schedule
July 12, 2011 at 12:00 AM
What a great start! I'm really intrigued, I haven't come across a story like this one before. My only suggestion would be to maybe break up long paragraphs a bit for easier reading and to separate the lines of dialogue a bit more, but it does work fine as is. I can't wait for more. :)
schedule
February 14, 2011 at 12:00 AM
interesting beginning would love to see where you planned to go with this