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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wow, a quicker update than i expected. lol. nice long chapter. update soon.
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wow, a quicker update than i expected. lol. nice long chapter. update soon.
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
just found this..and i am a fan. *bows*
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
*blink*...I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!!!! WOOOOOOOWWWWW>>> UPDATE SOON GIRL!
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Tsunade at her most delicious evil. Pretty please. This should be good.
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
*lol* great chapter!! Poor Sasuke, talk about being on the confusing end of things!!.. and Poor Naruto! Having to deal with confronting him so soon!.. hmm, though I can't wait to find out how he reacted to the hickeys... XD.. that should be a riot!! Hope you can update soon!!
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I liked it! Great job! Hopefully we'll see more soon! Until then :D
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
Chapter 1: To the A/N: Actually, that was a pretty decent summary in my opinion. It leaves a nice bit of mystery.
I really like the line in the second paragraph beginning with, “One of the things he despised [. . .]” Nicely phrased, and it makes sense. Actually, that whole paragraph is good. . . . Likin’ it, likin’ it, nice writing. . . . He’s one hell of a grouch in this. :) . . . . Ooh, good one: “They all resided [. . .]” Really good one. =) . . . . “mus-” what? . . . . Um, so far I think Naruto’s a little too . . . cutesy, I guess. . . . Umm, yeah, you’ve got some good characterization for Sasuke in this story, but it’s making Naruto seem a little superficial. õ_o . . . . Interesting idea: Sasuke gets absorbed in his own thoughts, reacts to them, and then takes it out on someone else. And that’s why some people would be all like, “What’s his problem? Oh, he’s always pissy.” ^^ . . . . Why would Lee on Sakura’s team bother her? She likes him as a good friend, and he’s not that pushy when it comes to his crush. Or maybe it’s just for the sake of the story . . . (*shrugs*) Oh well, forget it. (*sweat*) . . . . Hmm, that was weird, Naruto just turning away without saying goodbye.
Oh, okay, that explains it. ^_^ . . . . Red-light district? It’s serious enough to need that? Wow. . . . Heh. Are those the same women that Sasuke passed? Nice bit in that paragraph about how nervous Naruto gets when he sees huddles. . . . Half-erection? He’s that heated and it’s only half?? O_O Jeez. . . . “He mentally ran through [. . .] first time.” That sounds kinda mean, but I doubt that’s what he’s thinking. Is it a requirement? . . . . Nice description of Sasuke’s entrance. I wonder what he’s doing there, though.
I’m interested.
Chapter 1: To the A/N: Actually, that was a pretty decent summary in my opinion. It leaves a nice bit of mystery.
I really like the line in the second paragraph beginning with, “One of the things he despised [. . .]” Nicely phrased, and it makes sense. Actually, that whole paragraph is good. . . . Likin’ it, likin’ it, nice writing. . . . He’s one hell of a grouch in this. :) . . . . Ooh, good one: “They all resided [. . .]” Really good one. =) . . . . “mus-” what? . . . . Um, so far I think Naruto’s a little too . . . cutesy, I guess. . . . Umm, yeah, you’ve got some good characterization for Sasuke in this story, but it’s making Naruto seem a little superficial. õ_o . . . . Interesting idea: Sasuke gets absorbed in his own thoughts, reacts to them, and then takes it out on someone else. And that’s why some people would be all like, “What’s his problem? Oh, he’s always pissy.” ^^ . . . . Why would Lee on Sakura’s team bother her? She likes him as a good friend, and he’s not that pushy when it comes to his crush. Or maybe it’s just for the sake of the story . . . (*shrugs*) Oh well, forget it. (*sweat*) . . . . Hmm, that was weird, Naruto just turning away without saying goodbye.
Oh, okay, that explains it. ^_^ . . . . Red-light district? It’s serious enough to need that? Wow. . . . Heh. Are those the same women that Sasuke passed? Nice bit in that paragraph about how nervous Naruto gets when he sees huddles. . . . Half-erection? He’s that heated and it’s only half?? O_O Jeez. . . . “He mentally ran through [. . .] first time.” That sounds kinda mean, but I doubt that’s what he’s thinking. Is it a requirement? . . . . Nice description of Sasuke’s entrance. I wonder what he’s doing there, though.
I’m interested.
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I kinda really liked this last chapter a lot. =^^=
Naruto has long since bypassed denial and, in quite an appropriately named chapter, has accepted his fate and is trying to do something about it. I loved the "morning after" cuddling and, as usual, love the unresistible neck bites. Sasuke is still in the denial stage. I wonder what his thoughts will be when he sees the bite marks.. hell, next chapter we got some Tsunande moderated confrontation coming up, and we all know what kind of manipulative trickery she's most fond of... hehe, it promises to be an exciting chapter! :D
Keep up the good work. You keep writing and I'll keep reviewing. ;)
Naruto has long since bypassed denial and, in quite an appropriately named chapter, has accepted his fate and is trying to do something about it. I loved the "morning after" cuddling and, as usual, love the unresistible neck bites. Sasuke is still in the denial stage. I wonder what his thoughts will be when he sees the bite marks.. hell, next chapter we got some Tsunande moderated confrontation coming up, and we all know what kind of manipulative trickery she's most fond of... hehe, it promises to be an exciting chapter! :D
Keep up the good work. You keep writing and I'll keep reviewing. ;)
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 2: Hmm, extra testosterone or something? . . . . Huh? Oh, it’s back at the beginning. Um, might want to clear that up a little. When you switched perspectives, it didn’t look like it was jumping back to the beginning. I thought when Naruto saw Sasuke, it was a second time after he left him, not the first meeting that day. So it’s a little confusing. . . . Heh. “No shit, Uchiha.” XD There’s the Naruto I know! ^^ . . . . Okay, now I see why Naruto was a little exaggerated. . . . (*snicker*) Loved it when Naruto started checking out Sasuke. XD . . . . XDD “Green Lycra.” . . . . Whoa. That thought about Sasuke’s neck. This is serious, not just a need for sex. o_o . . . . “His women.” Oh my. XDD
“With something living?” Dang. o_o . . . . And it never occurred to Naruto that Sasuke might be more interested in guys than girls? . . . . Yyyeah, that’s what I thought. Why’s Sakura all coy? ô_o . . . . (*giggle*) “He rolled the idea around in his head [. . .]” Funny image. I like that phrase. ^^ . . . . Oooh, good description, “His voice sounded rough as familiar serpentine [. . .] wince.” Really like that one. =D . . . . Oh jeez, she saw! XO . . . . Run, Naruto, runnn!! . . . . ‘Scuse my picky-bitchiness, but this scene is really good so far, I’m enjoying it a lot, but the line “He would not let the Kyuubi harm his friends” seemed just a little corny to me. (*wince*) You can hit me, I deserve it. >.< . . . . He’s really got to talk to Tsunade so he can get a grip on this; hopefully Tsunade can send a note or something to Sakura. . . . Oh man, that was rough. The villagers noticed? Poor guy.
I think this chapter was a little better, actually.
“With something living?” Dang. o_o . . . . And it never occurred to Naruto that Sasuke might be more interested in guys than girls? . . . . Yyyeah, that’s what I thought. Why’s Sakura all coy? ô_o . . . . (*giggle*) “He rolled the idea around in his head [. . .]” Funny image. I like that phrase. ^^ . . . . Oooh, good description, “His voice sounded rough as familiar serpentine [. . .] wince.” Really like that one. =D . . . . Oh jeez, she saw! XO . . . . Run, Naruto, runnn!! . . . . ‘Scuse my picky-bitchiness, but this scene is really good so far, I’m enjoying it a lot, but the line “He would not let the Kyuubi harm his friends” seemed just a little corny to me. (*wince*) You can hit me, I deserve it. >.< . . . . He’s really got to talk to Tsunade so he can get a grip on this; hopefully Tsunade can send a note or something to Sakura. . . . Oh man, that was rough. The villagers noticed? Poor guy.
I think this chapter was a little better, actually.