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Reviews for Kokoro no Kizu, Wounds of the Heart

By : Yamiyugikun
  • From Hestia on September 17, 2006
    Oh, wow, this is pretty hot stuff! I was a little worried about Iruka there for a bit, but it didn't go there. Good tension!
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  • From ANON - frizzy197 on July 22, 2006
    COOL!!!!!! WRITE MORE!!
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  • From ANON - vampchic on July 15, 2005
    Very cute! I never heard of parents continuing to take baths with there children as they got older. A good tibit to know. I thought for sure that Iruka would sort of freak at the thought of Naruto getting aroused. I kind of liked that he didn't. He's just trying to be as supportive of Naruto as he can be. Hope that you update soon. Cant wait to read more!
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  • From ANON - vampchic on June 29, 2005
    Well, it sounds like Sasuke is going to try. Though he obviously has some issues to work through, but hey, this is Sasuke here, of course he's going to have issues! XP I hope that you update soon. Cant wait to read more
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  • From ANON - Saki on June 28, 2005
    That's a very cute yet sweet relationship developing between Sasuke and Naruto and I like how it's going. But one of the words is mispelled. "Usura tonkachi" is acutally "Usurutonkachi" with only one "a". Other things you might wanna check is sometimes the spellings.It helps out alot but other things I can say is keep it up.I can't wait for the next chapter.
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  • From ANON - Emily Saeke on June 24, 2005
    moremoremoremore...heh, I say that a lot^^;; I love this!! Keep it up!!!
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  • From ANON - vampchic on May 15, 2005
    that was cute!XD i really hope Sasuke gets over his jerkiness.(is that even a word??)
    And Naruto really does have a big heart, doesn't he??
    update soon!! want to read more!!
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  • From ANON - tashayar-chan on May 12, 2005
    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! i can't say anything more... thanks... more please!
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  • From ANON - hogo-chan on May 09, 2005
    so sad! oh my! please update fast! your fic is so awesome and heart warming!
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  • From ANON - vampchic on May 09, 2005
    geeze. sasuke sure can be an ass. letting naruto get his hopes up high like that then making them crash down.
    i hope he tries to apologise to naruto for being such a jerk. poor naruto.:(
    update soon. want to read more!!
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  • From ANON - k on April 27, 2005
    "“For gods sake, just shut up. If this doesn’t quiet you, nothing will.” Sasuke reached over, yanking by my white jacket collar. Then he closed his eyes, bent down, claiming my lips with his. Hot, pulsating flesh sucked at my mouth, licked by his tongue demanding entry. It wriggled its way in, sliding up to the roof of my mouth, swirling around, tickling mercilessly. I pulled back moaning, but he tightened his grasp, tongue diving deeper towards the recesses of my throat.

    Struggle all want you, Naruto-kun, he seemed to say. But it’s useless. You challenge me, I dominate, and you’re mine!"




    This made me giggle, it reads more like cheesy tentacle rape than kissing. Really, "hot, pulsating flesh sucked at my mouth" isn't sexy, it makes me think of cheap-fx aliens. Which explains why Naruto is such a wilting B-movie heroine in this fic, I suppose. The characters bear almost no resemblence to the ones in the anime - remove the names and the telltale phrases (kunai, usuratonkachi, etc) and there's nothing to show it's them. Naruto is after Sasuke's recognition, yes, but he's not quite as simpering about it as you've made him. Also, he does not use the -kun suffix for Sasuke, ever. In fact, Naruto acts an awful lot like Sakura here - and if he did, Sasuke would get annoyed with him, same as he does with her. Maybe you should study them a bit more, and then come back to this fic.
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  • From ANON - vampchic on April 26, 2005
    second chap was cute. sasuke really is a softy at heart, isn't he??
    cant wait for the next chapter. update soon!
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  • From ANON - fyredevyl on April 22, 2005
    Great beginning. Can't wait to read more.
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  • From ANON - pixiequeen on April 20, 2005
    Amazing, keep up the good work~!!
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  • From kagaya on April 20, 2005
    If it's "Wounds of the Heart", the title should be "Kokoro no Kizu". "Kizu no Kokoro" reads as "Wound's Heart", or "Heart of Wounds".
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