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Reviews for A Little Piece Of Heaven

By : MagicalReality
  • From ANON - ChocolateMuffin23 on November 23, 2010
    I love this story. It is so sweet and the children are so adorable!
    I love the ending. PERFECTLY WRITTEN. Thank you.
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  • From ANON - moodysavage on September 13, 2010
    awwwww
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  • From asm613 on February 17, 2010
    Though this was well written_it's transition from chapter 1 is like black and white. Chapter 1 left with Sasuke swearing that Fugaku would never see his grandchildren and Fugaku wanting to send his son to straight camp, locking him up in his room for months, etc.. Chapter 2 starts with the children jumping on Fugaku and Sasuke seems fine with it. Fugaku doesn't offer the apology for years of causing Sasuke pain and making him feel shamed--but reeps the benefits of having full access to his grandchildren. Shouldn't Fugaku's suffering, punishement and asking for forgiveness at least match the same level of emotion that he hated sasuke and naruto with. You inferred that Sasuke stayed in touch with his mother in some way because they knew of the children. Maybe if you mentioned Fugaku coming to his senses a couple of years later and writing his son a letter asking for forgiveness and that he was wrong to say what he did and treat sasuke and naruto the way he did-it would make more sense. Fugaku changes from wanting to kill naruto for taking his son away to giving them time alone to have sex; with no explanation for his change in attitude. So I guess it just feels like there's a part missing connecting the 2 chapters. Maybe you'll cover that in flash backs or the next chapters??
    Again--it was well written and other than fugaku's unexplained change in attitude-I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
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  • From asm613 on February 17, 2010
    Naruto came tonight, and he’s taking me to Kyoto. I won’t be back,
    Make sure you get rid of this phone so your father doesn’t track it.”


    What kid runs away and then tells his parents where he'll be in a letter. he's underage. that means the parents can get the cops after him as a runaway. that also means the people he stays with can be charged with kidnapping or harboring a minor against the parent's wishes. Mikoto tells Sasuke to get rid of his cell phone so his father can't track him; even though she is the one who showed him the letter telling him where Sasuke was going. Not the actions of a genius and contradictions in the mothers behavior/action.
    And at 16 years and both being male; the grandchildren thing seems a little silly.
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  • From loveusender on January 16, 2010
    This was such a nice one-shot :D i really liked it!
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