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January 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
thank you for the update it was a good chapter hope to read the next one soon
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January 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
Chapter 12: XD “He?!” XD . . . Oh, Sasuke, you jerk, not while he’s drunk. . . . Little spelling error: “Every moan was a complement.” Actually, you mean “compliment.” . . . Wow, this is steamy. (*blush*) . . . “Dreamed of him every night since?” Interesting, he made no mention of it in the previous chapters. I guess in his drunken daze, he’s only now remembering. . . . I wonder what Sakura’s going to think of all this. . . . I dunno, Sasuke. Remember, Naruto was drunk. He might get a shock in the morning and you could be very hurt.
Chapter 12: XD “He?!” XD . . . Oh, Sasuke, you jerk, not while he’s drunk. . . . Little spelling error: “Every moan was a complement.” Actually, you mean “compliment.” . . . Wow, this is steamy. (*blush*) . . . “Dreamed of him every night since?” Interesting, he made no mention of it in the previous chapters. I guess in his drunken daze, he’s only now remembering. . . . I wonder what Sakura’s going to think of all this. . . . I dunno, Sasuke. Remember, Naruto was drunk. He might get a shock in the morning and you could be very hurt.
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January 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 13: Okay, I guess not. . . . Okay, that’s rather rude, making out in someone else’s house.
“MARRIED?!?!” Yeah, I did that too, right with Sasuke there. . . . I liked this bit: “How . . . How . . .” “How can that be?” “How didn’t anyone notice?!” ^^
Ooh, that’s something to think about alright. I kinda hope she would still love him, because I don’t want her to be shallow.
“MARRIED?!?!” Yeah, I did that too, right with Sasuke there. . . . I liked this bit: “How . . . How . . .” “How can that be?” “How didn’t anyone notice?!” ^^
Ooh, that’s something to think about alright. I kinda hope she would still love him, because I don’t want her to be shallow.
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January 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 14: To the AN: Het sex, eh? I might be able to handle it.
That whole first scene was cool.
Okay, this is sweet, though a little . . . I dunno . . . cheesy? (I don’t try to offend, just giving my honest opinion.) . . . Black hair? Are you remembering something, Naruto? . . . Yup. That was cool. . . . “More like a gasp?” Jeez, somebody get the earplugs!!
Big sigh of relief? I dunno, it didn’t have to be that hurried, I think. Even if readers hate it if it was dragged out a little more, so much the better for the story, I think. What’s a good story without a little challenge?
That whole first scene was cool.
Okay, this is sweet, though a little . . . I dunno . . . cheesy? (I don’t try to offend, just giving my honest opinion.) . . . Black hair? Are you remembering something, Naruto? . . . Yup. That was cool. . . . “More like a gasp?” Jeez, somebody get the earplugs!!
Big sigh of relief? I dunno, it didn’t have to be that hurried, I think. Even if readers hate it if it was dragged out a little more, so much the better for the story, I think. What’s a good story without a little challenge?
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January 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 15: It just occurred to me how interesting the title of this story is: “Last Chance.” Because it was Naruto’s last chance to win Sakura’s heart, and also his last chance to become Hokage.
Heh heh, “That was easy.” ^^ . . . Jeez, Sasuke, you’re so mean. . . . I liked it when Naruto cornered Sasuke saying “You knew, didn’t you!” XD . . . This was funny: “I’m your Hokage! You can’t call me things like that!” Reminds me of when Tsunade said to Jiraiya, “I’m the goddamn Hokage!” when he offered to take her out for a drink. XD . . . I liked the line saying “Sasuke would alternately cover his mouth with his hand, then move it to run through his hair.” . . . “He just needed some reminding,” Uh-oh. ^^ . . . Ooh, danger. . . . Oh, for crying out loud, not the uke-puns! . . . Niiiiice ending.
And your last AN was MEAN! XD
Heh heh, “That was easy.” ^^ . . . Jeez, Sasuke, you’re so mean. . . . I liked it when Naruto cornered Sasuke saying “You knew, didn’t you!” XD . . . This was funny: “I’m your Hokage! You can’t call me things like that!” Reminds me of when Tsunade said to Jiraiya, “I’m the goddamn Hokage!” when he offered to take her out for a drink. XD . . . I liked the line saying “Sasuke would alternately cover his mouth with his hand, then move it to run through his hair.” . . . “He just needed some reminding,” Uh-oh. ^^ . . . Ooh, danger. . . . Oh, for crying out loud, not the uke-puns! . . . Niiiiice ending.
And your last AN was MEAN! XD
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January 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 16: “Anything I say?” Uh-oh, he’s gonna make Sasuke eat those words. ^^ . . . Wow, this is hot. . . . Hee hee, “Now I remember why it hurt.” XD . . . Come on, Sasuke, the wait makes it more worth it. ^^ . . . Man, this is hawwwwt. . . . Wait, flipped over? I thought Sasuke’s hands were tied. How did that work without breaking his wrists? . . . Whoa, that line “Feel like a girl now?” Yeeks. (*shiver*shiver*) I like this part. . . . Heh, “Sasuke sure was loud.” Quite surprising, isn’t it, Naruto, considering how quiet the guy usually is, eh? . . . Um, this just occurred to me: Did they lock the door? I know Naruto told the ANBU that Sasuke was to be trusted without a doubt, but don’t you think the screams would still draw attention? And once again, my question arises: Where does this leave Sakura? . . . Good question at the end, Naruto. And was Sasuke still awake when Naruto said that?
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January 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
(I haven’t been able to review lately because I was on vacation.)
Chapter 7: I liked the “DATE! KISS!” part. . . . I don’t think Sasuke would appreciate it all that much, Naruto. But he’s probably lonely anyways. . . . Oh, what am I talking about? I really liked the paragraph beginning with “Sasuke’s long fingers.” That gave me chills. . . . Hee hee, error: “Dame Teme!” I think you mean “Damn.” XD . . . Heh, nice one, Naruto, crashing out of bed like that. X) . . . Yeah, I know, Sakura, where have you been? Naruto’s freakin’ hawt! And you hadn’t noticed?! . . . I like Sakura’s attention to Naruto here. . . . Nice bit about “They didn’t see the seething Uchiha across the street, shooting daggers with his red-tinted eyes.” . . . Just wait, Naruto, she’s setting up a surprise for you, I can tell! . . . Knew it. . . . Pssh. Sasuke’s supposed to be perceptive. Is he in a little DENIAL??? . . . Yeah, you better hurry, Sasuke.
(I haven’t been able to review lately because I was on vacation.)
Chapter 7: I liked the “DATE! KISS!” part. . . . I don’t think Sasuke would appreciate it all that much, Naruto. But he’s probably lonely anyways. . . . Oh, what am I talking about? I really liked the paragraph beginning with “Sasuke’s long fingers.” That gave me chills. . . . Hee hee, error: “Dame Teme!” I think you mean “Damn.” XD . . . Heh, nice one, Naruto, crashing out of bed like that. X) . . . Yeah, I know, Sakura, where have you been? Naruto’s freakin’ hawt! And you hadn’t noticed?! . . . I like Sakura’s attention to Naruto here. . . . Nice bit about “They didn’t see the seething Uchiha across the street, shooting daggers with his red-tinted eyes.” . . . Just wait, Naruto, she’s setting up a surprise for you, I can tell! . . . Knew it. . . . Pssh. Sasuke’s supposed to be perceptive. Is he in a little DENIAL??? . . . Yeah, you better hurry, Sasuke.
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January 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 8: Funny bit about Ino fussing over Naruto. ^^ . . . I’d love to see how Sakura looks. . . . Boy, Naruto, I’d be just as clueless myself with all this dating stuff. I actually get awkward when the guy does it all for me. Maybe you and I should get together sometime? ^^ . . . God, Naruto’s cute when he’s happy. . . . I got to say, I’m intrigued with this story. Especially because the summary says it’s a Sasuke and Naruto fic, and there’s no hint of it going anywhere near that route. I wonder if it will end up as Sasuke and Naruto in the end. . . . I feel bad for Sasuke. I gotta say, though, he doesn’t seem to be as smart in this fic as I would expect him to be. . . . Uhm, “Tsunade-sama is a little ruff on him,” I think you mean “rough.”
Hahaha, that was funny when Sakura said, “I knew it!” ^^ . . . Interesting. Just when the relationship is at its most intimate, there’s a spark of unease.
Hahaha, that was funny when Sakura said, “I knew it!” ^^ . . . Interesting. Just when the relationship is at its most intimate, there’s a spark of unease.
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January 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 9: To your AN at the beginning: I’m really REALLY sorry I haven’t been reviewing, but I was on vacation, and I had not dared to log on to AFF while I was at my relatives’ house; I doubted they would have approved.
Hmm, I dunno if challenging the Hokage is a possible way to gain a nomination. If anything, I think it would have the opposite effect. . . . Interesting vocabulary, Naruto, since when did you speak like that? . . . Heheh, I liked that bit: “I’m really thinking of boarding up that window.” . . . Oh, whoops: “Jiraiya chuckled as he through his leg over” I think you mean “threw,” not “through.” . . . “He’s not as stupid as he likes to make people think.” I dunno. I can picture him being not as dumb as people would think, but I can’t picture him doing the stuff with the paperwork and all that. But I guess that just goes to show how narrow-minded I can be. . . . Trump card, eh? Hmmm.
That was interesting. “The Hokage has been challenged.” “What?!” CRASH!! Nice timing. . . . Yeah, that was funny, Jiraiya. ^^. . . . Pssh. Some council of elders. More like council of idiots.
Hmm, I dunno if challenging the Hokage is a possible way to gain a nomination. If anything, I think it would have the opposite effect. . . . Interesting vocabulary, Naruto, since when did you speak like that? . . . Heheh, I liked that bit: “I’m really thinking of boarding up that window.” . . . Oh, whoops: “Jiraiya chuckled as he through his leg over” I think you mean “threw,” not “through.” . . . “He’s not as stupid as he likes to make people think.” I dunno. I can picture him being not as dumb as people would think, but I can’t picture him doing the stuff with the paperwork and all that. But I guess that just goes to show how narrow-minded I can be. . . . Trump card, eh? Hmmm.
That was interesting. “The Hokage has been challenged.” “What?!” CRASH!! Nice timing. . . . Yeah, that was funny, Jiraiya. ^^. . . . Pssh. Some council of elders. More like council of idiots.
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January 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 10: To the AN: Awright! We got some Yaoi ahead! :D
“Bunshin Bakuha?” What’s that? . . . I like that scene with Team 10 and Temari. That was funny. ^^ . . . WHAHAHAAAAAT?!?! HUSBAND?!? O_O . . . Cool, I like the bit about Naruto learning the fan techniques. . . . Yeah, I can understand that. It makes sense that the marriage would make you change your village, but it is hard to picture her as a Leaf-nin. . . . Yup, never underestimate the “Uzumaki charm” (to use when all hope fails). . . . HAHAHAHA AWRIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHEN WE’D SEE THAT AGAIN!! XDDDDDD (I wonder if it’s anonymous people or if it’s people we know. ^^) . . . Oh . . . Gawd. Poor Sasuke. XDDD . . . Nice fight. I wonder if Sasuke’s going to have anything to say about that one technique in the next chapter.
“Bunshin Bakuha?” What’s that? . . . I like that scene with Team 10 and Temari. That was funny. ^^ . . . WHAHAHAAAAAT?!?! HUSBAND?!? O_O . . . Cool, I like the bit about Naruto learning the fan techniques. . . . Yeah, I can understand that. It makes sense that the marriage would make you change your village, but it is hard to picture her as a Leaf-nin. . . . Yup, never underestimate the “Uzumaki charm” (to use when all hope fails). . . . HAHAHAHA AWRIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHEN WE’D SEE THAT AGAIN!! XDDDDDD (I wonder if it’s anonymous people or if it’s people we know. ^^) . . . Oh . . . Gawd. Poor Sasuke. XDDD . . . Nice fight. I wonder if Sasuke’s going to have anything to say about that one technique in the next chapter.