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Reviews for The Rivalry

By : HermioneStudies
  • From WonderouslyDead on September 09, 2007
    That was h-o-double t HOTT! lol ^_^ lol
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  • From ANON - guesshooo on July 14, 2006
    I LOVE THIS FIC!! SO GREAT!! KEEP WRITING!
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  • From on January 06, 2006
    Great Story!

    ~adios~
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  • From ANON - Spawn of Hell on November 01, 2005
    wah... that. was. HOT. loved it, really. hurray for you!!! and for our two boys for getting it on.... :P
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  • From ANON - MoOdSwInG on September 26, 2005
    ok now I've got to say your one good writter. How you depicted the ascending tension between the boys was amazingly well done. From the ramen shop to the sparring contest and to the playful wrestling match turning to exploration of their mutual desires. But, where I kinda got let down was at the actual sex scene. First of all, I don't know what others think but there is actually more to sex than penetration and if I think that whitout any knowledge of proper, valuable knowledge to initiate said penetration either but would jump to the conclusion that anal penetration would be their only way to get off. That said I suppose you are the author and have the final word as to what should happen between those two. That said, the second complaint I have to add is the fact that water is not lube however you wanna put it. I know that introducing lubrification in a fic can be awkward and hard to pull off but I need to remind you that anal sex, if expressed as a pleasurable act for both partners, needs lubrification and water, even though it is liquid, is not nearly slick enough to ease the insertion of a penis in a rectum (especially for a virgin which Naruto clearly is). Im sorry if this review seems harsh, I don't mean any arm by it. I very seldomly (I know i'm ashame) take the time to review any fanfiction but this needed my intervention. You really, truely are a good writter and it would be a pleasure to read from you again. Your story hook me like there is no tomorrow right until the actual sex act itself. I was cringing like mad at the atrocity both boys must have felt at having sex, for the first time at that, with not lube. Again i"m sorry about being a bitch but do know that I believe in constructive criticism and your fiction are really worth me sacrificing myself if I can say it like that. I've let my e-mail address in my review, if you ever feel like talking about it, feel free to mail me and i'll glady help you out.

    Thanks for reading this and in hope of
    reading something from you again.


    -MoOdSwInG

    P.S. English is my second language so my ideas my have gone through a bit weirdly. Hope you understood anyways.
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  • From ANON - blisblop on September 20, 2005
    Heh.This fic is growing on me.I totally missed the "same boat...ship" part.Too amusing.Tre joley!
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  • From ANON - Demon on September 18, 2005
    *drools* that was amazing and so hot *has a very happy smile on her face*
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  • From ANON - Evil_Ramen_of_Doom on September 17, 2005
    that was good! ^_^ very nice!
    sasuke's such a pervert!

    well keep writing!
    ~Evil_Ramen_of_Doom
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  • From ANON - lo on September 16, 2005
    That was great. It was funny, cute, sweet, and HOT!!! I loved this, the summery does not do it justice!!! This was soooooooo incredilbly well written. And I am Gald you did not make Naruto a total idiot. I love this story. I hope you write more. Keep up the good work.
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  • From ANON - BleuLune on September 16, 2005
    Hey it's me. I really like your story. Thanks for writing it for me. (though you did not menation that in your notes) It's okay I forgive you. I know how forgetful you are. I only know because the line blurs. Keep it up.*nice guy pose* *teeth sparkle*
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  • From ANON - Michael Soma on September 16, 2005
    This story was a sexual masterpiece. I loved the mounting sexual tensions that the author worked to create in the first couple chapters. They were just two boys playing in the woods until they started having wayward thoughts of affection and sexual desire. Suddenly, the reader is thrown into the violent splashing of water as the boys enjoy a little more than childish interaction. I must admit that, though I am not gay, some of the author's depictions of the boys' encounter made me aroused. The only complaint I have with this story is the sexual irresponsibility of the two; neither cared about protection and/or aids. Remember kids, always be careful in those situations. In general though, I really enjoyed this piece; sexual tension, fused with sarcasm, and a powerful release, all add up to a successful adult ficion story.
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  • From ANON - nicole on September 15, 2005
    nice fic you should keep going and make somthing dramatic happens that'll keep readers hoked
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  • From ANON - droolinginherseat on September 15, 2005
    O.O oh my...*mops up bloody nose* That was great! *hands you a Sasuke doll* Here you, use it to hit people. Its a present because your wonderful fic! I almost died of blood loss but it wouldn't be a bad way to go. I can see the headlines now:

    Girl Dies Ealier Today After Bleeding Unstoppably From the Nose. Police Blame Incrediable fic She was Reading and Are Currently Looking For the Author For Questioning. (sidenote) 4 Other Police in Hostpital Receiving Treatment After Reading a Paragraph. Critical Condition.

    Keep up the good work *Tackles and Glomps* Ja ne! =3
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  • From ANON - arryelle on September 15, 2005
    I really liked it alot never Thought I'd be satisfied with a one-shot but I was great job

    Arry
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  • From ANON - Sukara ((Not signed in)) on September 15, 2005
    Omigawd!! That was so hawt!!!! xD-Adds to Favorites- More SasuNaru!!
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