rate_review Reviews

wow. are you 12? no offence, but you A) slacked on this, B) no plot/ REALLY WEAK/CHEESY...c)its just... OFF.

Hunh. BAD GRAMMAR!!!!!

You know what, boy--or girl--, you really need to work on your grammar! And where did Sasuke's "I like you too" come from? Isn't he the ice-bastard from the middle of nowhere?!!! And Naruto, who's probably never been with anyone else in his entire life, starts to give Sasuke a blow-job?!!!! GWAHHH! This is too much...

*-_-* ...sobs in a corner because grammar is being degraded and abused before her very own eyes...

I know. I'm a grammar freak. All hail Grammar-sama!!!! *_*

Wow. To tell you the truth, this story SUCKS. Just to let you know. -_-

I mean exactly what my name says.

I'm sorry to ask, but do you even know the mechanisms of *doing IT*?

As a SasuNaru (or NaruSasu) fan, I feel obligated to tell you that this story is one of the most out of character, error-addled pieces of "writing" I've ever seen. How old are you, honey? 12? Might I suggest you take a few English writing courses, where you might just learn how to structure your narration. You might even learn how to spell, learn the basics of English grammar, get a good grasp on "Show, Don't Tell," and perhaps even learn how to avoid overusing cliche phrasology. I have no problem with you writing smut. I have read a great deal of very well-written SasuNaruSasu smut over the years. Perhaps for reference you should look into the works of authors such as Asuka Kureru and Questofdreams. Then compare their works to your own. I think the disparities will be obvious.

Did you even proofread, or edit?

Now really, I usually am very nice and don't mean to make you cry or anything, but your writing needs a lot of work. You wrote a PWP so badly that I seriously considered recommending it to be ANBUed

Speaking on ANBU, perhaps to let you know what to avoid you should look through the archives at The Fanfiction ANBU, (ff_anbu.livejournal.com).

Have a nice day. I apologize for leaving such a harsh review; I hope you take it as constructive criticism and grow from it, to produce works of higher quality in the future.

um.......... o_O

That was.....so crappy it makes me want to kill myself for reading it.