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Reviews for The True Intentions of Kyuubi

By : XionMetsuo
  • From honon on April 07, 2008
    Hyuuga Hiashi Hiashi is the leader of the Hyuuga clan's main house and has two daughters, Hinata and Hanabi. He feels guilty for the death of his twin brother, Hizashi (Neji's father), who gave his life for him.
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  • From Merchant on November 23, 2007
    I like it very much. Please write more.
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  • From rowinr on September 14, 2007
    Great so far looking forward to more.
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  • From Dynamo on July 22, 2007
    oo realy nice i hope you continue
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  • From BraziliaH on July 11, 2007
    the father's name is hyuuga hiashi
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  • From EagleNinja11 on July 06, 2007
    Hey
    I really liked your story. I hope that you make more chapters cause that would be awesome. Keep up the good work!!

    RewRu
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  • From naruhina420 on April 17, 2007
    ok the story's great, love the whole "he sooo hot, and hinatas father is named Hiashi. i hope to see the rest up soon.
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  • From Nameramthgin on March 09, 2007
    its a really good concept, just feels a little rushed. The sentence stucture is what is causing this. Do not feel bad though, most authors make the same mistake that you are. Try using commas to separate multiple thoughts within a sentence and semi-colons to separate different ideas. This creates a pause, some people might call it an authors breathe. The only real improvement it needs is modified sentence structure to "slow" the story down some. Other then that a great story so far and I will look forward to the next chapter. If you need a beta reader do not hesitate to ask. I will always edit for someone doing a Naru/hina story.
    cheers,
    Nameramthgin
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  • From ANON - domo on December 24, 2006
    -Hinatas father(A/N: if anyone know this guys name please put it in the reviews section, Thank you.)- His name is Hyuuga Hiashi, the sister is Hanabi. I also thought I'd mention a site that had tons of Naruto info; wikipedia.org. I warn you though, there's hella spoilers for the anime. Also, I like the story so far.
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  • From ANON - Zarious on December 06, 2006
    dude good work please hurry on the next chapters
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  • From ANON - John on October 29, 2006
    You should continue it, and I'd recomend looking into open office for free spell check.
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  • From ANON - TwistedTiger on October 24, 2006
    This looks like a great story and don't worry the spelling and everything is fine :D keep up the good work
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 11, 2006
    This story sucks! Your spelling stinks, you use poor grammar, there is no plot, and you seem to have total disregard for the English language! PLEASE for all that is sacred and holy... Never writer again. Perhaps, that was too harsh. First, use spell checker. It is an insult to a beta reader to have to fix the simplest mistakes that you as a writer should be able to fix yourself. Next, after having someone beta this story, be sure to check for any mistakes in grammar or mispellings that a beta reader might have missed. Maybe after doing all of that, you will become a better writer.
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  • From ANON - jesus on September 09, 2006
    this is good write more plz

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  • From ANON - Josh on August 15, 2006
    Hey great start. Never thought you would put him and Kyuubi together because he threatened to kill himself if Kyuubi doesn't let him control his body at all time. So Kyuubi and Naruto merged togehter or what. I have a few things that I would like to ask you if you would e-mail me and thanks for a great story....
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