rate_review Reviews

Mmm.... Really nicely written lemon, I liked. <3 Keep writing more, please? 8) (If not volunteery, grr, then I'll hunt you down and *make* you write more!) Oh.. and please, don't let Naruto let anyone random touch Sasuke. o_o You're the author, you can stop anyone coming in between them. ^^ *waiting for da update*

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see what happens next.

At first I wasn't too sure about this story, but it's grown on me.

Please continue.

The lemon scene did not make any sense. Sasuke is going to be top at some point if female Sasuke is going to be working at a whore house. I thought the whole point of them sleeping together was for Sasuke to loose his virginity to someone he knew and cared for. If you just wanted to make Naruto the uke then you really should rewrite the part were they're taking about were the mission is going to take place and Sasuke job for the mission so it makes more sense why Sasuke is not the uke. Other then that for this to be your first time writing a lemon you did really well.

Liked it - both the lemon and the rest. (There's few lemon that's not clichéd, but yours had some quite original moments.) Also Sasuke asking Naruto for a favor was great - and then Naruto finds himself as the bottom. (Guess he insists on changing roles soon.)

(I review as I read.)
Chapter 7: Can’t really blame Naruto for being pissed. Love Sasuke’s point about why (s)he didn’t tell. . . . Erm: “Hmph. Then why the second date? [. . .]” You used single quotes for that paragraph; does that mean he’s just thinking it? . . . ‘Why do I get the feeling that she is trying to get rid of me?’ So Naruto thinks of Sasuke as a “she” when he’s Kouya, huh? He still doesn’t see Kouya as Sasuke? . . . . Love the sentence about the flames in Sasuke’s eyes. I’ve got a thing for those types of images of eyes & light. :heart: . . . . Hm? What’s in his hands, I wonder? . . . . Yep, there’s the question everyone wonders in these cases: “What’s it like?” ^^ . . . . Okay, I like how Sasuke explains the difference between his male and female sides, but it seems kind of strange that he’d be talking about that out loud. I mean, I guess I think it would sound a little more reluctant or something. No biggie. . . . (*snicker*) Love it when Naruto thinks, “Good thing I don’t like the teme. I’m not gay.” Uh-huh, sure, Naruto. ^^ . . . . That’d make an interesting picture: Sasuke lying on his back, reading The Art of Seduction. . . . Cute, cuddles. ^_^ :heart:
(*giggle*) Love how Sasuke’s all content, then he realizes why, and gets his guard up. ^^ . . . . Also, I love Sasuke’s total focus on the book he’s reading; pure concentration.
Err, little whoopsie: You put quotes at the beginning of “The old woman looked like she would object further.” . . . . So? What’s wrong with the room? Aren’t a lot of motel rooms like that? . . . . Oh boy, the “two people, one bed” situation; those are fun. ^^ . . . . Whoa, Naruto quiet for 20 minutes? Wow, that’s impressive. o_o . . . . Love the part when Sasuke closes the book and gives Naruto the dead-serious look and starts explaining. Nice effect. . . . Oh man, that’s really mean of Tsunade to make Sasuke do something like this. I mean, flirting and seducing is one thing, but if it’s something else . . . ó_ò . . . . The characterization in this dialogue is pretty good. . . . Interesting chain of thought that led to “experience.” . . . . Naruto honestly has no clue what the favor is. . . . Love the intensity of those past paragraphs that make the suspense building up to the kiss. . . . Oh man, and that description of Sasuke! (*hearts in eyes*) . . . . Interesting. I wonder if Sasuke really wants to do Naruto, or is he just practicing his seduction skills. Maybe both. Either way, they might be working! ^^ . . . . (*snicker*) LOVE this dialogue! “Your first time should be with someone special.” “You once referred to me as your brother.” “That would be incest.” “Good thing we’re not brothers. I’d have to kill you.” XD . . . . Love how Naruto’s testing his desire. . . . Love Sasuke’s bluntness and Naruto’s hesitance. . . . Awesome depiction of the kiss progressing into something wild. Love the description of male instinct. And ooh, good one! “Perfect opposites that repelled as strongly as they attracted one another.” Excellent! =D . . . . Interesting little touch about not leaving marks. . . . Mmm, I always love the idea of Sasuke being quietly aroused. :heart: . . . . That’d also make a good picture -- the position they have exactly when Sasuke flips them over. . . . Yeah, he should not have been surprised -- so, what, is Sasuke like hard to get up or something? ô_o . . . . Okay, I like how you said Naruto was “exposing” himself, but I think you might want to use a different word for “vulnerability”; it sounds to girly-uke to me. (*sweat*) . . . . “Half-hard?” After all this, he’s only half-hard?? . . . . Love Sasuke’s determination. But how is he doing this with such ease? I mean, genius or not, sexual stuff doesn’t count when it comes to learning experiences! õ_ô . . . . Love the way you describe Naruto’s thoughts during this. . . . Love the detail of Sasuke’s “daring” actions. . . . Love the paragraph starting with, “Naruto took this as a moment [. . .]” . . . . (*snort*) “That’s an exit only, buddy.” XD Great wording! XD . . . . LOL! “Aah, that’s better. I like this.” XD . . . . I thought guys don’t like teeth involved during, um, that. (*blush*) >_> . . . . Love how Sasuke’s trying to make it easy for Naruto, but it’s not totally lovey-dovey and, at the same time, not cold-bastard-let’s-get-this-over-with or grrr-hurry-up. It’s hard to get that just right feeling in here, but you did a good job; I like this calm, cool and patient Sasuke. =) . . . . Hee hee. “I am relaxing.” ^^ . . . . (*giggle*) Love how they’re trying to talk through intercourse. And the dialogue’s funny. ^^ . . . . “Long, stubborn bangs” is totally right. I love ‘em. . . . LOLLLL, I LOVE the ending dialogue! XD So cuuuute! ^_^ :heart:
Hell, no I wasn’t disappointed! If anything, I think this is the best chapter you’ve written! (Not necessarily because of the lemon, although it was awesome, but you seemed to have improved your writing.) . . . . Wait, seriously? You’re first lemon? That’s pretty damn good.
I hope you keep updating this! ^_^ (Wow, longest review I’ve done for this story. o_o)

Good job on the lemon! It was great! But what about tomorrow when Sasuke becomes Kouya again? Will you let there be a lemon between them? And what about the mission? Will Naruto really let anyone else touch Sasuke other than him? Hurry with the next chapter!!

This is a great story so far. I wasn't expecting a female Sasuke and wasn't sure how I felt about it at first. You've done a great job keeping both Sasuke and Naruto in character and creating an interesting storyline. I'm really looking forward to the beginning of their 'mission'. I hope you update this soon. Looks like its been awhile :) ~ BelleDragon

I was just thinkin' about how cool it'd be if you updated soon... 8)

Please, pretty please? when will you be updating? I'm sooooo for next chapter .... will it be soon? *puppy dog eyes*

Chapter 6: Oh, so she is going to help. Good, I was worried. . . . But it looks like she still might milk it for all its worth. ^^' . . . I wonder what Sakura’s up to. . . . Oh, that’s mean, Tsunade! . . . Yeah, you definitely have read Asuka Kureru’s stuff! She has another fic where Sasuke was put in a situation like this! . . . Oh geez, don’t hint, Tsunade, just spit it out if it’s Naruto! Geez. . . . Well, that went well.
Oh boy, Neji’s hitting on her. . . . You know, I’ve always wondered why Naruto has so many plants. . . . Hee hee, I loved it when Kouya swatted Naruto with the pillow. ^^ . . . How the hell did Naruto get a photo with Gaara? . . . Oh boy, here’s where it all comes out. . . . Ooh, he’s mad. Excellent. ^^ . . . Whoa, he’s really pissed. . . . Oh my. That word: “straddle.” Every time I hear it, I think of something. I’m sure you know what. ^^ . . . He -- he just -- nevermind. I like the kissies. ^^ . . . Really like the kissies. . . . Nice description of “Kouya” when Naruto stops kissing “her” (she’s still “Sasuke” to me, and “he”). . . . He may be just checking for damage, but he could’ve fooled me. . . . Nice idea, chakra in saliva. . . . Oh yeah, the towel. That makes that whole session even better. ^^ . . . Hee hee, nice ending to the chapter.