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Reviews for From The Screen

By : Elesiel
  • From ANON - Dardlea on June 11, 2006
    Hello,
    I've just read your fic, and I LOVE it !!! YOU MADE MY DAY !!!!!!!!!
    The pairing is really toooo cuuuuuuuute, and the story is really amazing! I've never read something like that before.
    I just hope you will update one day !
    I also think Itachi is a bit OOC, but I love him this way.

    looking forward for more !! And... Thank you
    (PS : sorry for my grammar, I'm French)
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  • From ANON - Jezebeth on December 29, 2005
    You still have trouble keeping your structure in shape, and it gives the story a somewhat "jumpy" feel, and it's not very easy to read either..

    From what I can tell, you're translating from another language, and that affects the all-around shape of the story.


    I'm not going to comment on the scenario, because Naruto-yaoi is so over-blown at this point that I'm sick of it. Even with original characters.

    Just fix the structure and the form, and you're all set.
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  • From ANON - Kimuriel on December 27, 2005
    Hei Elesiel,

    Story is looking good so far but i would change this sentence:

    "He could tell that Itachi meant no life threading harm for him at the..."

    into:

    "He could tell that Itachi meant no harm to him at the moment, ...." or Tesla knew that he wasnt in a life threatening situation, at least for the moment, etc.

    As for the writing style so far is good. keep it as it is :) and keep up the good work =D

    Sincerely,

    Kimuriel
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  • From ANON - Cel Castellano on December 26, 2005
    Nice building up of each character, ninja sounds a bit of a conceited smartass....but -shrugs- nice work
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