rate_review Reviews

Very good!

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Oh my....

My favorite pairing (AsumaxShika), but it wasn't a lemon! Please write something a little more on the erotic side next time, the two go so under appreciated.

It was a good idea, but I had one major problem. Why did you use a dash instead of quotation marks to denote speech? That really broke up the story, and made it difficult to not only tell who was talking, but it actually took me a while to understand that that was supposed to be dialogue.

The rest of the story was good, with just a few grammar and spelling mistakes. The premise for the story was really good, and the pairing was original. With a little work and a beta, I think you could make this an excellent story.

It was a good idea, but I had one major problem. Why did you use a dash instead of quotation marks to denote speech? That really broke up the story, and made it difficult to not only tell who was talking, but it actually took me a while to understand that that was supposed to be dialogue.

The rest of the story was good, with just a few grammar and spelling mistakes. The premise for the story was really good, and the pairing was original. With a little work and a beta, I think you could make this an excellent story.

Odd,interesting ,apt.Good Choji.Cool ending.I like.

Poor Shika, the story wasn't confusing to me. Yay for choji to save the day whoooo!

I thought that was well done.