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for The Bonds That Never Break

by Keth

schedule February 16, 2017 at 12:00 AM

Dont get me wrong, this is VERY well written. And you actually have good grammar 99% of the time. But, with the exception of the lovey dovet moments,i felt this was just a regurgitation the actual series. There want really any difference. I mostly skipped over the extra stuff because ive seen and read the series. No need to keep repeating what info we all already now about it. I think you should cut out the extra and just breifly describe what "time" period things are happening. I get that your trying to appeal to the emotion but the extra isnt really helping, just bogging down with already known info. 

schedule December 17, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I love this. I can totally s ee this happening off screen. Im so happy you made this vision for us

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