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October 29, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Wooww! this is one seriously dark strange twisted beautiful fic, It's freaking scary!
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September 28, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Ah, thankies for the heads up. I didn't think there was much different about the chapter on FFN. ^^;;; |Eagle-chan is an idiot.| Well ... not much I can say to that, is there? Eheh ... ^^; Yes, I liked the ending for this very much. >3 Bwahaha. It was a little confusing who was doing what (at least at first), but I'm sure it was supposed to be that way. I really love your writing style, gelfling-san. It's very abstract, I guess is the word I want, but it gets the feeling of things across very clearly. ^^ I applaud this very wonderful addition to the SasuNaru section of the Naruto fandom!! Jaa ne!
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September 27, 2003 at 12:00 AM
WAI~
When did you put this up....umm, I mean (duh) god I didn't even CLICK that you'd written another part to two. Sorry, I've been out of sorts lately....Don't get stuff good, jah know?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! You did this for me? You did this for ME??!! I swear, this is the best present I ever got (yes I'm calling it my present - nyah nyah to everyone else, Gelfling is mine for the glomping! ;)
And....whoa....as always your reign over the metaphorical descriptive world amazes me. Halfway through I had to leave the room and go for a quick walk! This is just the way slash should be - no fluffiness, no buying each other chocolates and batting bishounen eyelashes at each other...SEX! Sex sex sex sex! Raw, uncensored, carnal, gutteral glory. Need, want, desire, huffing, puffing, licking, biting, cumming - it's all there, and it's so good. And what's even better is that it's with the two young boys we've grown to love so much who have matured in ways only the most fucked up, tortured children can - too fast, too hazy. Their pasts being only a checkerboard of events, a patchwork of happenings - threadbare of love.
You use you language, not the characters actions to tone it down a little, make it even more readable - which, in my opinion is a fantastic trick. We don't have cutesy, sugarplum Naruto giggling in a preppie-like manner as he shyly pecks handsome, ken doll Sasukes cheek while a large red censored sign covers the place where WE know he's really fiddling between Sasuke's legs. No. We have lines like:
"Sasuke started coversing in broken inflanglangauge of gasps and grunts and groans, swearing loudly in his mind and squirming like an infant or newborn kitten in his lap begging to be fed begging for attentiwhimwhimpering loud and moaning hard when Naruto brushed his lips against the side of it, not even kissing it and rubbed his cheekbone in strangled strokes becuase Sasuke was pushing his head down hard and it was a lot of work to keep the jerk from getting his way again."
Oh yes, call him a jerk, Naruto....Do it again!
Broken infant language - wonderful!
To keep us going. Still lusty, still almost porn but with a sensitive, educated, graceful throw that entwines the bridge between 'making wuv' and 'fucking'.
I'm SO impressed.
And my icecream has melted. Although, with the imagery, it'll be much more fun to eat....
SORRY!!! I'll go away now....(I joke I joke)
When did you put this up....umm, I mean (duh) god I didn't even CLICK that you'd written another part to two. Sorry, I've been out of sorts lately....Don't get stuff good, jah know?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! You did this for me? You did this for ME??!! I swear, this is the best present I ever got (yes I'm calling it my present - nyah nyah to everyone else, Gelfling is mine for the glomping! ;)
And....whoa....as always your reign over the metaphorical descriptive world amazes me. Halfway through I had to leave the room and go for a quick walk! This is just the way slash should be - no fluffiness, no buying each other chocolates and batting bishounen eyelashes at each other...SEX! Sex sex sex sex! Raw, uncensored, carnal, gutteral glory. Need, want, desire, huffing, puffing, licking, biting, cumming - it's all there, and it's so good. And what's even better is that it's with the two young boys we've grown to love so much who have matured in ways only the most fucked up, tortured children can - too fast, too hazy. Their pasts being only a checkerboard of events, a patchwork of happenings - threadbare of love.
You use you language, not the characters actions to tone it down a little, make it even more readable - which, in my opinion is a fantastic trick. We don't have cutesy, sugarplum Naruto giggling in a preppie-like manner as he shyly pecks handsome, ken doll Sasukes cheek while a large red censored sign covers the place where WE know he's really fiddling between Sasuke's legs. No. We have lines like:
"Sasuke started coversing in broken inflanglangauge of gasps and grunts and groans, swearing loudly in his mind and squirming like an infant or newborn kitten in his lap begging to be fed begging for attentiwhimwhimpering loud and moaning hard when Naruto brushed his lips against the side of it, not even kissing it and rubbed his cheekbone in strangled strokes becuase Sasuke was pushing his head down hard and it was a lot of work to keep the jerk from getting his way again."
Oh yes, call him a jerk, Naruto....Do it again!
Broken infant language - wonderful!
To keep us going. Still lusty, still almost porn but with a sensitive, educated, graceful throw that entwines the bridge between 'making wuv' and 'fucking'.
I'm SO impressed.
And my icecream has melted. Although, with the imagery, it'll be much more fun to eat....
SORRY!!! I'll go away now....(I joke I joke)
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September 25, 2003 at 12:00 AM
The way Naruto and Gaara interact in this fic.. *purr* It's just too wonderful for words. I love both Naruto/Sasuke and Naruto/Gaara pairings. I'm addicted to your writing.
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September 25, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Ugh. I've so been waiting for a more Gaara-centric chapter. But I have to wonder...chapter 6 was short from the version on ff.net...oh, I'll have to check it against the chapter 7 I so didn't see on ff.net. I love this story so much that I read it twice, just to see the differences. I have to say, I find your style of writing very comforting and almost more logical that traditional style writing. It's much easier to figure out what the character is feeling, and the feeling is just that much more intense. Some instances, it's a little hard to plsnipsnippets into context of the story, and I can't tell if its a memory, actually happening, or what, but that's about the only problem I can see with it.
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September 25, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Oh, and why does it sound like Sasuke is getting Incepted?
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September 24, 2003 at 12:00 AM
[jumps happily] update update update! ^__^;;
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September 23, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Okay...so it's dark. And twisted. And mildly distrubing in parts. And I normally stay far far away from all those things in a fic, but...well, damnit, I adore this fic. I love the way you portray the characters, you really seem to get into their heads. Which is good thing. I have to say that for fic that take such a turn from the cannon, the characterization is excellent. I will admit I do get confused over things now and again. Particularlly the entire bit with Gaara and Sasuke breaking out of prison, and I find I have to go back and re-read parts to understand them. However, overall this is a wonderful fic which I throughly enjoy and look forward to more of it.
And if this is coming from the queen of fluffy bunny and happy endings land about a dark fic, then you know you've got a damned good piece of writing on your hands. ^_^
And if this is coming from the queen of fluffy bunny and happy endings land about a dark fic, then you know you've got a damned good piece of writing on your hands. ^_^
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September 13, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Naruke: wow...thats good...
Shikamaru: very confusing...but then again, aood ood stories are confusing! :P
Shikamaru: very confusing...but then again, aood ood stories are confusing! :P
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September 13, 2003 at 12:00 AM
... that was.. really.. good.
*faint*
*faint*