rate_review Reviews

Another group of great chapters. (I just finished chapter 24)

I love the interaction between Sasuke and Naruto. I love the way you’re building them up. You’ve made them into fascinatingly three dimensional characters and should be incredibly proud of yourself. The way you wrote them growing closer and closer, the relationship developing between them, it’s really quite well done. I like the way you made them so realistic.

Another thing I really liked about this set of chapters was the fact that Sasuke’s emotions were starting to show just a bit more. He’s so insanely caught up in Naruto that he doesn’t recognize what he’s feeling; he just knows it’s something. I love the portrayal of his jealousy, how deeply needy he is of Naruto. To possess, to own, to love, to dictate. He wants to keep Naruto as his own and its fascinating the lengths he’ll go through to accomplish his goal. I love that Naruto is willing to be patient enough in this, to allow Sasuke his fits of jealousy and need when he has them. It’s cute, and it’s nice. It fits in their relationship.

These chapters have impressed me simply because of the progression of plot. I like the fact that the past few chapters have been incredible active and exciting and these have been a welcome reprieve that. You’re giving us a change of pace, letting us see how the boys are growing together. How external circumstances are helping to draw them closer, how Naruto is able to worm his way into Sasuke’s heart and all.

These are a fun set of chapters because of Sasuke. Simply because of Sasuke. Because he’s so jealous and he doesn’t know how to handle his jealousy and he doesn’t know what to do with it. He doesn’t know how to express it. Yet another wonderful facet for the ever innocent Sasuke.

Brilliant thus far darling. Absolutely, stunningly brilliant. (I’ll review more tomorrow!)

*loves*
~hanyou-elf

Once again I love you. God I had a dream last night about this story and it was awesome. I basically dreamed that it was the anime and when I woke up I was all sad :( (only that it wasn't). I wanna see Sasuke & Naruto in action (and I don't mean in bed, although I wouldn't object if Kishimoto decided to throw it in there). Hooray for updates and I give you skittles as a reward(I never understood the whole cookies thing, skittles are the greatest thing ever invented, aside from yaoi)

So I’m on chapter 10, and I have to say this is an incredible start. There aren’t a lot of authors out there who would be able to pull together something so incredible as this story, and you’ve done it magnificently. You should be seriously proud of the work you’ve done on this story, because it’s an amazing story, thus far, and I’m completely engrossed in enjoying it.

I want to talk about your Naruto though. It’s incredible the way you wrote him. I feel so much for him, his attitude, his dedication to things, his determination. You’ve managed to capture him from the manga and the anime almost perfectly, and I love the additional growth you’ve given him. He’s matured into a powerful shinobi, although he still manages to maintain that bit of innocence that makes him Naruto. It’s a difficult balance and you’ve done an amazing job balancing it. I love the way you’ve aged him in these chapters, the progression of his character, of his strength, letting us watch him grow with Orochimaru and Kabuto guiding him. I really liked, by the way, the added notes of his malnutrition and deficiencies. Being so disliked by the village, it’s kind of obvious that he would be so, but so few people actually pick up and run with that idea, you did a really good job, creative and original.

I like that Naruto’s so focused on helping Sasuke, that he refuses to react to the news that he’s to be restricted to the village without being allowed to leave. I like that he’s determined to bring Sasuke home first, before that happens. Because in all honesty, Naruto would want to save his friend before he couldn’t do anything anymore. If he wasn’t allowed to, if he was confined to the village, he would probably take off, missing nin style. And that would just be completely heartbreaking to Tsunade and the rest of Naruto’s friends. I like the way you wrote him going after Sasuke; because you’ve done something in describing his level of power that’s really good. You make it easy for the reader to know just how far Naruto has come, to know just what Naruto has been through, and what he’s pushing himself through. And you didn’t skimp out on his level of emotions, the deep little power that he has that makes him so much stronger.

And then, countering Naruto is Sasuke. I love that you wrote Sasuke, so cold. Bastard-ish. It’s a really good way to describe him and you’ve done really well keeping him like that. The fact that he’s so confused about the reappearance of Naruto with Orochimaru’s mind, the fact that his dreams have become something disturbingly pleasing to him, and the way he deals with the new Naruto. I love the way you wrote him out. He’s cold, he’s arrogant, and aloof and still so very deeply affected by Naruto’s being there. He doesn’t want to admit that it bothers him, but he really has no choice, because he’s thrown off of his game all the time by Naruto, and that’s something else I really enjoyed in this, the way you managed to keep Naruto forcing Sasuke to be on his toes.

Sasuke’s character in this story interests me. He’s torn between renewing his bonds with Naruto and completely pushing him away, using him and letting him go. I like that he’s so confused about what to do, but at the same time, he’s not letting it stop him. And I really like that he’s taken on an almost uke-ish role in this story thus far, in regards to Naruto. And it could be because of the fact that Naruto is just so domineering and that Sasuke was poisoned that he didn’t want to… didn’t dare to challenge Naruto like that… but I still like it. Naruto should always dominate Sasuke, it’s the natural order of things…

And of course the Snaky Sannin himself. You did a really good job of getting his impatience, his demanding attitude, and his need to be in absolute control down. I liked that you made him so impatient as he was struggling to get used to being in control of Naruto and his demon inhabitant. The throwing of furniture made me happy because he strikes me as somebody would throw a huge fit when things didn’t go his way. He is really good, really well written and you’ve done a great job with him. I really like that. And then again he’s way demanding, which is just the pot calling the kettle black. Orochimaru demands respect. Orochimaru demands power. Orochimaru demands whatever he wants. And when he doesn’t get it, he throws a fit. You did a really good job of finding that balance and walking that line carefully.

And Kabuto, bastard that he is. I like how subservient he is to Orochimaru while managing to maintain his own independence. He’s still quite capable of doing what he wants, but every choice he makes, he prefers to defer to what he thinks Orochimaru would like. It’s another interesting characteristic that you’ve managed to exploit very well. I like the fact that although he’s beneath Orochimaru, you have the snake depending on him so heavily. Very nice. You keep it in character from the original series, and that’s a difficult task to do.

Thus far, this story is very intriguing. It’s fast paced and well written. The description is absolutely beautiful, the characters are engaging. The scenes are written with such attention to the details that it makes them realistic, visible. You’ve taken the characters and you’ve made them your own. You own these characters, and you make them play your game. The interactions you have them engaging in, the parts they are forced to play, it’s all very well thought out and absolutely beautiful. I love that this story is so involved, so well details and thought out that it’s almost as though the reader could step in and interact themselves, if they really wanted to.

Great job with this story darling. I absolutely love it!

*onto the next chapters!*

*loves*
~hanyou-elf

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I read the paragraph about the tail hitting Hiroki like 3 times because it was just so damn cute. I never fail to get a kick out of your potty humor

I’m glad that Sakura is worried for Naruto, I know the hatred you have for her and how tempting it would be to kill her off, lol though I don’t think it would register much on the fangirls radar

It makes me grin so happily seeing Hiroki have little bits of Naruto in him, its like seeing a lil Naruto, so damn adorable. I mean. I HATE KIDDIES! BURN ‘EM! Reading about Hiroki isn’t making my biological clock tick like crazy

I love how everyone wants to see Naruto Sasame and Ryou

And I see the hints of Oro still lingering… MY OTP WILL LIVE FOREVER.

I’m gonna keep Hiroki, you have fun with making Naruto and Sasuke smex, I’ll be here happily feeding clothing and playing house with Hiroki… *looks at zrina’s corner* well… can I just have the whole family? My favourite part was Sasuke coming to sit between Naruto and Hiroki, they’re all so adorable together *fangirl squeal* The things this fic reduces me to *shakes head*

*love*

Aww I love ti when their with Hiroki - they're just so god - it makes me want to squeal like a fangirl looool - heh I didn't exactly know what to think about Sakura's small conversation with Sasuke. It's obvious she does care for Naruto but I couldn't help getting the feeling she wanted sasuke to maybe say that Naruto wasn't what he wanted forever - but then if she still cares that much for him then I suppose on some level she'd want that. Iruka-sensei!!! *glomps* He just makes me happy lool :D that was a nice chapter - I liked it ^_^ so next Tuesday again at the same time ^_6 loooooooooool XD

Hina xXxx

waaah hiroki's so cute.

The whole interaction between Hiroki and both Naruto and Sasuke was great. I've never enjoyed an OC character in a fanfiction so much before; specially a kid.

The part where Naruto whispered tips to Hiroki on how to get Sasuke to say yes about getting him a pet cracked me up. XD

To be honest I'm not sure what to think of Sakura yet so I guess we'll just have to wait and see... I hope Sasuke's answers and actions made her understand where his place is.

*hugs*

wah!! i had completely forgotten that today was tuesday until i checked my livejournal and saw your update. i was so excited, and sad because i had to get to class. but i read it anyway, before class, heh heh. i'm a bad student. ^__^; but here i am to review!

it was so great!! i was getting a little upset with sakura at the end there, but i know sasuke can handle himself. i just wonder what naruto's reaction would have been, you know? cause normal naruto would be sad that sakura was being hurt by his and sasuke's relationship, but fox naruto would probably get territorial and whatnot... hm...

and hiroki is not adorable, with his innocence and dreams of a family. i really loved naruto playing with him with the tails. i was all, "squee!aw!"

and i'm a little worried about sasame. i mean, she obviously can't do what ren can with the threads and stuff, yet tsunade wants her help. does that mean that sasuke's going to have to let her into naruto's mind via the sharingan, cause i don't think sasuke will like that one bit. hell, even i'm not liking that prospect, what with the obvious crush she has on naruto and the fact that she'll see kyuubi's cage if not kyuubi himself because he's heartbroken and whatnot.

anyway, i am so psyched for the next chapter! until then!!

This was a sweet chapter, Hiroki totally the show XD. He's way too cute and Smart *pats his head* Good boy XD, you look out for your nii-san. Stupid Sakura. she did okay, it could've been much worse, but it also could've been much better. But then Sakura just saying, "I'm happy for you," would've been weird. And LOL, oh god Sasame, poor Sasuke, he's going be irritated beyond, meddling shoujo's all around. *huggles you* I'm going to just enjoy the happy homey feelings while I can. Here's to hoping they can get Naruto fixed up before the council meeting *crosses fingers*. Thanks for the update Honey, I always look forward to Tuesdays ♥