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Reflections (Abandoned WIP)	By : Tsukineko9 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1226 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Title: Reflections

Author: Cecilia Tsukineko and Kirei Kitsue

Rating: NC-17

Genre and Pairing: yaoi, NaruSasu

Notes: This is our pet project you could say, so the style's a little unique and the effort is huge. ^__^
DISCLAIMER: Naruto doesn't belong to us! We just borrow the characters from time to time for our amusement.
Chapter Title Translation: "My Rival... My Friend."

Chapter One - Ore no Rival... Ore no Tomodachi

I've been standing here staring into the full length mirror behind my bathroom door for an amount of time that I can't name, naked but for the hitai-ate tied firmly over my brow. I'm not sure I like what I see. It isn't my physical appearance that puts me off. No, I've been called all degrees of beautiful, handsome and statuesque. From young girls to old women I get compliments on my raven feather hair and searing black eyes, eyes that hold more than just the secret to my power. No, it's what I see beyond the wall of my piercing gaze that makes me want to curl up here on the cold tile floor and shiver in fear of my future.
I can't see myself any more for the steam that's fogged the reflective glass, and for that I'm almost grateful. Slowly I untie my hitai-ate and lower it, laying it on the bathroom counter. As I step into the shower the steaming water strokes over my sore body easing away the physical results of the completion of one of our latest missions. The few minor cuts burn for a moment beneath the needle like spray of my shower, but that fades as I stare down at my pale feet and let my mind wander.
As usual of late, it wanders in a direction that confuses me more than anything. He's loud, annoying, obnoxious, and about the most idiotic person I've ever seen. And yet I can remember before that personality of his fractured into seeming insanity, when he was a quiet, reserved, hurt little boy, just like me. We had a small, unspoken link between us when we were little, and I think it might still be there between us though our hormones tend to bury it temporarily from time to time. We work well as a team and I never feel better than when he and I can look each other in the eyes, panting, bloody, bruised but triumphant, and tap fists. It's like an unspoken pact resealing itself stronger each time.
I tip my head back and let the water wash over my hair, flattening the rooster tail and making my long bangs stringy and heavy. The warmth of it doesn't seem to sink past skin level for a moment as a chill washes over me. It happens every time. After I've returned to my lonely apartment, I step into the bathroom just like tonight and stare at myself, trying to understand. I want to understand why I am the way I am. And then here in the shower, I shiver under the hot water and think. Every time that pact reseals itself, I get a little more frightened. I'm afraid to lose sight of my goal. I�m afraid to lose the ferocity of my resolve to destroy my brother, to obliterate him completely. I'm afraid... of losing my... comrades at the same time... Or is it more?
The rest of Team Seven isn't really unusual in any outstanding way. Not any way that applies overly greatly to me. Slowly, the water loses its heat and I turn off the faucet before stepping out onto the rug beside the shower dripping water on the floor and rug below me. The water running in rivulets along the lines of my muscles almost tickles, but I lose that line of thought when I look up to reach for a towel and find myself face to face with my sensei.
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"Yo," Kakashi said calmly, not phased in the least by the fact that Sasuke was naked. "We have a new mission and need to go to the Tower right away. I'll go wait for you in the kitchen." He turned around and meandered out of the bathroom, hoping that Sakura wasn't killing Naruto too badly.
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I start in surprise as my shower water suddenly changes from hot to cold, shaking me from my reverie. Damn, I've used up all of this week's hot water by standing here and thinking about stupid things. Too tired to even mutter obscenities I just turn the water off and get out to dry myself. I avoid looking into the mirror as I scrub the water out of my hair with a towel... I don't want to see myself. I don't want to see the marks on my face that announce the presence of the cause of all my troubles. (Damn you, stupid fox, stop bothering me and go back to sleep.) I don't want to look at the flawless skin that makes some people doubt my devotion to being a ninja of Konoha. After all, a ninja is supposed to have at least a few scars, especially after being a ninja for six years... but I heal too fast to gain any. (I said go away!) I don't want to see my cat-pupiled blue eyes, permanently that way now after having to draw on the demon's power so many times. All of it - the whiskers, the unmarked flesh, the cat-eyes - are painful reminders of why I have to fight tooth and nail to gain anything I want... anything I need. Companions... friends... acknowledgement... lo- (I said shut UP!!)
I hang up the towel and head to my room, walking quickly past my dresser to avoid looking into the mirror above it or the hitai-ate resting on top of it. Everyone still argues whether I'm worthy of my hitai-ate... all because they still think that I am the demon. (Go to sleep before I make you go to sleep!!) Almost no one is willing to look at me, the real me. And no one can see through my mask - the jester mask built by years of pain, hardship, friendlessness, loneliness.
There's only one person I think could ever begin to understand me... but I don't know if I want him to understand. We had a silent understanding once. We were friends, but only from a distance. It was a relationship that bore no fruit and suffocated, leaving behind only our rivalry. At least I thought it had suffocated... until that time he tried to run to Orochimaru and I chased after to stop him. Then he called me his friend... and I remembered that time when all I wanted was to be his friend. At first my heart lifted at that and I was filled with hope... I almost dared to believe... and down came the blow, ripping out my feet from under me and sending shards of glass into my heart as he honestly tried to kill me. But I didn't give up. I was not going to lose the only one that I had ever truly considered a friend! (Say one more word, fox, and I'll rip your tails off one by one!!)
I flop onto my bed face-down without bothering to put any clothes on. My curtains are drawn, so I don't have to worry about anyone looking in, and everyone else in my team has got to be just as tired if not more so than I am, so they're not going to come looking for me until morning. (That's it!! You are DEAD, damn fox!!!)
I am just about to start a serious argument with my blasted parasite when all of a sudden Sakura bursts in. Oh, damn.
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Sakura stormed into the room her black mood hanging heavily about her. She was snapping at him before she actually saw him, demanding in a bitchy tone, "Naruto! Get up! We have another mission! Kakashi-sensei went to get Sasuke-kun...." and those words told all. Just her tone alone as she said that last bit made it obvious that her black mood was from Kakashi's insistence that she retrieve him instead of her precious Sasuke, but when she actually looked to him lying there on his bed on his stomach she froze and all of that pissy attitude vanished. It was replaced by an instant blush as brilliantly pink in color as her dress and she whipped around, staring wide-eyed at the wall in embarrassment. "Naruto..." she began, and then dashed out the door blurting out quickly, "I'll meet you in the living room!!" her voice high-pitched from embarrassed shock.
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I sigh as I slowly roll off my bed and walk over to the dresser. I don't really feel like arguing at the moment, but I know I will end up in one very soon. A tired smirk appears on my face at the sound of her fidgeting in the living room. Serves her right for walking in on me... It's strange, but just a couple years ago I would have given anything for her to walk in on me naked. Now I don't really care. I've been hurt and rejected by her too many times. Everybody thinks I'm an idiot... they don't realize it's just a mask.
Deciding to tease her a bit, I just pull on my pants, saving my shirt for after I walk into the living room. Give her a taste of what she could have had if she hadn't been so cruel to me, you know? I pretend that I'm still interested even though I'm not. It keeps people off their guard if I don't change. And if I don't change then the way they treat me doesn't change. Better that it doesn't change at all than get worse.
Putting my mask back in place with frightening ease I tie my hitai-ate around my forehead and walk into the living room, my shirt slung over my shoulder.
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Sakura turned slowly as Naruto entered the living room. Her cheeks were still a flowery pink and her eyes were a little large yet, but she was relatively settled. Or at least she could keep control of herself. Her eyes wandered over Naruto's chest blatantly, as if she didn't even realize what she was doing immediately, taking in all the deeply tanned, fine-honed muscle. Naruto was really a sight to behold these days. He was taller than anyone had ever believed he'd get. In fact, he was even a little taller than Sasuke. And while Sasuke was still his slender pale self, Naruto had amassed a gorgeous physique that just didn't quit. Sasuke-kun was still beautiful, but he didn't maintain half the sheer virility Naruto did, nor did he exude maleness quite like the blond young man either. Sasuke was more of an unearthly, effeminate beauty that lingered like the scent of a rose. A very black rose. And Naruto's presence, though warm within it, always left a chill in his wake. Sakura was certain that was a product of the way people still looked at him. They almost all refused to accept him still even though he was such a great ninja. Sakura still couldn't completely give herself over to being his friend either. He still stood between her and Sasuke on some level... though now she wasn't sure which one. And there were so many levels of relationships... various stages... Shaking her to rid it of all the jumbled thoughts involving her teammates, Sakura managed to tear her eyes up to his and smiled forcefully.
"Ready?" she asked taking in his matured features, his shaggy hair, his sly blue eyes that were still wide and innocent most of the time. She had a feeling that maintained innocence was a facade now, but she had no proof as of yet.
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She asks me if I'm ready and I just shrug, tugging my shirt over my head. The cloth hides the smirk on my face, but that disappears as soon as my head goes through the hole. I know she was looking at me... and I know she was comparing me to him. She always does. I like to think that she finds me more attractive. Not that I care, really. It wouldn't matter even if she did - she'd never admit it. (Damn fox, you have till the count of three...!!) I scratch the back of my head and yawn a bit. Today's mission really tired me out. "Do we really have another mission already?" I ask with a whining note to my voice. Sometimes it scares me just how easy it is to play the village idiot. I've had nightmares where I actually am as stupid as I act and I always wake up in a cold sweat, afraid that someday my mask won't be a mask but reality. (I swear I will find a way to rip your tails off... bastard fox.)
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"Yes," Sakura said shortly and turned her back on him. "Let's go. Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-sensei are probably already with Tsunade-sama."
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I look up as the door to the Hokage's office opens admitting first Sakura, which makes me cringe inside a little as she approaches me that flirtatious smile turning her full pink lips upward. And then he steps through and I can't help but look right to him. Our eyes meet and we just look at each other for several long seconds our expressions a little open, a little vulnerable and then I can feel my defenses rise with my hackles. He has that effect on me for some reason. It's like I'm worried that if I let him, he'll strip away my whole purpose in life like he did to Hyuuga Neji. I can't afford that. For the sake of my Clan's revenge and myself, as well as this village, I can not afford to lose sight of my goal.
I feel my eyes narrow as my defenses settle into place and I give him a colder stare. It's usual for us to greet each other like this, with a stare and then a glare and finally a glower that practically throws bolts of lightning from one to the other, meeting in the middle with invisible sparks.
"Tch."
It's out before I can stop it and I turn my head away quickly. I hope I'm radiating indifference and apathy. I'm just so exhausted, physically and mentally, that I'm not so sure it isn't coming off as bone-weary and a little disheartened. I close my eyes and rest my elbows on my knees as I'm sitting on a rather uncomfortable chair and fold my hands hunching so that my thumbs rest lightly against my nose.
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I really wish he wasn't here. I don't want to deal with him right now. Not feeling quite up to a glaring match, I only give him a half-strength glower and calmly present my middle finger to him right before he turns away. (Damn fox, what part of "leave me alone" don't you understand?!) Ignoring Sakura's heated reprimand, I drop into a chair next to Kakashi-sensei, which thankfully is as far away from him as possible, and give the old hag a pointed look with crossed arms. "This had better be good," I mutter. I want to go home and get some sleep - both my body and mind are demanding it. Especially my body. I ache everywhere.
I don't really think of her as an old hag anymore. As much as I hate to admit it, even to myself, she has earned my respect ten times over. Part of the reason is that she is one of the incredibly few people I can truly be myself with... almost. No one has seen the true me and I don't plan on showing that to anyone - it would probably horrify them - but there are people I allow to have glimpses, at least of the better parts. I can count them on one hand. (No, you don't count. Ahou, you live in me, remember?)
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I ignore the immature hand gesture, despite being sorely tempted - in my state of lacking a good amount of sleep - to return the motion in kind. The old woman is about to begin the briefing and I don't need to acknowledge him in any way anyway since he knows I saw and knows it at least irked me a little bit. His insolence always does. And he seems to simply delight in pissing me off. It's like his greatest joy, the idiot.
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Tsunade, the Godaime Hokage of the great Konohagakure, looked over her chosen team for this very important mission and sighed. Naruto was a brat. There was no getting around that and she reined in her sorely tested temper right then and there and tried her best to stay calm as she began to brief them.
"I have an A-rank mission for the four of you. You will depart with the son of the Fire Lord three weeks from this day at eight in the morning and guard his every step until his diplomatic business in the Country of the Wind is completed and he is safely back within these walls. I will expect you to rest up and conserve and store up energy for this very important assignment."
The Hokage laid out four scrolls along the front edge of her desk and gestured at them. "The largest one is Kakashi's. Each of you take one of these and examine them closely. They will tell you everything you will need to know. If there is anything else you feel you need to know, you will have plenty of time to find it all out. Any questions?"
Sakura moved over to the desk and took up the scrolls, turning and carrying them to her team. She handed the largest one to Kakashi and then gave one to each of her teammates, lingering by Sasuke as he took the scroll from her with extra care not to touch her. A little injured, Sakura turned to face Tsunade-sama again and opened the scroll. She really didn't have any questions yet.
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Carefully avoiding brushing Sakura's slender fingers, I take the scroll from her and open it immediately. It doesn't matter what the mission is, I'm taking it and I will complete it. We have plenty of time to rest up, and the more experience I garner the stronger I'll get. Ignoring the Hokage for the moment, I simply read the scroll, storing the data to my memory and then tuck it away in my pouch while resuming my previous position.
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I take the scroll from Sakura and immediately tuck it into my pocket. I'll read it later when my mind is fully functioning again. As soon as Kakashi-sensei says, "Ninmu ryokai," I stand up and turn to leave. I don't even say good-bye to any of them, not really in the mood to play the part my mask demands of me. That is the only thing that's changed about me as I've gotten older - I've grown quieter. Not quiet like him, but I'm not constantly yelling and dancing around for attention anymore. I fail to see the point anymore really... all it gets is more hateful glares and reinforces the general dislike this village has for me. Not to mention I'm arguing with the damn demon so often and that takes up quite a bit of attention... He just doesn't know when to leave me alone! (Like right now!! Go to sleep already!!)
Never when I was thirteen would I have thought that someday I would wish to be invisible. ...Maybe I'll go to Iruka-sensei's. He lets me stay over sometimes when I want to just get away from everyone, and he doesn't look at me like the rest of the village does. He doesn't understand me any better than anyone else, but at least he doesn't hate me. (You are so lucky I can't take a kunai in there and just stab you to death... damn fox.)
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*Three Days Later, Night Time*
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My heart is actually in my smile as I wander from booth to booth in my best yukata, playing game after festival game and eating at least one of every food that I like. I've done enough missions lately that I have more than enough to spend as long as I don't go completely crazy. And, thankfully, that damn demon is actually asleep at the moment so I can concentrate on what's going on around me. I laugh as kids run by me, darting out of their way so we don't trip over each other's feet. I see Konohamaru in the distance and wave, glad to see a friendly face. We haven't seen each other in a long while since we've both been so busy with missions. He walks over and we talk for a while, laughing as we catch up. Eventually Moegi and Udon find us, dragging Konohamaru away to show him something. They invite me to come along but I decline, smiling and shaking my head as they try to convince me to join them. As much as I like their company, I feel like being on my own tonight. At least until I see that there's a traditional dance in progress.
I want to join in the fun. I want to be just like all the others my age... just for once. No demon, no prejudice... normal. With my usual grin I walk up to the first single girl I see and ask her if she wants to dance. And then another... and another... and another. Some of them turn me down kindly, as if they regret that they don't dare dance with me since everyone else is watching. Others just give me a short "No" and walk away quickly. But the ones that really sting are the ones that just glare at me and turn away to pretend I'm not there - like I'm not even worth the effort to walk away from.
My good mood effectively killed, I leave the dance area and find a bench to sit down at in a quieter part of the festival, watching people pass by. I give friendly smiles to the kids that walk by. I love kids. A lot of them smile back, and all of them are dragged away by their parents as quickly as their child's feet can move. The kids that smiled won't smile at me for much longer... I begin to wonder if I shouldn't just go home, back to my empty apartment where I can pretend I actually have some semblance of a normal life. (Aw shit. Go back to sleep, will you? ... I don't care what you want, go back to sleep. ... When I want your sarcastic comments I'll ask for them! Damn fox...)
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It is always hard to watch someone in pain. I've never been very good with it internally, though externally one would never know it. I'm the unflappable Uchiha Prodigy. I'm the cool, calm, collected Sasuke. But watching Naruto tonight... I can't even begin to describe it. I've known how he is thought of. I've known how he is always treated and spoke of behind his back. I guess, it's just that I've gotten closer to him than almost anyone else. Even Sakura looks oblivious to his troubles as they pass right by each other, like two scouts passing in the night totally unaware of each other. I've been watching the festival from a high up vantage point on a building, not really wanting to participate, but something drags me back to my apartment and before I know it I'm dropping to the ground beside Naruto and sitting on the bench next to him. I'm wearing the Uchiha traditional yukata. I'll be unmistakable to the hordes of annoying fangirls, but for right now I don't care. We sit in silence for a long time. In fact, I'm not even sure whether he's sensed me at all or not, he hasn't acknowledged me in any way.
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Questions run through my head... Why is he sitting next to me? Why hasn't he insulted me yet, or even said anything? What is he thinking? (Okay, that was just gross... I get enough of that kind of thing from ero-sennin, thank you very much.) Eventually I let my gaze shift to him and mutter a greeting. I figure if he's going to be somewhat civil, I might as well be, too. Actually, I feel a little better now that he's here. While we don't get along most of the time, at least he doesn't go out of his way to make my life miserable or act like I'm scum on the bottom of his sandal.
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I smirk very faintly as he mumbles a half-ass greeting to me. At least it's something and I acknowledge it with a return greeting of like enthusiasm. It's odd, but our usual roles feel a little reversed for the moment as I lean forward and stare straight ahead while my lips move to issue the quiet and yet - bizarrely enough - friendly challenge of, "I bet I can scoop more goldfish than you... without using Ninjutsu..."
He's my teammate. I can't just sit here and stare at everything like a dimwit while he's down here getting walked all over and treated like he isn't worth a token. He is at the very least my very best friend. I would rather fight beside him than have a small army of Chuunin at my back. He's worth much more than all of these annoying villagers put together. I've seen what he can do... what he will do... to protect the people he cares for. Grudgingly, I acknowledge that he's even saved my ass a few times here and there over the years. It's time I returned the favor a little bit, I suppose. It feels right anyway.
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"Bet you can't," I shoot back as I stand up and give him a glare, my eyes narrowed to slits. I fall easily into our usual pattern of challenge and banter, insult and annoy. It's comfortable and familiar and... Soothing, almost. For us this is normal, and there is an unspoken understanding behind all our seeming hostility towards each other. We both grew up steeped in pain and loneliness, and that similarity is what connects us. (You have no idea how much I hate the day you started bothering me this much, you damn overgrown rat.)
The strangest thing about my relationship with him, I think, is how we can drop all our differences in a heartbeat when we need to. In battle we work together in concert, so much so that Kakashi-sensei has made the comment that we are like two halves of the same person that just can't always figure out how they fit together. (Not like that!!! Ugh!!) I don't think I was supposed to hear him say that - he was giving the old hag the mission report - but I'm pretty sure he knew I was there. That comment sent me home with a lot to think about. (No I did not!! � That�s not thinking, that�s playing with yourself� Can you please bring your mind out of the sewer and back into the gutter?!)
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Standing, I start for the noisier side of the festival again with my arms limp at my sides, expecting him to follow. I try not to look anywhere but in front of me when I wear some things. This yukata is one of them. The fangirls can't handle me in a yukata well. For some reason it makes them more rabid than usual. I can sense him stop behind me as I stop at a goldfish booth and I pay for both of us to compete as much as we want. This ought to be... interesting. I kneel by the little fake pond and pick up a paper net. Everything at this moment is exactly like I thought it would be from the slightly chilled breeze of the evening to the desperate efforts of Naruto to the smooth and rhythmic efforts of my own. I'm actually kind of glad I decided to join him.
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I look at the one fish in my hands, swimming around in its little bag, and scowl good-naturedly as we walk away from the booth. He won... again. I only managed to catch one fish while he caught literally the rest of the tank. He always wins when the rule of "no ninjutsu" comes up. Damn rule... and I can't break it because then I wouldn't technically be winning. He's not looking at me and I make faces at his back, switching to an innocent look when he turns his head. I just smile when he gives me a funny look. As soon as he looks away I start making faces again. It becomes a game to see whether he can catch me or not.
I'm having fun again. Whenever we're not arguing or trying to kill each other, I always have a good time with him. (...Are all demons as horny as you?!) Our bantering becomes more teasing than anything else and our competitions are just in good fun. We both know that I'm a much better ninja so I suppose it's not such a bad thing that he wins all our competitions that involve normal, everyday things. ...Especially when he used to have a normal life, unlike me.
My train of thought begins to wander and I gaze at nothing as I walk behind him. A few moments later my attention is returned to the real world at a growl of "Let GO!!" I have to bite my lip to stifle my laughter. There's some random girl trying to pull his yukata open. That's what he gets for being such a bishounen. I swear there have been times when I look at him and I think I'm looking at a bishoujo. He's damn near androgynous... but no one can beat Haku at that. Still, he's a close second.
He looks so funny, trying to hold his yukata together and push the girl away at the same time. I suppose I should save him. After all, he did save me from boredom. I will. ...In a minute.
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She poured out of the surrounding crush of people and caught the front of my yukata before I could even register her presence. Nothing pisses me off more than some of these stupid girls and their annoying antics. They are by far worse than the dobe behind me, or anything he could possibly do. I have her wrists in one hand and I'm trying to pry her fingers from the lapels of my yukata, but she just keeps twisting her wrists and grabbing more and more and I'm actually starting to worry that she might manage to hike the damn thing up high enough for the world to see more than they're worthy of seeing when an arm slings over my shoulders, a solid weight settles against my side, and the air is suddenly awash with the scent of ramen and autumn fields, a scent distinct to only one person on the face of the planet. Why do I suddenly feel a little lightheaded?
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Oh yes, I'll save him... and have some fun at the same time. I can't help it, the idea is just too funny. And I want to get back at him for beating me again. "Excuse me, but what do think you're doing to my lover?" I purr sweetly and lightly flick my tongue against his cheek, watching her as I do it. Man, it is so hard not to burst out laughing at the look on her face. (Laugh it up, fuzzball.) Hamming it up, I press myself closer to his side and nuzzle a bit at his ear. He smells like... cold steel and vanilla ice cream. (No, you can't eat him. ... Ew!! Too much information!!) Appropriate for someone who's such a cold bastard. ...Well, not all the time, but most of the time.
Okay, maybe that was a little cruel - the poor girl is absolutely bawling her eyes out. But she ran away like she was supposed to so... mission successful. As soon as I can't see her anymore I let him go and give him my biggest fox-grin, looking down at his legs. "She was sure desperate."
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I can't help but blush ever-so-slightly as I pull my yukata back down to my ankles from where it has ridden up to mid-thigh. My head's still reeling a little over the lingering moisture on my cheek. Nothing overly disgusting or slimy...actually, I don't want to think about this. It's not something I want to think about. I'm afraid if I think about it too much something unknown might happen. No, I'm going to move on now. I start to thank him when a shadow moves into the underside of my vision by his arm.
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The girl reached up slowly, shyly, and gently, hesitantly tugged at the sleeve of Naruto's yukata. She was blushing prettily and looked ready to bolt at any minute. She wasn't gorgeous, more of a girl-next-door kind of cute, but she did politely wait for Naruto to acknowledge her rather than turning and running like the scared deer she resembled.
"Can I help you?" Naruto asked her politely, looking a little surprised. This certainly wasn't normal.
"H-hai.... Naruto-san.... uhm..." she fidgeted and looked away blushing even more and picked at one of her fingernails nervously. "Are you... uhm... I was wondering... Would you... oh!" She exclaimed in frustration seemingly having gathered her courage and bowed suddenly her arms at her sides and her long hair spilling forward over her shoulders. "Please enjoy this festival with me!"
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Wha- no wah-... ALRIGHT!! Finally!! I give her a friendly grin and agree to go with her, a bounce in my step. (Shut up, damn fox.) Immediately, I take her to a game booth and win her a prize. My heart lifts as she smiles shyly at me. There is hope yet that maybe, just maybe, I will be able to find someone who will just accept me for me and be with me... for life.
We wander the festival for a good hour, laughing and talking and playing as many games as my wallet will let us. This is so wonderful! I feel... I feel normal. For the first time in my life I feel like a normal person. Right now I am just like all the others my age - flirting, laughing, talking about anything and everything... She's being so nice to me and I hope we can be friends. (You wish... ero-Kitsune.)
Wait, where is she going? Why is she going into the quieter part of the fair? There isn't anything all that fun over there. I follow her into a quiet alley and am about to ask her what she has in mind when all of a sudden she leans back against a wall and grabs the front of my yukata, pulling me close. I stumble forward and brace my hands on the wall so I don't crash into her. But before I can open my mouth to demand an explanation, she up and kisses me!!
I freeze. I wasn't expecting this! (No I am NOT horny!! YOU'RE the one's that horny!!) I begin to pull away when suddenly there's a fist in my stomach and something hard hitting me upside the head. She shoves me into multiple pairs of hands and wipes her mouth. "You guys owe me for this one!" she snarls, glaring at me. I can't manage a glare back, or even shock - my head is ringing too much. I don't even have the time to recover before I'm being pummeled from every direction.
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I watch them walk away, feeling a little happiness seep into me with Naruto's expression of joy seen just before he disappears into the crowd. I'm a little disappointed now though. The festival's over for me. I don't dare stay here without him as a shield and companion. It's no fun now anyway. I'm about to turn and walk away when I hear loud voices to my right, not too far away.
"This is perfect!"
"It's going to be great!! He'll never know what hit him. Kiritsue was the perfect lure. She looks so deceptively sweet and innocent..."
"And she goes unnoticed easily by a lot of people... Naruto included."
My blood chills immediately and I whirl, stalking up to them with an air of murder about me, grabbing one up by his yukata front and stomping on the other's foot to keep him in place. "What the hell are you talking about, bastard?" I snarl, looking cool and deadly. He stammers out the whole "Grand Scheme" and I feel a cold fire of rage burn up from beneath my initial reaction. I have to find him. Now! I throw the ass to the ground and bite out, "If you warn your group about this I will kill you," and then I'm dashing through the crowd. I really feel like a friend, running through the streets and ignoring the crowd as I search desperately for Naruto - to ensure his safety - for the second time in my life. Naruto would be shattered to find out that that girl was only leading him straight into a pit of vipers. Hadn't my self-appointed mission been coming down here to save him from boredom and depression in the first place? I really don't sound like myself tonight at all! I careen around the corner of a building and dash into a quieter part of town. I can sense Battle Auras flaring and know that it had already started. That bitch is going to pay, I think as I stop just on the edges of the mess. The seals take my fingers without my command and I scream a little as the heat of Chakra dances over my skin in bolts. The rising, chirping scream of the Chidori is the thing that grabs their attention, giving them more warning than I had intended, but it doesn't matter. The end result will be the same.
-----------****-----------
My knee connects with someone's stomach and I hear them gag, but I can't celebrate. I'm still trying to regain my footing from the blow to the head, and there's just too many of them. Someone knocks the feet out from under me and it seems a hundred feet connect with my back. (Not NOW!!) If only I wasn't so dizzy!
Something makes them pause and the sound of Chidori makes it to my ears. When did Kakashi-sensei show up...?! I look up and catch a glimpse of my helper through all the bodies. ...Sasuke?! I start to get to my feet but a foot comes down and my head hits with the ground, adding to my dizziness.
-----------****-----------
I have their attention, the shriek of Chidori a clarion call to end their abuse. They look at me and I have this impression that I must look hellish with the wild lightning of Kakashi�s and my unique Jutsu making me look like some glacial demon. I brace myself, while the power of the Chidori circles around my feet, bolts of Chakra arcing up to the ball of it wriggling in my hand. I pause long enough for effect and then bolt forward, parting the crowd like the Red Sea. When I reach Naruto - the crowd having jumped away from him into a circle, maybe they think I'm here to finish the job? - I whirl to face the way from which I came and I stare at them, my piercing black eyes fading to blood.
"Get up."
No insults, just encouragement of the quiet variety. I want him by my side when we walk out of here. It'll not only prove my point, but it'll also make it more than painfully obvious that Naruto is my teammate and no matter what anyone else thinks, I accept him. I trust him... even if he is a dobe and the Usurakontachi.
-----------****-----------
I haul myself to my feet as steadily as I can, biting my tongue against the urge to throw up - my head hurts that much. Now that they aren't pounding me anymore I can feel myself already beginning to heal, and my dizziness soon fades. Some of them watch in frightened fascination as my bruises fade before their eyes. (Yes, yes, thanks to you. That's the only good thing about having you as a parasite.) They all know that now that I've had the time to get my footing back, they're all essentially dead. I narrow my eyes at all of them and take pleasure in watching them flinch.
------------****-----------
I take a few steps back until the back of my shoulder butts against the one side of his chest. When did he get this much taller than me? Oh well, right now I have a plan. With a short growling-yell I release my wrist and turn my hand sending my palm to the ground and the power of the Chidori rips the earth to bits, sending bits flying in every direction but my own and in effect Naruto's. I straighten slowly in the aftermath and gaze at them for a second before I say calmly to Naruto, "Let's go... I have ramen at my house." It's a blatant invitation and at least there I can make sure he is ok. I pause, but only for a moment while waiting for his answer. When did I start to care at all? I suppose - I think after a moment - I starting caring after he shoved his concern for me right down my throat once... what seems like a long time ago.
------------****-----------
"Okay." As if I'm gonna turn down an offer of ramen! He starts to walk towards his home and I follow, giving all of these cowards my most evil glare as I pass them, saving the worst for that bitch that led me into this. She gives me a cool glare back and I snarl at her, but I leave it at that. (No, I'm not going to kill her. ... Okay, that has possibilities. But not right now.) These low-lifes aren't worth any more effort than that.
We walk in silence the whole way. I don't feel like talking very much. ...For a while I'd actually thought she could be my friend, but it was all a lie. Again. This isn't the first time something like this has happened - someone leading me on and then throwing me away like trash just as my hopes are at their highest. (If I don't have a brain, it's because you're so fat there's no room left in my head. ... Yes, you are.) You think I would have learned by now... that they all hate me. Every single one of them. Even the ones that pretend they don't. I glance warily at Sasuke. I consider leaving him and just going home, but he did offer ramen...
This was the first time I had a gang attack me, though. Apparently it's not an act of cowardice to gang up against a freak. Even through my dizziness, I heard all their taunts. All of them hurt like needles being stuck straight into my heart. (No, I am NOT crying!)
------------****-----------
I glance over my shoulder at him. I can sense that he's upset oddly enough, and on top of that I can almost see the hurt in his eyes despite the closed-off expression on his face. I slow down enough to draw even with him and drift a little closer to his side, our shoulders just brushing. We walk like that in continued silence all the rest of the way to my apartment. Once there, I let us in and then head straight for the kitchen while dropping my yukata off on the loveseat in the small living room. My place is full of sliding doors and so I pull open the door to the kitchen while only in my boxers. It doesn't occur to me right away that it might seem odd to him to see me like this, but when I'm at home in any room but my bedroom unless the curtains are drawn, this is how I relax. Barefoot, I pad up to the counter, stove and of course the sink. I reach up to the cupboard there and ask, "What do you want? Miso pork? Beef? Shrimp? ..." and I pull down a beef for myself. "Do you like onigiri?"
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"Miso pork. And yeah, I do," I mutter, sitting down at the small table in the middle of the kitchen and slumping over to rest my chin on folded arms. I don't care that he's only in his boxers. It's his house. Hell, I do the same thing in my apartment. I watch him silently as he makes the food, wondering why he's going so much out of his way to be nice to me. It isn't like him... but I don't mind it. It's a nice change... but I keep my guard up.
I grunt in thanks as he sets a bowl of ramen and a plate of rice balls in front of me. I eat it slowly... not even ramen seems to lift my mood at the moment. (I'm not in the mood, ahou. Can't you leave me alone even for five minutes?!) My mind wanders, but I keep half my attention on Sasuke. I don't want to be caught off guard again. My conscience eventually bites me hard enough that I mutter, "Thanks..."
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I look up from thoroughly enjoying onigiri and reply, "That's what friends are for..."
It's true. I've admitted he is my friend before. There isn't any reason to deny it now. His mind seems to be wandering more and more and when I feel the time is right - knowing he's trying very hard to keep his attention on me mostly - I lean quickly across the table, pause and when he starts, looking at me, I flick his nose. Lightly.
"Relax, dobe... I'm not going to jump you."
This all happens in the span of about thirty seconds, but my point is made. It still amazes me how much I really can still care for people when I really just stop to analyze myself. I hardly do that. It's dangerous to acknowledge most ties because any tie can be severed and not always by the means of the people in it. I guess I really am afraid to see my precious comrades or friend die again. I don't want to feel that pain of loss. I don't want to lose the one person who seems to know, to understand me. The only person I know of that truly cares about me other than maybe Kakashi, but that's undeterminable. Sometimes I don't think Naruto knows just how lucky he is having Tsunade-sama, Iruka, Kakashi and that perverted frog hermit. All I really have is... well, him.
-----------****-----------
I start a bit at the flick to my nose and glare at him. "As if... Every time you call me your friend you try to kill me, remember jackass?" I growl. I know why he did it... but it still hurts. And right now I am definitely not in a forgiving mood. (That wasn't five minutes. ... Whatever, shut up for another ten then.) I down the rest of my meal and stand up. "Looks like we're even now. Ja." I turn to walk out and go home. Sociable is not a word in my vocabulary at the moment.
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Before I even realize it I'm between him and the door. "Where do you think you're going? Don't you know eating and running is rude, dobe?" I taunt, my voice as it always is... but not as harsh as usual.
-----------****-----------
My eyebrow twitches a bit. He's supposed to let me leave, dammit. "I said thank you, didn't I?" I snap. "Good night." I try to walk around him but he gets in my way again. "Sasuke..." I growl, giving in to the urge to snarl at him. I want to be by myself right now!
-----------****-----------
"Don't be a complete idiot. Do you think they're done with you?" It's all I can think of to say. He doesn't need to be alone right now. He just wants it because it's what he's used to. In fact, he really needs to be with someone. I'm not kidding about that mob of rabid idiots probably wanting to try again.
-----------****-----------
"Then I'll take the high road and maul anyone who gets within ten feet of me," I bite out. "And what do you care anyway?" Not wanting the answer, I grab his shoulder and shove him out of the way.
-----------****-----------
The only problem for him is, I shove back, and readily. "You don't need to be by yourself right now and I care because you're my friend. Now stop being a total dumbass, ahou." A shoving match ensues almost instantly. That's usually how it is between us. It doesn't take us long at all to start our bantering and bickering. It's familiar ground for us and not only that but it is comforting. At least for me it is. It lets me know that the one person I know and that knows me is still that same person he was when I first acknowledged our bond of friendship.
-----------****-----------
"Bastard, get out of my WAY!!" I roar, shoving him with more strength than I should have. Dammit, It's coming out again. (Yes, you are an "It". ...) "SHUT UP!!!!!" I hate that demon... I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it!!!!!! It doesn't know when to "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!"
-----------****-----------
I stop. This isn't our normal banter. He looks really distressed and pissed all at once. This definitely isn't like him. I don't like it. So I'm going to fix it. I drop all pretense of messing around with him and reach out to lay one hand heavily on his shoulder to get his attention. "Naruto... is there something you want to tell me about that thing inside of you? If you're not telling your teammates about something... you realize you could be endangering not only our lives but the lives of the people we are protecting. I trust you... obviously... but I do not trust it."
-----------****-----------
My next yell dies in my throat and I stare at him. When did he find out?! I never told anyone!! (Didn't I tell you to shut up?!?!) My jaw clenches and I jerk my shoulder out from under his hand. I don't want to tell him anything... If I do he'll become just like everyone else and treat me like trash. I want him to stay my friend... or I want to keep the illusion of his friendship anyway. He says he trusts me... but he's also a very good liar. I whirl and before he can stop me I do the seals for the teleportation Jutsu.
The darkness of outside replaces the light of the inside of his apartment and I sit down. This is my escape spot - the crown of Yondaime's head. From up here on the Hokage Monument I can look down on everyone and pretend that they like me... The demon is bothering me again!!
"What part of 'leave me alone' is so hard to make it through your rock of a head? ... At least I'm not so fat I can be seen from space! ... Take that back, you overstuffed rat!! ... I swear, shut up now or-..." I can feel my hackles rising. That's it... that stupid demon has crossed the line! "Shut up now," I growl, "or I'll jump, and don't think I won't." That shuts it up rather effectively. Sadly that's the only threat that gets through to it... and I've had to try and make good on it before too. The only problem is I heal so fast it never works. But all I have to do is try a little harder and we both die... because if I die the demon dies, and that damn fox knows it.
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It irks me that he won't talk to me. He says he's my friend but he won't put his trust in me as I've done for him. I follow him immediately, pissed beyond all reason at his one-sidedness, but when I get close enough to hear him, the anger fades instantly. It is the fox... and... he's tried to commit suicide!? I'm not an idiot. I can tell that just by listening to the little bit that he's just said. I know he doesn't know I'm here so I walk up behind him on silent feet and punch my fist right down on the top of his head.
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"Itai!!! Nani sundaiyo?!?!" I yell, clutching at my head and glaring at him. When did he get here?! And that hurt dammit!!
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"That was for the fox," I state calmly. "He'll leave you alone or I'll make him..." I add as I settle on the monument beside him. I'm dead serious. I'll find a way to make that damn fox leave my friend alone... and I won't have to threaten Death to do it.
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I blink and let my hands fall, looking away. My head doesn't hurt anymore anyway. "...Oh." I can feel the demon's anger at his comment, but it quiets quickly when I turn my full attention to it. My threat is still valid at the moment and the fox knows it. "...Did you hit your head or something?" I mutter, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them. "You're being way too nice to me today. It's not like you."
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"It's about time I proved to you that I really am your friend. Maybe... if I prove to you that I trust you... you'll trust me enough to tell me when something like this comes up."
It's all I can say to explain my reasoning. If we're friends then we might as well act like it. I think maybe that last time we really fought, the time he dragged me home, I got over myself a little and decided that maybe, just maybe, having a few ties here and there wouldn't be so bad. I don't have to kill any one. Itachi is a lying bastard and I'll gather the power and strength some other way.
-----------****-----------
"Trust is a dangerous word," I murmur, still looking out at the village rather than him. Right now I don't trust anything or anyone. Not even myself. Besides, "If I tell you, you'll just hate me like everyone else." I point my chin in the direction of the noise that is the festival.
Friend can be a dangerous word too. A friend is someone you can go to when you need help or comfort, someone that you can talk to about anything, someone you can bare your soul to... someone who has the power to tear your heart out and give it back in shreds. I have many close companions and acquaintances, but the only friend I have... is sitting right next to me. And he has tried to kill me. I refused to give up on him and I dragged him home, but the trust I used to have in him is cracked now.
He says he wants to prove that he's my friend. But if he was my friend, he'd leave me alone like I asked him to. ...But he did threaten the fox for me... Would he have done that if he wasn't my friend?
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"I already know most of it, dobe. The fox has been distracting you a lot lately. Your eyes... Your pupils actually... are a dead give away. I know something is wrong. And with the mission coming up I want to know what, for the safety of my best friend and the rest of our team and for the success of the mission."
There. That was as upfront as I think I'll ever get. Maybe he'll open up to me just a little bit now... I can only hope really. I've burned him on rare occasions, but never as much as everyone else. Why I'm so concerned with him opening up I guess I can't say. It's just that he's always been someone who interested me. From just out of toddler stage right up to the last real fight we've had. It's not like I thought about him all the time. No, in my head there's really only room for the occasional thought about a teammate or other person. Most of my brain cells have always been taken up with thoughts of Itachi. Killing him, beating the shit out of him and then killing him, making him suffer the way he made the Clan suffer. Bastard Itachi....
-----------****-----------
I turn my head completely away from him. I don't want to be reminded about my damn eyes. We sit in silence for a long time as I debate whether to talk to him. It's his quiet patience that makes me give in, but still I don't look at him. I don't want to see his reaction - the hate and fear I know he's going to feel.
"The fox... talks to me," I whisper, hoping he can't hear me. "Well, more like he has to comment on my every thought. I have no privacy at all. And it's getting easier for it to come to the surface every time I use it's power." My eyes changed because I have to tap on the demon's power so much right now that they just got... stuck like that. We are still at war with the Village of the Sound, and my team is often called to battle.
My eyes are why I stopped looking in the mirror. I'm... afraid. Afraid to see if more than just my eyes has changed. Sometimes it feels like I'm slowly fading, only to have the demon take control of my body. Damn parasite.
-----------****-----------
He actually sounds.... upset. He doesn't realize it, I think, but I would almost call it afraid. I'm not sure what to do... but I have a small idea. It was something my mother used to do for me when I was little and I cried, before I decided to be like Itachi, before I even cared much about being a ninja. I put a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeeze a little, the echo of my mother's actions resounding in my mind as I repeat them. "Let's go home... I promise everything will look better in the morning."
I hope he doesn't fight me. I never fought my mother when she offered me these words.
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Now I face him, giving him a weird look. Did he just say what I think he said? Deciding it doesn't really matter, I sigh and stand up. "Fine, whatever. Matta ne." I start heading down the cliff face, jumping from outcropping to outcropping like a mountain goat, heading towards the part of town where my apartment building is. I take the high road, not feeling like pushing through the crowds clogging the streets as families go home so their kids can go to sleep by bedtime.
-----------****-----------
I catch his arm at a place where it would be appropriate to turn for my place. I hadn't meant separately. I thought that it would be clear... whatever. Nothing is ever clear with Naruto unless it involves ramen or fighting. "Naruto. It's this way..." I say and look in the direction of my apartment. I hope he didn't think I was brushing him off. That's the last thing I'd think of doing right now. Besides... I don't feel like going to back to an empty apartment. I've been doing that for... way too long. Seeking a little companionship in your teammate seems pretty normal. So maybe I'm more normal than I thought. I don't know when I started to wonder about or notice these things, but I sure as hell can't seem to stop, so I've stopped trying.
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What in the world...? Didn't he suggest going home? "No... that's the way to your place," I say slowly, as if to a small child that's having trouble understanding a concept. "My place is this way. I'll see you tomorrow." I shake my arm free of his grip.
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"When I said home I meant together. I'm not exactly dressed for the outdoors in the middle of the night... I didn't think that we were done talking..."
Do I sound like I'm hunting for his company? I want it... but I don't want him to get the wrong idea... though what the wrong idea is... I'm not even really sure.
-----------****-----------
Okay, this is definitely not normal behavior for him. He's not supposed to seek another person's company, let alone mine! That's not like him at all! I put my hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever... Are you sick?"
-----------****-----------
"I'm not sick, Usurakontachi.... I'm� " I pause fishing for the right words. Finally I settle on, "concerned." I want to know everything he wants to tell me about what it's like to have a real demon inside and not just the kind that haunts my nightmares. The reasons I want to know? Well, the only thing I can come up with is if I'm going to fight beside it, then I need to know a little bit about it. I already know I won't be telling anyone anything about this. It's no one�s business but his... and mine if he chooses to tell me. I'm worried that he's headed for a fall. The only person that really means anything to me. Kakashi means something to me, but I'm uncertain as to whether he really cares about me or not. I wish he'd show some sort of sign of it... but then... I'm glad he isn't Gai. I would have to kill him.
-----------****-----------
Silence, and then, "Yep, you're sick." He must have some strange bug or something. That's the only explanation I can think of for him being so nice to me. Not that it isn't a nice change, it's just... weird. Not Gai "oh my god, get away from me you strange weirdo" weird, but "I think someone rearranged your brain cells" weird.
I guess I might as well humor him, seeing how nice he's been to me all night. I dash towards his place, throwing a challenging look over my shoulder. Time to see who's faster when jumping from roof to roof. ...Oh wait. Dammit, he's gonna win again 'cause he's copied Lee's super speed. Of course I remember that now, after I've already started the little competition.
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I reach my apartment door and am inside before him, of course. Then I wait while he slows and walks past me scowling. The idiot should have known that I would win. I always do... In things like this anyway. I close and lock the door behind him and then turn to face him. "Have a seat," I tell him. "We weren't done talking."
I can't explain this desire to know more. I guess you could say it's gradually been building from day one of Team Seven. He's an interesting, if loud and obnoxious, guy far different from myself with so much less and yet so much more at the same time. I want to... dissect him, emotionally and learn the secrets of his strength... even though that strength is starting to fade. Maybe, in my search, I can find a way to build it back up again.
"Tell me," I say once we're both seated. "I.... want to help...."
-----------****-----------
"No you don't," I reply softly, staring at a random spot on the wall across from me. He can't help me. No one can. And the demon is my problem, not his. I don't want anyone's help... because it'll only cause more complications. I can handle the damn fox on my own. (Can't you leave me alone for even one night?! ... As if, you hentai.)
Besides, if anyone does get involved with my problems concerning the fox they'll only learn to hate me. If anyone found out just how much the fox and I are becoming alike... how easy it is to bring him to the surface... how I'm slowly going insane from having a second voice in my mind... No, I can't let anyone find out. Not even him... because I want him to hate me the least of all.
-----------****-----------
"How the hell do you know what I want, Usurakontachi? Did you ever stop to think that maybe you really are worth someone's complete and undivided attention? I know you never had a family before, but Sakura, Kakashi and I are doing the best we can for you and with you. I'm trying to help you. I want to help you. Stop being an idiot and give us a chance to help. Then we'll decide if we can or we can't... but for right now... it's just me. And anything you tell me stays here, between the two of us..."
It's a bit snippish, but that's just how it is between us most of the time. I'm just hoping he doesn't get really stupid. I don't want to have to beat some common sense into him tonight but I will if I have to.
-----------****-----------
I slouch in my seat and turn away from him slightly. If it takes making him mad to get him to leave me alone, I will. I just don't want him to hate me because of the demon like everyone else does. Like he should.
"Well, maybe I don't want your help," I mutter, refusing to get all worked up about this and still not looking at him. That will make him angrier faster than if I started yelling at him. I hope he kicks me out soon so I can go home. I don't want to tell him anything. I'm not going to tell him anything.
-----------****-----------
"Well, maybe that's just too damn bad. We're a team, a unit, a family... whether you want my help or not, you're stuck with it."
For some reason I feel like I have to get him to talk. It's sort of like I can sense that he's at some sort of breaking point, on the brink of exploding from the pressure inside of him... even if I'm not entirely sure that is the problem I'm going to pursue this anyway. I must not be thinking very clearly tonight. I can't be with the way I've been acting...
-----------****-----------
"Yeah... a dysfunctional family." I stand up, having had enough of this. I'm leaving whether he likes it or not. I am not going to put up with this. My business is mine alone and he has no right trying to drag it out of me. "Ja... don't forget to take your meds. You're scary when you haven't had them," I taunt as I turn towards the door.
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I'm between him and the door again before he can take a step and I simply stand there. After a long moment of him glaring menacing at me and me staring coolly back at him I reach out and put a hand on his shoulder. "Alright..." I murmur. "You aren't ready. Fine. I won't push you any more for now... just... stay here, dobe." I order him and then I step out of his path releasing his shoulder. "You can borrow some of my clothes so you won't have to sleep in your yukata... and there's only one bed... but it's big enough for six and has at least two pillows per person of capacity."
I'm rambling... but I can't seem to care. At least maybe if I'm talking he won't outright turn his back and leave. I don't think I'd take that very well... not at all.
-----------****-----------
I groan and scowl a bit. I want to go home, dammit! "Aren't we a little old to play slumber party?" I grumble, crossing my arms and turning around to face him, but not making any moves to follow him. (Did somebody beat you with a horny stick when I wasn't paying attention or something?!) If he tries again to get me to tell him anything I'm leaving.
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"It's not a slumber party, dobe," I mutter as I head towards my room and then add, "Get your ass in here."
He's getting on my last nerve with his stubbornness... but I've still got one tactic up my sleeve. My mother would do this to me whenever I was really, really upset over anything. Usually it was Itachi, but now... I need to think about Naruto and worry about killing that bastard later. I wouldn't get that big of a job done tonight so therefore, I should focus on the more immediate problems.
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Annoyed at him for ordering me around I sit back down on the couch and lay down, tucking my arm under my head as a pillow and shutting my eyes. Hey, I'm staying here like he wants me to. But I am not going to sleep in the same bed with him, no matter how big it is. The idea of that is just too weird, especially when I've never shared a bed with anyone before in my whole life. Well... not another human anyway. Some of the families I stayed with as a toddler had dogs and I sometimes would coax them into my bed so I could have something warm and breathing to sleep with. (What's wrong with dogs? ... You're just biased, ahou.)
Geez, even this couch is more comfortable than my bed back in my apartment. Lucky SOB... I wish I had a couch half this nice, but no. I got stuck with a second-hand falling apart mess of compressed fluff and broken springs because that's all the furniture store would sell me. They way overpriced me too, the bastards.
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I appear in the doorway again and growl. "Don't make me drag your sorry ass in here..." I still don't know, I can't even begin to fathom, why I'm behaving like this. It's not completely all of a sudden, but I think something snapped inside of me today... with that mob mess.
-----------****-----------
"You do that and I'll hand you your ass," I shoot back, not moving or even opening my eyes. What the hell is his problem? He's lucky I'm even staying in his place period tonight. Besides, I'm comfortable.
-----------****-----------
"Just humor me for once you stupid ass," I snap and then turn back into my room. Fine... if he wants to be a total stubborn dead last moron of all morons! "Whatever, forget I said it! Take the couch. I'll just enjoy the plush mattress and soft sheets and all six pillows by myself.... It's not any different than any normal night."
Maybe that will get him... stubborn asshole.
-----------****-----------
...Dammit. I hate him. I really, really hate him. Muttering hot curses under my breath, I get off the couch after a long moment and stalk into his bedroom... which just happens to be the size of my living room. Damn him. Does he get some sick pleasure from flaunting how much better off he is compared to me or something? Scowling, I stomp up to the side of the bed and glare at him. "Move," I snarl. There is no way that I'm gonna climb over him to get to the other side of the bed.
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Smirking, though I know he can't see it, I move and make room for him in the bed, but I roll to face him and plant a hand in the middle of the space I made for him. "There are boxers and tank tops, mesh shirts and sleeping pants in the top left drawer of my dresser. Take that thing off. It's filthy," I order. And I'm right. After his tussle today that yukata looks worse than terrible.
-----------****-----------
As if I'm gonna take an order from him! ...But he has a point. Not that I would want to sleep in a dirty, bloody yukata anyway. I take off the robe and drop it on the floor, not caring if his carpet gets dirty. He can get it cleaned later. Just in my boxers - there is no way I'm wearing any of his clothes! - I slip under the covers and curl on my side, my back to him. I'm only a couple inches from falling off the bed but I want to stay as far away from him as possible. (You do that, fox, and I will rip your tails off!!) Reaching behind me, I snatch one of the pillows for my head and a couple others to rest against my back as a barrier. He better not toss in his sleep.
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I watch him barricade himself up with some of my pillows and only smirk a little about it. Oh well... at least I've made progress. When he's asleep his subconscious mind might start to reveal more than his conscious mind might ever think to... and that's when my chance might come. My mother never had to be this sneaky with me, but then, as a small child my mother was the only one in the world who could keep me completely happy most of the time.
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Every night I fall asleep arguing with the demon... and apparently tonight we're not going to take a break from our "ritual". My hands clench the sheet as the demon makes his usual biting remarks. ...Tonight its insults hurt a little more than usual. (Shut up, bastard. That mess was all your fault and you know it. ... She was a bitch! I didn't do anything to deserve that! ... I'm not the freak, you're the freak! ... You're certainly not a pleasure to live with either!! ... SHUT UP!!!! ...) "You take that back, you damn overgrown rat!!" I hiss quietly, forgetting there's someone else there as I slowly fall into my usual restless sleep. "At least my parents weren't a rabbit and an alley cat!!"
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I start. (What?!) And then it dawns on me... Kyuubi no Kitsune must really be hassling him. I can tell he's asleep just by looking at him. Naruto doesn't look comfortable, however, and I freeze indecisively as I listen to the mumblings of a boy who's taken so much abuse from so many different sources. I hesitate... unsure...
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I grind my teeth as the demon makes a particularly nasty comment. "I... am... NOT!!!!" I hiss, not noticing as the sheets rip when my grip gets too tight for the cloth to stand. In my dream I am standing in front of the cage, glaring with all my might at the giant fox. It glares back, its fangs glittering in the faint light of the room as it grins evilly at me. "At least I have more than one brain cell!! ... Stop calling me that!!! ... I said STOP IT!!!!!"
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That's it. That's enough. I can't just leave it alone any longer. Naruto's in pain and although that's exactly what he can be sometimes, he doesn't deserve to face torment EVERYWHERE he turns. Not even his own mind is sanctuary. I tug the pillows out of the way of his back and slide up behind him smoothly enough that he doesn't feel me coming until I've got one arm wrapped around his waist while the other is folded parallel to the mattress between his body and mine. I rest my cheek on his temple and hold him tightly, my mother's words coming back to me as I murmur them aloud to him, "Sh... Naruto. I'm here." I don't think he heard me over the banter of that damn fox. What a truly problematic creature Kyuubi no Kitsune is. Fine. I turn my head a little bit so that my bangs spill over Naruto's throat. Into his ear I mutter, "Damn, shitty fox!" I hiss. "I know you can hear me... leave him alone right now... or I'll do things to you that you can't ever begin to imagine... that pain will be so intense you'll feel like being sealed is a blessing..."
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Warm... I suddenly feel warm and the demon's cage fades, leaving behind darkness. Quiet, comforting darkness. A voice drifts by me like a comet, peppering the blackness with a string of tiny bright stars that surrounds me. I don't quite recognize it and I can't make out the words, but the tone is one of support and I let myself fall into its embrace. Slowly, very slowly, all the tenseness melts from my body and I slip into a deeper, restful sleep.
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That's what I thought. Damn fox. I'm satisfied with the suddenly relaxed state of Naruto�s body and so I settle in for a full night's sleep. I always felt better waking up with my mother there to smile down at me lovingly. I just hope I'm at the very least a fair enough substitute for a mother's support for him.
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*The Next Morning*
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I scrunch my face as the sun assaults my eyes. That's weird... my room is on the west side of the apartment building. The sun shouldn't be in my eyes. And... why am I so warm? Why is there- OMIGOD!! I jump away from the person laying against my back (why is there someone else in my bed?!?!) and fall to the floor when my legs get tangled in the sheets. "Itai..." I groan, holding my head. ...Wait a sec. Carpet?! Since when do I have carpet in my bedroom?! I look around, completely bewildered. My eyes fall on a pale arm that is now hanging over the edge of the bed and last night comes back to me in a flash. "SA-SU-KE!!!!" I yell, jumping to my feet. What in hell was he doing cuddled up to me?!?!?!
My yell doesn't even have any effect on him!! The bastard!! I grab a pillow and bring it down hard on his head. "Wake up, jackass!!!" But all he does is sit up slowly, give me a blank stare, and then turn to fall back into his mass of pillows.
Growling, I yank the covers and pillows away from him, yelling insults and curses at him until he wakes up.
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All the commotion drags me slowly from sleep. I swear I suffer from low blood sugar every damn morning. I sit up groggily and stare vacantly at the overactive person fuming beside my bed. Everything seems kinda distant, and it all sways as though my balance were rocking me back to sleep. I can hear him, but it sounds muffled and equally distant. Unable to actually decipher his words... I simply roll my eyes back into my head as I turn back to my warm bed and throw my face and body back into the mattress with a groan and a grunt. "Bastard... shut your mouth..."
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Oh-o-o-o-o... That's it. That is it. I stalk over to his kitchen and fill a cup with cold tap water, returning to dump it over his head. If that doesn't wake him up nothing will. And I want an explanation, dammit!!
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I start and shiver sitting up with this stiffly surprised feeling to my face. I don't even want to know how wide my eyes are or how shocked my expression is. How embarrassing. I look to Naruto and blink a few times. "What?" I manage around chattering teeth. What the hell is his problem, damn it!?
"What the hell were you doing curled up right next to me?!?!" he growls, glaring at me.
What the hell is he talking about? He's over there... I'm over here.... I'm nowhere near him. Groaning a little as a wave of lethargy steals over me, I slowly lower myself to the mattress again. So it's wet. So what. I never feel very well in the morning. Never. I finally answer him though, once the world stops pressing in on my tired brain.
"Last night... You were fighting with the Kyuubi... talking in your sleep and you were thrashing a little.... It was something my mother used to do for me when I was upset. It worked..." I rub my eyes and toss my head a little on my soggy pillow. I really don't like mornings. I have to get up hours earlier than most people to make it to missions on time. I'm not sure why I'm like this. It was never this bad in the beginning. Sometimes, I have this fear that it's that damn Curse Seal, sucking my energy while I'm sleeping, or doing something equally terrifying. Sometimes I even have trouble orienting myself again. I forget who I am, where I am, why I am... everything. I hate mornings like that... I hate mornings like this too but not nearly as much. I'm never sure how long it takes me to re-orient myself... but I have this terrible fear that it takes longer each time. I shiver at the thought and drop my hand from my eyes to the damned seal on my shoulder. I could really hate myself for letting that happen. I'm afraid of what I might do... while I'm unable to remember myself or my purpose, that I might forget the whole reason I live is what scares me most of all. Occasionally, I harbor thoughts about suicide... though I've never acted on them. I'm worried that one of these mornings I'm not going to wake up... but my body will... and I am absolutely terrified at what it might decide or be ordered to do.... My hand squeezes, pressing in on the seal. It still hurts a little when pressed, like the fang marks are still moderately fresh and I wince like I always do. A little pain is what tells me I'm still here and still me. I think I forgot about something... or maybe... someone?
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I pause, arm above my head in preparation to throw the glass at him. There's... something wrong with him. Has he... forgotten I'm here? He never used to take this long to wake up... My anger melts away as I watch him worriedly and my arm slowly drops. I reach over and take his hand away from his neck, hissing at what I see. The Curse Seal is pulsing faintly. "Sasuke... Oi, Sasuke," I call and shake him a bit, trying to bring out of his stupor. This is bad... really bad. Chills run down my spine as I watch the Cruse Seal begin to spread slowly. Dammit! "Sasuke! Anyone in there?!" I pinch his nose. That ought to get his attention.
-----------****-----------
I turn my eyes to the sound, surprised in some distant part of myself that something that loud could get forgotten. Not something, someone. I stare and blink at him. Blond hair, beautiful blue eyes.... He looks worried.... Hn, I wonder what about. I reach up and touch the striped cheek... whiskers. Oh, this is Naruto. "Naruto," I murmur, but I can't think of anything else to say. Anyone in where?
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"Yeah... I'm Naruto," I say slowly, as if I'm talking to a three-year-old. Wow, he is really out of it. If I hadn't been with him for most of last night I would swear he was drunk or something. Dammit, the Curse Seal is still pulsing slightly.
The fingers on my cheek are making my stomach feel funny. It's not unpleasant, but it's really strange. Deciding to ignore it in favor of getting him to wake up, I grab his wrist and chomp down on his hand just enough to make it really hurt.
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A moment of pain and then I explode hitting him in the forehead with my fist. "Kuso dobe!! What the hell was that for?!"
It's all I can shout and that's exactly how I feel! Where the hell does he get off sinking his teeth into my hand!? Stupid Naruto. Damn him that hurt! All I can feel right now is rage. My hand is throbbing and my shoulder aches vaguely, but that's not really registering so much as the anger and the sting of my hand. I know I should think about that ache more than I am but at the moment no one said I was sensible.
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"So you are alive. I was beginning to wonder," I shoot back with a scowl, clutching at my abused head. Bastard. ...Ohhhh shit. The Curse Seal is spreading. I can just see it on the top of his shoulder and the side of his neck. Time to calm him down... definitely time to calm him down before he kills the both of us. I really do not want a repeat of the last time he went Second Stage on me. Actually, I don't want anything close to a repeat of that.
"Now that you're awake... breakfast?" I ask, forcing a grin and hoping he doesn't get more annoyed. "I don't know where anything is in your kitchen."
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I stare at him for several long moments... and then I have to wonder why I was mad in the first place. Slowly I slip out of bed and stretch a little, popping my joints in some places. I look at him then. "Yeah... this way," I murmur and then I head right for said kitchen. My fridge's options are not plentiful. In fact, it's downright pitiful as far as selection. However, I manage to make something that pleases him. I'm guessing however that this is the first time he's eaten something other than ramen for breakfast in a very, very long time.
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Omelets!! I haven't had omelets in for-ev-er!! "Itadakimasu!" I crow happily before digging in and devouring six omelets in five minutes. After downing a few glasses of juice, I go back to his room and pull on my yukata, ignoring the dirt on the carpet that is in the exact shape of the pile my yukata had been in. Passing by the kitchen door, I can see his back and quietly sigh in relief when I see that the Curse Seal has gone back to sleep, so to speak. "See you later. Thanks for the food," I say as I head for the door. (You're up early. ... So I'm noisy. Shouldn't you be used to that by now? You've been living in my head for only eighteen years after all. ... Hate you too. Go back to sleep.)
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"Eating and running again, dobe? Didn't you learn last night that that's considered rude..."
I figure the least he can do is hang out for a bit. Wow, things are weird suddenly. I'm actually trying - in my own way - to get him to stick around so that I won't be... lonely. I guess that isn't that unusual. We've gotten along fairly well these last few years and I've given up on trying to be a loner. It seems that matter how hard I try to isolate myself, everyone gravitates to me anyway. The fangirls are an example, though they really don't count too much. Naruto and Kakashi - though Kakashi didn't really have a choice in the beginning, he still taught me Chidori. Naruto... he's the one that should hate me the most, for the way that I've treated him from day one. Hell, even though I cherish him as a friend I tried to kill him. And yet here he is, eating breakfast in my home, after we slept in the same bed... The world can be so strange at times. It really really can.
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I calmly present him with my middle finger to show him just how rude I can be. "We have training in an hour, remember? I am not training in a dirty yukata, and don't bother to offer me your clothes. They wouldn't fit me anyway, you string bean. I said I'll see you later so I'll see you later. Ja."
Now that I've had a full night of sleep and we've managed to be civil for a while, I guess I don't mind trying to get along with him.
-----------****-----------
I shrug a little. "Fine," I mutter and go back to polishing off my plate of omelet. He has a point about not practicing like he is. I wouldn't want to practice like that either. So, I won't fight him about going home to change.
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On pure impulse I come up behind him and ruffle his hair until it's all standing on end. Haha, he looks really funny like that. Grinning I leave, headed for my own apartment and a shower. I know there's crusted blood on me in a couple places from the ambush last night and I want to be clean before getting myself even more dirty while training. And I will get dirty, especially if he and I get into an argument. Or if Sakura decides to pound me again. (Can I not think anything without you turning it dirty?!)
Once I'm clean and wearing my usual outfit of black t-shirt and orange pants - which are just a little short on me; the jacket I grew out of a couple years ago and I haven't gotten around to making a new one - I head back to his place so we can walk to the training field together. He was really nice to me last night, even if he was a major bastard at the same time, and I guess it won't hurt to be a little nice back. "Oi, Sasuke! You ready yet?" I call as I walk into his apartment without bothering to knock.
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I poke my head out around the open doorframe of my bathroom and pause in brushing my teeth. I'm naked to the waist since my shirt is strewn over the back of a kitchen chair. I'm so glad I reverted back to the white shorts and blue shirt. It amazes me that he came back, so much so that I know I'm just staring blankly at him with my hand on the toothbrush in my mouth that's no longer moving.
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"That's not going to do your teeth any good if it's not moving," I tease with a smirk, amused by the look of surprise on his face. "Want me to do it for you, chibi-kun?" I say sweetly, fox-grinning at him. It's so much fun to rub the fact that I'm taller than him now in his face. For most of our lives he was taller - until last year, actually. But then I hit my growth spurt and shot up above him, and he finished growing before I did so nyah.
-----------****-----------
My brows lower and I narrow my eyes glowering for a good long moment before retreating into the bathroom to finish what I had started. When I finally emerge I'm ready but for my shirt and sandals, and I snag my shirt off the back of the chair on the way to get my footwear. I stretch into the shirt, feeling muscles tense and relax and then I start sliding my shoes on. I can't get mad at him right now... I hate that he just called me chibi-kun, but he did wind up taller than me. As much as I dislike that fact.
-----------****-----------
I just chuckle as he glares and then proceeds to act as if I'm not here. As he pulls on his sandals I give his hair a good ruffle, grinning as his rooster-tail rises a bit. It is soooooooooo much fun to get a rise out of him. "C'mon, chicken butt. Time to get your ass kicked."
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"Usurakontachi," I growl and swat him in the back of the head, hating the fact that I have to reach up to do so. I can feel the back of my hair standing up a little, since I'm kind of miffed at Fate at the moment.
--------------
My grin just gets bigger and I lead the way to the training field, shooting any and every insult at him that I can think of. He keeps calling me a moron and hitting the back of my head, but I just keep grinning and making fun of him.
(What? Where? ... Oh. Yeah, I see them.) Out of the corner of my eye I see her - the bitch that caused all the trouble last night and her friends, glaring at us. Well, glaring at me. I feel strangely satisfied at the miffed look on her face since I'm walking with him and he clearly isn't trying to get me to go away. I just look away as if they aren't there, making it clear to them that they even aren't worth the effort to glare back. Their angry mutters make it to my sensitive ears and I do my best not to twitch or show any other reaction. The fox is growling at them, but otherwise he stays silent. Probably plotting ways to kill them later. My grin is feeling a little forced now, but I just ignore them and concentrate on seeing how high I can get his hair to stand up.
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I keep up the side of being the miffed and pissy teammate, even though I know that he's not really in the same good mood he was moments before. Damn them. They just don't see what I guess I see. Of course they've never been beat around by him and saved by him and teased by him as if they were his best friend. I catch the back of his shirt and pull him to a stop, suddenly. It looks like I've had enough of the frolic and I'm ready to stop. Which is exactly what I want them to think. When he does slow down I reach down and catch up his hand knowing that those bastards from before can see us clearly. I lean up, still cursing Fate for this unfair height difference and murmur, "Just play along like before..." on the way to giving him a peck on the cheek. He did it for me so it's only fair that I return the favor.
-----------****-----------
I give his hand an understanding squeeze and tilt my head into the peck before turning my face to press a light kiss just under his eye. Of course the demon has to start making lewd comments as his scent floods my nose, but I just ignore it - and the jitters in my stomach. To get rid of the strange feeling I move my lips down to the base of his jaw... and blow the loudest raspberry I can manage before letting go of his hand and running towards the training field, laughing.
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Why that little bastard! I snarl after the startled look leaves my face and charge after him a murderous look on my face. Oh, well.... mission accomplished anyway. We reach the training field finally and I pounce on him just as we get in view of Sakura and Kakashi. He's going to pay for that! Of course, we beat the crap out of each other for a long period of time before we finally come to a semi-truce. Enough that Kakashi can kind of get a word in, between punches and insults.
--------------
Kakashi just sighed as he watched two of his students pound each other. He had a feeling he really didn't want to know what had happened this time, especially with some of the insults they were throwing at each other.
At a pause in their spar he walked over and put a hand on each of their shoulders before they could start up again. "If you two are done being toddlers...?" he asked them pointedly. He really wasn't in the mood to put up with their feuds today. All morning he'd been getting complaints from over-protective parents that their precious children - who weren't really children anymore but he'd decided to not point that out - had been beaten up by his students. Though why Sasuke and Naruto would want to team up against some twenty odd Chuunin and Genin was beyond him. Normally they kept their beatings to each other, and if they used the excuse that they were practicing their teamwork... "Would one of you like to explain to me what happened last night...?" He raised an eyebrow at Sasuke. "Chidori?"
He wondered at Naruto's sudden stiffness and clenched jaw. (Oh boy...) The blond shrugged Kakashi's hand off his shoulder and walked away. Not far away, but far enough to make it obvious that he didn't want to talk.
-----------
I sigh and relax from my battle ready stance. I figured it would all get back to Kakashi eventually anyway. Well, explaining it doesn't seem to be something Naruto wants to do so I guess I will. I watch Naruto retreat a little ways and then turn to Kakashi and begin. "Naruto and I were at the festival when a girl asked him to go with her. Even I thought she was genuine, until I heard some boys behind me laughing about what they had planned to do. By the time I got there everything had already begun. They ambushed him. It was well-planned. I might not have been able to do much better in his position. They knocked his balance off and kept him like that, not hard to do when it's twenty-seven against one. There was no other way to get their attention from him so I used Chidori to get their attention and then as a warning. There's a hole in the street where it happened now."
Finished, I look from Kakashi to Naruto to Sakura and then back to Kakashi. It's not that I really care what Kakashi or Sakura thinks, but I still feel the need to check on Naruto and to do that I cover it with a glance at all of them.
---------------
The Jounin sighed and glanced at the blond's back. It saddened him that as Naruto got older the village treated him worse, even though he didn't pull pranks half as often anymore, nor was he as loud as he used to be. It seemed that the general consensus was since Naruto couldn't use the "excuse" of childhood innocence anymore, he was more likely to be seen as the demon instead of the demon-holder. Knowing that Naruto would probably leave if Kakashi tried to talk to him about it, he just looked back to Sasuke and said softly so that only his apprentice could hear, "Alright. You go back to cheering him up while I try and get Sakura to actually train instead of watching you like a love-sick cow." Without waiting for an answer he turned around and began talking to Sakura.
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(When I want your opinion I'll ask for it, damn fox.) I growl quietly as my parasite taunts me, knowing all the weak spots in my armor where it hurts the most. I know he's telling Kakashi-sensei what happened last night and I don't want to hear him, so I ignore my team and focus on getting the demon to leave me alone for a while.
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"Naruto..." I state from right next to his shoulder. He hadn't even heard me come up. That's unusual. "Kakashi told us to spar some more."
I figure that's all I really have to say. It's usually enough to get him into fight mode. Though he looks really depressed at the moment... angry, but beneath it is definitely depression. I want to lighten that look for some reason, and without thinking I reach up and pinch his nose. That ought to rile him.
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I give him a solid whump right on the top of his head after pulling my nose out of his grip. Bastard.
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Kakashi just rolled his eyes as the boys started beating the ever-living crap out of each other again. Sometimes it was hard to think of them being eighteen years old when they acted like kindergarteners around each other so often. It was as if their maturity level dropped a good six or seven notches whenever they got into insulting range.
Shaking his head at them, he returned his attention to Sakura, trying to tear her eyes away from the source of her rabidness. She was a sweet girl... until she saw Sasuke. After that... yeah. Rabid. So things were as they always were... which, was just as they should be.
TBC...
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Reflections (Abandoned WIP)