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Reviews for Hot Night in Konoha (complete)

By : presserkun
  • From shishio on August 05, 2010
    Me standing up for presser-kun (skip down four paragraphs if you just want the review):

    First off, I would like to point out to those who have revied that non-con /is/ rape. If you ignored that warning, you do /not/ deserve to b*tch the author out for it. ^.~ That's why there are warnings. So you don't have to read something you don't like. In my opinion, you're just as bad as the Sasuke/Sakura or Naruto/Hinata trolls that posted derogatory remarks on Naruto/Sasuke or Sasuke/Naruto chapters.

    And you /cannot/ give the excuse that you only saw the warnings once. It's like someone walking into a dump-space that has a sign on the gate, "Vicious Guard Dog Inside," and they are surprised that there's a vicious guard dog inside so they sue the man, hoping to get money from it. Furthermore, it is not like those warnings do not flash once and then dissapear. It is not the author's job to make sure you read his/her warnings. (Both of these are generic statements directed only at those people complaining about the rape that was clearly going to happen. Because it's sad that presser-kun has to explain things to avoid getting his(?O.o) head bitten off. >>)

    And before ANYONE goes around saying, "You can tell, she's one of the ones that enjoys non-con and that's the only reason she's sticking up for him." (Yeah, I'm aware my username is male.) I do not condone rape. I never have, and I never will. However, this is a piece of fictional literature with fake people. It's like you're sticking up for a cover that got washed in harsher-than-normal detergent. >> (Yeah, I love metaphors. Makes people look silly. :3 And yes, I can use metaphors like that, because the items don't have to be the same to have similar situations. Aristotle compared the Greek Pantheon to mules, after all. -Or was it donkeys?-) These characters are not real and have no feelings. Furthermore, they do not have any "real" repercussions to their actions. (There was more, but I started thinking about cake and. . . Yeah. . . x3)

    Presser-kun, no author ever has to explain and/or apologize to those reading his stories for anything that happens in the books. If they don't like where a story is going, they should put it down. Continuing on despite knowing how things are going to turn out automatically shifts the blame to the people reading. It's easy to hit the little red x. And the fact that you felt that you had to explain yourself says something amazing for your character as a person. ^_^ I applaud you.

    Now. To actually review:

    Personally, I find your writing style refreshing and promising. I sincerely hope that you get to continue writing of AFF. ^__^ I also highly enjoy your story telling.

    However, as someone pointed out, the way you wrote Naruto in the beginning put a thought of innocence in our heads. His earlier characterization is completely at-odds with his actions later on. Personally, I felt the whole thing went a little bit fast at the end and should have been slowed down a bit by Naruto's thoughts as they developed from, "Sasuke's a really cool guy. I hope I can talk to him for a bit longer," to, "Sasuke's a really hot guy, I want to have sex with him," to, "Ok, now I just want to rape him." I can sorta see the reason why Naruto was so anxious, it was repeated several times, but it was never clearly stated. (Reason: There are very, very few gay guys in Konoha, and Naruto only knows that he is gay and no one else. If you were deprived of sex for 20+ years -That's how old he sounded- then you would be frustrated, too. I'm not saying this condones rape, I'm just saying that this is probably Naruto's reason why.) In other words, a smoother transition is needed.

    If you need a beta-reader, you can contact me at fireprincess59 @ yahoo . com. ^____^ I'd be happy to help you out.
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  • From nivell on August 03, 2010
    I was hoping for more! Hope to see a sequel soon! As for the non-con sex, I didn't mind it at all. Really fits the mood and I kidna like seeing Sasuke roughed up a bit, heh.
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  • From mannahpierce on August 03, 2010
    I too was majorly disappointed with where the story ended up. I was very taken by the portrayl of Naruto in the early chapters and then suddenly, he metamorphosised into a character that was at odds with both the essence of the generic Naruto character and with how he had been written earlier. If you had been determined to fulfil the brief (which I think you should have refused) you could have been more imaginative. For example, you could have had the rape (because that was what it was) carried out by another person using a Naruto henge. A number of the stories on this site celebrate rape and other abuse and I turn away from those stories as soon as I realise what they are. What was, frankly, upsetting about your story was that it was well written and the characters were engaging, so I kept reading expecting some twist or turn to explain what was happening and redemn the Naruto character. Only it never came. What a disappointment.
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  • From goodchaos on August 02, 2010
    non-consensual sex? Hell you should have put rape!
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  • From Prism0467 on August 02, 2010
    Your warnings need to appear at the beginning of each chapter, not just the first one or as part of the summary. Additionally, your title is generic and not a suitable indication of what was being written. Honestly if I had had a better indication of what you were writing I would not have read a word of it. I found the final two chapters disturbing.
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 02, 2010
    I just finished reading this fiction and I was dissapointed that you chose to go with the non consentual sex. Rape is rape no matter how Naruto's character wants to spin it. Sasuke really needed to think things through and instead he was pressured and forced into something he wasn't sure he wanted, or was certain he was ready for. No one deserves to have such a violent first time, and especially when they are not sure of their sexuality.

    totally dissapointed in chapters 7 and 8
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  • From minaaaaaaaa on August 01, 2010
    naruto stop and no dont mean laugh at ur partner and tell them they want it. *flips naruto off* Sasuke sounded pretty upset to me, i dont really believe what he said at the end and don't think they should proceed any further tonight. he clearly needs time to sort himself out. so i shant read the last chappy, i'll just end here. peace out.
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  • From minaaaaaaaa on July 30, 2010
    aaww i was kinda hoping against hope that it wouldnt be a narusasu. oh well
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 28, 2010
    well let's hope that sasuke takes naruto up on his offer to stay for a few days....maybe the kids can offer some comfort. i'm really interested to see if naruto is the son of the 4th and if he knows about it in your story. also is naruto an ninja in training? is he an academy student?
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  • From MyGrandioseEgo on July 28, 2010
    It's interesting, especially the approach. I like it and do continue. Your writing is clear, without too much unneeded details and from my point of view is clear that you have the story in your mind and is not just a pretext for hot scenes. I’m totally waiting for further events.
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  • From setoswifey on July 27, 2010
    Oh man...what an awesome start. I already cant wait to read more.
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