rate_review Reviews

your off to a good start you should definately continue

Great chapter!) Enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to reading more of it.

I like this alot. you could use a beta (I would LOVE to help) but besides that, its awsome. I really like where it is going, and can't wait for more. oh, and the ending for this chapter is funny. Your a really good writer. and I would love to see some of your older stuff.

i have no idea HWY i saw 2 stars when i read this, but this NOT bad. it's quite okay actually.

beta = someone who reads your fic first hand before you post it up and fixes your grammar mistakes that you have forgotten to fix and possibly gives you a first impression of what they thought. that's the general description but to me, a beta is a god-send. worship them if you find a good one!

anyways, your fic has a few grammar mistakes so i suggest you find yourself a beta or re-read your fic a few more times (for me, i do about five times). nothing too bad, just minor stuff.

i'm finding your characterisation of gaara and sasuke a bit out of character. even if you were to have the fic, like five years into the future or something, i still can't imagine gaara hugging temari or sasuke being that social around the others. even in the manga, where gaara's a few years old his personality doesn't change that much from when he was twelve. for me, sasuke just sounded to narutoish in the fic. he's a uchiha so he's supposed to be stoic and emotionaless most of the time.

anyways, i can't tell whether i like this fic or not as there's only one chapter and most of the time, new fics need at least two or three chapters in order for me to form some kind of opinion. also, don't take my review too hard and stop. you should just continue and improve.....so.....keep it up!