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Reviews for Confession of a Sensei and studentBy : nekluvshp |
- From ANON - Fairy on March 03, 2010
You need to work on the structure of your story. It was difficult to follow as you ran the conversations together.
"I need to see you," Naruto whispered over the phone.
"I know... I'll be home in a few days. I promise," Iruka replied with a smile. Naruto always made him smile.
That's a sample of how a conversation should go. And perhaps you could flesh out some of the sentences. Th story has promise. But needs work in order to be a good read.
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