rate_review Reviews

I like the story, but you could of fleshed out the erotic bits a little. Also, what kind of nightmare was that?

It seemed a bit rushed. Especially the smut scene. You left out important parts that would have given it better flow and made it much better. Also, the rest of the plot seemed a bit underdeveloped. It seems like it would be a decent story though. Rushing the second chapter like this one would probably mess it up too. With a character death, you can't be bang boom if you want effect.

So, definitely needs some more development, but keep up the good work :D

Nice, though I wish there was more lemony action in the chapter, but it's still really good;P

Not a bad story...though it seems very rushed and thin, more like an outline than an actualy story, but still not terrible.