Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Teamwork 2

By : Askerian

From ANON - Masaka1 on August 01, 2010
Hey! This thing is actually letting me review...that's unexpected. Anyway I haven't read more of this particular chapter than the author's notes but I still felt that I should say something to make you realize not all of your fans are nuts. I read tons of Laurell K. Hamilton stuff and that particular author is the queen of boy-harems. This awkward-phase resonates to close to that author that I can't find anything I hate about it (though I am still horribly worried about Sakura because for some reason I just think ninja-training is like the passive-agressive form of kunnouchi birth-control...though I probably think that because I've seen too many scenes of the boys beating the hell out of eachother and the local vegetation)

I have to admit I was surprised when you didn't bring up the idea of the Uchiha Manor being a possible new home...but then again considering all the psychologically ramifications that building has as part of any plot I can understand if including the familial homestead wasn't condusive to where you wantedd your story to go.

Anyway, I love this story! Naruto really is the idiot ice-breaker that his stuffy teammates need, Sakura is --whether the boys want to admit it or not-- the anchor to normal society and Sasuke is....well he's the romantically brooding 'oh-my-god-I-love-him-but-I'm-also-really-glad-there-is-someone-here-to-help-me-weather-his-moods' dude.

...And on the totally fangirl-ish 'you don't have to listen to it' side I LOVE A CUDDLY NARUTO!! The boy has YEARS of casual hugs and snuggles to catch up on! It is great even if Naruto is just treated as a puppy with no actual intellectual obligations only the obligation to be cuddly.

Anyway great work!
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From angelnomiko on February 23, 2010
wow that was awsome and i cant wait in till teamwork 3 is out .. later for now

angel
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From Shadowmaiden3 on December 06, 2009
...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I. Am. Speechless. Whoever was saying that you should change anything needs to go get their head checked. If you had dared to touch anything I would have to hunt you down. And there is (was?) a sequel in the works?? *throws confetti*

(Kakashi, you poor bastard. Though he has the volumes memorized?!?!)
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From ANON - Anon on November 11, 2009
Alright, at last! =D

(I review as I read.)

Yeesh, I hope you got a lot of sleep after this entry. ^^;

Ah, so this backtracks a little in the previous scene. ____ Gotta tell you -- the whole business with creating a chakra-transfer seal for Sakura was absolutely genius. And I loved the description of how they put it all together and when they finally executed the plan. Loved the barriers, the stuff with the ink & blood, the animalistic effects on Sakura ... everything was totally kick-ass. ____ I could also understand Sasuke's anxiety. He was kind of left out of that mental/spiritual connection between Naruto, Kyuubi and Sakura. No wonder he's a little freaked out. ____ Love the way he shows them Sakura's claws. ____ I like her explanation about how it affected her hair as well. ____ Part of me is also wondering how Sakura can be so sure that she's alright. Love it when Sasuke's nervous. ____ Love these descriptions: "Black hair framing high cheekbones, dark, slanted eyes, deadly serious -- worried." and "Sasuke's strong, callused hand on Sakura's belly." ____ "Lean back. Let me see yours." Lol. (*nudge*nudge*) ____ "... and the delicious thoughts of pulling Sasuke closer and making him ride his thigh ..." Oh, I wish.... '"Badly enough to change Sakura to make sure of that?" Sakura's claws raked the floor as she gave Sasuke a harried glare.' Sasuke's probably feeling left out, poor guy. ^^; ____ 'Sasuke frowned and placed his palm on Naruto's forehead, fingers catching in his hair, and angled Naruto's face to stare into his eyes. "What's wrong with you, dead-last? Dizzy?"' Awwww, sweet. ♥ ____ "playing chakra flash-flood," lol. Is that name a takeoff of a game title? ^^ ____ It's interesting how the focus shifted from Sakura to Naruto to Sasuke throughout the scene so far. ____ Lol, Sasuke's so fussy. ^^ ____ "Sasuke... Don't make us tear off your clothes with our teeth. We'd do it." God, I'd love to see a picture of that. =D ____ As entertaining as Sasuke's resistance is, I hope there's some time in the future where he'd be all too willing to join in. ____ "This isn't funny -- are you hunting me?" Yup! XD I always loved that part. ____ I wonder why Sasuke's denying himself so much. The only logical reasons I can imagine right now is that he feels threatened, and the idea of him being afraid to get close to someone. But so long as he doesn't admit even a little bit of that to the other two ... I dunno. I just think he should sometime. Maybe Sakura and Naruto can figure out some more careful way to coax it out of him. (That's probably going to be hard to write, though.) ____ Lol, love it when Naruto interrupts by mentioning the bedroom and making it easier to get Sasuke's pants off. XD ____ "Sasuke went along with it for a few steps, a little dazed, but when they passed through the door between the dojo and the house, he dug in his heels." XDDD Still intimidated by sex, eh? ____ Ah! And now comes the new part! =D ____ "Because Sasuke never used to look at her like that... Intense, surprised. Noticing." Great mental image of that. ____ "... in her face he could see the same kind of slightly startled, mostly interested noticing as Sasuke's." Her too. Naruto already noticed both of them back probably before The Night. ^^ ____ "Naruto's dick instantly went from 'hard' to 'oh please fuck me now'." Lol, how eloquent. ____ "... it was more narrow-eyed, more measuring, hiding his reaction because if he showed too much he would lose face in the permanent competition they were always playing." (*snort*) Sizing him up, are we? ____ "Sasuke groaned in his mouth, and pushed them both down on the bed under him." OH YEAH! >D ____ "Naruto groaned again as he watched, a hand sneaking down to his cock to give himself a little bit of relief." That's a funny line because it makes me want to take a count of whose hands are where. XD Naruto: 1 groping Sakura, 1 groping Sasuke. Sakura: 1 in Sasuke's hair, the other unknown. Sasuke: both unknown. ____ Stopped breathing? If he's talking about now, that's a dumb excuse. If he's still hung up on earlier with the seal and all ... (*checks*) Yup. There's the part where he's telling her to breathe. ____ Love it how Sasuke isn't easily seduced when there's stuff bothering him that much. ____ "... Stop smothering me and let's get to fucking already." (*snort*) He changed his mind quick. What brought that on? He was all for discussing the earlier events 30 seconds ago, and now he just jumped tracks. I don't get it, but it's funny. ____ Lol, can't count the legs. You're good at writing the messy threesome stories where everybody just kind of does whatever they want. =) ____ Love it how Sakura's words give Naruto a total boner. ____ "Sasuke wasn't even struggling against it, just periodically giving little twitches that seemed to Naruto more like he was making sure she still held on properly." Love that detail, too. Twitch, twitch. Kinda cute. ____ Little Sasuke does not lie, Sasuke. ____ I'm amazed at how long Sasuke can hold that expression. ____ Sakura: "Shut up and blow him already." Naruto: "Ooh, I love it when you talk all vulgar, Sakura-chan--" Sasuke: "Shut up and blow me already," *shove* Me: ROFL!!! ♥♥♥ ____ "... choking and throwing up were risks he wasn't going to take right now, thanks ..." But he'll risk it sometime. I'd love to see him practice that on Sasuke. >D ____ Oh god, the whole "manliness" bit... hahahahaha, that's too good. I wonder how Lee and Gai would react to the manly passion. XDDD (*cracks up*) ____ Haha, Sasuke just called her a bitch. XD It's interesting when it says, "Naruto could have told him years ago," because Naruto was still in love with her. ____ Yeah, I had the feeling that Sasuke would be real hesitant if the other two were watching him, so he waited for them to get distracted with each other before going down on Naruto. =) ____ "... he glared up at them both with angry eyes even as his cheeks curved in and little stars exploded under Naruto's eyelids." Damn, that's hot. With that mental image, I almost expect Sasuke to start growling like Sakura and Naruto had. (*shiver*) ____ "But it was like a rule that he had to give Sasuke shit about it ..." Ahahaha, yeeeah, about that, Naruto ... not the best idea when in this position with a guy who might be a little insecure and might take that out on someone else. He can bite. ^^;;; ____ ... or he can really make you see stars, along with meteors and planets and asteroids and comets and .... ____ Nice job, Sasuke. ____ "I thought it was boring." Ooh, ouch. ____ "Sasuke looked more interested in that one." Yeah, I'll bet. =_) ____ "...No, not especially." SO CUTE! (*glomps*) ♥♥♥ ____ "You were so beautiful." Were? ____ "dead Curse Seal" D= I liked that thing, dammit! DDD= I hope he can use that some more in the future. It's one of my favorites. ____ I think the mood changed a bit from when the Curse Seal was mentioned. And is Sakura already done riding Sasuke? There wasn't even an orgasm yet! D< ____ "Both on their sides now, their heads pillowed on Sasuke's thighs, looking up, smiling at their third." (*purrrr*) Very nice image. Both sweet and erotic. =D ____ I think the orgasms for everybody could be a little more impressive. (Then again, what do I know?) (*shuffles self-consciously*)

Alright! For the most part, it was freakin' awesome! Thanks and thanks again for writing it! =DDDD ♥♥♥
(Only suggestion is that the ending parts need just a little more. It felt a little like they just got tired and decided to call it a night. No offense. >.
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From serenagold on November 10, 2009
Fantastic. Simply fantastic.

I absolutely loved this story. The characterizations were perfect and I loved the honest and open flow of emotions between the characters. All three members of Team Seven are damaged in their own way and I adore the way you've fleshed out their insecurities and unspoken understandings between them.

Fabulous piece of literature. Keep up the fantastic work.
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From spooksies on November 10, 2009
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.....................

the last set of lines!! OMFG!! i laughed out of the chair!

are ya thinking of making just one more????? please?!?!?

laters,

miko ~_^
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From SuzeeSail on June 10, 2009
Wow I can't believe you have to resort to ranting at your reviewers. Some of them must be a little stupid your writing and intentions are perfectly clear to me. Brilliant story so far loving it. I may not be the greatest Sakura fan but you portray her in a really enjoyable light, like she's strong and cool but not so much that she's OOC. So very good, must read on now. ^^ -Yasu
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From Verakum on August 21, 2008
first i loved the story and the plot and all... but i cant stop to say how can you write such a good story and not a single LEMON! :cry not sex nor anything.... GOD ... it was soo good... and i didnt see them cumming... :cry
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From ANON - lovly loon on June 28, 2008
hi I know I just reviewed but i did'nt get everything I wanted down. please don't shoot me please!! I just wanted to say you really held back. you couldev put more intamate stuff in this story I really was disapointed. It was really frustrating reading your story there was never any relife like I never got say "oh finaly" it just left me wanting and not in a good way. please cocider puting more detailed sex sences in your storys cause I con't konw if you know how importantthey really are cause seriously when you see that your goimg to read a threesome fic you looking for sex really you are also a great plot to go with it but your really want the sex DETAILED sex secnces they go hand and hand .ok I'm going to stop i really loved your story but yaeh so please please concider what I said cause i'm not tryig to rip you a new one about this story really im not:) I'm just pointing what I and A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE REALLY REALLY WANTED!!!!!
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From ANON - lovlyloon on June 28, 2008
That was a greaet story can't wait for the 3rd one but I was wondering why we could'nt see the sex secen Imean it was all building up to that Im The togtherness the knowing it's more then being a team. I was ready for a really hot love i mean really hot!!!!! so I was really diopointed when you just kindof left it with no details no anytihing!!! plesae please next story can you have more sex/love sences It was a great plot line it's not just smut but I was looking for all the intensityy of their relation ship to come out in the sex and not gonna lie I'm kindof a perv ha ha I really wanted read about it it's hot and you know I'm not the only one reading tihs and thinking the same thing and wanting the same thing!1 please please can you really put more detial in your sex secnes!! that would just be the push that thios story needs from going from great to amazing!!! and again I'm NOT the only one that fells this way!!!!!
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From ANON - Kitty on June 22, 2008
Oookay I read the A/N. I'm so sorry, I thought this is how the rest of the fic went. I'm reviewing before I had the chance to finish the chapter because by the time I finish I might forget. Anyway, I'm leaving my email in case you want to tell me how stupid I am, it's not healthy to keep things inside XD
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From ANON - Kitty on June 22, 2008
am.. the review above is regarding chapter 4
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From ANON - Kitty on June 22, 2008
Aww to tell you the truth I'm a little bit disappointed. Now before you kill me let me explain: it's not like I was counting on the Naruto/Sasuke pairing more, I just assumed that the three of them feel the same for each other. But it seems that for Sakura the guys feel something like romantic love but with each other they are really only fuckbuddies, with Sakura they became lovers but with each it's just� fuckbuddies. I don't know, maybe it's because they're guys they won't go any further than this, but still� I can't help but feel disappointed�
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From Imagy on April 09, 2008
damn
that really makes me wonder what vol. 2 pg 35 is
XD
and I seriously hope you update with Teamwork three soon
this gets left on such a cliffy for the overall plot
and the relationship status

so, please update soon
I wanna see what happens next~!
^o^
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From ANON - mary on February 23, 2008
please finsh!!!!! i went back and read everything twice again so i could get a good laugh. i would love to see the reactions of the elders faces of what they did to sakura!

so please finsh.....been waithing for a long long long while for the ending.
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