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Reviews for Pupil of the Serpent

By : Mario
  • From Krissael on April 19, 2013
    I still just can't get over how much I truly enjoy your story! I hope you update soon!
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  • From Aieika on April 14, 2013
    pretty awesome story! Looking forward to an update.

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  • From JigokuDayu on April 10, 2013
    I've truly enjoyed to new stuff! I don't really like Shippuden, so I'm not too familiar with Bee, but I still think you did a good job on him. It seemed like a plausible story arc for the series. And please do keep writing! You've done a fantastic job, despite what you think. It's a great fic!
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  • From JigokuDayu on April 09, 2013
    Can I just say that, "I doubt they're toasting my health," is an awesome line? Brilliant!
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  • From JigokuDayu on April 09, 2013
    Ooh, I'm so happy you updated! (I had no idea till I uploaded my new stuff the other day, or I would've read it sooner.) The rewrites are very well done, though I loved the original. Not quite caught up as I'm getting sleepy, but I'll finish the last few chapters tomorrow. Excellent writing, I must say! Don't be so critical of yourself. Keep up the lovely work and give us some lemon soon! Or lots of lemon, rather. And thanks for not giving up on this fic!
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  • From ANON - Mizuru007 on April 02, 2013
    **Okay, this is the third time attempting to post this. I am so desperate to post this review, I got up from my bed and went to my computer to type this out. THIS IS HOW MUCH I LIKE YOUR STORY OKAY YOU ARE AMAZING. *ahem*

    "Guess who just re-read the whole story to see your amazing editsssss~
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  • From ANON - Mizuru007 on April 02, 2013
    (I hate this tablet so much NO ENTER BUTTON ALLOWED OKAY). Guess who just re-read the whole story to see your amazing editsssssss~
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  • From ANON - Mizuru007 on April 02, 2013
    Guess who just re-read the whole story to see your amazing editsssssss~
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  • From HorriblePsycho on March 23, 2013
    Wow, just wow. It's really well writen. Well done.
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  • From ANON - Aeva El on March 20, 2013
    This is nice; seriously! I'm no literary giant, so I can't say there's anything wrong. So long as the plot's stable, and the writing isn't inundated with beginner's errors, I'm content. :)
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  • From ANON - Mizuru007 on March 08, 2013
    *doing

    It would be really great if I could edit my review, ughhh.
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  • From ANON - Mizuru007 on March 08, 2013
    Wooowowowowowowowow.

    Okay, let me start with a proper response to your question. I'm going okay! Yeah! YEAAAAH~ No fame or wealth, just on the right track for my future career finally. C:

    NOW THEN JESUS FUCKING BEE. I love B. I want to hold B in my hands and whisper phat beats n rhymes into his ear while we lie in bed, he's so great. Like, he's kinda corny, but in the best way and I love you for making him, haha! The end to this chapter also warmed my heart; I literally started giggling madly. Something about imagining that is too heartwarming for me to handle~ Way to be amazing at writing, geeeez~

    Anticipating the next chapter with bated breath.
    no really i refuse to breathe until you update



    the world is kinda turning greenish oh gee
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  • From Krissael on March 07, 2013
    I just can't get over how much I love this fanfiction! I really hope to see an update soon! Also, I am re-writing my fanfiction, because I am a perfectionist, and when I re-read it, I was really disappointed in my own work because I know I can do better! Anyway, so I hope you will continue to read my fanfiction, and review it! I am following your advice, and again, I really appreciate it! Thanks again for the review and for writing such a well-written, amazing fanfiction!
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  • From Krissael on March 06, 2013
    I just now got your review, and thank you so much for your thoughts! I will try to slow down the story a bit, and give more time with minor characters! I just got so excited that I got a bit carried away, and so I got a bit rushed. And, I have college, so I suppose I get a little rushed for that reason as well. Also, this is my first fanfiction to ever appear online, so I'm really not good with this whole thing! Thank you so much for your feedback! I will try to slow the pace a bit, and elaborate more on what is going on during the time lapses. Also, you said you don't normally read fictions that much, and so it is an honor to me for you to read mine! And my very first review, thanks for that as well! If you ever have any more suggestions, criticisms, etc, please feel free to let me know!

    Also, I absolutely love your story! I am a big Anko/Orochimaru fan, and so I enjoy that. I will make sure to take more time to show the minor characters, and to, perhaps, make it to where so many of the male characters aren't so infatuated with her.

    Also, about the Author's notes through out the story, the main reason I do that is because I have a few of my friends read the chapters before I post them, and they get confused if I don't put the explanations in there, because I suppose they don't have vivid enough imaginations, and so I thought it necessary to make sure that everyone was on the same page. I will try to keep that to a minimum for a while, and see if everyone understands and is on the same page. If they are, then I will continue to keep it at a minimum. If they are not, I will probably go back to the Author's notes.

    Again, thank you so very much for the advice, and I think your fiction is beautifully written! You are doing a great job on it, and I hope to see more chapters soon! Thanks again!

    -Krissael
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  • From ANON - Lynx on February 28, 2013
    Interesting. Glad you updated so I could discover this fic. I hope it doesn't taking months/ year for an update. But life's a busy bitch. Well my total honest opinion....
    I like I like. It's just Orochimaru to me seems way OOC.
    Any who
    I shall be me eye on you.

    Ps! Where is the dark themes....
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