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for In His Touch (No Strings Attached)

by ardenilia

person Anon
schedule July 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
The idea and story-line are well thought-out, but the constant change in tenses (past-, present-, future-tense) can be very confusing to the reader; try to choose whether or not you'd like to use a past-tense, present-tense, or a future-tense to your story and stick to it. Getting a Beta would probably be in the best interest of your story. Other than the tense issues, your story seems very well written; keep up the work.
person curious_corbie
schedule July 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Awsome. I look forward to more. Please finsih it. I hate it when people don't finish good stories. Keep up the good work.
person Trollmia
schedule July 13, 2006 at 12:00 AM
A very nice start and even more so - a very interesting pairing. I will be looking forward to reading more of this.
All thumbs up!!

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