rate_review Reviews

hey, this version was much better than the first. i like that you added more description/detail and are fleshing out naruto's interactions with others more, and the ways he reacts to situations.. there were still a few editing mistakes here and there, but not toooo bad (most noticeable was switching from first person to third person for part of a sentence in both naruto's and sasuke's pov--saying "he" instead of "i" i think it was..) i'm also glad you went with just naruto and sasuke's pov, it made reading a LOT easier and less distracting..

you're still calling shikamaru "nara" though.. you're using everyone else's given names (ie: naruto, sasuke, ino) but you're using shikamaru's family name.. (such as uzumaki, uchiha, and yamanaka are family names --aka "last names" for western/american culture people) is that on purpose or was it a mistake?

well anyway, glad you're redoing it (i was wondering if you were still going to since you never answered my reply to your email) i look forward to seeing how the future chapters are improved as well, and how the rest of the story plays out ^___^

~ lg

Holy shit. But I really like it.

AWSEOM FIC@!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!

Yea i like this version WAAAAY better, the other one was good too, but this ones fantastic
i really hope you update soon.
i'll be looking forward to it.

^_^

Great work little amigo! Can't wait for the next chapter. I haven't read your other one, but I like this one.

I like it so far! Sounds like it's going to be an awesome story. Although, there are a few spelling mistakes. You may want to get a beta. I'll even do it for you if you'd like(Email me if you want)! PLEASE DO NOT think of this as a flame! This is just constructive criticism. I love the story and I really want you to continue!