schedule
July 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It's dark, that's for sure, but that's not the problem that your reader has with what you're writing. Because with the way you write, your reader is swept up in the story. Your problem is that your chapters are fragmented and confusing, (a little of which is understandable considering Sakura's state of mind, but this much is rediculous) and we're not certain where this story is going. Try to make your chapters longer, and try sending them to a beta-reader to make sure that your plotline can be followed. You have great potential and talent; don't waste it.