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March 17, 2021 at 12:00 AM
The transition between the two amd what they were doimg/saying/feeling was very smooth, I read alot and I've been reading on this website for over ten years now (haha makes me feel almost old) anyway. I habe only recently started reviewing stories and judging byxyoy end comments ypu seem unsure of how good you are as a writer.
You were amazing, I didn't see any spelling errors, You're sentences and paragraphs were smooth. Grammar was great. The story was very well rounded, my only suggestion is a little more emotions perhaps.
You did amazing, keep up the good work!
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November 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It was great! I really loved it! and I think the way you wrote it was phenomonal! I really hope to read more of your stories!!
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September 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*squeeee* That was sooooo cute! Aww, Saskue taking care of Naru chan's owies. ^^ Wai!!!!!
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September 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yeah, there are a few typos but... GOD!!! THIS IS SEXY!!!
That's and absolutely HOT lemon!
BTW I know guy don't have as long orgasms as women but with such beautifully shown touches and all the orgasm could be more than 2 sentences. That's just my suggestion.
That's and absolutely HOT lemon!
BTW I know guy don't have as long orgasms as women but with such beautifully shown touches and all the orgasm could be more than 2 sentences. That's just my suggestion.
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September 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I liked this, it was a lot of fun to read. Nice job, that was pretty hot. Keep up the good work.
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September 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ohh, simply loved it. So cute and cuddly and yet very sexy.
Very good!!
Very good!!