifting off into his own dreams.
And like every time before, they’d wake in the morning, following their unwritten cycle for the day, their Jounin sensei and Sakura-chan none-the-wiser.
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