Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Kinky Konoha

By : Randomest-Answer

From SirGeneralSir on August 19, 2014
Ok, its an interesting story, but sadly it started to kind of drag on a bit.

the only thing that was happening was Naruto was having sex with these strangers and suddenly has some kind of feelings for them? you may have a attraction to someone, but love is something that you find after spending time talking to and being around a person, not just fucking them in different ways.

it felt like the girls were just giving him excuses for wanting to have sex, it didnt feel like they were craving for him to be their man and get them pregnant.

it was a good try, i think that if you worked on it a bit more you could have a much better story.
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From ANON - TheJusticeFriends! on July 20, 2013
Hey! Long time no see! Sodry got so busy these past few weeks!
Honestly, not trying to sound rude here in the slightest man, this chapter was pretty unremarkable to me. Maybe I'm just out of it from my busy schedule but the only things that stood out to me in this chapter was that Naruto had problems with his girls at the beginning then he searched his apartment out and had sex with Ami 3 or 4 times. It just seems like more of a segway chapter into a new arc of the story or something to me. You didn't really advance the plot or character development in this 5th chapter so that's why I probably feel this way about the chapter. I liked how well you've written it don't get me weong, its just that it was all developement of his urges with Ami and a little of hers and Sakura's back story intertwined. I don't know I wish I could give you that review you need after you said I was your favorite reviewer but I just can't find much substance in this chapter for me to try critiquing on. I'm sorry to dissapoinr you man!
Update soon, and also All Mine as well!
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From kotkas24 on June 25, 2013
Wow naruto is going to get more and more lucky
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From ANON - TheJusticeFriends! on June 13, 2013
Alrighty so this is anon except I took your suggestion and actually put a name to it this time.
So let's start with your reply. I do enjoy the fact that you have this story already planned out and that you definitely plan on continuing it!
That makes me so happy brcause there's plenty of harem stories out there that would actually be decent or good that the author just drops randomly. Also your update timeing? You said it would be spaced out more because you took on a NaruSaku story challenge but you updated like what a few days after? I didn't really see the dates, but if you update like that I wonder what your sense of 'spaced out' is. That was fucking fast as hell. But now i see it will probably become more spaced because you stated you picked up a 3rd challenge so more power to ya on those challenges. Once again another great chapter and I'm looking forward to another great and long chapter my good author. Now i'll try and be constructive somewhat again.

First the pros for this chapter:
I could definitely see much more of the character developement in this chapter like you stated in your reply to me. While it maybe the most used explanation for hooking Tsunade and Naruto up I think it is a wonderful personification of the womanly side of Tsunade that the manga doesn't touch on ofter if at all that i recall. I don't remeber if it does compare Naruto to Dan or Nawaki in the manga but hey whatever. I think it makes Tsunade more womanly and human to see both of those people close to her in him and want that again. And I will whole-heartedly agree that a good story with abundant sex is definitely worth waiting for and I can't wait to see how you reveal it. As for the plot developement I saw some of it but with the female Orochi involved I'm at a loss at where you could take this, which os certainly not a bad thing but I'll express more of that andy opinion in the cons section.
Also I'm glad that you will have him keep some of his girls, I'm bot partial to a playboy, virgin killer, bed-hopping Naruto. It just doesn't fit him. (I do hope that he keeps Sakura as well as gets and also keeps Ino but I think I saw se foreshadowing for that in his head doctor ;) )
I'm glad that you view your lack of reviews that way as well because most authors would be discouraged by it so its a nice change of pace. And also how you view us as your readers as a collective beta pretty much is awesome too. Granted I like hen authors just write the stories for themselves for others to enjoy and don't change directions or take ideas from reviewers its nice to be seen this way.
Also with taking Sakura and Shizune out for a bit I wasn't expecting it but I fully understand where its going. I'm glad that you have the knowhow to write a story that focuses on developing characters without using other characters as a co out I.E. most NaruHina or SasuSaku fics. No offense to you guys out there that are fans... But come on.
The next point would be your description. Definitely noticeable and appreciated. You said it wasn't PWP and you showed that in this chapter. Granted I think the sex was a little rushed to begin with you didn't make them turn out to be just two people looking for a quick fuck and have some backstory to it afterwards. There's probably more that I noticed but I'm short on time and I just wanted to point out the pros now for the cons.

Not much to say but it might be a big paragraph... So that contridicts itself... Whatever:
Spelling. Once again the bane of all good authors. I understand somewhat because in high school I would write stories and have them checked out and have a shit ton of small, stupid spelling mistakes and for the same reason as you. My imagination would kick in, I would get excited and not want to forget my ideas so I'd rush to get to that point and misspell stuff or use improper grammar. Its not a big deal but it can hamper your ability to convey thoughts when you mix up and misspell words. I noticed that a lot in this chapter and while it was still a great chapter I had some trouble conmecting some dots with their dialogue and just side commentary. This chapter to me seemed a little rushed because it was (not to be rude just stating my thoughts) the worst chapter in accordance to grammar and spelling. Hope that didn't sound too mean, but you updated so quickly it makes me think you are trying to get updates out quickly to appease people and satiate their appitite for this story with long, plot/sex/character developement that it hampers your performance. I appreciate your enthusiasm for that but I would much rather you take like a few days to have time to re-read, fix the grammar mistakes, correct the spelling if need be, and pollish some of your ideas that you may not like or didn't feel conveyed well. If that isn't what happened then I'll just look like a jackass and have to deal with that. Oh well.
Next would be the thing that gets me every time. The feelings kf the women presented in this story. I touched on this in my anon review and you stated that you were getting to that point because he hasn't stepped iutside of the hospital but ince again you had Tsunade fall for Naruto in the blink of an eye. Granted most girls like a guy who is compassionate, funny, nice and over all understanding it still irks me that she would jump to sex with him after she was just icily chastizing Naruto for doing it with her two daughter figures. Don't take that the wrong way, I love this story bunches but when the girls fall for him after one encounter it just doesn't make sense to me. And Sakura and Shizune were totally okay with spying on him fucking the shit out of their boss/mother figure makes me think "are they vouyerists(spelling?)?" buy I also tried to look at it from the point of what the girls have said about the males of the village and the bedt answer I cam up with would be just their womanly needs like Naruto said, but I don't know it still kinda bugs me and I'd appreciate it if you'd explain it in your response if you have one. :D
And lastly. Gender bending. Now the following paragraph will be solely my opinion not my take on this chapter. Be warned.
EW EW EW FUCKING GROSS DISGUSTING EW! Sorry I just... Ugh I can't stand gender bending in any stories. Sorry if you have it plotted out in the story already, I'll gladly continue reading it but eaugh. I'm nlt even talking about Naruto ficking them either, I just don't like it period. You may not have Naruto fick Fem Orochi but as usal my imagination allows me to picture the characters and how they look and why they look like and I immediatly cringe when thinking of any fem character that has been gender bended. Again that's just me and you know I'm one out of like 10,000 hits but I'm sure at least 1 person of those agrees with me... I hope... Please someone?... Anyone?....

Anyways those are my thoughts on this chapter and story so far so I hope you read this huge ass storybook take on it. Hope this gave you some positive incentive rather than negative. I enjoy this story and all its kinkyness and well you know most of my thoughts now.

P.S. I might be going against the title of the story but I'm not a fetish person so I think you have enough fetishes in already. If you add more that's okay for me except the shitting and creepy shit like that. But again your story, your ideas.

Thanks for reading and update soon!
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From lobo_sangriento on June 13, 2013
excellent addittion i was hoping to see Tsunade soon and was perfect here very natural for her character
do like the idea for naruto being accused of beign s spy tough add more flavor to his mistery altough like before i`ve seen many movies and hentai games with familiar trama so he may be a spy and villages often have a dark secret >=3

i would like to see several kins for each character one of my favs so far has has to be the porstate massage from sakura nd the milk from tsunade it fitted their characters very well, i was wondering if Tsume gets her turn will she be more feral kinda into role play like her acting like a dog with collar and leash and possible Hana joining in as well.
more kinks would welcome like footjobs,bondage, femdom for examples
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From boyarina on June 12, 2013
enjoyed it!!
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From ANON - wdefe on June 10, 2013
Sigh, is ever Singe girl going to have the same ridiculoas body sizes.. boring..
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From ANON - Anon on June 10, 2013
So this is actually fucking amazing and seriously way original. Although I'm still not sure with these chapters if you're going to make this a family like harem where he lives happily ever after with all his girls or if he just ends up with one. No comment on Hinata except maybe Of course but that's just out of spite. I Love that you started with Sakura and I wonder if he is going to keep the girls he fucks or if its just a one time thing. I sure hope he keeps them, mostly Sakura but again that's just my personal preference. This is a great story so far with only 3 chapters! Its a wonderful length so please keep them about the same (I don't know why people like shorter chapters, its just dumb to me).
The only thing I could think of to put this up there with say Eroninja by The Lemon Sage or any other great harem story out there is character development first and foremost. Actually that's really it.
You put a blanket development down for any of the future girls with Sakura saying there are hardly any males but from what I recall that's about all. Next thing I know you had Shizune saying she loved Naruto from just one session of sex and no real bonding. Not trying to be rude but that was a blatent cop out for furthering the relationship without any real basis to it. But hey character developement may not be your fort�! So I can understand. And about the reviews lemme just say don't give up no matter how few you get because this really is a potentially phenominal story, but not if you don't enjoy it. Hell I was reading Eroninja and Lemon Sage has what maybe somewhere between like 90-110 reviews and he writes chapters almost twice as long and he has almost 40 of them. I'm not even the author and that is discouraging. So please ask for them, but don't expect much!
You have a great potential story here and I hope that you keep it coming and don't get discouraged!
Also I don't know if you've already plotted it out yet but keep the harem relatively small please! I can tolerate harem stories that try and add every filler/movie/one-off girl in the narutoverse but only if its good enough. A.k.a the story I keep referencing Eroninja. But seriously it gets kind ridiculous. Maybe the women from Konoha and like 1 or 2 others. But hey, your story your decision. I'll respect it either way and hope that you continue and reintroduce Sakura next chapter or soon!
Thanks and great job so far!
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From ANON - Anon on June 10, 2013
Like the story, though for some reason the most punctuation marks seem to be butchered.
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From kotkas24 on June 07, 2013
I really want to see what happens next!
Looking forward to next chapter!
Keep up the great work.
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From lobo_sangriento on June 07, 2013
this is a great setting for the story being trapped in a hidden village with barely no chance of escapping
it does have a feel of a erotic horror movie i do remember seeing several eroge games with this kind of premise

looking foward to see how this goes i bet the entire village has a deep secret ivolving naruto in some form
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From ANON - Anon on June 05, 2013
Fantastic chapter. the quotation bubbles were frustrating, but I enjoyed reading the seduction.
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From holymarine on June 03, 2013
Am loving the story but I am also getting letters instead of quotation marks
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From ANON - Sdfsd on June 03, 2013
Eh sorry, the site (or my browser) was fucking up and showing quotations marks as weird characters.
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From ANON - sdfsd on June 01, 2013
wtf is this “
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